I’m on version three of this post. One I shared on my Barefoot At The Kitchen Table website because that was who I went as over the weekend, one I shared on my Substack because I’d got some lovely encouraging comments there, and also that is my “being a writer” space, and now I want to share here because I shared that I was going on Holding That Space and I want you to know what happened when I held that space and waited.
The weekend at Ten or Less was awesome. It reawakened in me why I love encouraging others to write. I met loads of amazing people, many of whom have signed up for my newsletter, spoke to people about collaborating and have a buzz of ideas not just of what to do with workshops but what to do with my writing. Read more about it here – Encouragement and Inspiration
The weekend also reminded me of why I write and how I love to write. People talking about their desire to write their memoirs reminded me of my desire to do. Do the workshop I did reminded me of how much fun I get from putting words together. I have people to chase up [one who’s already got in touch with me] about collaborating together. The joy of meeting with other creatives and how that inspires us all. I’ve written more about that on here – Encouragement, Support and Inspiration
And of course I had to add these posts to here because this, even though it is not my first blogging space it is my longest running. The first post I posted on here was on 1st January 2015, [Read it here – Good Morning 2015! ] with lots of things about my life up in the air and that was all before we knew we were moving to North Wales and before I believed enough in myself to start writing group – which again only came about through encouragement and support.
I know there have been people who have been dismissive about the “likes” etc on Facebook, blogs, etc but I don’t know about you but I like them. I love it when I see the same person put a “like” on my post regularly, when I get new followers. It isn’t an ego but it is an encouragement thing. Yes at times I have to be careful not to post with who I think is reading it in mind but just share where my heart it. Sometimes when I’ve shared with trepidation and then get a “like” it gives me more confidence to go and do it again.
So let us all remember to “like” each others posts, to comment on each others post, and to share our hearts gently and kindly whether in written word, spoken word or deed.
And always feel free to Buy Me a Coffee or similar
a gorse bush to steady myself. Not the best idea. I squealed. My hand went all numb and tingly like it had been poisoned. I poured some water over it and all seemed fine. A week later part of my hand started to throb. My husband graciously used his first aid skills and found bits of gorse bush spikes in my hand! For a week these little spikes kept making their way to the surface of my hand and often had to be dug out. Even now, nearly a month later, my hand is still sore in places and rough where the spikes were gentle encouraged out. But it made me think about how like life this is.
clap hands down for up to 50 clicks. But as you read you’ll see if is from something that is embedded in my childhood that is having an affect on me many years in the future.
Someone once said you need 10 encouraging comments to balance out one bad one. And also that it is easier to pull someone down and off a chair than it is to pull someone up on to it. Maybe that is why the negative, painful things get lost in our skin and then worm their way to the surface? But actually, on a positive finish, if we keep to the gorse thorn analogy, then eventually they will work their way to the surface where some kind and gracious person can pull them out for us. [Note I could not pull it out myself because the hand I had used to save myself was the hand I use to do things with]
There is a lot of talk about self-care at the moment and yes it is very important, but what struck me yesterday was how you actually need a level of confidence to be able to care for yourself. I was made aware of this because when I mentioned that I was going to start kick-boxing the response I had hoped for, and needed for my confidence, was “well gone. Good on you” but the response I did get was “what do you want to do that for? It’s violent and dangerous.” Now if I had got that response a couple of years ago I would have not gone to my classes because my confidence would have been knocked, but I am still going to go because my confidence isn’t that fragile now. I am able to step out and do things without the need of full approval. The comments, once I was able to challenge that person, were all valid and made sense but they were not encouraging.
can’t they get out of there?” “Why don’t they care for themselves?” But they can’t. They need someone to say encouraging things to them. I have a friend who works in a women’s support group and one of the things she says they try to do is to make the atmosphere as loving and accepting of the women as they are as possible. This is something we should do for all people – accept them as they are not as they should be. Even if we think as they should be would be a much better place. We need to give people encouragement so they can have the self-confidence to look after themselves.
think, giving and giving to someone else. But, I think, it means saying “if I’m an ok person then my neighbour is an ok person, if I can be kind and have self-care for me then I can be kind and care for my neighbour.” Or to look at another often misunderstood Bible verse about turning the other cheek. That again wasn’t about being abused and downtrodden but was about saying “the law says it is ok to slap my right cheek but I give you my other cheek which by law you are not allowed to slap. Will you do that too?” It is about being strong enough to stand up to justice not to lay down and be beaten. It is about self-care not humiliation. It is about self-care and humility rather than putting yourself last and being humiliated.
what other people approve of.
