I am hearing from quite a few friends with parents in their 80s who need more and more care, who are not telling the full truth as to what they need, and in some cases the parents have been cancelling the care their children have fought hard to obtain. . A couple of these friends have said their parents are saying they can do things when the only way they can do these things if when their children help them.
When I hear the same thing more than once I start to ask myself what is going on. What is God saying through this? And I believe it is something we all need to ponder on.
The words that jumped into my head were – “a lack of humility at accepting help”, “not being willing to accept the situation” and “wanting things to be as they used to be.”
All of which, I believe, for not just elderly but all of us, as very valid things to want.
Thinking through how much has changed during this global pandemic and yet so many are fighting hard to get things back to how they were. We are not accepting that things have changed, more than we will admit.
2020 was the year of perfect vision and, I believe that 2021 is the year when things cannot be swept under the carpet. We cannot go back to how things were. I believe it is why the Harry&Meghan interview and Piers Morgan walking off the set of GMB had to happen this year – to show that Black Lives Matters opened the door but now we need to make the change.
But are we humble enough yet to ask for and accept help – from those who know better and change things better? With this I would say, are we willing to ask God in to all situations? And not just try and get church back to as it was.
Are we willing to accept the situation – that we live in a world of injustice and racial prejudice where too often white middle class males can bully others? Are we willing to really look and really learn?
Are we willing to stop wanting things as they used to be and really, really change? Are we willing to sort out the social injustices of this world even if it makes our lives different or do we just want someone else to change?
This pandemic, like the ageing of many of my friends parents, has shown fault lines in what we used to take for granted.
When this pandemic passes, no matter what we would like to think, things are not going to go back to 2019 ways of life, and yet so many churches and other institutions are trying to get back to something similar to what was. Things will be different! Some places are accepting that things will be different and, like a pub near us are redesigning how thing will look.
We need to be looking for something different, something that will work in whatever our life situation is in the coming years. We need to stop talking about the “new normal” and start asking what the future will be. Like with these elderly parents who are understandably struggling with their new situations, so we need to look clearly at our new situation and see what support structures we need to put in place and make sure we are not in denial as to what the situations now look like.