Tag: truth

Categories
joy truth

Gifts of …

part two of thoughts from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe Musical

https://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/narnia-peters-susans-lucys-father-137608235

Father Christmas gives the Pevensie children gifts which he says are gifts of “joy and truth” – which is interesting as they are weapons but I’m not going down that one. Though after reading Richard Rohr’s latest about how direct non-violent action is about

redistribut[ing] the tension that is already there and puts it back where it belongs—at the source.

https://cac.org/daily-meditations/peacemaking-is-not-niceness/

maybe swords and arrows are a good representation of joy and truth but also of hope, peace and freedom?

But these gifts need to be used. Peter couldn’t kill the wolf if he kept his sword in his scabbard. Lucy couldn’t heal unless she used drops of her potion. In Prince Capsian the children couldn’t have come back if the horn had not been blown.

I believe all of us have been given gifts to make this world a freer, more peaceful, more joyful, safer place and yet too often there is the cry of “why don’t they do something” when it could be us.

Ok so I’m not going to be Prime Minister or anything major in business, in technology, on leadership worldwide, but I can via using my gifts of encouragement, of writing, of being able to chat to people, change one person at a time, who would then go on to change someone else and so on and so forth.

It is said there are only six degrees of separation between one person and the next – ie that each of us are only six people away from connecting with each other. And some of us are even closer. My next-door neighbour was telling me how when she was visiting a new friend she looked at her wedding photo and saw one of her close friends on that photo. Turns out my neighbour’s friend had been close to her new friend when her new friend got married.

So think this through – this means that each of us are six people or less, away from someone of influence. So if we are kind and helpful to the person in the park, they can take that kindness and encouragement to the next person in their sphere and so on. Very much the change the world one starfish at a time [this is an interesting read because it talks of the origins of this story too!]

So today I pledge to go out and use my gifts of chat, of encouragement and of words to help those in my sphere to know freedom from fear, know hope, know peace, know joy and trust. And from there to be able to fully live their lives as they are called to do so they can use their gifts for joy, trust, hope, peace and freedom.

Categories
freedom unite

What Would You Unite For?

On the last day I drove my car [even though I didn’t at that time know it was the last day] I went to see a matinee of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. It is story I’ve got a lot of affinity with because I read it many times to my children when they were little and then played Mrs Beaver in a Bath City Church version twelve years ago.

The musical is great, though challenging at the beginning because the Pevensie children are all played by actors with dark skins which got me thinking about how that could have been possible. We’ve all just assumed they were white. Although it does say Lucy has fair hair so …. But it is good to be challenged to rethink what we’ve just taken for granted.

From the musical came a few questions I’ve been pondering. One of which relates back to the Unite marches and the division that could be seen there.

There is a point in it that they talk of Freedom from the White Witch. The White Witch is seen as bad because she makes it “winter but never Christmas”. But interestingly she has a large following who don’t seem to be following her through fear but for other reasons we never get to know.

I wonder, if we really talked to those people on the marches, instead of just presuming we know what they think, but get allowed to look through their Truth window what we would really see.

Over the weekend we chatted with some lovely friends and we got on to the empowered/powerless talk and the “why don’t they just get a job?”. We are all educated, all well read, all reasonably confident. We’ve all been willing to get on and do and we see our kids getting on and doing. Theirs are 10 years younger but still you can see how they deal with life. My daughter is going through a tough time at the moment but she is proactive and walking through it. They, and we, are all empowered people. We would all probably unite behind someone who would give everyone their freedom, support all, bring everyone “up” in the world.

Yet I look at a friend’s family who are addicts, keep getting in trouble with the Police, keep waiting for someone to help them up but are not able to do it themselves. They are, for whatever reason, powerless. I could see them uniting around someone who would tell them they are in the situation they are in because it is someone else’s fault.

But then on Sunday I went back to church for the first time in ages [I have popped in and out but this felt like a coming back] and during a very interesting sermon one of the things that struck me was, firstly the whole thing of knowing Jesus, but more importantly than that it was knowing that we were loved and accepted just as we are. And we need to know that deep deep in ourselves before we take it out to others. This, I believe, is where true empowerment comes from. Yes many are blessed/lucky to have it within themselves and to know, whether through understanding parents, friends, or healing, that they are accepted powerful human beings. But I think, even those who lead and look powerful are deep inside hurting and are not really and truly free.

But how do we know we are loved? I think too often the Church sees love as the congregation doing things, not of being and being accepted but of doing things for the Church and for God. But I think we need to, as Christine Sine said Slow Down a bit and see the wonder, the wonder not just around us but within us. Each of us are amazingly created people if we only believe that, if we are only bold enough to let others see our Truth window, for us ourselves to see our own Truth window.

Here’s a poem for Christine that talks of slowing down, of seeing the wonder. And as she says it is seeing the pain and suffering as well as the breathtaking beauty. 

Walking in the fastest pace for noticing
Slow down,
Walking is the fastest pace,
For noticing,
For paying attention,
To the pain of our suffering world
And the breathtaking beauty
Of its wonder. 
Slow down,
Look, listen, touch,
Anchor yourself to the earth.
Absorb the input of your senses,
The details that speak
Of your aliveness,
In a world that seems consumed
By death.
Slow down,
Hold onto the sacrifices
Of love and compassion,
Be generous,
Embrace diversity.
Sit in awe and wonder
Of the One 
Who is making all things new. 

Christine Sine - Meditation Monday [22nd September 2025]

So how do we unite for Freedom? I think, we need to know we are loved and accepted for who we are not what we do, and need to slow down, see the wonder within and without, and work out what Freedom really means to us.

Categories
truth vulnerable

Truth Window

For a while, but definitely since the “Unite the Kingdom” marches in London on Saturday, I’ve been wanting to write a post with my thoughts around it. Then this morning I read this great piece by Messy Nessy about the 13 Things they’d found on the internet recently and the first one, the Truth Window, jumped out at me.

A truth window is an opening in a wall surface, created to reveal the layers or components within the wall. A small section of a wall is left unplastered on the interior, and a frame is used to create a window which shows only straw, which makes up the inside of the wall. The possible vulnerability of a truth window to moisture intrusion is sometimes raised as a concern.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_window

For me it is that idea of being able to see what something/someone is made of and this idea of being vulnerable that I found exciting and interesting and much needed. We all need to know what is really going on inside people, inside ourselves, and be willing to be vulnerable both by what we show and what we see. Too often all we see, and all we show, are those outer walls that we have build and thickened and made strong because we think it makes us safe when it is our vulnerability with each other that truly makes us safe and truly makes us united.

I hope as I share on here and on my Substack I show a little of my truth window, my vulnerability. But also I hope I am willing to notice other people’s truth windows and see what they are really made of inside and not what they have plastered themselves over with in the hope of staying hidden and supposedly safe.

Categories
Temptations Wilderness

How Do We Know It Is True?

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’m ploughing my way through The Bible Society’s Lent course Ploughing not because it isn’t great but because I’m not great at having to do things daily. But I love the way things get highlighted for me.

Yesterday was Jesus in the wilderness and what struck me, especially as a storyteller, and having read something about a new book about some Christian movement being accused of exaggerated over the top retelling of tales, is how do we know these things really happened???

Now Jesus doesn’t strike me as someone who would have boasted about his 40 days in the wilderness, or boasted about how he dissed the devil. So how did the writers of the three gospels it is featured in know?

It is a bit like the angel talking to Mary or Mary’s song to Elizabeth or many other things that happen with just the person concerned and a godly presence or in the Temptations a not-godly presence. We don’t know. Or we know because they probably told someone else.

I’m hoping that maybe when Jesus was walking all those many miles with his disciples, all those miles we are never told what goes on, and all those nights they spent sleeping under the stars, that it came out in bits and pieces, which the storytellers then put into something coherent.

I think in my God journey I am reaching that point where I agree with this quote

The Bible is a true story but not always factual. The truth of the Bible doesn’t come from the facts of the stories, but rather from the spiritual meaning of those stories. The true ideas the Bible teaches have little to do with history, geology, or any matters of the natural world, but have everything to do with the spiritual world and the things that really matter in our lives.

Amos Glenn, MINemergent: A Daily Communique (March 27, 2012)

Does it really matter how long Jesus was in the wilderness? Or whether the conversation between him and the devil was recorded verbatim? I don’t think so. I think instead of trying to decide if this really happened like this, whether it is the Temptation story or any of the other stories is that we need to ask God what the spiritual truth is behind this.

I do like the idea of Jesus’ follower one evening over supper saying “Go on tell us what really happened after you were baptised. Where did you? What happened?” And Jesus giving what he recalls of that time.

I would love it if he said things like “I was so hungry and knew what I could do but I knew it would be better if I carried on being hungry so I could hear God clearer.” “I know how this story pans out and I know I could make it easier but I know that if I go as the Father and I have planned then it will be better for you.”

I think Jesus responded to those temptations that are so common to us all in the way that is recorded to show he put humankind first and wanted what is best of for us all.

I binged watched “Zero Day”, a latest Netflix series, over the last two days because I was home alone. It is a great US conspiracy series but the bit that struck me, that I think is the truth of all that Jesus did, was when the President says something along the lines of “we were voted in not for what we wanted but for the good of the American people” [I’m not even going to go down the ‘is this happening now?’ route]

These temptations of Jesus, I believe, may or may not have happened, but the story is told to say that often we can do things easier, we can take short cuts, we can find a way that means we don’t get hurt, but in the long run would that really help those people we are called to serve, to be with, to witness to?

I’ll finish with another quote that says so succinctly what I’m saying here, I think,

“You prayed “use me Lord” and thought God was going to put you on a platform to speak or sing. What you didn’t know was that He was going to have you navigating through a bunch of trials so you could bless people with your testimony of resilience and not just your gifts.” -Nate Evans Jr.

Jesus was willing to go through those trials for each one of us and, I think, that is what the story of the Temptations is telling us. And is what we are meant to emulate.

Categories
The Jesus Way truth

I Am The Way, The Truth and The Life – Part Two

Early morning beach walk photographed by myself January 2025

Of course part two is “Jesus is the Truth” but what does that mean in our post modern world?

Again ask different Christian groups, especially on subjects like same sex relationships, sex outside marriage, abortion, even how much and how to tithe, what is the truth that Jesus want for us in these areas, and each group would give different answers.

My friend was telling me the other day how her 11 year old niece is now idenitfying as a boy. That is the truth, they say, about themselves.

In the Alpha booklet it says about intellectual truth [head knowledge] and experiential truth [heart knowledge]. I think even that is open to interpretation since learning all these things through Gabor Mate [Body Keeps The Score], other doctors exploring that field, and through what I’ve learned about myself through QEC and writing my story. Both our intellectual truth and our experiential truth are faulty. They are open to interpretation depending on how we have remember situations, how we’ve dealt with things, what has been hooked on to our DNA, who we are trying to please.

So what does Jesus mean by this?

I think firstly we do need to do work on our own hearts and our own ways of looking at life. I was with a group of people the other day and at one point I took a breath because I realised we were all trying to put our truth forward and our truth, even our truth about how we see Christianity worked out, was all to do with how we had reacted to certain things because of the traumas and worldviews we all had.

An example comes to mind of how, many years ago, at a large charismatic Christian event the speaker said something along the lines of “I can see Jesus wanting to enfold you in his arms”. Well the person I was with walked out. Turned out she’d been abused and the idea of Jesus just randomly coming up and wrapping arms around her frightened her. Now if someone had said Jesus wanted to come and have a gentle chat with her she would have been up for that. I’m sure the speaker would have been very upset to know they had upset someone like that. So again one person’s heart truth is not the same as another’s.

Do I have a rounding-off final paragraph for “what is it Jesus means when he says “I am the truth”?” No I don’t. But what I do think is that we all need to take our hurts and our traumas to God, to Jesus, and be willing to let them take our traumas, etc. We need to let got of our idea of what is truth and what is right because we don’t know because we have all been hurt. And I think once we are ready to do that then we might get close to know what Jesus means when he said “I am the Truth”.

Categories
The Jesus Way Way

I Am The Way, The Truth and The Life – Part One

Near Capel Currig, photographed by myself December 2024

I have the privilege to meet with two 15-16 year old girls in McDonalds on a regular basis to discuss things from the Bible. We’re using the Alpha guide “Why am I here?” as kick-starts to discussions.

We’re starting with the verse

Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life”

John 14:6

One of the sentences in the booklet is “Jesus is the lens through which we see God” but that got me thinking “how do we see Jesus?”

If you listen to the evangelical American right then Jesus is brutal, full of rules and knows best. If you listen to those who have left organised religions then you get a very different picture. But are either “correct2?

My mum sent through a reflection from her vicar for this Sunday and in that he talks of how we need to see God in creation and also in the troubles of the world; in the good, the bad and the inbetween; to see Jesus turning water in to wine and in gifts of the Holy Spirit, which he lists as

Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety, and
the Fear of the Lord.

Jesus is found in the miraculous and the ordinary, the individual and the community.

Interestingly another verse on the first page of the Alpha booklet was

Jesus said, “I am the bread of life.”

John 6:35

And the immediate response from my girls was that Jesus is sustaining and filling.

So if we take their thoughts and other bits from our discussion then, I think, if following Jesus isn’t sustaining and filling is it really the Jesus Way? [and remember that the early followers were called “Followers of the Way” and the term Christian was used as an insult] If following Jesus doesn’t encompass the troubles and the joys of this world is it really the Jesus Way? If following Jesus can’t be done in a group and alone is it the Jesus Way?

So to me when Jesus says “I am the Way” he is talking about a life that is sustainable, filling, can be found in the troubles and the joys, and is something I love to do alone and also love to do with others. To me this is the The Way Jesus talks about here.

Categories
seeing True freedom

Being True to Ourselves

https://www.sidetracked.com/a-delicate-line/

Exhausted but content. As she realises that the complete journey is almost at an end, that she has done it – and on her own terms, at peace with the choices she has made – she feels the bond with this mountain of spirit growing strong.

https://www.sidetracked.com/a-delicate-line/

This article on Sidetracked is amazing. Not just that Anna Tybor climbs the 8th highest mountain in the world without oxygen and then skis back down again collecting all their equipment from the three camps her and her three companions made between base camp and the summit, but it is that she did it on her own terms. She made choices, like not using the oxygen and collecting their detritus which other climbers would not have done, and it is this that give her peace. It would seem that because of this she feels a bond with the mountain. Read the article because this mountain doesn’t work with her on the trip.

Not all of us are called to climb mountains, even little ones, but all of use are much more at peace when we do things on our own terms.

The more I find my true self the more I know what my terms are and the more I can let those things happen not with force but with gentleness because I know it is what I want deep in my heart. Sometimes that might make things harder for me – like with Anna’s thing of clearing up the mountain behind them – but when I go the way I know my heart feels is right then I connect with something higher/greater than me – whether that is God, The Universe, the environment I’m in or the people around me.

I think when we don’t do what we know to be right for us – and again this comes down to seeing ourselves truly and not seeing ourselves as we think others want us to be – we feel a hurt. Often we dismiss this hurt and move on but it stays with us building into something bigger. Then we scream at someone for pulling out in front of us, leaving the top off the toothpaste, etc etc. Often it is that we’ve let those things that aren’t right for us build.

I’ve been running writing workshops for the last 7 1/2 years. Over that time I’ve learned that the ones that work best for the participants are the ones where I am true to myself in them. I run the writing groups that work for me. I do them on my own terms and that gives me peace and causes harmony within the group. When I try to run a group to please someone else then I feel the tension in me and those groups fold.

So practically how can we be true to ourselves and be at peace with our decisions and choices? I will always say that the first way is to get some healing and see what the blocks are that stop us from being true to ourselves, and sometimes that can be not knowing ourselves. Think back to those times when you felt totally at peace and see what you did/didn’t do.

I also think we need to slow down and not just into things. Emails and text messages and phone calls shout at us to do something now but it is ok to wait, to say to the caller “I’ll get back to you” or just leave the text or phone call. I find even if my heart says “yes” I will still wait in case actually I’m going back to people pleasing rather than my own terms.

As a Christian I would say that my final thing with making a decision is that I allow “the peace of God that transcends all understanding to guard my heart and mind” and from there I can go with my peace.

Important note – what I believe to be the right decision is the right decision, the right choice for me, and the more healed I become, the more at peace with myself I become, I can let other people find their own peace and make their own choices on their own terms.

Categories
Love truth

Service

Snowdrops hidden in the woods. Photographed by myself 26th Jan 2024. Spring is coming

What does Service mean? To you? To me?

In Josh Luke Smith’s latest email he says that we all want Meaning. Relationships. Service. I do agree but I think for years I got what service meant wrong. And I think I was encouraged to keep believing in the wrong either because other people had got it wrong or because it supported others.

Before meeting with God thirty+ years ago I pleased myself and I don’t think I really served others. Though I probably did. I worked in hospitality, had friends round for parties, meals, etc. But I thought I was just doing things that everyone did and that was it.

So when I met with God the church talked a lot about service and about serving God. Serving God seemed to mean doing something in church as a volunteer which for me was children or youth stuff. So I was always busy busy in church doing stuff and I would get fed up with it all and that, amongst other things, was what stopped me wanting to attend church. [Yes there are other reasons but I think this whole thing of feeling that to belong I had to be volunteering got me down]

But it wasn’t just church. Lots of places talk about serving which again seems to be doing things for nothing to further that organisation. But now I’m not so sure. And I would say as I read these daily emails I’m not the only one.

I’m not in regular paid work at the moment and will continue like that because I’m 62. That doesn’t mean I’m doing nothing though. But I have realised what I do day in day out is service. From walking my dog, looking after my home and feeding my husband, though to chatting with friends and acquaintances, to running the workshops I do, to reading books, to writing stories people may never read, to writing this blog. All these things are acts of service but, I think, because they are things I enjoy and they are not for some church or other organisation I don’t see them as service.

I am now thinking that service is actually me just being the truest me I am and allowing that to flow into the earth in the only way I can let it. So I clean up my act and get healed so my energy is purer, less polluted, less me expecting something from what I do – which I do wonder if a lot of our “serving” is actually serving our own ego! I listen to my heart, to God, to the Universe, to my gut, and only do what I am at peace with. And through that I am so much more than if I was serving for servings sake.

I believe again it comes back to that whole “Love your neighbour as you love yourself” [or as I like to see it “totally love yourself so you can then love others] and then you are serving in ways that others truly need with no agenda for yourself to be bless. But that does take some work to get to that place, some clearing away of traumas and other crap, and being fully free.

know the truth [about yourself and your motives] and the truth will set you free

John 8:32]
Categories
Ancient Ways walking

Take The Right Path

Taken on this morning’s walk at Abergwyngregen nature reserve by myself

“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls

Jeremiah 6:16

What is the good way to walk? Too often I hear people say that they are at a crossroads and are waiting for God to tell them where to go. The more I go on this God journey the more I think God doesn’t worry too much where I go but how I go.

When the people in the Jeremiah story hear this from God they are not so much in the wrong place but are walking in the wrong way. The “ancient paths” are about walking in truth, in justice, in love, in supporting each other, encouraging each other, looking out for each other, being kind, generous, not being fearful, trusting that God knows the best way.

God doesn’t care what I do or where I go so long as I am walking it out in these ways. Each time I take on more than I should I have become fearful, stopped trusting, and also I get tired and snappy. I’m not being supportive and encouraging to those around me. I slide into wanting to fit in rather than looking for truth and justice. I start moving in logic rather than with my heart. I worry more – about money, about what other people think, about whether I’m “doing the right thing.”

But when I am on those “ancient paths” of truth, justice, love, trust, generosity, am not fearful, etc, then I can hear my heart more, can wander along and look at the flowers, the scenery, hear the birds, hear God, feel free and safe. I can have time to just be rather than to worry about what I’m doing.

Today I had a lovely time. I decided to go on one of my favourite walks. I took photos, enjoyed listening to the dog scampering around, and allowed my heart to chew over something I needed to sort. Interestingly the solution that I felt was not what I expected. But that was because I had let go of my logical side and was into heart mode. I also let go of my plans for after the walk. Usually my “plan” is to go for breakfast and coffee in a cafe after but I just felt my heart tell me to go home. I felt such peace and doing what I believed was the “ancient path” for this morning.

We are always at crossroads. Every moment of every day we have to decide whether to walk out in fear, in logic, in oughts and shoulds, or to walk out in truth and justice and love. And sometimes that can mean doing the self same thing but with a different heart attitude.

I believe it is our hearts that set the energy that buzzes off of us and touches others. What do we want to touch others? What do we want others to touch us with?

Categories
Me Too truth

The Truth Will Set You Free

A view to the Llyn Peninsular taken on a day out with my daughter July 2022

I cried when I heard the result of the RoevWade outcome. How could a country that calls itself civilised take such a backward step? Not only is it saying that women cannot choose but that it is saying women are not able to choose. Then I hear our government saying that abortion doesn’t need to be on The Bill of Rights! Again a major step backwards.

There is that big argument that the child that is aborted could grow up to change the world. Well what if they don’t? What if the child that does not get aborted is brought up in a household on a low income with many different partners in the mother’s life? What if the child is brought up and hated because of what the mother could not do? One cannot talk of “what ifs” when one does not talk about choice.

Did you know it is only recently that Christians believe a person did not become a living being until God breathed life into them at that moment of birth

“I think we know that prior to the Lord putting breath of life into Adam he had a heart, he had a brain with vessels, and these vessels and heart were filled with blood just as the vessels and heart of a fetus are filled with blood. However, Adam did not become a living soul until after the Lord breathed into him the breath of life.

—Robert L. Pettus Jr., MD, As I See Sex Through the Bible, 1973

And “Rabbis have long written that the soul enters the body at birth, with the first breath. For breath is the gift of life from the one who created us. From the God who is both our origin and our destination.”

–

I know medical science can now keep a baby alive from very early in gestation. I have had friends who have been blessed by this new technology. But that was their choice and that choice has effected their lives since.

I have just read a great article by Nadia Bolz-Weber entitled Stories>Opinions [basically our stories are greater than someone’s opinions] In it she tells her own story of her own abortion, which is very similar to mine, except that she did have a partner with her and friends supporting her. For me, I was in an odd place, sleeping around and did not know who had fathered my child. I was, like Nadia, on a low income and also not in a place to have a child. [I once told this story in a Christian youth group and got cross questioned by the young people, which actually was great because it made me think about what I had done, and I know I did the right thing at that moment in time] Would I have been a good mother then? Who knows. But I chose not to be a mother then.

Later I got my life a bit more sorted and have since had two amazing children. Children that actually I would not have had if I had not aborted the earlier one. Strange that. As someone in my writing group once told me “each choice we make determines where we are today.”

Jon Kuhrt wrote a blog piece a while back on Francis Spufford’s book “Perpetual Light”, which is a story about the children that died in a WWII bomb on a Woolworth’s in London, and what their lives would have been like if they had lived. This got me thinking about what my life would have been like if my first child had lived. I don’t know but I know it would be very different and I know I would not have the children I have now, or the husband I have now, or the life I have now. It would have been different.

When people say about the life of the aborted child they never seem to talk about the life of the mother who has that child, or the father who has to decide what he will do. Also too often the mother is seen as the enemy, as a bad person, who isn’t really thinking properly. I do not know of anyone who did not think through their decisions carefully and how it would impact them and their unborn child. It is not a decision to be taken lightly. But then I did not take it lightly to keep my next two babies. But having an abortion is a taboo subject very rarely talked about in Christian circles openly. Why is that? God knows what I’ve done and still thinks I am amazing. I know this because my first God encounter was of being covered in what felt like a warm, visceral glittery substance and being told I was loved just as I was – unmarried mum who’d had an abortion. I’m not sure what my church would have thought of me if they’d known. I wonder if I will now be asked to stop helping with the youth group that I volunteer at now?

Please can we stop being ashamed of what we’ve done. Please can we start being open about every part of our lives and not just keep God for the clean and tidy bits and pieces. God is the God of the whole of my life – the good and the bad, the times I’ve got it right and the times I’ve got it wrong – and I am loved by God no matter what. That is totally amazing.

And now let us stand together and support those who have had an abortion, who are thinking of having abortions, and also those who think the whole this is an anathema. We are all made in the image of God no matter what we’ve done or what we think. And are loved because of and in spite of all that.