Tag: trust

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higher power Trust God

Praying About Elections

Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

It is interesting the response from the losing side when there is a referendum or an election. In the UK I’ve heard calls for proportional representation, or after the Brexit vote how it shouldn’t have been a 50/50 split, and today was reading about the way Trump has won in the US.

Democracy in the modern world is still newish. Yes it comes from Ancient Greek but really that was mainly the elite in the city state. And until recently most of the Western world only let those who owned property and were male vote, or over a certain age. Voting for every adult no matter what their status in the UK only came into being in 1969 – a mere 55 years ago! So we are all still new at it.

I’m picking up lots of newsfeeds, etc from people I know or know of, in the US and they are depressed, upset, confused and more. But then I am only reading ones from people who are like me. I’m suspecting that, if I followed those who did vote Trump I would hear a very different story. I do need to remember that what I hear is only from those I follow who are more like me than not.

One thing though I have been thinking about is prayer. Now I know lots of people who were praying for the US elections. I’m not sure how many were praying “let your will be done, Lord”, how many were praying “God protect our land” or something similar or how many had their own agenda. And I am sure that people on both political camps were praying too. Does this mean God was being dragged back and forth not sure what to do because Democrats were asking for a different result to Republicans?

But this got me to thinking, if we pray for something, are we trying to manipulate God to do our will or are we trusting they will do as they know to be best because they can see the bigger picture.?

If the Creator of the Universe can see the beginning and the end and middle and whatever then do we have to trust, especially when we pray for big things, that all will be as it will be.

How often have you or I prayed for something and it hasn’t worked out as we’d like, even to the point of someone dying, and some well-meaning, slightly insensitive Christian says “that must be God’s will”?

Henri Nouwen talks for how when we pray we shouldn’t come with a list of instructions for God but should come with a list of problems, issues and worries and then spend our prayer time handing them over to God and trusting that God will do as God will do and that our role is just to love and trust our Creator more and more.

So with that in mind, even though I do find the US results strange and unsesttling, though not unexpected, instead of being angry I am willing to spend time in prayer and be asking “what are you trying to show us, God?” and also moving into a place where I can trust that a Higher Power knows so much more than little old me.

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hard outer shell made good

And God said it was Very Good [Gen 1:31]

This dog totally believe he is good, where he is is good and life is just good, especially if I am with him. Photographed by myself at Newborough beach, Anglesey October 2024

Renly believes that wherever I am is good and that he is good and that life is good. Did you know God is omnipresent which means God is with us all the time? So surely we could then at least believe that we are good – very good.

So Genesis 1:31 says God made humankind and said humankind is good; very satisfactory, our best, pleasant, interesting, better than anything else we’ve made. [paraphrase]

Meaning of “Good” thank to https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/good

very satisfactory, pleasant, interesting, better, best

But do we believe it? Do we even get taught it in many of the churches we’ve been to? Too often we get taught that we are sinful, that unless we accept Jesus [whatever that might really means] we are condemned to eternal damnation, and need to repent.

I will go back to the whole idea that sin is just missing God’s mark, which we all do, but isn’t about not being made good.

Sometimes, I think, good can appear a bit of a weak word. A bit like nice. A word that is used more when things are not bad but not great, which is why I’ve added in the Cambridge Dictionary definition.

I think God looks at us and when they say good they mean more on the amazing side of ok than the “just got through” side. How about if we looked at that verse and realised that when God says good it means that we are pleasant, interesting, very satisfactory, the best for the Creator of The Universe to want to hang out with. And not just when God first made Adam and Eve but when God made each and every one of us!

But too often we get caught with the things we’ve done wrong, the hurts we’ve endured, the traumas we’ve picked up, the intergenerational stuff that hasn’t been cleared, and we look at ourselves through all this hard outer shell stuff and we forget that we were made good.

I also think it is this hard outer shell that can make us do horrid hurtful things to ourselves and to others.

I think the amazing thing about healing and learning to trust and hang out with God – whether this is through QEC, Sozo, Freedom in Christ, other trauma healing stuff from wherever, hanging out with friends who see through our hard shell and enjoy being with us, or even a phrase or sentence that slides into our hearts and chips away at that shell – is that we do see that shell for what it is; something that kept us safe from stuff that was going on around us but it is not us. And we will be safer without it.

So as we see the shell for what it is and even get to chip away at it we learn to see ourselves as was originally intended; without the “good/bad” judgements we and others place on us; without those epigenetic tags our ancestors and ourselves picked up; without the mistakes we have made. We start to see ourselves as good, very satisfactory, interesting, pleasant to be with, the best.

And I for one think that if the Creator of the Universe thinks I am good then who am I to argue????

Categories
prayer Trust God

LET GO and Let God!

I’ve been staying in County Durham, UK for a few days helping friends clear out their loft as they prepare to move. It also meant staying with my little dog’s bestest friend ever. These two dogs have loved each other since they were puppies. Even if they go over a year without seeing each other they greet each other like long lost friends and just want to hang out together. This does mean that they want to get up early to be together all day so for four mornings I was getting a gentle knock on the door by Djola asking if Renly could come out to play. Of course I indulged and we were walking at 6am most mornings.

Well one morning we were walking down the path when I could hear mooing. A load of bullocks/heifers/young cows had broken out of their field and were moodling about in the wood beneath the path. Some were starting to attempt the climb up from the woods to the path we were on. Anyway I prayed and asked God is they could sort out these cows so it was safe for us when we came back.

Half an hour later we’re on our return journey and 5 cows, one a very large black one, were on the path. So I prayed again! As I walked back towards the village the cows stayed in front of us. I was concerned because I was walking them towards the village and the road. But I also had two dogs with me, and because the footpath is right by my friend’s house I didn’t have leads for either dog!

So I’m praying but also doing what may of us often do when we pray, thinking through solutions that I could do. Interesting how we do that – say we are handing problems to the God who created the WHOLE Universe but then spend lots of headspace and energy trying to think what we could do. Not really handing it over, is it?

The cows are almost at the turning to the track behind my friend’s house when this man appears round the corner with his dog and phone to his ear. He starts to herd the cows back in my direction. I grab both dogs so none of the animals, cows or dogs, get spooked. The cows give us a wide berth and skitter back to where they came from.

The man says “I’ve just phoned the farmer” and we have a chat about cows and that they all seem to be out and he says they’ve probably broken down the fence again.

When we went out in the afternoon for a walk there was no sign of the cows. Problem fully sorted. That local man and his phone were the answers to my prayers.

Simple.

Hopefully that will help me learn to let go totally when I do pray, not hold on a wee bit and see what I can do, and allow God to find the answers as they know best.

Bullocks escaped

Prayer answered

God is amazing

Maybe not quite a haiku but it’ll do!

Categories
faith freedom heart

Faith Without ….

This dog always has faith that I will be there for him. Photographed by myself June 2024

Of course our Upper Room group gathering was awesome with 5, then an unexpected arrival of one who said she might not make it. We talked of all sorts but two things remained with me. One is around thanking/gratitude, which I will try to do tomorrow, and the other was the verse from James

…. faith without works is dead

James 2:26

This came from a discussion about doing and what should we be doing and can we say No and the whole “yoke of slavery” verse that I was chewing over. If we take James 2:26 literally then if we aren’t doing and working then we don’t have faith, surely?

But how does that fit into the verses about resting in God? What is this verse really means “faith without outworkings is dead” – and those outworkings being trusting in God for all things and not having to do everything for everyone ourselves?

What if it is about showing we have faith by not worrying, not getting anxious, not fearing anything, knowing and showing we are loved unconditionally, being open and honest without fear, walking in freedom as I’ve mentioned in previous posts? What if this verse on faith has nothing to do with what we do but has all to do with how we are inside? All to do with the energies we give out to others?

If I truly have faith then I will do and not do what I believe God has for me to do and not do.

God is amazing because I’ve been pondering this post for a couple of days and it seemed to get into a bit of a rant about people doing too much and not resting, etc so which I could feel in my heart was not right. So this morning whilst I was walking the dog I asked God how they wanted this post to go and God reminded me of this song by Bananarama and Fun Boy Three song says “It Ain’t What You Do It’s The Way That You Do It! with that lovely line “and that’s what gets results”

I’ve just listen to the song and it has brought a tear to my eye. It is all about how the heart is and how we need to know the whys of why we do things. If we go in with the right energy, the right heart attitude, leaving our issues, our motives, our needs behind then we can truly do what God wants. Then we are free from that yoke of slavery but if we do good deeds with the wrong motives, with the wrong heart, with the hope that it meets our needs then we won’t get the God results, or as Isaiah says somewhere “our deeds will be like filthy rags“

So it is not about whether you’re busy or resting or saying yes or saying no but it is the way that you do it that will get the results God wants. If our hearts are right then people will look at us and say “wow! whatever they have I want because they know the why of what they are doing”. Then we will be free from that yoke of slavery and able to worship God in Spirit and in Truth!

https://dailyverses.net/

Once again the Bible and a song from beyond the Bible working in harmony! Isn’t God just amazing!!!

Now play the song from the above link and let the words wash over you 🙂

An abridged version of the lyrics courtesy of https://genius.com/

It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it
And that’s what gets results

It ain’t what you do it’s the time that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the time that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the time that you do it
And that’s what gets results

You can try hard (aah-ahh-ah)
Don’t mean a thing (aah-ahh-ah)
Take it easy (aah-ahh-ah)
And then your jive will swing (aah-ahh-ah)

It ain’t what you do it’s the place that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the place that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the place that you do it
And that’s what gets results

I thought I was smart but I soon found out
I didn’t know what life was all about
But then I learnt, I must confess
That life is like a game of chess

It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the time that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the place that you do it
And that’s what gets results

Categories
house of the lord joy peace

The House of The Lord

View from Y Shed, Melidin August 2024

I’ve been pondering “And I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever” [Psalm 23:6] ever since writing my last thoughts on Psalm 23 and the idea that Paradise is here and now if we just look around and see it.

It’s been a tough couple of weeks with family stuff and things going on – and moving into a busy period but, as I said in Control, I do have to just love on those round me, know I am loved unconditionally by The God who created the Universe, and just let what will be will be.

Then there have been some posts from Henri Nouwen about how so many things we have been taught – like peace of the Lord, joy of the Lord etc – are up to us to manifest when actually they are gifts from God and that we have to trust that we have received them.

So our role isn’t to manifest them but to trust that peace/joy/love is there for us “to claim even in the midst of our moments of despair.”

So in the midst of all this that is going on, even when I am sad, disappointed, upset, even angry, I have to believe that I have already received this overwhelming peace and overwhelming joy and I just need to trust that I can place all of this in God’s hands without worry.

Ok so that doesn’t stop me feeling those emotions but “an emotion is an emotion and then it passes“. So I let the emotion go through my body, acknowledge and accept it rather than think that as a “good Christian” I shouldn’t be feeling things like this to those I’m supposed to love.

So what if the House of the Lord is actually living in that “Peace that transcends all understanding” [Philippians 4:7] and resting in the “Joy of the Lord that is my strength” [Nehemiah 8:10]? What if the “place Jesus has prepared for us“[John 14:3] is here and now and not some unknown place after we’ve died? or what if it is both???? – accepting that we won’t live forever!

Perhaps this is the whole thing of why we need to meet with Jesus this side of death so we can live out our hard work human lives with all their ups and downs and hassles and joys and hard bits and easy bits and relationships within the House of the Lord walking in God’s peace and joy no matter what shit is going on around us?

Categories
control freedom peace

Control

Dog on a train to Cardiff as always giving me all control – photographed by myself July 2024

I said I was going to come back from Cardiff and start on a series around the Aramaic version of the Lord’s Prayer but …. that was me making a plan and trying to be in control. Nothing is coming and if I wrote it would be dull without life. So I’m not doing it.

This, and a recent incident, got me thinking about control – controlling others, controlling outcomes, keeping control of ourselves.

Whenever I think of control the Gossip’s Standing in the way of Control song slides through my mind. Lots of crashing guitars, angsty singing over mega meaningful lyrics.

But what does standing in the way of control look like in my life?

Well, I had a recent incident where I had come up with a plan to make everyone happy on a family weekend then one part of the team refused to submit to my plan. Yes that’s now how I see it. They would not submit and say what a great plan it was. I know them well enough that I could have used all those old techniques to manipulate and guilt trip them into my way of control. Instead, because I am walking through this healing journey, which includes letting go of controlling situations and controlling others and stopping letting old patterns and ways control me, I had to accept this person’s decision, lovingly release my plan, and actual stand in the way of my control.

Ok so it wasn’t easy and I had to a lot of realigning and regulating my autonomic nervous system so all the adrenaline was not pushing me to my usual defensive “safe” positions. Of course the old patterns did try to peek out but I have let go of so much through QEC and talking with God that I knew they had been beaten and were just those old pathways not the new green pathways I was now free to walk.

If I am a whole person, loved unconditionally by God/The Universe, and can make my own decisions by listening to my heart, then I have to trust that others can also make their own decisions whether I like them or not.

Interestingly even though there is a little sadness in my heart I feel at total peace about the coming event. There is no angst within me at all. And, from what I remember, when I have had a tightly controlled plan for a family type event I have felt tense because I then need to coordinate it all. Letting go of control means that I can now just be and let all those I love who will be there just be themselves around me.

I have stood in the way of my own control and it is good. It is freedom. Perhaps it is also another thing to add to the True Freedom post 🙂

Categories
others self

Letting Go Of Self

How many times in a conversation do you get frustrated when you want to unload about something and the other person butts in with their unload? Or how often are you talking with someone and you realise that either they or you have turned it round to self? Or how often do you get upset when things don’t go your way? Or don’t happen as you want them too?

I think one someone dies we grieve for ourselves rather than for them. If someone doesn’t get healed we take responsibility worrying that we didn’t “pray hard enough”.

Each time we do that we are putting “self” , our ego, at the forefront.

How often do I want a dry day, at least for those times when I’m out dog walking without any regard for what my country really needs? Or get narky because a friend is busy when I’d like to see them? Or the traffic is snarled up and I want to get home early?

Jesus tells us to “die to self” – which I think just means letting go of wanting to control the world.

I like to control my world. It makes me feel safe. I’m sure that is the same for all of us. We don’t like to not have a handle of things.

My friend in AA says one of the biggies is when they reach the step that talks about letting go of needing to be in control/letting go of self.

Only when we let go of self and our need to control a situation can we really let God/The Universe/A Higher Power than ourselves into the situation; into our lives.

It is scary letting go of self.

More and more I’m learning to let go of self and let God, but often this means more times I have nothing to do. This is because I don’t go looking for work or actively volunteering for things or even actively finding things to do. I now sit and wait and listen. Though often I spend times distracting myself from the listening by playing games on my phone, reading books, even reading the Bible can be just a distraction to be busy rather than finding what God really wants me to do in that moment.

I think most people are scared to let go and wait and trust in God. I wonder if it is back to that thing of not knowing we are loved unconditionally just for who we are and feeling like we have to work at being loved by God?

One reason I think is that if you aren’t filling your life and your head with other things you get time to ponder and then you see things in the “unseen” world.

Two you have nothing to tell anyone when they ask you “what did you do today?” How often do we all greet each other with “what have you been up to today/yesterday/last week/last month/etc?” Those yearly newsletters which have to put in what we have been up to. It is rare for someone to say “how are you really feeling today?” and really want to listen.

I think that brings us to the third reason why we don’t want to let go of self, of being in control. Don’t want to wait. If we stop rushing around being busy – which I think is what holding on to self equates to – then we get to think how we really feel about a situation, our lives, our towns, our relationships, our relationship with God. And then maybe we might see the gaps, what’s lacking.

Maybe too by letting go of self we won’t just be putting God/The Universe/A Higher Power first but will start putting each other first.

What would a conversation look like if I bit my tongue and really listened to the other person?

What could the world look like if we took the time to really hear what each other was saying without thinking how that relates to us and jumping in with our anecdote?

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goodness mercy psalm 23

Psalm 23 – part 8

“Come on. Let’s go this way!” Photographed by myself July 2022

Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,

Psalm 23:6a

One of the things public speaking teaches is that if you make something visual people will remember it. Well about 20 years ago at Cross Rhythms Festival, even though I don’t remember who the speaker was I do remember the great skit they did about this verse.

The speaker got two young people from the crowd up and got them to follow him. He called one Goodness and the other Love or Mercy [some bible translations have “surely goodness and mercy will follow me …”]. These two people followed him as he wandered round the tent where we were gathered. His point was that whether we went, the right place or the wrong place, going where God wants us or off doing our own thing, God has promised that goodness and love/mercy will be right behind us.

Often we don’t realise it because we don’t look. We career about on our own thinking we are totally alone and that it is all up to us. Or we are so fearful to “get it right” so we get God’s goodness and mercy that we don’t realise they are with us all the time anyway.

How much different would your life, would my life, be if we truly believed that whatever we did and wherever we went God’s goodness and love/mercy were hot on our tails, were there ready for us to fall into, were there to protect and support us?

All we would have to do is stop, rest by those green pastures – because often even though God leads us into those green pastures and beside still waters we don’t see them because we are rushing past to the “next thing”. What if we stopped and let God’s goodness and love/mercy hang out and minister to us?

So first we need to believe they are there. How do we know that? Well … because God promised us. Maybe we don’t believe really that God promised it to us too. Maybe we think we need to do something more to get God’s goodness and love/mercy and probably also God’s unconditional love????

It all goes back to that thing that if you don’t believe God loves you unconditionally and you don’t believe God has your back – which we see here God does because it says his goodness and love/mercy follow us, which means they watch our backs. Duh! – but if you don’t believe that then you maybe don’t notice the still waters, the green pastures and don’t believe that all that love and goodness are with you in those dark places?

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fearful psalm

Psalm 23 – part 5

LLandulas beach 1st July 2024 Photographed by myself

This little tree appeared after a landslide took down the nearby cliff which had two large conifers on it. The thought is that this was a seed from one of them. When we had huge storms here in April all this coast was under water, with the stones being thrown on to the coastal path. This little tree, because it is on its own, was unprotected, covered in sea water, and yet it has survived.

Do you sometimes feel like that little tree? Not in your true environment, alone, drowning, covered in something that is toxic to you? That dark valley place? Well as we saw in part 4 God understands and David says in his psalm

I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

I’m not sure about you but I fear lots of things. I know I shouldn’t because I’m comfortably off, have my own home, have enough money to not only eat well but to go away on trips, to run a car, to have friends round, to go out for meals. I have a good husband that I get on with and we can have a laugh. I get to write, to walk my dog safely, and to grow as me. I live in a safe neighbourhood where crime is reported because it is rare. But I do fear.

I can fear not being liked, not getting these posts “right”, not having “enough”, worry about my children, my mum, my in-laws, my friends, what I should be doing with my life. Sometimes I even wake up in the night worrying about what to cook for eat and will those eggs have gone off! Oh yes that’s a genuine one.

But God says do not fear many many times in the Bible and here it comes right after walking through that dark valley, which is much worse than what am I going to do with the eggs in my fridge!

I know when I fear that I am not trusting God – whether that is with the eggs in my fridge or my children and the things they go through. If I fear then I am trying to hold on to control. I am trying to keep things in my ways of doing and being and not handing them to God who can then do as God knows best.

Why then follow the fear line with the rod and staff line? Now I’ve heard all sorts of sermons about the rod and staff being discipline and guidance but this morning, whilst I was pondering what to write, I felt God say that the “rod and staff” are the tools of a shepherd’s trade. No shepherd in the Middle East would go out without his rod and staff.

This line is to remind us that God always goes out with the tools of their trade – whatever that happens to be at any given moment. We aren’t always compared to sheep in the Bible. Sometimes people are compared to fish, coins, eagles, wheat, weeds, etc. and the tools of the farmer, fisherman, housewife, etc are all different to those of the shepherd but God is more than able to change tools as the metaphors change.

But in all this I have to remember that if I am fearful then I am not trusting God and probably not believing God loves me unconditionally. or that God knows what the right tools for this situation are. Perhaps when I am fearful I am trying to be god????

Categories
death grief psalm

Psalm 23 – part 4

Photographed by myself Jan 2022. A lonesome tree on the top of the hill

How often do we feel like that when we are going through something awful? Something tough? Like we are exposed and alone?

He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley

Psalm 23:3b-4a

Do you know we only split the Bible into chapters and verses because some bishop decided it? The divisions started to happen in the 9th Century but really came into their own in the 13th Century. David, when he wrote this Psalm would have just written it as a poem with the lines as they are but to be read as whole.

For some reason this jumped out at me – of us being guided along the right paths for God but that sometimes they would lead us through a dark valley – through the valley of the shadow of death, as it says in the NKJV. For those who have gone through dark times, whether the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a redundancy, a lost opportunity, etc, it can feel like walking in the shadow of death. I believe any time of grief is a time of death – death of a dream as much as loss of a person.

Someone I care about deeply is going through a dark time but, standing back a bit, I can see that if they don’t go through this dark valley they will never be freed from certain things. This dark time for them will cleanse them.

I can’t find it but in one of this last week’s Henri Nouwen meditations he talks of how grief can be a place of growth. In Richard Rohr’s blog someone talks of how in our culture we try to ignore grief and dark times and run away from them. That we just want to get over it. But here if we run these verses together and don’t allow for the verse break it says that God, our Shepherd, will guide us this way. So does this mean that it is good for us?

Perhaps this is why we we are lead in those calm quiet places first – so we are refreshed but also have developed our relationship with God. Dark times are hard if we don’t know we are loved unconditionally and don’t know that God “has our back” so to speak. We need to get to that place where we can trust that we are being led – that we will be led through not left there. But that in the going through we will …

I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4b

Maybe then we can support and lead others through their valley of the shadow of death at God’s pace rather than rush them through because we don’t like them being sad and depressed.

God lets people grieve so should we – and that includes ourselves.