Tag: prayer

Categories
faith growing

Mustard Seed

From benjaminharrismusings.blogspot.com and https://vamosarema.com/

On Sunday our vicar gave us all a small packet with a mustard seed in and used it to expanded on the story Jesus said about having faith the size of a mustard seed.

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:20 and Luke 17:6

And we were all told to take this home, plant it and see how big it had grown by Christmas.

I worried the whole time I was going to lose it so as soon as we’d had lunch, and before taking the dog for a walk, I made sure mine was safely planted and watered.

When I pondered my attitude to this, it reminded me of when I first really met with God and how I knew from that moment on the The Creator of The Universe loved me unconditionally even though I was a single mum and not living the best life. The faith I got from that moment I was terrified of losing and so I did everything I could to water it, to grow it, to nurture it – reading my Bible, praying, going to Christian conferences, reading Christian books, going to church, being involved with church, going on mission, etc, etc. Ok there have been times when I haven’t done any of those things and have wombled on with God in a contented way still. I have never lost that faith, have seen it grow, have seen it tested, have seen it wobble, but, for the most part, have always trusted.

So I got to wondering what other people might have done with their mustard seed representing faith. [this is all speculation and not about anyone specific]

  • some left it at church – which is often where we can all leave our faith and do not take it home and use it at home.
  • some have it in their pockets still and will find it on and off when they put that coat on again – again a bit like we do with faith and find it and then forget it, then find it again but never really take it out.
  • some will keep it in their “going to church jacket” and will bring it out each time they are at church – which again we are all great at doing, of having great faith when we are with a company of other believers but struggle when we are on our own.
  • some will have lost it as they walked home – which again is what happens to faith often. The hassles of life get in the way and we lose our faith that God can.
  • some will have seen it as just another daft thing and won’t have engage with it – again that is what can happen when we talk about things like God working all things to the good of those who love him [Romans 8:28]. It can seem a daft thing and so we ignore it.
  • some will plant their seed but then will forget about it and it won’t grow, or it will grow a little bit but won’t be nurtured.
  • some might expect someone else to plant it for them, a spouse, friend or someone else they know – and again we all too often lean into someone else’s faith rather than our own. It is important to have friends with faith around us to hold us up but we cannot rely just on their faith. We do need our own too.
  • And some won’t have believed in it at all and found it all total nonsense.

Interestingly I was reading that the mustard seed is an easy seed to grow. It doesn’t need much to grow from this tiny seed to a plant that you can then use the leaves of in all sorts of cuisine. Though interestingly the article also says that economically there is no reason to grow mustard seeds, although the novelty value is good – being able to produce a jar of your own mustard to share with friends. Again this is an interesting point to take back to our mustard seed of faith. How many of us think what’s the point? Nothing will change, nothing will happen, or even “I can do it quicker myself”.

Maybe the “novelty value” has something to say to us about our faith, and about that inner feeling of connection with something higher than us.

Faith is the moving of those mountains of sickness, of poverty, of inequality, of war and aggression. But it is also that inner peace, inner, tranquillity, inner joy, inner trust, inner knowing that I am not alone, that I am love unconditionally by the Creator of The Universe. And that with that tiny bit of faith I can grow, I can flourish and maybe it is because of my faith that the birds can find shelter?

 Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Luke 13:18-19

Or as David Marks says in Garden Focused –  key reasons for growing mustard in the UK is to use it as a green manure on the soil. Now I’m all up for being a fertiliser for all things God!

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Categories
ego Trust God

Prayers or Wishes?

A selection of pictures related me driving – perfect parallel park, Luton van, a couple of walks early in the morning just me and my dog, and then my writing retreat week

I went to a local opticians this past week and she did very through tests on my eyes and found that I might not have great peripheral vision. It is not confirmed as yet. I need some more tests. But for now I cannot drive which has come hard because I so love driving. But in the grand scheme of things it isn’t the end of the world.

What has amazed me is some people’s reactions. Most have been really kind and supportive but from one person I got that I needed to be positive and keep saying that there is nothing wrong with my eyes and get rid of all negative believes that my eyesight is bad. This is hard one because I have always been really shortsighted until 13 years ago when I had lens replacements and went from a minus 21 to minus 0.5 which was totally amazing. But my cornea are stretched and are the cornea of an almost blind person!

I sort of know that if I tell this that my eyes are still bad she will tell me that I didn’t do my statements correctly or didn’t believe enough. That somewhere along the way it will be my fault.

I remember my father-in-law saying that, after his major traffic accident where he suffered brain injuries, people would pray for him and, because he didn’t get better, they would say it was his fault for not believing, or that there was sin in his life. Not helpful at all.

Even though the person who told me to believe in the healing isn’t talking about prayer to me it feels like a similar idea, that there is that potential that if we wish it/believe it hard enough then it will all sort out. And then if it doesn’t sort out then it is our fault. It is all very ego-centric

I was very pleased to come across this phrase this morning in Richard Rohr’s daily meditations which seems very apt

….that the greatest enemy of ordinary daily goodness and joy is not imperfection, but the demand for some supposed perfection or order. 

https://cac.org/daily-meditations/the-mystery-of-the-cross/

Ok there is more going in the meditation but this stood out to me. When one does some of these positive statements or healing prayers or whatever one can get into the trap of calling down what we see as perfection. Note the “we see as perfection.” For me personally, to have perfect peace with whatever the outcome of these eye tests in a fortnight are is the greatest thing I could get. Yes of course I would love to be driving again, would love that freedom of just taking off and being on a beach to watch the sun come up, to pop to the Farmer’s market without having to get a lift, etc, etc. But if that doesn’t happen I want to be able to be so at peace I can feel it in my bones.

So I will ask God for my eyesight to be ok and to be able to drive again because that would be silly not to check in with the Great Creator of the Universe and not ask. And if I wasn’t a Christian I would probably do those positive statements and hope for the best.

But what I want deep down is for this daily goodness, this joy, this peace that passes all understanding, to be settled in my heart no matter what happens.

I’ll post an update in after 28th August to let you know how I get on.

Categories
your best

God notices

Pwhelli beach April 2025

Last week I was on an online writing workshop but had decided to take myself and the dog away, just the two of us, from all distractions.

This morning I listened to the Bible Society’s Lent reading for today. I’d got into listening to it instead of reading it whilst I was away. That way I could eat my breakfast as I listened. It is habit I am trying to keep now I’m back in my study. The reading was from Exodus 37 about Bezalel making the artifacts for the temple which would only be seen by the high priest once a year. The message is

challenges our fast-paced culture, where we tend to rush through tasks and settle for ‘just good enough’ to say it’s done, rather than pursuing excellence in how we work. When something is done for God, it deserves our absolute best in both time and skill. Whether anyone else sees our work or not does not matter. Excellence matters, because God notices and makes note of our integrity. 

A lot of the things we learned during the week long writing workshops was how much of what we do regarding our novels never get seen – not just the first draft but the proposals, etc we have to present to an agent, the planing and thinking around structure, the angst of what to put in and what to leave out. All these hidden things need to be done to make the novel something worth reading.

We also talked about whether we would just write our stories to write our stories or to just share with family and friends or what we’d do.

In my town we’ve just had some finger signposts erected. But unfortunately the contractors who were paid to put them up did not see it as important to do their best. Many of the signs are in the wrong place, pointing the wrong way, or putting things of the town in a different direction. As well as the local tourist board upsetting people by putting the distances in kilometres whilst here in the UK we still work in miles. This is something that is seen but was not done to the glory of the contractors or the tourist board.

But what struck me, whether it is our writing or those myriad of other things we that no one ever knows about, we need to do them to the best we can. We won’t all be Bezalel designing the awesome temple furniture, or the person that designs the noticeable building but we should always do what we do to the unseen who cares for us and wants to see us do our best.

In Beth Kempton’s The Way of the Fearless Writer book she says how just making time to write, for her, makes her a better person to be with once she leaves her study. We all have things that we can give our all to whether that is devotional times, writing, painting, walking, housework, etc, etc, that when we give it our best the rest of the world notices.

So whether you believe in an all seeing God who loves and cares for you unconditionally and wants your best, or that the Universe is watching over you, or just for your own well being, make sure you do everything to your best whether anyone else will ever know or not.

https://firewalkhq.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/dance.jpg

Categories
higher power Trust God

Praying About Elections

Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

It is interesting the response from the losing side when there is a referendum or an election. In the UK I’ve heard calls for proportional representation, or after the Brexit vote how it shouldn’t have been a 50/50 split, and today was reading about the way Trump has won in the US.

Democracy in the modern world is still newish. Yes it comes from Ancient Greek but really that was mainly the elite in the city state. And until recently most of the Western world only let those who owned property and were male vote, or over a certain age. Voting for every adult no matter what their status in the UK only came into being in 1969 – a mere 55 years ago! So we are all still new at it.

I’m picking up lots of newsfeeds, etc from people I know or know of, in the US and they are depressed, upset, confused and more. But then I am only reading ones from people who are like me. I’m suspecting that, if I followed those who did vote Trump I would hear a very different story. I do need to remember that what I hear is only from those I follow who are more like me than not.

One thing though I have been thinking about is prayer. Now I know lots of people who were praying for the US elections. I’m not sure how many were praying “let your will be done, Lord”, how many were praying “God protect our land” or something similar or how many had their own agenda. And I am sure that people on both political camps were praying too. Does this mean God was being dragged back and forth not sure what to do because Democrats were asking for a different result to Republicans?

But this got me to thinking, if we pray for something, are we trying to manipulate God to do our will or are we trusting they will do as they know to be best because they can see the bigger picture.?

If the Creator of the Universe can see the beginning and the end and middle and whatever then do we have to trust, especially when we pray for big things, that all will be as it will be.

How often have you or I prayed for something and it hasn’t worked out as we’d like, even to the point of someone dying, and some well-meaning, slightly insensitive Christian says “that must be God’s will”?

Henri Nouwen talks for how when we pray we shouldn’t come with a list of instructions for God but should come with a list of problems, issues and worries and then spend our prayer time handing them over to God and trusting that God will do as God will do and that our role is just to love and trust our Creator more and more.

So with that in mind, even though I do find the US results strange and unsesttling, though not unexpected, instead of being angry I am willing to spend time in prayer and be asking “what are you trying to show us, God?” and also moving into a place where I can trust that a Higher Power knows so much more than little old me.

Categories
altruistic Love

The Power of God!

Stones thrown from the beach to the coastal path after a storm in April 2024. Photographed by myself

The picture above shows a small part of the power of the sea. There were bigger stones thrown around too but I was obviously in awe of it and didn’t take any photos.

The power of nature, whether wind, waves, earthquakes, volcanoes, etc are easy to see but what does the power of God look like?

 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth

Acts 1:8

One of the last things Jesus says to his disciples is about receiving power from the Holy Spirit. [Read all that story in Acts 2]. But Jesus never actually says what this power actually is.

Now having come into following God through very charismatic churches I was always told that you could see if someone was “filled with the Spirit” if they spoke in tongues [this was seen as a definite sign in some circles and if you couldn’t “speak in tongues” then you were asked to check if you were a “real” spirit filled Christian!!!!], healings were another sign, raising people from the dead, deliverance of demonic spirits, discerning of spirits, and noticeable signs like that.

So last night was youth group night. It is Anglican not charismatic and is a small group of church raised young people with the vicar co-leading with me. We have been using the Bible Society’s Six Beats by Dai Woolridge which is great for opening questions. Sunday we were at Beat five which was about the starting of the Church and the coming of the Holy Spirit. There was no mention in the rap about all the above things that I’d been taught about in my early Christian life.

But then the vicar unpack the above verse and said that showing the LOVE of Jesus to people is the greatest power we can offer. Not just doing good deeds for whatever reason – and often we are all guilty of doing things to get noticed or to get the rewards, the pats on the back, the “thank yous” – But actually asking what people want, not just presuming we know, and then being willing to do what that person wants.

I remember as a single mum getting fed up of being given furniture I didn’t want or need, or food that my kids didn’t like, and then having to either give or throw it away. It was very rare for anyone to say to me “what do you need?”

Too often we presume what people want and even if they say we don’t hear.

Jesus says to the blind man “what do you want?” [Luke 18:35-43]. For the rest of us it was a bit of a no brainer question. The guy was blind. Surely all he wanted was to be able to see. But Jesus doesn’t presume he asks. And this is what true love is.

To truly love the someone we need to be willing to sit with them, to feel their joy or pain, and to ask “what do you want me to do for you?”

A totally different way of thinking! All this healing, deliverance, talking in tongues, etc are just outworkings of that power but the real power is to be willing to show the Love of God to others. And that, I believe is so much harder than just laying hands on someone and praying for them!

Categories
prayer technique

Doing It Properly?

I’m sharing a photograph of my dog at the writing groups I run because one of the big things I keep saying to the group is “there is no right or wrong, just write” when they ask me how to do things “properly”. It is all about finding your own voice and getting your words out there.

At the Upper Room Friday we got on to chatting about prayer. And on thing was how do we do it properly, as in what is the “right” way to pray.

Here’s a quote from Richard Rohr which even though it is about contemplation I think it applies to prayer just as well

When we emphasize specific practices too much, contemplation can become a matter of technique and performance. We fall back into self-analysis: Am I doing the practice correctly? The revelation of God, who always wants to enter the material world as our image, cannot possibly depend upon people sitting silently on a prayer cushion twice a day. That would mean that 99.9% of people who have ever lived on this earth have not known God.

It is possible to get too caught up in the “how to” of prayer and miss the whole point of “why”.

Why do I pray? Well for me it is to chat to God, to build relationships – so as much listening as talking, as much sitting with as doing with. It is to ask God to help me through things, to change situations for friends, to ask God to get involved with the lives of those I know and love so they can feel that deep inner contentment even when life is shit. It is also the same reason I write – because it is what I have to do to know what I’m thinking.

Often my prayers are more like letters in my journal than talking. Often God then speaks through my pen and gives me answers or directions or reminders. Often the outcomes of these times of chatting or writing with God can lead to unexpected answers.

One of our Upper Room friends had an amazing unexpected answer. She had to get her car to be MOTed and needed a lift there so she phone her son because she knew he went that way first thing in the morning. He was a bit short with her and even though he agreed to it said he wouldn’t have time to hang out. In other circumstances she would have found someone else but she felt God say that this was the answer to her prayer about getting back from the garage, so her son picked her and her husband up from the garage early. Instead of speeding off down the dual carriageway the son had to get off at their junction. As he slowed on the slip road of the junction his tyre blew out, the car shuddered and he fought the wheel but was only going at 25mph so all was fine. If my friend hadn’t heeded God’s response to her prayer her son could have been going at 70mph when it happened and who knows what the circumstances would have been.

Now I don’t think my friend did any special prayer technique or if she did I don’t think she’ll always expected that the answer to her prayers; an disaster averted. So it was not the technique she was thinking of or even her son at that time. All she did when she prayed that time was to ask God how to sort a lift back from the garage and her son popped into her mind. Next time, even next time to the garage, it might be a totally different response.

So I don’t think there is a “right way” to pray. I think it helps if we say we’re sorry for trying to do things our own way and not God’s way and that we do so want our hearts to be open to hear God not ourselves. But I don’t think we have to. I think there are times God answers prayer just because God loves us – whether we admit to loving and trusting them totally or not. I think it helps if we do love and trust God but then I think that helps with peace in our hearts thing rather than whether God will answer or not.

So let’s stop worrying about technique whether in prayer, contemplation, meditation, writing, our friendships, our jobs and more and just get on and do!

Categories
prayer Trust God

LET GO and Let God!

I’ve been staying in County Durham, UK for a few days helping friends clear out their loft as they prepare to move. It also meant staying with my little dog’s bestest friend ever. These two dogs have loved each other since they were puppies. Even if they go over a year without seeing each other they greet each other like long lost friends and just want to hang out together. This does mean that they want to get up early to be together all day so for four mornings I was getting a gentle knock on the door by Djola asking if Renly could come out to play. Of course I indulged and we were walking at 6am most mornings.

Well one morning we were walking down the path when I could hear mooing. A load of bullocks/heifers/young cows had broken out of their field and were moodling about in the wood beneath the path. Some were starting to attempt the climb up from the woods to the path we were on. Anyway I prayed and asked God is they could sort out these cows so it was safe for us when we came back.

Half an hour later we’re on our return journey and 5 cows, one a very large black one, were on the path. So I prayed again! As I walked back towards the village the cows stayed in front of us. I was concerned because I was walking them towards the village and the road. But I also had two dogs with me, and because the footpath is right by my friend’s house I didn’t have leads for either dog!

So I’m praying but also doing what may of us often do when we pray, thinking through solutions that I could do. Interesting how we do that – say we are handing problems to the God who created the WHOLE Universe but then spend lots of headspace and energy trying to think what we could do. Not really handing it over, is it?

The cows are almost at the turning to the track behind my friend’s house when this man appears round the corner with his dog and phone to his ear. He starts to herd the cows back in my direction. I grab both dogs so none of the animals, cows or dogs, get spooked. The cows give us a wide berth and skitter back to where they came from.

The man says “I’ve just phoned the farmer” and we have a chat about cows and that they all seem to be out and he says they’ve probably broken down the fence again.

When we went out in the afternoon for a walk there was no sign of the cows. Problem fully sorted. That local man and his phone were the answers to my prayers.

Simple.

Hopefully that will help me learn to let go totally when I do pray, not hold on a wee bit and see what I can do, and allow God to find the answers as they know best.

Bullocks escaped

Prayer answered

God is amazing

Maybe not quite a haiku but it’ll do!

Categories
freedom yoke

Freedom From ….?

https://dailyverses.net/freedom

A moment to write between trips!

We’ve got our Upper Room house group tonight and I’ve been pondering what I’d like to share when this verse came to me. So as I walked the dog this morning I got to pondering about what that “yoke of slavery” really was.

Whilst away I’ve see a lot of people who are trapped, many of whom are Christians, trapped by many things; by holding on to hurts and hates from many years ago and having to regurgitate them; trapped by issues in their upbringing which makes them repeatedly behave in a certain way and where their response is to say “it must be my/our upbringing” even though actually they don’t like those characteristics both in themselves and in others; trapped by diagnoses of mental health or behavioral ways again with this “this is just what I’m like”. When challenged on all these things from the regurgitating hurts to the characteristics, etc the response can be quite aggressive and almost a “so you don’t love and accept me as I am”.

Now I believe totally that God loves us unconditionally just as we are [and from that we are to love others unconditionally] but I also think God wants us to be freed from the “yoke of slavery” that is the often the “this is just what I am, I can’t help it” especially if it holds us back from being content with ourselves and with our lives – good, not so good, bad and downright horrible.

I believe to be in the freedom that is talked about here is NOT determined by circumstance, situation, or survival [which I think is a lot of what brings on these “I can’t help it” responses]. I believe this freedom comes from showing ourselves totally to God and to ourselves as we are, warts, traumas and all, and allowing God to set us free in whatever way they see best; counseling, QEC, therapy, Alcoholics Anonymous type group, or just that touch of God without any human intervention.

As with the joy, peace and love, I believe Freedom is a gift from God that is set before us waiting for us to take hold of. This doesn’t mean we will always be safe from falling back into that slavery of comparing, of judging, of fear, of feeling inadequate unless …, but it gives us a rock, a safe place, to crawl back on to, a place to remember that we are not bound by the slavery of being pitched by the waves of thoughts and feelings and situations. But we are totally free.

https://dailyverses.net/freedom

I had a few times over the past week where I could feel myself sliding back into old patterns of behaviour which came from fear, from survival, from old habits, but I either reached to God or asked others to pray from me and that put me back on that rock of freedom away from those “yokes of slavery” that would have dragged me back into old patterns of behaviour which were not wholesome either to myself or to those I was with.

Even today I had to stand on this rock because instead of the regular 10-12 people coming to our Upper Room evening there are only 6, 2 of which are myself and my husband! I heard the “old me”, the “enslaved me” saying things about how it wasn’t worth preparing for, how we ought to have invited more people to allow for there always to be a “crowd” coming, and fear of how it might not work out. Because I had already had to deal with these thoughts in regard to my writing groups – where I used to cancel if only 2 people were coming but now happily run them even if only 1 person is there, so long as that one person is happy about it – I was able to bonk these thoughts on the head very quickly. Or as the Bible says “take these thoughts captive”, which seemed to release this blog and so bless many more than those who will turn up tonight.

Son and dog safe on a rock – March 2018

Categories
control freedom peace

Control

Dog on a train to Cardiff as always giving me all control – photographed by myself July 2024

I said I was going to come back from Cardiff and start on a series around the Aramaic version of the Lord’s Prayer but …. that was me making a plan and trying to be in control. Nothing is coming and if I wrote it would be dull without life. So I’m not doing it.

This, and a recent incident, got me thinking about control – controlling others, controlling outcomes, keeping control of ourselves.

Whenever I think of control the Gossip’s Standing in the way of Control song slides through my mind. Lots of crashing guitars, angsty singing over mega meaningful lyrics.

But what does standing in the way of control look like in my life?

Well, I had a recent incident where I had come up with a plan to make everyone happy on a family weekend then one part of the team refused to submit to my plan. Yes that’s now how I see it. They would not submit and say what a great plan it was. I know them well enough that I could have used all those old techniques to manipulate and guilt trip them into my way of control. Instead, because I am walking through this healing journey, which includes letting go of controlling situations and controlling others and stopping letting old patterns and ways control me, I had to accept this person’s decision, lovingly release my plan, and actual stand in the way of my control.

Ok so it wasn’t easy and I had to a lot of realigning and regulating my autonomic nervous system so all the adrenaline was not pushing me to my usual defensive “safe” positions. Of course the old patterns did try to peek out but I have let go of so much through QEC and talking with God that I knew they had been beaten and were just those old pathways not the new green pathways I was now free to walk.

If I am a whole person, loved unconditionally by God/The Universe, and can make my own decisions by listening to my heart, then I have to trust that others can also make their own decisions whether I like them or not.

Interestingly even though there is a little sadness in my heart I feel at total peace about the coming event. There is no angst within me at all. And, from what I remember, when I have had a tightly controlled plan for a family type event I have felt tense because I then need to coordinate it all. Letting go of control means that I can now just be and let all those I love who will be there just be themselves around me.

I have stood in the way of my own control and it is good. It is freedom. Perhaps it is also another thing to add to the True Freedom post 🙂

Categories
Lord's Prayer prayer

Prayer

Ready to pray. Photographed by myself June 2024

I’m going to be away until Wednesday visiting my daughter in Cardiff but I want to do a series next around the Lord’s Prayer. Yes I know I’ve done it before but this time I’m going to slowly work through line by line, like I did with Psalm 23, but using a version translated from the original Aramaic.

But I want to leave that space between now and later in the week with this quote from Richard Rohr

From Sunday 21st July
Prayer is a symbiotic relationship with life and with God, a synergy which creates a result larger than the exchange itself. We ask not to change God, but to change ourselves. 
—Richard Rohr  

As one of the ladies at our house group last night said “the Holy Spirit is the symbiont living within us.”

I think with this thought in mind the whole “Lord teaches us how to pray” and Jesus responding with Matthew 6:9-13 makes sense.

Here’s my PDF on The Lord’s Prayer that I’ll be working with to wet your appetite

aramaic lords prayerDownload