Philippians – Aspirational Adventures

No Fear

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

July 9, 2026 – Bible verse of the day – DailyVerses.net

I haven’t written on this site for a while. I’ve been concentrating on my Substack and poems and stories but this verse has been pottering away in the background of my mind even before I read it on Daily Verses.

It is that last bit “the one who fears is not made perfect in love“. Now I know that John is saying this is perfect love in Jesus, or that’s how we are taught it in Church and Bible studies. But what if it has a lot to do with not fearing because we have been healed of our past traumas. I think Paul meant something like that when he said

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,

Philippians 3:13

I believe when we full heal we might be able to remember the event but we forget the deep pain, forget that part that dives deep into our core, into our bodies. When fully healed we no longer react automatically, no longer are open to stomach pains, headaches, and other bodily pains that we often don’t know where they come from. When we are fully healed our bodies can forget the pains, forget the traumas, forget the automatic responses.

But I think we can often only do that when we fully love and know we are fully loved – whether that is by the God who created the Universe or by The Universe, or even by ourselves.

The more I think about it the more I don’t believe we can fully know the love of God/The Universe unless we fully love ourselves and fully see ourselves deserving of love. Until we believe we deserve that perfect love we will always be fearful. Fearful that we’ll spoilt that friendship, lose that job, not have enough money, not be liked, not be a good enough Christian. etc. I’m sure you can add more to that.

But if we believe we deserve that perfect love then we are not fearful, not expecting to be punished, have let go of the past. Only then are we ready to strain towards the future – whatever that maybe – hand in hand with perfect love.

Transition

Photograph of Pensarn beach taken one warm evening by Diane Woodrow — The shoreline is always a place of transition. Taken by myself May 2022

I’ve just read this great article from Godspace about Transition and creating healthy boundaries for it. Whilst reading it I got a bit grumpy about how easy it is to create these boundaries when you are in control of the transition – which is not what the article says but what my brain decided to put in to wind me up because there had just been a transition within our family that I had not been brought into the discussion about and which, though not out of the blue, had wobbled me a bit. Only a bit.

But then actually if one reads the article without that grumpy, poor me attitude then it is about having things in place for when transitions come so one doesn’t get wobbled by them. I won’t go through each one but to say that it was the last one Transitions cannot be rushed that really got to me. But once I had calmed down – which involved taking the dog for a walk in the rain. And I do think there is nothing quite like North Wales drizzle to sort one’s mood out. Or at least it always works for me.

I came back realizing that even though the family members appeared to be rushing the decision they had probably been talking about it for a while. Just because my counsel had not been sort for whatever reason – and that is another thing – don’t go second guessing other people’s reasoning for asking or not asking for you counsel. That is very much a “grow up and get over it” that we have to say to ourselves and our attitudes when it comes to our children, I think.

Another aside – why is that often we find it so hard to see that our children have grown up and don’t need us to ‘parent’ them any more? Thoughts for another post one day maybe!!!

Anyway just because someone else is transitioning doesn’t mean that I have to go so fast. I can sit and ponder their decisions, their transitions, and I can slowly allow their changes to seep into my consciousness. And also though their lives are changing mine is staying the same and slowly but surely as I adjust to their changes I can allow their transition to become my transition.

I found this all very exciting. Sometimes though I do wish I didn’t have to have a grump beforehand. Though, and I know I keep pushing it, since I’ve been doing the QEC work around my issues, hurts and past traumas so I have found the grumpy times are getting shorter, the wise voice is coming in sooner and the peace is deeper.

So now as I process this transition – among the many other transitions that have gone on in these last couple of years – I feel a profound sense of peace. It is not my decision to decide someone else’s lifestyle choice, whether they are family or friends, and that really does give me enormous peace.

Jesus said “my peace I give to you” and as Naked Pastor said about love so I think is true about peace. It is all around us and there for anyone but we do just have to open ourselves to it. And being grumpy does stop that peace.

So as I transition into my family transition so I lean into that love, take it slowly and all that “peace that transcends all understand “to guide my heart and mind [Philippians 4:7]