I love the Christian Holy Week, or as the literal Welsh translation calls it “The Great Week”, that week from Palm Sunday through to Easter Sunday. I can see myself in so many of the characters – part of the crowd that gets excited because everyone else is excited on the Sunday. I often don’t need to know what’s going on to get emotionally involved – to cry at a single musical theatre song, to cheer when someone wins something even if I’m not sure of the event. People’s emotions connect with me, which means I could also see myself as part of the angry mob too because I could so easily get caught up with the moment.
I can understand why the disciples asked Jesus why he was curing the fig tree, why he trashed the temple, wonder what he was on about when he said the temple would be rebuild in three days; have traveled with him for so long and yet still not got the message.
I could so easily have been Judas, not so much betraying but trying to force Jesus’ hand in, what I saw was a safer or more effective way; could have been Peter who one day totally gets it and calls Jesus Messiah then later on denies him when he’s afraid of the consequences.
Knowing the end of the story I’d love to say that I would have just done the cheering, just done the Messiah acknowledging, not denied, not thought Jesus wasn’t sure what he was doing, would have totally got what was going on. But that’s because I know what happens next.
I realise, if I’m totally honest with myself, if I was there and didn’t know what came next I would be as fallible as the rest of those there. I would have slept when I should have been awake, would have run away when I should have stayed, would have hidden behind locked doors rather than have walked boldly.
So this year as I listen to the Bible Society read to me the The Great Week stories – I try to remember how fickle and fallible that I truly am. And then remember that God knows that anyway and loves me unconditionally anyway.
This is what AI came up with when I asked for a picture of Hebrew slaves. This was its 5th attempt all of which featured men interestingly enough.
Today’s Bible Society Lent reading was about all the stuff given to the temple. Now I know there is a verse in Exodus that says about how the Egyptians gave gold, silver and jewelry, etc to the Hebrews after the last plague, but there is an awful lot of stuff here.
I think we have always been led to believe from various Hollywood depictions and various sermons, that those descendants of Jacob, Moses’ family, lived in appalling conditions of starvation and over work. But then early on in the Exodus they are moaning about not getting certain food types, which means they must have enjoyed those foods not just picked up scrapings from the ground. Then in the reading today it says
with him [Belalel] was Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan – an engraver and designer, and an embroiderer in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen
Exodus 38:22
Where did Oholiab learn to be an engraver and designer and embroiderer? Or for that matter Belalel learn all he knew? We are often made to believe that when the Spirit of God feel on them suddenly they were able to do these things. Or that as these dirty smelly lowlife slaves were leaving the city suddenly very rich people were thrusting their riches on them to get rid of them.
I think those people who gave the gifts didn’t just give it to get rid of the Hebrews and hope to stop the disasters [the plagues] that were going on but I think they gave them because these were people who had worked with and for them, who they knew and trusted and who were leaving them.
Too often we see slaves as dirty, mistreated, doing menial jobs, living in squalor because this is what Britain and other Western European counties in the 17th-early 20th Century did to Black Africans and their descendants, but if one reads about the ancient civilizations they had servants who ran their businesses, were in high standing positions, were respected though owned members of their households.
To me though this gives a very different impression of the Hebrews leaving Egypt and why they were so quick to moan as they crossed this bleak wilderness between Egypt and the Promised Land. Maybe they weren’t going because the conditions were awful. Maybe they were going because they were suffering religious persecution for one, but maybe the big thing was that they believed they had been promised the area that became known as Israel. Maybe they left because they didn’t want to be slaves any more but wanted their own autonomy?
To me this fits in with thoughts on “Are Christians That Different?” and my own journey of following Jesus and learning that I am unconditionally loved by The Creator of the Universe. It was about a freedom from things that held me back from being free to be fully me, to have autonomy in my life, to not be held in slavery by having to fit in, etc, etc, etc. It is about learning to trust The Creator rather than myself.
For me now thinking that it is more to do with leaving something that was actually ok and going on a journey of trust and acceptance makes so much more sense to me than wondering why those Hebrews in the story moan so much in the desert. They were slowly learning to trust.
We’ve a friend who has long covid, is only in his late 30s, can only work 15 hours a week and isn’t able to socialise much because he’s exhausted, but says that now he understands about how “God works all things to the good of those who love him”. He’s had to go through that hardship to come to that place. He’s come from the good and being self-sufficient to walking with next to nothing but now believes he fully knows God’s love.
To me this fits in with the Hebrews being well-cared for slaves and leaving that behind to wander in a desert place trusting God for their next meal. Makes so much more sense to me.
I also think that whether we would say we are Christians, of other faiths or none I think there comes a point where we need to travel that road away from the comfortable, away from fitting in with the status quo, and need to be thinking our own thoughts, listening to our own hearts, having our own autonomy, and I think that will take a wander through things that are a bit dry and barren so that we can come to our Promised Land. [Richard Rohr calls it part of maturing in his book Falling Upwards]
Last week I was on an online writing workshop but had decided to take myself and the dog away, just the two of us, from all distractions.
This morning I listened to the Bible Society’s Lent reading for today. I’d got into listening to it instead of reading it whilst I was away. That way I could eat my breakfast as I listened. It is habit I am trying to keep now I’m back in my study. The reading was from Exodus 37 about Bezalel making the artifacts for the temple which would only be seen by the high priest once a year. The message is
challenges our fast-paced culture, where we tend to rush through tasks and settle for ‘just good enough’ to say it’s done, rather than pursuing excellence in how we work. When something is done for God, it deserves our absolute best in both time and skill. Whether anyone else sees our work or not does not matter. Excellence matters, because God notices and makes note of our integrity.
A lot of the things we learned during the week long writing workshops was how much of what we do regarding our novels never get seen – not just the first draft but the proposals, etc we have to present to an agent, the planing and thinking around structure, the angst of what to put in and what to leave out. All these hidden things need to be done to make the novel something worth reading.
We also talked about whether we would just write our stories to write our stories or to just share with family and friends or what we’d do.
In my town we’ve just had some finger signposts erected. But unfortunately the contractors who were paid to put them up did not see it as important to do their best. Many of the signs are in the wrong place, pointing the wrong way, or putting things of the town in a different direction. As well as the local tourist board upsetting people by putting the distances in kilometres whilst here in the UK we still work in miles. This is something that is seen but was not done to the glory of the contractors or the tourist board.
But what struck me, whether it is our writing or those myriad of other things we that no one ever knows about, we need to do them to the best we can. We won’t all be Bezalel designing the awesome temple furniture, or the person that designs the noticeable building but we should always do what we do to the unseen who cares for us and wants to see us do our best.
In Beth Kempton’s The Way of the Fearless Writer book she says how just making time to write, for her, makes her a better person to be with once she leaves her study. We all have things that we can give our all to whether that is devotional times, writing, painting, walking, housework, etc, etc, that when we give it our best the rest of the world notices.
So whether you believe in an all seeing God who loves and cares for you unconditionally and wants your best, or that the Universe is watching over you, or just for your own well being, make sure you do everything to your best whether anyone else will ever know or not.
I’m ploughing my way through The Bible Society’s Lent course Ploughing not because it isn’t great but because I’m not great at having to do things daily. But I love the way things get highlighted for me.
Yesterday was Jesus in the wilderness and what struck me, especially as a storyteller, and having read something about a new book about some Christian movement being accused of exaggerated over the top retelling of tales, is how do we know these things really happened???
Now Jesus doesn’t strike me as someone who would have boasted about his 40 days in the wilderness, or boasted about how he dissed the devil. So how did the writers of the three gospels it is featured in know?
It is a bit like the angel talking to Mary or Mary’s song to Elizabeth or many other things that happen with just the person concerned and a godly presence or in the Temptations a not-godly presence. We don’t know. Or we know because they probably told someone else.
I’m hoping that maybe when Jesus was walking all those many miles with his disciples, all those miles we are never told what goes on, and all those nights they spent sleeping under the stars, that it came out in bits and pieces, which the storytellers then put into something coherent.
I think in my God journey I am reaching that point where I agree with this quote
The Bible is a true story but not always factual. The truth of the Bible doesn’t come from the facts of the stories, but rather from the spiritual meaning of those stories. The true ideas the Bible teaches have little to do with history, geology, or any matters of the natural world, but have everything to do with the spiritual world and the things that really matter in our lives.
Amos Glenn, MINemergent: A Daily Communique (March 27, 2012)
Does it really matter how long Jesus was in the wilderness? Or whether the conversation between him and the devil was recorded verbatim? I don’t think so. I think instead of trying to decide if this really happened like this, whether it is the Temptation story or any of the other stories is that we need to ask God what the spiritual truth is behind this.
I do like the idea of Jesus’ follower one evening over supper saying “Go on tell us what really happened after you were baptised. Where did you? What happened?” And Jesus giving what he recalls of that time.
I would love it if he said things like “I was so hungry and knew what I could do but I knew it would be better if I carried on being hungry so I could hear God clearer.” “I know how this story pans out and I know I could make it easier but I know that if I go as the Father and I have planned then it will be better for you.”
I think Jesus responded to those temptations that are so common to us all in the way that is recorded to show he put humankind first and wanted what is best of for us all.
I binged watched “Zero Day”, a latest Netflix series, over the last two days because I was home alone. It is a great US conspiracy series but the bit that struck me, that I think is the truth of all that Jesus did, was when the President says something along the lines of “we were voted in not for what we wanted but for the good of the American people” [I’m not even going to go down the ‘is this happening now?’ route]
These temptations of Jesus, I believe, may or may not have happened, but the story is told to say that often we can do things easier, we can take short cuts, we can find a way that means we don’t get hurt, but in the long run would that really help those people we are called to serve, to be with, to witness to?
I’ll finish with another quote that says so succinctly what I’m saying here, I think,
“You prayed “use me Lord” and thought God was going to put you on a platform to speak or sing. What you didn’t know was that He was going to have you navigating through a bunch of trials so you could bless people with your testimony of resilience and not just your gifts.” -Nate Evans Jr.
Jesus was willing to go through those trials for each one of us and, I think, that is what the story of the Temptations is telling us. And is what we are meant to emulate.
This is John the Baptist in full rant by the Jordan river.
Something happened last night that made me read this verse this morning in a different light. So I’ve always seen this verse to be about doing good things, about not breaking the 10 commandments and much more. I’ve thought it meant doing good deeds, of helping the poor, of being cheerful, etc, etc. But last night I was grappling with being put in a position I’m not comfortable with.
This is the uncomfortable position – I came up with an idea about a family event with music and food at a local park. I’ve since realised that I am being expected to coordinate and organise everything and last night that sent me into a tailspin and I was awake from about 3am. I am a visionary and an encourager but I am not great at going into places and asking people to do things. Ask me to get people together so they can do an event [which is what I do with the local areas different Messy Church leaders] and I’m great. But then someone else has to sort out the how, what, when, where, etc.
I did pray and what came to my head was to ask people to pray for someone to help me and to be open about my vulnerability. I sent the request to a group of ladies I’ve only just connected with, as well as to close friends.
Then this morning I read this verse.
I am sure I am not the only person who struggles to ask people to help.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who tries to push through when I’m not comfortable doing so.
I’m sure I’m not the only who doesn’t like to say “I can do this but cannot this”.
But if I am a new creation, if the Son of The Creator God has truly set me free, if I am truly repentant of my old life, then I should be able to be vulnerable, should be able to say “I can’t do that” and should be able to ask for help.
To me this is “producing fruit in keeping with repentance” or showing that I have given up my “sin” of self-reliance.
A friend mention about being a leaf and not tree [I’ve got a poem coming together around this] and I think this is part of repenting of being self-reliant, of producing the fruit of connectivity and community. It is repenting of “going it alone” and producing fruit of “needing others even if they hurt at times.”
After reading this verse this morning after my sleepless but revelatory night I am now going to have a ponder what other areas in my life I “miss God’s mark” and where I need to “turn around” and see what fruit is really there.
There’s more to producing the fruit of repentance than just going good things.
I love the two girls I explore the Bible with on a Wednesday evening in McDonald’s. We spend an hour eating burgers, talking about their lives and pondering bits from the Bible. And I more often than not come away with something that renews my faith in God.
Yesterday we started on what are commonly known as the Beatitudes
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:3 NIV
Or as the Contemporary English Version says
God blesses those people who depend only on him. They belong to the kingdom of heaven
Even looking at “poor in spirit” the girls were very much “it means those who depend on God” and they get heaven, or if we’re sticking to the CEV they “belong to heaven”.
To me it just followed on nicely from Tuesday’s post about wondering what makes Christians different and to me it is saying that God will give blessings to those who know they can’t do it themselves, to those who choose to lean on a higher power. These are the people who understand what they can and cannot do, are ok with their strengths and weaknesses, know how to say a full Yes and a full No to things. These are the people who know they can’t do it themselves – and who I suspect also lean on other people and know how to ask for support from trusted friends too.
This is so unlike the superior Christians who imply that once you’ve got Jesus it is all systems go and you are almost better than anyone else. Whereas these verse seems to say that once you’ve connected with something beyond yourself – whether you call it God, The Universe, a Higher Power, Creation – then you know you haven’t got what it takes but in a positive way.
So it isn’t “poor little me how can I cope” but “I struggle with things and need a bit of help from something beyond me”. It is a strength thing. And it is from that that Jesus says those people belong to heaven/have the kingdom of heaven.
These verses then go on to talk about people who are humble, who mourn, who are merciful, who want to make peace, etc. which hopefully the girls and I will unpack after half term.
first snowdrops. Early Feb 2025. Photographed by myself
I’ve had the above question buzzing round in my head since a post came up on Facebook from someone I admire who slipped in about her parents being stressy, angry, not wanting to heal of their trauma, but also of how she was “dragged” to church every Sunday. And I was like “how can I show her that Christians are different?” And I’m not sure that I can because every thing that I’m told Christians should be – kind, generous, supporting others, at peace, filled with joy, sure of their direction and decisions, know they are totally loved, know they are fully forgive, fully forgive others, etc – I see in those who are not Christians and often’ don’t see if Christians.
This isn’t a crisis of faith but I think that is because I had the most amazing conversion experience where I was totally swamped by God’s love for me even when I was a total mess and didn’t even like myself. There have been many times over this 33 year journey where I’ve not stayed under that safe motherly wing of God’s love, of where I’ve not given God all my sh*t to deal with, where I’ve been afraid, angry, totally out of order, but always known deep down that I was loved.
So what is my issue?
Well I think what I want is so that people like this person on FB, others that I know, will be able to see the difference in those who profess to being Christians but I don’t think that will happen.
Like I say it has been 33 years since I had that first amazing God encounter and I’ve been lucky enough to have others since but I’ve been on this Following Jesus journey for over half my life, have loads of Christian friends of all different persuasions. I think I’ve “got used to it”. It is now my norm and I often forget where I was beforehand. Perhaps I also want to see a bigger difference in my life???
I think I have to go back to why I became a follower of Jesus and it wasn’t because of any person but was because of meeting with God in a way that worked for me. I know others who it has happened to differently. Just last weekend one of our Upper Room ladies said she’d taken a woman to church who had gone up to make Jesus her Lord and Saviour at that church meeting. The Upper Room lady is amazing but also she was faithful to take this woman to church at the right time.
And the more I ponder this the more I think that there is nothing noticeably different about being a Christian – even the “having Jesus to talk to/to know how to follow” is a bit tenuous at times and I know others, including the FB person who started my line of thought, who would say they listen to their heart or to the Universe for guidance, for peace, for healing, etc.
But what I do think is that we need to be faithful to God’s leading and be willing to do things to help put people in the way of God. It is actually quite egotistical to think we have to “lead people to Christ” even though that is how a lot of us were brought up in evangelist/charismatic traditions.
In these traditions, a lot of the time there is either openly or subversively that idea that we have to be different to draw people to Jesus. I think that’s why there can be so many “don’t” rules, because there is that underlying idea that it is our responsibility whether people want to follow Jesus or not.
Jesus told his followers to heal, to cast out demons, to share the good news [though that can be vague at times] and to make disciples. We should be making disciples not converts too. We should be putting in the hours to help people heal from their traumas as well as their physical issues, helping people work out their journey with God, walking with people as they stumble, even calling them out when they do and say and act a certain way, and be willing to be challenged ourselves.
So as I’ve pondered it, as I’ve wound up my lovely Christian friends by throwing this into as many conversations as I can, and now as I write it, I believe we need to get out of the way and let God in.
So how will I respond to my FB friend? I won’t. I won’t try to argue God’s case for them. I will step out of the way. I will keep on praying and keep on hoping that one day God gets them to turn and face God’s way. Also I will live out the good news of God as best I can, will continue on my own healing journey with God, will be willing to disciple others, and be the fallible human being I am.
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
Matthew 6:24
I’ve been pondering this. In sermons and when we talk about this verse too often the fixation is on the “God and money” part but what if Jesus had said, “for example God and money” because I don’t think it is just money that can be something we shouldn’t devote our time to. Even before I knew God I always trusted I would have enough money to do whatever I needed to and I’ve been on anything from the lowest social support income to now have a husband who, in my opinion, earns lots. I’ve always desire what is within my means. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve not had other “masters” who’ve taken me away from God.
Think of the things we all serve, good and not so good, – our own time/space, family, reading a good book, work/ministry, feeling valued, our animals, worries, caring for the environment, standing up for others, chasing our dreams and desires, etc etc. The list is endless. And all these things are good and important but once they become our masters then God moves into second place and things can go a bit awry.
As I was pondering the above I came across this on Facebook
I think this is another example of serving a master that isn’t God and letting our attention move in that direction. As with what is quoted in the Bible he says here that we become disorientated and cannot love as we should. We aren’t able to be who we are meant to be as followers of Jesus.
When we put caring for our family or our ministry or our jobs or our desires or even our quiet time as a thing before God [when we serve another master] then we turn that thing into a god.
Let’s try not to get caught up on the literal but wonder if the short phrase “for example” was left out. Maybe too it is easier to focus on not serving money than look inside our hearts at all the other things we try to serve.
Who do we want to bear fruit for? I think often it is so we look good, so people will say “What at good person” or even better “what a good Christian” or even “I’d like to be a Christian because of the example that person lives.”
I think all those are admirable but to me this verse says we should be bearing fruit for God the Father’s glory so that God the Father can delight in us being God the Son [Jesus’s] followers.
So we are doing and being and “bearing fruit” [whatever that means] not for any egocentric reason but because we just delight in God.
I remember when my kids were little we would do craft projects or snuggle on the couch to read from the latest Horrible Histories magazine not because there was some great educational benefit but because we loved being together. Our “fruit” was in hanging out together being family. I do think too often now when either my adult children visit or we go to visit them we feel we should “do something” so we can say there was purpose [fruit] in traveling all that distance, when maybe we’ve actually missed the point.
I think too often with God we put on events, do church, have meetings, talk to people about God, because we think that is what “bearing fruit” is all about. But that isn’t bearing fruit for God’s glory or showing we are Jesus’s disciples. I think “fruit” isn’t something tangible, not something we can say X number of people attended this event, made this commitment, took Bibles, even got healed. I think the fruit being talked about here is that deep stuff where we learn to trust God more, even when things go wrong; when we can live in a place of deep joy and peace no matter what; when we can accept ourselves just as we which is what God does with us; when we can believe God, the Creator of the Universe, loves us unconditionally and we can love ourselves and others unconditionally.
I truly believe this “fruit” Jesus is talking about here doesn’t come with targets, attainments, no new converts but is a deeper love of self, others and of trust in God, the Creator of the Universe, loving us unconditionally. Then we are truly disciples of Jesus and would be willing to go anywhere, do anything, know our end goal but not have to put in boundaries to get there but be able to go with the flow.
I think “going with the flow” is another fruit of being a disciple of Jesus.
So bearing the fruit that is the glory of Father God, I think, involves sliding into a deeper place with them and no longer trying to achieve, attain and be noticed.
My local park Christmas day 2024 Photographed by myself
I’m always amazed at God’s timing [and do need to learn to trust it more in my daily life] and also God’s subtlety.
I’ve just been reading the reflections my mum sends me from her church and of course, as all good Anglicans know, this is the week where Jesus reads the piece from Isaiah in the synagogue.
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me. He has sent me to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim release to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to liberate the oppressed, and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.
Luke 4:18-19
I’ve often heard it preached that the reason the people got upset was because Jesus was being a bit of a smart-arse and saying “look this is me and what I’m all about”. But this reflection says to look at the verses around it and the verses around when this was first said in Isaiah. In Isaiah it talks about the congregations looking after the poor, the prisoner, the blind, the oppressed.
It is very much what Right Rev. Mariann Budde was saying at President Trump’s inauguration ceremony. We’d all like it to be to Trump and also to those billionaires on his front row. But what if it isn’t just the President Trump, those billionaires, or to include the cabinet people on the second row? We’d like that. We’d like to say “they need to do that” – and oh yes so they should as they are in power.
But what is she is actually saying it to each and everyone of us? To all of human kind?
We need to do whatever we can to give the poor dignity [which is more than leaving food in the box for the Foodbank] by not letting those who have not feel like charity cases. We all need to be helping those who are blind, and who we don’t seem to be able to miraculously heal, to be able to see and understand the life out there, and I think, this includes those who might have physical sight but miss out on really seeing the world in all its glory. We all need to be helping those imprisoned by circumstances and life choices to be freed from their mistakes, their addictions, their limiting ways of thinking. All of us not just those in leadership – though I do also think they should be leading the way, hence why they are called “leaders”!!
What I love though is the timing of this as well as the challenge. It is so easy for us all to point the finger but it is much harder too look inside out hearts. But that amazing timing where these are the verses in the lexicon for this season and there is the opportunity for us, for our leaders, for the rich and famous, to all live out what Jesus calls us to do in all the mystical, diverse amazingness.
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me. He has sent me to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim release to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to liberate the oppressed, 19 and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.
Don’t point the finger at others but look at yourself!
Aspirational Adventures 
