Tag: acceptance

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acceptance joy peace

Acceptance

Renly accepting that he has to be wrapped up in a towel after he’s been outside in the rain. Photographed by myself November 2024

I was chatting with a friend the other day about how she realised that she had to accept the limitations of what she was going through – her health, her personal situation, etc – and only through that could she feel at peace.

We talk about the Peace or Joy of the Lord [depending on translations] being our strength but very rarely do we look at what that entails – to settle into the peace and/or joy of the Lord during tough situations. But it struck me as we were chatting that accepting things instead of fighting against them makes such a difference.

That isn’t to say we settle back and go “oh well that’s it and I won’t try any more” or as I’ve found from certain people “you can’t expect me to do that because I’m an X personality” or “because I’m such and such diagnosis”

But it is being honest about the situation and saying “this is where it is and I am going to learn to live with that as best I can. I am going to accept the limitations of that [mental health issue, physical health issue, relationship that isn’t going as I’d like, insert your own] and am going to rest in that Higher Power and see what they want to do with me.”

From this place will come peace and that deep joy that transcends understanding.

We all know people who are going through some real tough times but they radiate something that is so gentle, so peaceful, that we want some of it. And we also know people who are going through things that you have to gird yourself up to see because you know you should because they are going through stuff but, boy, are they giving off some negative energy.

Having been through some tough stuff I’m not coming from a place of not knowing. But I also know there have been times when I gave off total negative energy and blamed and hated what I was going through and the whole world. But I also know there have been times when I have been sad and hurting but have lent in to something/someone beyond myself and trusted. Not so much that they would change the situation but that they would hold me through the situations. Whenever I do that I know I feel better, more peaceful, more calm, less blaming, and I’m sure those around me can feel that energy shift.

I don’t say it is easy but I do say it is worth it.

I’ve pondered this many times before. If you do a search of “joy” you will find many other posts linked to this one.

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clanging bell right energy

Furthering The Kingdom

We went out in the snow and then the following day in Storm Bert and this is the little dog afterwards wrapped in his drying robe! Neither picture has anything to do with the blog content 🙂

Today is Christ The King Sunday. I know this because my mum sends me her zoom links for her early morning church service, which I then forget to click on to but I still read the liturgy!

I love on the Sunday that many denominations acknowledge Christ as King it is also Stir up Sunday. No this isn’t a day for stirring up the congregations to become more Christ-like, to put Christ more in the centre of their lives, to give them a poke to get them out of their comfort zones. No! Stir Up Sunday was the day when all the women of the parish would stir up their Christmas puddings to get the alcohol evenly distributed so the puddings would taste great for Christmas day!

Fascinating that they are on the same Sunday!!!

But it got me thinking about a question that came up on the study we were doing with the youth group. The study had been about the Book of Revelations and the question was “what could you do to help make God’s kingdom come?”

Some of the answers were – giving toys to HomeStart charity, being kind to school friends, saying thank you, or for myself, writing.

It got me thinking about how we should be using our gifts and talents because I still think that it isn’t what we do but how we are that makes God’s kingdom come and I think that comes about when we know our talents, our strengths, our weaknesses, and take our areas of healing to God so they can heal us.

So even if we are being all out evangelical and preaching Jesus to people if we are not doing it from a healed, safe place but doing it because we ought to, or are fearful of what will happen to them if they don’t meet with Jesus, then people won’t notice. Great though it is giving toys to those children who don’t have enough if we do it with resentment or even with hoping we look good then we aren’t doing it with the right spirit, with the right energy.

I believe it is all about the energy that comes from us.

In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul says that if we do things without love we are like a clanging bell, an out of tune bell. In terms I understand I would say he is saying that if we do things with the wrong energy, with the “trying to look good” energy, with the “still hurting inside” energy, with the “needing to be needed” energy, then we are like an clanging empty out of tune bell. We hit the wrong note with others.

So I think whether today we are stirring puddings, trying to bring forward God’s kingdom, acknowledging Christ as king, or like one friend has just shared on FB, speaking gratitude over her battered kitchen, if we do it with the wrong energy then it will be clanging, but if we do those things and even the most benign things with the energy of love and acceptance things will change.

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higher power Trust God

Praying About Elections

Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

It is interesting the response from the losing side when there is a referendum or an election. In the UK I’ve heard calls for proportional representation, or after the Brexit vote how it shouldn’t have been a 50/50 split, and today was reading about the way Trump has won in the US.

Democracy in the modern world is still newish. Yes it comes from Ancient Greek but really that was mainly the elite in the city state. And until recently most of the Western world only let those who owned property and were male vote, or over a certain age. Voting for every adult no matter what their status in the UK only came into being in 1969 – a mere 55 years ago! So we are all still new at it.

I’m picking up lots of newsfeeds, etc from people I know or know of, in the US and they are depressed, upset, confused and more. But then I am only reading ones from people who are like me. I’m suspecting that, if I followed those who did vote Trump I would hear a very different story. I do need to remember that what I hear is only from those I follow who are more like me than not.

One thing though I have been thinking about is prayer. Now I know lots of people who were praying for the US elections. I’m not sure how many were praying “let your will be done, Lord”, how many were praying “God protect our land” or something similar or how many had their own agenda. And I am sure that people on both political camps were praying too. Does this mean God was being dragged back and forth not sure what to do because Democrats were asking for a different result to Republicans?

But this got me to thinking, if we pray for something, are we trying to manipulate God to do our will or are we trusting they will do as they know to be best because they can see the bigger picture.?

If the Creator of the Universe can see the beginning and the end and middle and whatever then do we have to trust, especially when we pray for big things, that all will be as it will be.

How often have you or I prayed for something and it hasn’t worked out as we’d like, even to the point of someone dying, and some well-meaning, slightly insensitive Christian says “that must be God’s will”?

Henri Nouwen talks for how when we pray we shouldn’t come with a list of instructions for God but should come with a list of problems, issues and worries and then spend our prayer time handing them over to God and trusting that God will do as God will do and that our role is just to love and trust our Creator more and more.

So with that in mind, even though I do find the US results strange and unsesttling, though not unexpected, instead of being angry I am willing to spend time in prayer and be asking “what are you trying to show us, God?” and also moving into a place where I can trust that a Higher Power knows so much more than little old me.

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hard outer shell made good

And God said it was Very Good [Gen 1:31]

This dog totally believe he is good, where he is is good and life is just good, especially if I am with him. Photographed by myself at Newborough beach, Anglesey October 2024

Renly believes that wherever I am is good and that he is good and that life is good. Did you know God is omnipresent which means God is with us all the time? So surely we could then at least believe that we are good – very good.

So Genesis 1:31 says God made humankind and said humankind is good; very satisfactory, our best, pleasant, interesting, better than anything else we’ve made. [paraphrase]

Meaning of “Good” thank to https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/good

very satisfactory, pleasant, interesting, better, best

But do we believe it? Do we even get taught it in many of the churches we’ve been to? Too often we get taught that we are sinful, that unless we accept Jesus [whatever that might really means] we are condemned to eternal damnation, and need to repent.

I will go back to the whole idea that sin is just missing God’s mark, which we all do, but isn’t about not being made good.

Sometimes, I think, good can appear a bit of a weak word. A bit like nice. A word that is used more when things are not bad but not great, which is why I’ve added in the Cambridge Dictionary definition.

I think God looks at us and when they say good they mean more on the amazing side of ok than the “just got through” side. How about if we looked at that verse and realised that when God says good it means that we are pleasant, interesting, very satisfactory, the best for the Creator of The Universe to want to hang out with. And not just when God first made Adam and Eve but when God made each and every one of us!

But too often we get caught with the things we’ve done wrong, the hurts we’ve endured, the traumas we’ve picked up, the intergenerational stuff that hasn’t been cleared, and we look at ourselves through all this hard outer shell stuff and we forget that we were made good.

I also think it is this hard outer shell that can make us do horrid hurtful things to ourselves and to others.

I think the amazing thing about healing and learning to trust and hang out with God – whether this is through QEC, Sozo, Freedom in Christ, other trauma healing stuff from wherever, hanging out with friends who see through our hard shell and enjoy being with us, or even a phrase or sentence that slides into our hearts and chips away at that shell – is that we do see that shell for what it is; something that kept us safe from stuff that was going on around us but it is not us. And we will be safer without it.

So as we see the shell for what it is and even get to chip away at it we learn to see ourselves as was originally intended; without the “good/bad” judgements we and others place on us; without those epigenetic tags our ancestors and ourselves picked up; without the mistakes we have made. We start to see ourselves as good, very satisfactory, interesting, pleasant to be with, the best.

And I for one think that if the Creator of the Universe thinks I am good then who am I to argue????

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content

Content Right Where You Are

Small dog at the top of a mountain content right where he is. Above Loch Katrine September 2024 photographed by myself

How often do we wish we were somewhere else? Ok when things are really rubbish that is ok but how often do we do it when say we’re in a beautiful place but it isn’t quite where we wanted to be so we wish we were somewhere else? We’re on our walk with God and they’ve got us in the valley when we’d like to be on the mountain top. Ok we often rationalise that into a “this is God’s plan so I’ll go with it” but really we’re not happy.

I’ve spent years chasing after something else, wish I was this big person in Christian mission stuff, chasing after it and it not happening, trying to rationalise it into being “God’s will” or pushing against it because it could be “of the devil” why I don’t get on.

The other day I was reading this is in Beth’s blog

‘not every lake dreams to be an ocean.’ –

memet murat ildan

And I realised that even though I had dreamed of being an ocean in fact I was really a lake and could be content being a lake. Like I can be content walking on the lakeside rather than climbing the mountain, content to have the dysfunctional family but surrounded by inspiring friends.

The Apostle Paul tells us to be content in all circumstances [Philippians 4:11-13] and I think, too often we take that as good times and bad times, hearing preaching on how these things are transient, changeable, and that we can endure because we will pass through them. But, for me, I’m coming to realise that some things will not change. I cannot change my family or that I’ve never done some of the things I’ve done, that I will always be a lake and not an ocean. But I can change how I see things. I can be content to be a lake, to have lived the stories I have, to have had to walk on the lakeside rather than climb the mountain, to have missed out on things, to have at times be really uncontent and angry at how things were. I cannot go back and change but I can now change how I feel about those situations.

So I can be content in all things past, present and future knowing always that so much I cannot change but I can change how I feel about things, how I view things.

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Believe ego

Ego in the way

Rhos-on-sea beach gathering lugworms photographed by myself Sept 2024

How often were you told as a child not to get “too big for your boots”? And you knew what that meant. It meant you were being proud, boastful, stepping up a gear, and that was not approved of by the adult who was telling you to be “more humble”, when actually here humble meant to not say you were good at anything.

Someone I know is doing a very brave and loving thing [long story so won’t give details but just know she is being so amazing, so trusting in God and so humble] for her son. I was praying and saw her as this amazing Warrior Woman and told her so. Her response was that she needed to get her ego out of the way so she could believe that.

That got me thinking of how often we see ego as being “egoist” or too big for our boots, boastful, prideful, etc whereas I heard from her that her ego was herself thinking she wasn’t up to the job, that she wasn’t a warrior woman, even though The God who Created the Whole Universe had just told her so.

Too many of us have had too many times when we’ve been put down rather than lifted up and have passed that onwards to our children and others we know too.

I loved working with Americans when I was in YWAM because they were not afraid to say what they were good at or had done well at and would tell others when they thought they had done well. Very unlike us Brits can be. Brits can be very quick to put down ourselves and others, to root for the underdog unless they start to win.

So I say … let us kick into touch those sayings of not getting too big for our boots. As my friend says “get our egos out the way”. And pull on those great big kick-arse boots that are waiting for us to go out and change the world with.

And changing the world might not be solving world peace or climate change but it might just be a kind, encouraging word, or as my friend is doing just supporting her son in a big things, or as another friend did and just obeyed what she felt she’d heard in prayer, or any of those many things that come naturally to us.

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freedom yoke

Freedom From ….?

https://dailyverses.net/freedom

A moment to write between trips!

We’ve got our Upper Room house group tonight and I’ve been pondering what I’d like to share when this verse came to me. So as I walked the dog this morning I got to pondering about what that “yoke of slavery” really was.

Whilst away I’ve see a lot of people who are trapped, many of whom are Christians, trapped by many things; by holding on to hurts and hates from many years ago and having to regurgitate them; trapped by issues in their upbringing which makes them repeatedly behave in a certain way and where their response is to say “it must be my/our upbringing” even though actually they don’t like those characteristics both in themselves and in others; trapped by diagnoses of mental health or behavioral ways again with this “this is just what I’m like”. When challenged on all these things from the regurgitating hurts to the characteristics, etc the response can be quite aggressive and almost a “so you don’t love and accept me as I am”.

Now I believe totally that God loves us unconditionally just as we are [and from that we are to love others unconditionally] but I also think God wants us to be freed from the “yoke of slavery” that is the often the “this is just what I am, I can’t help it” especially if it holds us back from being content with ourselves and with our lives – good, not so good, bad and downright horrible.

I believe to be in the freedom that is talked about here is NOT determined by circumstance, situation, or survival [which I think is a lot of what brings on these “I can’t help it” responses]. I believe this freedom comes from showing ourselves totally to God and to ourselves as we are, warts, traumas and all, and allowing God to set us free in whatever way they see best; counseling, QEC, therapy, Alcoholics Anonymous type group, or just that touch of God without any human intervention.

As with the joy, peace and love, I believe Freedom is a gift from God that is set before us waiting for us to take hold of. This doesn’t mean we will always be safe from falling back into that slavery of comparing, of judging, of fear, of feeling inadequate unless …, but it gives us a rock, a safe place, to crawl back on to, a place to remember that we are not bound by the slavery of being pitched by the waves of thoughts and feelings and situations. But we are totally free.

https://dailyverses.net/freedom

I had a few times over the past week where I could feel myself sliding back into old patterns of behaviour which came from fear, from survival, from old habits, but I either reached to God or asked others to pray from me and that put me back on that rock of freedom away from those “yokes of slavery” that would have dragged me back into old patterns of behaviour which were not wholesome either to myself or to those I was with.

Even today I had to stand on this rock because instead of the regular 10-12 people coming to our Upper Room evening there are only 6, 2 of which are myself and my husband! I heard the “old me”, the “enslaved me” saying things about how it wasn’t worth preparing for, how we ought to have invited more people to allow for there always to be a “crowd” coming, and fear of how it might not work out. Because I had already had to deal with these thoughts in regard to my writing groups – where I used to cancel if only 2 people were coming but now happily run them even if only 1 person is there, so long as that one person is happy about it – I was able to bonk these thoughts on the head very quickly. Or as the Bible says “take these thoughts captive”, which seemed to release this blog and so bless many more than those who will turn up tonight.

Son and dog safe on a rock – March 2018

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house of the lord joy peace

The House of The Lord

View from Y Shed, Melidin August 2024

I’ve been pondering “And I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever” [Psalm 23:6] ever since writing my last thoughts on Psalm 23 and the idea that Paradise is here and now if we just look around and see it.

It’s been a tough couple of weeks with family stuff and things going on – and moving into a busy period but, as I said in Control, I do have to just love on those round me, know I am loved unconditionally by The God who created the Universe, and just let what will be will be.

Then there have been some posts from Henri Nouwen about how so many things we have been taught – like peace of the Lord, joy of the Lord etc – are up to us to manifest when actually they are gifts from God and that we have to trust that we have received them.

So our role isn’t to manifest them but to trust that peace/joy/love is there for us “to claim even in the midst of our moments of despair.”

So in the midst of all this that is going on, even when I am sad, disappointed, upset, even angry, I have to believe that I have already received this overwhelming peace and overwhelming joy and I just need to trust that I can place all of this in God’s hands without worry.

Ok so that doesn’t stop me feeling those emotions but “an emotion is an emotion and then it passes“. So I let the emotion go through my body, acknowledge and accept it rather than think that as a “good Christian” I shouldn’t be feeling things like this to those I’m supposed to love.

So what if the House of the Lord is actually living in that “Peace that transcends all understanding” [Philippians 4:7] and resting in the “Joy of the Lord that is my strength” [Nehemiah 8:10]? What if the “place Jesus has prepared for us“[John 14:3] is here and now and not some unknown place after we’ve died? or what if it is both???? – accepting that we won’t live forever!

Perhaps this is the whole thing of why we need to meet with Jesus this side of death so we can live out our hard work human lives with all their ups and downs and hassles and joys and hard bits and easy bits and relationships within the House of the Lord walking in God’s peace and joy no matter what shit is going on around us?

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control freedom peace

Control

Dog on a train to Cardiff as always giving me all control – photographed by myself July 2024

I said I was going to come back from Cardiff and start on a series around the Aramaic version of the Lord’s Prayer but …. that was me making a plan and trying to be in control. Nothing is coming and if I wrote it would be dull without life. So I’m not doing it.

This, and a recent incident, got me thinking about control – controlling others, controlling outcomes, keeping control of ourselves.

Whenever I think of control the Gossip’s Standing in the way of Control song slides through my mind. Lots of crashing guitars, angsty singing over mega meaningful lyrics.

But what does standing in the way of control look like in my life?

Well, I had a recent incident where I had come up with a plan to make everyone happy on a family weekend then one part of the team refused to submit to my plan. Yes that’s now how I see it. They would not submit and say what a great plan it was. I know them well enough that I could have used all those old techniques to manipulate and guilt trip them into my way of control. Instead, because I am walking through this healing journey, which includes letting go of controlling situations and controlling others and stopping letting old patterns and ways control me, I had to accept this person’s decision, lovingly release my plan, and actual stand in the way of my control.

Ok so it wasn’t easy and I had to a lot of realigning and regulating my autonomic nervous system so all the adrenaline was not pushing me to my usual defensive “safe” positions. Of course the old patterns did try to peek out but I have let go of so much through QEC and talking with God that I knew they had been beaten and were just those old pathways not the new green pathways I was now free to walk.

If I am a whole person, loved unconditionally by God/The Universe, and can make my own decisions by listening to my heart, then I have to trust that others can also make their own decisions whether I like them or not.

Interestingly even though there is a little sadness in my heart I feel at total peace about the coming event. There is no angst within me at all. And, from what I remember, when I have had a tightly controlled plan for a family type event I have felt tense because I then need to coordinate it all. Letting go of control means that I can now just be and let all those I love who will be there just be themselves around me.

I have stood in the way of my own control and it is good. It is freedom. Perhaps it is also another thing to add to the True Freedom post 🙂

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others self

Letting Go Of Self – part 2

Letting go of self is NOT the same as losing control 🙂

I wish I’d waited till today to write about letting go of self because there was a great example in the Netflix series I was watching.

It all starts to unravel as secrets are reveal. One husband says things like “how are you feeling now?” and “I’m so pleased you are finding you” and even though he looks sad when she says that she truly loved the other guy he reaches out to put his hand on her to comfort her. This character let go of self and cared more for his wife than for himself.

The other husband lost it completely with his wife. He screamed and railed at her, refused to let her be with their daughter, and kept shouting “what about my reputation?” “how am I going to walk down the street now?” “I a ruined”. Even their sister talks all about how this revelation has ruined her life.

Letting go of self is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and, even if it hurts, put their comfort and their needs first. How many of us could really do that?

Interestingly as the series continues it is those who are angry at their own hurts that the story concentrates on. The self-less husband disappears from the story. It makes me wonder if in reality we like to blame others and keep our feelings in the centre.

Only with healing, by knowing we are loved unconditionally and being accepting of ourselves are we ever going to be willing to let go of self, I think.