I waited until I got my most recent credit card bill through because it had got a bit maxed out due to needing new glasses, car being MOTed (which it passed magnificently again), and husband’s birthday, and then I bought myself a Nutribullet. I have wanted one for ages and had got a cheap one from Aldi which I had used to death but now for the main article. So Saturday morning I went to the dreaded Amazon site, the place we all love to hate but that fits the bill for all our needs, and ordered a little bullet. I couldn’t quite bring myself to go the whole hog but have gone for the magic bullet. Amazon promised it would be delivered between Weds and Fri of this week. Excited!!!
Then I got an email to say it was coming Sunday. No not Sunday! I didn’t want a Sunday delivery. I felt that Sunday should be a day of rest. Postman get the day off so why not white van man? Though the day off thing does not work for my local Tesco, which I often pop into on my way back from church, or cafes or pubs. Hum! Something to think on there!
So Sunday about 2pm, which I was pondering taking the dog for a walk, the doorbell goes and man trusts parcel and electronic signing thing into my hand. I say thank you and he is gone. I wanted to say something like “I’m sorry I didn’t want it delivered today” or words to that effect but he was gone. But as I was walking on the beach with the dog I 
pondered – how was I to know whether this man was maybe a Jew or a Muslim. Maybe he had Friday or Saturday as his day off? Maybe he didn’t want Sunday off at all. Maybe he had a horrid home life, or lived alone, or ….? How was I to know what his life was like and whether he was happy or not to work Sundays? I used to work in hotels and bars and restaurants and used to love working Sundays when I was single. I used to like working over Christmas because, at the time, I didn’t want to spend it with my parents and their new partners. I used to love the camaraderie and fun of working over Christmases. Sundays were often a bit of a slog. We didn’t get extra money because it was a weekend or holiday time. In fact we got nothing extra at all, not ever time off in lieu. Most of the time we were just casual staff in the days before minimum wage so had to work to pay the rent!
I know there is the thing about delivery people not getting well paid but they get badly paid from Monday through to Saturday, as do those in hospitality. I suppose the thing is 
the delivery drivers have to work to fulfil what is seen as the “need” to get a parcel immediately. And for me I think that’s where the rub is, that we should have a bit of delayed gratification. Just occasionally.
Thought – but then I suppose I did buy from Amazon because I didn’t want to make a trip to Argos and pick it up from there. I did want it now! Hum!
Ok so picture this – you’ve been sent to go and do some huge task that you don’t want to do. I think we often hear this in our childhood or teens. But it is so huge we runaway. I know I ran away into was drink, drugs, etc. Other people can runaway in a calmer, more acceptable fashion. In the running away you get to a place where others throw you overboard (we’re on the Jonah on the ship now) and you get swallowed up by something that you know has saved your life. Ok it isn’t great inside the whale but it is safe, you are going nowhere, you’ve got enough to eat, you aren’t doing yourself or anyone else any harm. You’re even wondering if you could live the rest of your life in that dull, dark place.
stay by the dead, safe place and live off it as it rots, or[3] we can take some of the dead meat with us. With the last two options we will be living off dead and decaying meat. Stinking flesh. Rotting flesh. We need to leave the dead behind and move on into the unknown.
heads of state would give money to the poor. It was done in the most humiliating way, though I’m not sure if those doing the deliberately thought of it that way. They would throw the money into the crowd and the people would then throw themselves on the coins and fight for it. Remember these people were starving and had no welfare system. But to those doing the giving it reinforced the idea of “the poor” being uncouth and unruly.
Now we don’t even let those who could do with a bit of extra cash even go through the humiliation of having money thrown at them. But I think that is because we hide the poor even more. It is harder to see who is on benefit and who isn’t, but the media makes sure it highlights those receiving state aid as undeserving, scroungers, uncouth and unruly!!
some very brave fire-fighters who worked hard to save it. People have been donating thousands for its rebuild. This same week, if you listen hard enough, the flooded areas of Africa are in dire need of food and medical supplies but no one is donating thousands for them. In fact many parts of Africa, Asia, Central and Southern America, and even parts of Europe are having an on-going struggle with severe poverty issues, yet money for these is raised in dribs and drabs. Is it better to be an icon than a person in need?
I was a volunteer at a local restoration project. I was working very hard. I had reached a point where I was tired of doing it all for nothing. The Christian expression that a friend uses a lot is “the grace had gone”, which means the love, the joy, the being able to put the work at the castle first, not needing rewards apart from the joy of being, wasn’t there any more. It meant I was getting grouchy about it all and wanting to see wrong in it and everyone there. My husband said that it is psychologically proven that when people want to leave something – a job, project, relationship, town, etc – they find fault with it. But you see I didn’t want to leave not liking it there. I can see the castle from my study window. I also walk my dog in the grounds. I did not want to stop looking at it, stop going there, stop encouraging other people to go there. I didn’t want people to hear my bad mouthing it. So what to do?
of every evening he always shares something on the local history of the area. Well one of the two places he picked was the castle where I used to volunteer. And he especially picked out the young man who runs the Trust and is the driving force in the restoration. Because I had left with grace and kindness, when I saw it and the things Dan Snow said about it my heart swelled with pride. Not because I had been a part of it but because I knew the person being honoured. I was proud of him. He is my friend. I was proud to hear him honoured. Proud that the place I used to be very involved in was one of only two places singled out in this area for Dan Snow to talk about. All this came about because I grew up and left with grace not with anger.
Last night I saw Dan Snow, The History Man, speak at a local theatre. One of the many things that he said that struck me (so be warned there could be many more blog posts to come) was that he knows people say, generally behind his back, that he is only doing what he does because of his family. He paused before saying “Yes I am.” He went on to say that because his parents both had a love of history, that his father was in television broadcasting, because they had money and could afford to go not just to historic places close to home but across the world, that yes that is why he is stood on this stage now. He is doing what he does because of where he comes from.
sharing this book on his Instagram ages ago) This quote from Jan’s course jumped out at me because it fits in so much with what I am reading at the moment that Willard is saying the problem with Christianity is. (Note I am only on page 77 at the moment 🙂 )
and even alcohol. It lasted five days before I decided that I needed to finish the elderflower presse off with the gin liquor my daughter had given me. It was a week before I decided to use the cheese that was in the fridge for a meal, to use up the mushrooms that were lurking in the vegetable rack with the turkey that was sitting in the bottom of the freezer. Why couldn’t I do it? Because I was doing it as an “ought” rather than it being something my innermost being wanted to do. And the funny thing is that we generally only eat meat once or twice a week, drink wine only on a weekend, and only have spirits on special occasions! It was in the telling myself I couldn’t that I wanted to. When it is just a part of my life – I suppose part of my innermost being – then it is easy.
So I think we need to stop telling people that Jesus lets us see a meaning to life, or even telling people they don’t know the meaning of life but help to show them the bits of Jesus life that help us all to find true connection with our innermost being and truly bring us alive. And to be honest I don’t want to hangout with a God that doesn’t do that for me
I realised yesterday that I am grieving the loss of a friend. Not one who had died but one that was moving away. Since I moved to this town this person has been key in who I am and what I do here in my church life. She has spurred me on, stood by me when I’ve stepped out, filled in the gaps when they’ve needed filling. She isn’t the only but she has been one of the strong pillars that have given me the encouragement I have needed to step out. She is now doing, what I have done many times before, and is moving to another town.
Things will change.
