I am trying to sort my social media out and so have taken the Facebook app off my phone. That has been great because it has stopped me checking who’s said what on whatever. But actually, apart from putting pictures of my dog on there and advertising my workshops I don’t use it much.
I have just started a blog with my writing on Medium. Find me on https://medium.com/@barefootatthekitchentable It is a great site with lots of other writers and is easy to do. One of it’s great features, for those who haven’t yet gone on Medium yet, is that there is a button at the side of each post to press for “claps”. A reader can hold down the button and let it run up to 50 claps. This morning I was checking my emails and it gave me my statistics. Please note I have only posted 2 pieces on there and not that many people know as yet! But I got into checking who was following and how many claps I had received. It is also possible to check how many claps each person has given you. I could feel myself hovering over to this place but stopped myself. Would it change what I thought of my followers if I saw that they had only given me one or two claps and not the full 50? What would it make me thinking of the posts I had put up there? Wold I get into condemning my writing?
We seem to live in a world now where we are judged all the time and encouraged to judge each other. Medium does reward those who gain over 1000 claps for a piece which is great, but it can still bring in that insecurity. How often do we look to see who’s “liked” or similar on Facebook posts, on Instagram, on Twitter and more? The media talks of how Facebook and others sites make us insecure about our lifestyles and our looks but I have yet to hear it spoken of about how we feel about the “rewards” we receive.
It is great as writers that there are so many places we can post but I think we do still need to guard out fragile writers egos.
Being a natural encourager I will always “like”, clap, click the heart, etc because that’s who I am. I know of people who are not like me – and I do struggle with them 🙂 – but their way of supporting and encouraging is hold back, to be more restrained, and that is fine too. What is the point of having to be able to give from 1-50 “claps” if everyone gives every piece the maximum? But it does mean that we all need to be careful that we don’t get too caught up in the rewards and turn ourselves into performing seals.
I love to watch Dragon’s Den and some of what I like is the comments that the ones who don’t obtain a dragon get. These people are often not unkind but they are harsh. They tell people they are unprepared, tell them that they need to do more, have not researched, etc. They cannot take on everyone who comes through the door, cannot give them all the 50 claps. There are people who are not ready.
So I will continue to post on here, on Medium, on my Barefoot writing workshops website because all three take me in different directions. I will also continue to write for myself and for some friends I share with. I will do my best not to worry about what the reaction is but continue to hone my skills and trust to me not the “fish” I get thrown. I am not a performing seal. I am a writer.
2 replies on “Watching Those Stats”
People who only give one or two claps just don’t know how to use the website Diane. I made the mistake of giving you one clap until I realised how to up the number. It’s true though that we are governed too much by applause or otherwise from others and it shouldn’t matter. For example, an old work colleague who is still stunning at 55 years old gets lots of oooohs and aaaaahs every time she posts on Facebook and yet most people ignore mine. Nobody has ever told me I’m stunning in my life (not even husbands or boyfriends) and they aren’t going to start now I’m 65. Having said that, I look back at old photos and think “wow I wasn’t bad looking really and I never realised at the time”! Maybe I’ll do that again when I’m 75 and look at photos from 10 years earlier! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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It is that struggle to find that approval within ourselves especially if we have not received it as children, I think. I remember one time looking at both my children and saying to a friend “aren’t they good looking?” Now my children have different fathers, and my friend said to me “well where do you think they get it from?” And then went on to tell me that they got their looks from me. My daughter is more confident that I was at that age because I’ve spent a lot of time complimenting her and telling her how great she is – which she is. it is not false praise.
I made a point of telling my son on Saturday when we saw him at his new regiment in Tidworth how proud I was of him.
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