Tag: rossiehb.art

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lugnasa sow/reap

Lugnasa

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A random selection of photographs over the last year or so

Lughnasa is the Celtic festival to mark the beginning of harvest and time of gathering in. 

One could look at Lughnasa a bit like the end of a year review, a look at what was and what happened and seeing what comes next. For me this works because I don’t feel any pressure like one can get with New year’s eve and all that. And no one is telling me I “should” be doing it 🙂

Here’s a bit more about Lughnasa

Lughnasa is a time to gather in and to reap what has been sown. The other side of the wheel from Lughnasa is Imbolc, February 1st, when the very first signs of spring started to rumble awake on the earth. In these last six months, we have seen a cycle of flourishing and fecundity, both around us and perhaps also within. 

It is sometimes thought of as the time of “first fruits” and is when the grain is gathered in. One of the central rituals for this feast is cutting the first corn and making it into a loaf for the Mass at church on August 1st or 2nd. In the Hebrides in Scotland, it is recorded that families would celebrate Lughnasa on August 15th in connection with the feast of the Assumption of Mary. Each family member would take a piece of the bread and walk sunwise around the festival fire and sing a song to Mary. 

The other liturgical connection is the Feast of the Transfiguration on August 6th, tying Lughnasa with the appearance of Christ in glory to Peter, James, and John on the mountain. The Apostles are filled with an ecstasy from which they do not want to awaken. In some Christian traditions, the interpretation of the text is that rather than Christ changing, the eyes of the Apostles were opened so they could see him in his true form. 

Thank you to Abbey of the Arts for this. It can be found on their regular emails.

This opening from Abbey of the Arts email got me thinking – what do I have to gather in, and more importantly what have I sown over the past year.

Number one, in both sowing and reaping, I would say is our little Willow. She came to us in November – a week before my mum’s husband’s funeral – a crazy bundle of nervous snapping energy. She looked as if she’d been loved but not walked and not given boundaries, and possibly beaten. She appeared lacked confidence and being able to trust a human. Over the last 9 months I have walked her miles, persevered with putting in boundaries – sometimes not helped by Renly our old dog who seems to have decided this is an excuse to bring out his inner teenager!! Willow now has muscles in her legs and a trim waist from all the running she does. She plays in the park with other dogs like a normal 3 year old pup. Her recall is verging on excellent. Even when we encountered a horse on the beach the other day [Willow’s first] she came to me reasonably quickly and did stay close to me the whole time she was barking. Even the rider said she was impressed how quickly Willow responded to me. Yes she still barks when the door bell rings, but then so does Renly. But Willow will then run to the living room door and jumps up to be shut in there whilst I deal with the postman. She no longer thinks she needs to protect me from allcomers. She does allow friends of ours that she knows to come and visit but is still uncertain about visitors she hasn’t met before, and still barks hysterically at my writing group. But I think I am reaching a point with Willow that I am reaping what I sowed.

Other things I will list or this will be a huge post. These are in no particular order of importance

  • I have sown regular postings on Substack especially encouraged by the lovely MJ Polk of Stories From the Jukebox prompts, which have included me being a featured writer some weeks and even getting to pick a song one week [first of many there] I have read negative comments about Substack in some corners but I have found a group I have sown into to have helped me reap support and are a group of really encouraging writers who love my work and I love theirs. Win-win.
  • Over the last couple of years I have been sowing into a local church youth group via discussion groups, hanging out on the beach and being me with them. I am reaping friendships from that as well as a deeper trust between myself and the newer clergy there making church a joy to attend.
  • 8 months my diary entry says I would not drive again. Into this time I sowed prayers for healing, QECing around good sight, and some positive thought. This led me to had my eyes rechecked and I am back driving again, which is so lovely, especially during the really hot weather when I could take the dogs to the beach at 6am so they could run before it got too hot, and so I could get in a good walk too before hibernating.
  • I have been sowing into this lovely home we bought 10 years ago and this year it was the turn of the hall and stairwells. It got off to a shakey start when I was let down by the friend of a friend who started the work back in February but then had issues of his own so never finished. After taking a breath a neighbour told me of other decorators and now I have a glorious entrance to my home. Kitchen comes next!!!
  • I love sowing into creatives that I know and am proud to say that most of the art work in my house comes from people I know
  • I have been sowing into my continuing healing journey for years now. This has made me more self-aware when I’ve overreacted. Though doing a mix of QEC and healing in Christ and prayer and forgiveness I am reaping the rewards. I feel more at peace with myself and others, feel safe and not needing to hold control, and have a deeper love of my own company and just hanging out with me – oh and my dogs.
  • I also learned that I can’t sow into everything. I jumped in to a role with an organisation, my enthusiastic labrador tail wagging, only to discovered this was not the place I was meant to be. The joy of being able to say “I’ve made a mistake” and to step away was amazing. I know it will stop me leaping in like that again. Definitely something I’ve reaped from doing the work on myself I’ve done.
  • Also I reaped, from making this mistake, from the regular Substack posts and from doing the healing work, is that my memoir project is coming together slowly and in a way I would never have imagined when I started on it a couple of years ago.

So this is a snapshot of the things I feel I’m harvesting. I’m sure there are more. It would be interesting to hear from yours at this mid point in the year rather than wait till 31st December 🙂

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Categories
freedom wallowing

When The Going Gets Tough

You Are Loved by Rossie Henderson-Begg https://rossiehb.art/ with the tea drinking covid bird underneath

What do you do when things get tough? Do you retreat into the toughness and wallow there waiting for someone to lift you out? or do you see where life is going to take? Do you go with the currents of life and trust that “all will be well and all will be and all manner of things will be well” – Julian of Norwich

I’m sharing the picture above to encourage you to sign up to my friend, Rossie’s newsletter which you can find on her website if you click the link above. Here is a young woman who has walked through tragedy, sadness and defeat, but has found a way to journey through it. She isn’t one to wallow.

Many people, whether Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, other religions or none, choose between sliding into a pit of despair when something happens – big or small – that doesn’t reach their expectations, or rising above it and accepting it as life. This can the tragic loss of someone too young and too soon, or it can be a dream that didn’t come to fruition, a relationship that they didn’t want to end that ended painfully, an exam not passed, a job not got, etc. And I’m not saying these things are not horrendous. But some people choose to stay there and wallow, almost waiting for someone to pick them up and out of it – but it can often seem that no matter what is suggested they will find a way to stay where they are.

For each of us though there is a way up and out of it.

For Rossie it is her painting, amongst other things, – which she has now bravely gone and turned into her profession. For myself it is my writing – especially the free writing – but also chatting with people. I also love to help others find that freedom and release via writing. My writing groups are not “writing for well-being” per se but they are also not for people who really want to get a book published. They are for people to explore life, the universe, their feelings, etc, via the power of creative writing!

One of my biggies too is to be outside, especially by the sea, but my local park does the same. Just to walk and enjoy the simplicity of the natural world and all its wonders helps me to get outside my own troubles, issues, and disappointments.

Prayer and connecting with God is also another amazing way. But I do think to do that one has to want to trust God to be there, not to sort things out but to hold, to love, and to listen, for prayer to turn one’s heart around. Not the situation, but one’s heart. Too often, I think, there is a disappointment with God because he doesn’t sort things as the person praying would like – doesn’t heal, bring back from the dead, restore the relationship, make the dream work out as one hoped.

Healing via QEC is another one for me. I know others who’ve found a sense of healing through Sozo, talking therapies, and many other ways. But these things must be used as a place to be freed not to prolong things. The same is true is prayer. There is no point keep mithering at God that things didn’t work out as you wanted but, like with the above therapies, it has to be a way to be healed and to move on.

My point from this post is to say that my friend could have wallowed in her grief and despair, even whilst doing her painting, but she chose not to. [check out her photo on her website] But I know of many others who choose to stay in that place. And for some I think they stay, not because they like it, but because they believe the world is a scary place and so it is better to stay in their fear, anxiety, sorrow and loss, than to step out and get slammed all over again.

There is always a choice – to stay and wallow or to find a way out of that place.

    If you check out my earlier blog – Diane’s Daily Thoughts – you’ll see I am talking from experience. And this blog from March 2012 only shows a snapshot of my journey through disappointment, loss and other shit. When someone read my Day of The Dead post they said “I didn’t realise you had dealt with so much loss”!

    Categories
    inner journey My voice

    More Than A Painting

    Painting by rossiehb.art*

    I’ve never been one for a bucket list. Much as my family teases me about writing lists, and how on my death bed I will be leaving them all lists of what to do, I am not great at doing that listing of things I’d like to do. My lists are things to do during today. But if I had had a bucket list of things I would like to do before I die one of those things I’ve realised I would have put on would be to have a painting commissioned for myself. Not just to buy a good piece of art but to have one that is total mine and mine alone.

    The other thing I would have put on my bucket list if I’d done one years ago would be to have a room of my own. A room that is totally mine. I’ve lived in rented accommodation on my own and when a single mum, or I’d lived with parents or with a partner. And even though I do take charge of the decorating in this house the rooms are still “ours” not “mine”, whereas now I have this study; a room that is s totally my room.

    Anyway my friend, Rossie, started getting properly back into her art a while ago as her family’s time running Ywam Bristol was nearing an end. It is funny in wondering why her family moved to Bristol with this wonderful vision then things went awry, I do wonder if they were there so that Rossie could connect with some from the art scene there but also to be strategically placed to rekindle her art.

    Anyway in May she wished me a happy birthday and something pinged within me and I asked her if she would paint me a picture because I felt it would fit perfectly with the new colours in my study. She asked me what I wanted and I just said for her to do as she felt.

    Well as we all know I’ve been doing a lot of “work” on myself via QEC etc and I think the biggest thing to emerge is that I am being able to more clearly say what I want, when I want and how I want. I am being released from people pleasing, needing to be loved, from needing to complying, from my guilt of my past, etc, etc. Well guess what Rossie felt to call the painting??? “Finding Your Voice”

    Finding Your Voice is often used in writing as in finding your writing style. But as I gaze at this painting I know it is more than just that. It is being able to know that the still small voice of your heart is clear, is you, is safe, can be trusted. It is knowing that the voice you hear is clear and true. It is hearing it within the clutter of shoulds and oughts and conditioning.

    Over the past few years I have been finding that true heart voice, that voice that is truly me, that voice that can cope with the difference facets of myself without fear or criticism. Interestingly too as I’ve found my own voice I have been able to decorate my study as I like it, put in bits and pieces that I like, turn my desk so I’m looking out at the world rather than at a wall, added a comfy chair, a floor cushion, coverings, etc that I would not put in a shared room in the house. As I have found my voice so I have also found my space. I think too I’ve found my space within the wider world too without having to push myself to fit in with a clique.

    So this painting is not just a something from a bucket list I didn’t have but it is something that says something about my journey. It has also come just as I was ready for it.

    Unfortunately the photos do not do it justice. I messaged Rossie and told her that it is like trying to photograph a feeling. It doesn’t quite work, doesn’t convey what it says to me.

    Please do check out more of my lovely friend’s painting as www.rossiehb.art and on social media on @rossiehb.art

    And even the dog’s floor cushion matches the decor. The cushion is from Gill’s cushions, who is also someone I know. I’m slowly filling my space with personal things!