“Bestill, andknow that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10
This was a verse that was given to me on a bookmark over 30 years ago when I first met with God and I’ve been pondering it every since.
What struck me in church on Sunday was – this is not a moment in our day when we take a “mindfulness moment” but it is a lifestyle. The whole of our life and our existence should be still, calm, at peace, knowing that God has it all covered and that our whole role in the whole salvation of all the peoples of the world is just to be still and to know that God is God. But I think too often we see this as a moment not a whole.
So we take a moment to be still and then we go back to worrying, doing it in our own strength, stressing, when we can just still our whole minds and bodies and believe
This isn’t easy but, from what I’ve learned from QEC and being able to bring my autonomic nervous system into line regularly then it is possible to keep “resetting” and returning to that still and trusting place whenever we notice we’re not there 🙂
Conwy Beach, 7.10am 6th Sept 2023. Photographed by myself
[This is the first of some more following on from discussions with a friend who stayed with us over the last weekend. She is exploring her faith and asking those “awkward” questions]
I love a good sunrise. It always fills me with hope for the day ahead. Here on this deserted beach yesterday, even though there was a busy day ahead I was filled with hope.
Hope in what you may ask. Well just hope of a great big God, of a great big world, that all my needs would be provided for the day, that I would not walk alone, just hope
I was reading Creed: reexamined beliefs just now. In this Fiona talks about whether what we believe really does bring wholeness to us and to the world. The part that jumped out at me was the bit about Hope and I will requote her quote
“The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”
Barbarba Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
As Christians what do we hope for? I mean not what do we say we hope for but what do we really hope for? Does what come out of our mouths echo what is in our hearts?
Things like do we really believe in going to be with God when we die? Do we really believe God is with us in all that we do? Do we really know we can call on the Holy Spirit whenever and they will be there?
It seems to me that there are a lot of people who still would say they are Christians who don’t go to church but are exploring the things they were brought up with. Things just don’t “work” for them. For instance how can God be a God of love if certain denominations tell us to hate people who are not heterosexual, not living the lives from that denominations view point. How can the Holy Spirit be there to guide us if we look so glum, worry about death so much, are anxious, are fearful, greedy, don’t ask for help? Etc etc.
If we aren’t living the basics – God, as in the whole full Triune God, is love, loves us unconditionally, and is there for us always – do we really believe what we then try to tell others?
Since doing QEC I have come to realise that it is the things you do regularly that become your lifestyle and it is what you choose to be healed of that helps that lifestyle. Also sometimes, I believe, you hold on to things because actually you quite like them – whether that be a way of looking at life or what you do.
The apostle Paul says about “praying continuously” [1 Thess 5:17] and I remember thinking how that must be impossible. That was because I saw prayer as something set apart, as being something one does with ones eyes closed. But once I worked out that prayer is just a jargon word for chatting with God/being with God I realised I could do this all the time. It has become my lifestyle to know that God is with me all the time and that I can talk with them or not as I feel. And sometimes it is things like “did you just read that text/email/hear that conversation with X? Can we focus on that a wee bit? Can you work with that?” type of conversation. But actually that is no different to conversations with friends, family, spouse, where we can be together talking or not talking and then the conversations veers towards something specific. Same thing.
So one part of my lifestyle is to know that God is with me all the time.
Another part is that I am working on the whole thing of The Lord’s Prayer and specifically the “daily bread” and the “forgiving self and others” parts. So when I feel myself getting anxious or into planning mode I breath, bring my autonomic nervous system back into regulation, and remind myself that what I really need for today will be there. Ok yes I forget but I am working on it.
I’m also after an argument or a time when I’ve done something wrong/upsetting/not right or when someone has done that to me I forgive myself and them. This clears the slate for me to carry on.
As my desk diary says for June “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today” For me that works by forgiving myself and others and by knowing my daily needs will be met.
Another thing that is not a chore/a job to be done is the ANSing. The getting my autonomic nervous system into regulation and balance whenever it flips out. And let me tell you once you get aware of this it happens quite often. Before discovering this whole ANS thing when I felt anxious/fight/flight/freeze/fawn/angry/etc I used to try to do an analysis of what was wrong, what was upsetting me, who had said what and why – very much looking with my logical mind. The more I’ve done with QEC the more I’ve come to realise that some of it I might never know. I might have been a gesture, a smell, a taste, a word, that set off a memory buried in my subconscious that made my adrenalin race and it was so buried that I would never find out why. Or I was just overtired or hungry or both. Very often I would finish up either blaming myself for losing it or blaming the other person for upsetting me. But now my lifestyle choice is to ANS, forgive and let it go.
I am not perfect and I do forget. But what I’ve realised are these are not “things I ought to do to make me a better person” but things I chose to do and how I want my life to be.
My QEC practitioner talks a lot about self-help books and how she sees them as not helpful because there is a lot of psyching someone’s self up to “be a better person” and I agree. But also I think if in reading these books one picks up something that one chooses to become a natural lifestyle choice, not something you feel you “have to” do [remember I am against have tos and ought tos and should dos], then go for it.
I journal because it frees my mind. Although I used to journal to figure things out. Once I let myself run free then it was just another way to get my ANS into balance.
So for me ANSing, forgiving, believing God/The Universe will supply what they know I need daily, and allowing myself to be in a place of constant communication with God/The Universe is not something I have to do but something I just do. It is as much a lifestyle choice as walking my dog, drinking beer in the sunshine and hanging out with my friends. All of which keep me sane and at peace with the world. But also I think it only works when one does it as an “enjoy doing” rather than a “have to”.
Aspirational Adventures 