Tag: christmas

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Advent joy

Joy

It was interesting on Sunday because our church’s “Joy” candle struggled to light. I think it was a prophetic sign that joy is one of the hardest things we can grasp this year. There’s so much going on – wars and rumours of wars – and has been really since 2020 [the year of perfect vision] things just seem to have been spiralling downwards, or so the media would have us believe.

Even if we don’t grasp it for ourselves I think we find praying for peace and love in the world is something we can and should be doing. I think even when we get to hope we can manage that. But joy when things like the Bondi beach shooting happens, when children are kidnapped to be child soldiers, when sea levels are rising that poorest are losing out, then Joy is a hard, and feels almost callous to pray.

Interesting too that it is a different colour. I wonder if that is because whoever picked the colours in the first place knew that Joy would be of a different nature?

But I do wonder if the reason we have to keep coming back to Love, Peace, Joy and Hope is that we keep forgetting it. And we keep thinking it is up to us to manufacture it. But it isn’t. It is by leaning on God that we find these things. And at this season we need to be leaning into the promised Joy that was promised with the birth of Jesus which gets hidden further and further from the actual Christmas.

Much as I do not agree with the things Tommy Robinson is saying around his slogan of bringing “the Christ back into Christmas” I do agree that we need to bring Christ back into Christmas. When I was young all you seemed to be able to buy were Christmas cards with some from the Nativity story on them. Now it is harder and harder to find anything remotely Nativity based. And it isn’t people of other religions, young people, etc who are shying away from this. I was at a local writing group, made up mainly of white middle class retired men and women and we had 3 writing exercises over a 2 hours workshop, all Christmas based, and yet, apart from one I did, there was not a single nativity based story came from it.

So I do wonder if, in and out of Church, we forget Jesus and we try to muster all these things in our own strength which is why that poor old Joy candle spluttered and went out and had to be relit a few times. I think maybe we need to put the Real Jesus – the one of love, of acceptance, of caring for the poor, the fatherless, the refugee, the one who loved the WHOLE world – back into Christmas.

I’m going to finish with a quote from Christine Sine that helped me make sense of what is being asked with Joy

Then I realized: Is the problem that my understanding of the joy of Advent is all wrong? This is not a joy of happiness or of fulfillment, but a joy of anticipation. It is best expressed in the middle of disaster and heartache and violence that destroys nature and people and cultures. In the midst of these things, our hearts long for the fulfillment promised in the birth of Christ. And in that longing we respond in whatever way we can

Meditation Monday – What’s All This About Joy?

So I will take joy in the anticipation that what was promised at Christ’s birth – the joy to the whole world, the Christ at the beginning, middle and end of Christmas – will come to pass and wars and hatred will cease. In that I place my joy this season.

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christmas faith Mary

Faith and Action

Cute picture of my dog and cat being inactive – photographed by myself Dec 2024

James says “faith without works is dead” [James 2:26]

After yesterday’s Upper Room gathering and rehearsing with the young people for the Nativity play, I realised God works this way too – sharing deeds to help our faith. Probably if one looks properly all those things we say the Bible says God wants us to do God’s doing them anyway.

In the Upper Room we got into talking about ways we had really seen God show up – a nurse suddenly appearing to suggest a treatment which saved a dying mother, a head on crash being diverted by the car suddenly being in a lay-by, a vision of a car which slowed the driver down and stopped her being hit, etc, etc, etc. We all had some story or another. But I also wonder how many more things had happen to us that were God’s intervention but we didn’t see because we weren’t being observant enough?

When we are fully present in the moment we see the things God has for us, I believe. Then instead of worrying about our circumstances we can be in that place of openness, observation and deep joy. But we do need to be in that place.

With the QEC work I do our practitioner talks a lot about keeping one’s autonomic nervous system in a place of calm which we learn to do by saying things like “I’m safe, your safe, we’re safe” or “my ANS in a calm and stasis” or for me spending time free writing and letting my heart seep out of my pen then adding in some different beliefs.

So where am I going with this? Well for me I like QEC because not only do I see it work in myself but I see it working with my practitioner. She isn’t just talking the talk she’s walking the walk. [Faith and deeds]

The reason I like God [and struggle with much of organised religions] is that I see things that align with what is being talked. Like with the stories from the Upper Room community – God in action.

So back to the Christmas story. The other day I said that people believed Mary because they had faith and trust in her; that she was the only human who really knew how she got pregnant. But actually if one reads the Christmas story then there is more to it than that.

Firstly we have to let go of all we have been preached and also all of modern life. Jewish communities did NOT have a stable on the edge of town where Jesus would be born away from prying eyes. He would have been born in the town. Even if there were people who did not believe Mary’s story about how she got pregnant they would still have taken her and Joseph into their home because there was no where else to go.

Jesus was born into a home not away from everyone though much of what we hear preached and are encouraged to believe now is that Jesus was born on the outside. As I read recently [but have lost where] religion, and so ourselves, likes the idea of Jesus being born in a stable on the edge of town where we can go and visit him rather than being in our homes where we are stuck with him all the time.

Next angels appear to shepherds. It says “the brightness of the Lord’s glory flashed around them” [Luke 2:9 CEV] So you’ve got shepherds on a hill above the town. Close enough to run into the town to see the baby. It wasn’t like we are now with light pollution and whatever. The place was in pitch darkness so even a small fire would be seen for miles and miles. Suddenly, up on a hill, there is light. Someone in the town would have seen it.

Then these shepherds hurry down from the hill to see Jesus. It doesn’t say they wait till daylight. So they’ve got torches and all sorts and I suspect they weren’t being quiet.

Also remember now we’ve got Mary, Joseph and Jesus in someone’s house not in a stable on the edge of town. I’m suspecting those shepherds didn’t get the right house the first time. I suspect they knocked on a few doors before they found the right one. But also I am suspecting because of the light and noise of the angels that people in the town were up.

This was no secret on the edge of town birth. This was big. This was noticeable.

God asked for faith and then gave deeds to help with that faith.

As I’ve pondered it this year I would love to think of Joseph and all his relatives in Bethlehem thinking that they would love to believe Mary because she is such a sweet person and so reliable and trustworthy, but then God comes along and does the deeds thing and they go from that small seed of faith to that tree of full blown belief.

Maybe too it is how those of us who accepted Jesus by faith have been able to hanging in there during the tough times because God gave us something more tangible too?

Faith without deeds is dead – and because God knows our fragile hearts they are able to give us deeds to help us with our faith.

Peaceful Christmas to everyone who reads this. And keep your eyes wide open to see what really is going on around you.

My hallway with and without extra lights – December 2024

Categories
Feelings Thinking

It’s About The Thinking!

A continuation from yesterday’s post – because I found the picture I was looking for. Interestingly it came to me when I’d stopped thinking about it and was walking the dog. Just popped into my head. I find lots of my ideas do that – just pop into my head. But I do forget that. Yesterday I spent the morning pondering what to put on my Substack for the coming week and then was sorting supper and it popped into my head so I wrote a 500 word pieces around memories of Christmas.

I also had more thoughts, after find the above, and from comments by Matt on yesterday’s post around the “How do you know?” thought which is similar to the fortune telling idea.

Too often we “know” what someone is thinking or why they have done X,Y or Z. But we don’t. We often don’t really know why we are doing what we are doing because much of it, I believe, is around triggers. For instance we suddenly lose our temper with someone, or a friend that we don’t lose our temper with but have horrid thoughts about, but we don’t really know why. Oh we do all the pondering and putting forward ideas to ourselves, generally that revolve around blaming them or ourselves, but it can be because what they said or did reminded us of a hurt from a parent, a teacher, a situation we were scared it. But instead of accepting we feel hurt, sad, whatever, we try to justify it.

Take this morning – I woke up feeling sad. Like really sad. And a bit snarky and looking for a fight. Thankfully it was only me, the dog and the cat about at that time. Though the cat can wind me up greatly at times!! The dog is an angel. Anyway I left the cat at home and took the dog for a walk in the dark just as the sun was waking behind the hills. Instead of trying to work out why I was feeling as I was – that whole thinking thing – I just accepted that this was how I felt and let it go.

A feeling is just a feeling. It is a chemical reaction in your body which, apparently takes only a few seconds to go through you unless … you decided to hold on to it and think about it.

So I’m not sure what was causing my feelings of sadness and crankiness but I know they’ve gone now because I didn’t chew them over and think about them I just accepted that was how I felt.

It saves so much time too. I’m not going over who might have said, or not said, done or not done, anything to me, or imagining what they are “really” thinking about me. For all I know my sad feeling this morning could have been because of a chemical imbalance that changed when I got out walking. Who knows? And I’m getting to the point of “Who cares?”

Though with all things, as Matt says about “How do you know?” it is “really hard in practice, though, because our brains are hardwired to make assumptions”. Though now there is a part of me that is going – is that our brains that are hardwired or is it our conditioning?

A thought for another time 🙂

And picture of the dog to finish with – especially for Gina who I know, and am not presuming, seconded guessing or fortune telling, loves my posts if I put a picture of Renly on them 🙂

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bonfire Captive

Take Every Thought Captive

Image from https://hgc.org.my/sermons/take-every-thought-captive/

It’s been a while since I’ve posted . Not because I haven’t had posts in my head but because it is that time of year – that time when one’s head if filled with Christmas stuff; what to get for who and when to send, and what Christmas cards to send to who and why, the whole food and drink thing, and what to do with the long enforced break for some. Head full of thoughts. I’ve also decided to start a Substack with my writing on it which I’ve told people I’ll post 2-3 times a week. I’ve done one week and got a growing following, including one paying subscriber so I probably need to do regular postings. Perhaps should have waited till the new year but ….

This post came from a picture on FB about taking thoughts captive, which I cannnot refind so can’t share the source of this thought with you but did find the lovely picture above. I’ve not read the post/sermon that accompanies it but do feel free if you wish.

Here is the whole Bible verse

We demolish arguments and every pretension …, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

How often do arguments occur because we have let our minds wander off on their own coming up with all sorts of scenarios for what the other person is thinking/feeling/intentions are? I’ve had it with the Christmas present shopping. Once I’ve bought something I go down the rabbit hole of “they won’t like it” “it is too much” “I should have bought X instead”.

I had a lovely challenge over the weekend. A friend had message to say she was off to the park and would meet me there. She was late and I’d bumped into another friend who’d suggested going to see the waves [it was the tail end of Storm Darragh]. Whilst I was on the beach with this friend the other friend phoned to say she was at the park. I told her where I was. It is a walk that leads back to the park but when I got back and phoned her she didn’t answer. I then messaged to say did she want to meet for coffee the following day. No answer. So my mind started its journey of “she doesn’t like me any more” “she’s scary when she’s angry” right the way through to “I’m not sure if I want to be her friend any more”. I then pulled myself together and started taking every one of those random thoughts captive. Because I like visual stuff I imagined these thoughts running like fish along the river of my mind [I think I’ve heard this in a sermon somewhere] and I speared them, gave them a quick look over, then throw them on to a bonfire. Eventually those random thoughts stopped coming and I was at peace with my decision to go to the beach instead of hanging around in the park and felt that all would work out as God/The Universe intended. The following day I got a text from her saying she wasn’t free when I’d said but what about later in the week. When we did meet she didn’t say anything about me going to the beach. It was all over.

How often though do we waste time on those random thoughts? How often do we take things and blow them up out of all proportion?

I could easily have built up arguments in my head about this friendship, built up pretensions. In a course I did about relieving stress this was called “fortune telling” – imagining a future when none of us know what the future looks like. Although this does seem to be what our media and much of social media focuses on – fear of what might happen. Capture those thoughts and throw them away. None of us knows the future. And we build up stress and stress leads of falling out with each other because we aren’t living in the reality that is now.

A couple of nights later I’d had too much sugar before going to bed and woke up with that whole worrying about X,Y and Z. I did the “taking every thought captive” and throwing it on the bonfire and as I did it I cleared the water of my mind, realised that it was a sugar rush going on, went to get a drink and accepted that this was what it was. I didn’t even do the “I shouldn’t have done eaten those sweets so close to bed”. Instead I just accepted that what was was.

I’m learning more and more to do this with other things. So with the presents and the Christmas cards I’ve written, I’m sending with love and a belief that they will be received with love. Because also all thoughts are not to be thrown on to the bonfire and got rid of. Some thoughts are lovely and need to be savoured. That is why it says to capture them but then make them obedient to the mind of Christ which is calm, peaceful, and filled with love.

River at Betws-y-coed September 2023 photographed by myself

Categories
families Stir Up Sunday

Changing Traditions

I was challenged by a friend about my origins of Stir Up Sunday from yesterday’s post. This is what comes, on my part, from going with tradition and hearsay rather than doing a bit of research myself. It wasn’t like I didn’t have the time as we still hiding inside from Storm Bert – which even though it sounds like a benign uncle caused a lot of damage and flooding across Wales. Even in our park the wind had pushed over 3 little fir trees which a friend and I helped to become upright again this morning.

Anyway it turns out the Stir Up Sunday originated from the 1549 Book of Common Prayer Collect for that day

Stir up, we beseech thee, O Lord, the wills of thy faithful people; that they, plenteously bringing forth the fruit of good works, may of thee be plenteously rewarded; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

But by the mid eighteenth century this Sunday had become the traditional Sunday for families to make their Christmas puds. Tradition states that all the family got together to do this. A real family affair before getting caught up with the busyness of Advent. It was also where the adults taught the children their family’s traditional Christmas pudding recipe. As with all things each family always puts their own twist on things.

I think this is a lovely mixture of being Jesus and family together. Too often in the Church we can almost separate families or at least family life. We come together to look at a person at the front tell us how we are meant to be with Jesus/God and often the children are whisk away to Sunday schools, along with the adults who will run those groups, and there is a separation between family tradition and hanging out with God.

So even though this might look like another thing that could be seen as secularisation I do wonder if it was more about keeping family connected and also keeping God in the centre of the family. I wonder if there was chat about that day’s sermon, or whether that gave family members, old and young, a chance to ask those awkward questions. I know my kids used to ask all sorts when either we were in the car [no eye contact] or cooking together. I ran a youth group where we used to play lego or do craft things and the subjects those young people were questioning and questioning where God fitted into them was amazing.

Sad statistic –

In a 2013 survey, two-thirds of British children reported that they had never experienced stirring Christmas pudding mix

So I do wonder if Stir Up Sunday, with the stirring of the puddings was a great way of “bringing forth the fruit of good works” and learning about what a life with Christ as King looks like for the whole family? And I wonder what we could put in now to replace that?

Categories
christmas first world dilemma Uncategorized

Christmas Present Buying

Back in 2013 both Damson and Renly “helping” with present unwrapping!!!

I’ve a sister-in-law who thinks it is too early to mention the Christmas word but with food and family to think of it is floating in my mind. The shops are ready and it is starting to appear on mailing lists. But here is the dilemma – where should one get one’s presents from?

I will definitely not do commercial stores or plastic tat. I get annoyed with those last minute presents bought from a supermarket on Christmas eve. But there are still dilemmas!

Do I get from a local business and support them with their income? Do I buy from a charity shop and so give money to their cause? Do I not buy any presents but do those gifts where one sends a goat or blankets or whatever to someone in the developing or war-torn world?

All three of those things are viable and all three of them are supportive. But which should I do?

I must say I do love a good Christmas market and can come home with lots of soaps and jams and cakes and things. I do love seeing someone opening a gift I have got for them. But also there are so many needs out there in the world, not just at Christmas, but throughout the year.

Where should I give my money? And who out of those I give gifts to should I get what for? Because I do know a few who would prefer something in their hands than something for someone else. I do know friends who run their own businesses who could do with me spending money on their stock.

Or do I just by lovely things for myself and decide I am the one who needs good cheer?

Categories
christmas turkey

What is Christmas all about?

As this is Christmas Eve this gives me time to wish you all a Peaceful Christmas, a time of rest and reflection, and a sense of acceptance, whether you are on your own, with family, having to go through tough times or enjoying life.

I’m off to be part of my favourite service of the whole of Christmas. The Christingle service. I love the words. I love the symbolism. I love that it is a service for children without being cringy and overly child focused. For me it is staying the true meaning of Christmas

Check out what it all means from this post from The Children’s Society who started the whole thing.

But I also wanted to fill you in on a bit of a family joke about me and turkeys. One year we did a road trip to see my husband’s family. I thought I was going to eat turkey till I burst but each household we reached informed us they had done their turkey the day before hand. We even caught up with my son and his then girlfriend in a pub to be told that they didn’t do turkey between Christmas and New Year because people were fed up of. Not me!!

I was quoted as saying “Christmas isn’t Christmas without turkey” which from someone who had never written hard hitting Christmas plays about the true meaning of Christmas would have be amusing but from myself who has spoken on the true meaning of Jesus coming into the world this is hilarious. And of course the phrase has stuck.

Well this is now where God’s amazing sense of humor come in. This year at the Christingle I am part of a group performing Benjamin Zephaniah’s Talking Turkeys.

I am doing the first long verse and saying

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas
Cos’ turkeys just wanna hav fun
Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked
An every turkey has a Mum.
Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,
Don’t eat it, keep it alive,
It could be yu mate, an not on your plate
Say, Yo! Turkey I’m on your side.
I got lots of friends who are turkeys
An all of dem fear christmas time,
Dey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it
An humans are out of dere mind,
Yeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys
Dey all hav a right to a life,
Not to be caged up an genetically made up
By any farmer an his wife.

At the same time as having roasted my 10lb+ turkey that only myself and my husband are going to eat as both my children aren’t able to make it up for Christmas. A slight touch of irony there.

Whatever your “must have” at Christmas is do enjoy it no matter what amazingly fantastic poets have to say about it 🙂

Categories
christmas newsletter

The Dilemma Of The Round Robin Christmas Newsletter

Here are a selection of photos from the second half of my year!

It’s that time of year when people start emailing or posting their Christmas catch up newsletters. With that there is the dilemma of how much do you believe and how much do you read between the lines, and that depends very much on how well you know the person. And probably how cynical you are 🙂

I’m never sure if I like them or not. I do love the ones from friends that I have had a glimpse of their comings and going throughout the year and that are honest about how their year has been.

I know at one time I did find it hard when I’d get a letter from someone who had been too busy to catch up during the year and then whose newsletter was full of the amazing achievements their children had done. It would make me feel inadequate and feel like either I or my children were failing. I do wish I had had some QEC healing at this time because I know now that a lot of what I felt was my issues not theirs. A lot came from that having to be doing and pushing so I was not in second place. I think I saw, and I think some of them were, that elbowing to show they and their offspring were elbowing their way to first place. I needed to let that go and be healed and to know what I know now that being the support act is ok so long as I am being my full creative self.

But then there is the dilemma of “do I send one too?” Some people put on theirs that they love hearing other people’s news but others don’t. I used to be an avid newsletter sender. At times I even shared my newsletters on this WordPress site. Now I’m not so sure.

When I was a single mum I used to get my children to do a paragraph each of the highlights of their year. The problem was they are like me and only remember so much. I am very much a “live in the present and walk forward” person. I do forget sometimes what I did last week unless it is memorable. 🙂 But things have changed. The children have left home and I have a husband who works very hard. Also I do forget to ask him to do something when he’s not doing something else!!!

I did write a very upbeat newsletter which I may or may not send. But how long should it be? What should I put in? What should I leave out? Does anyone really care where we went on holiday this year? Or that I started 2023 without a job and am finishing without a job but did have one for 8 months in between? And also all those people who probably do care probably know anyway.

So I reach the end of this with no decision on whether to do one or not, but whilst procrastination on the subject I had fun doing this – Highlights of 2023 picture

Categories
christmas mindfulness

Advent! Preparing!

View from my window. December letting us know it has arrived by giving us our first real frost of the year. Taken by myself 1st Dec 2023

I am going to be honest – like I am most of the time on here – I struggle with all this Advent prep, all this talk of preparing for Christmas, all this having decorations out more than a week before Christmas, etc. So whilst I was walking I was pondering why do I feel like that.

Since doing more of this QEC stuff and the ANSing I have realised that for every thing that feels like a “gut reaction” there is generally something in me that causes it. Sometimes it can be from my past but sometimes it can be just from who I am or from the emerging me.

So some of the reason I struggle with this long lead up to things is that I am not very good at keeping something up for six weeks unless there is someone keeping an eye on me doing it, some sort of reward. So if I do a devotional book I get fed up after a while. With NaNoWriMo I managed until 23rd November, which is a record for me, but couldn’t make it to 30th. Fault in me? Or just how I am?

I am trying to live in the moment, be mindful, enjoy the now – to listen to that still small voice of God/The Universe/my heart – and not be rushing off to the next thing, which I think is what is bugging me about there being so so much chatter from Church, shops, media, and even some TV programs already having decorations up.

My daughter asked me yesterday if I’d got anywhere with Christmas present shopping because son and his wife had asked us what we wanted about 2 weeks ago! I had to say that I hadn’t given it much thought as there had been other things going on – preparing my husband to go off to America for 10 days work this week, my lodger leaving to go to her newly bought flat, thinking of when to visit my Mum before Christmas, getting used to not working, and just enjoying life in the slow lane.

For me with Christmas, when my children were little we used to wait till 1st December to start any form of Christmas talk. [Even now they are only allowed to talk about their birthdays a month before the event] So there were no home school Christmas activities till 1st or talk of presents or what we were going to do or anything. Decorations would go up around 19th December and it would be a thing we did together. Yes because I was on a very low income I used to have various savings schemes in the butchers, the supermarket, the toy shop, saving from January. But the event itself didn’t enter the fray till 1st December. Whereas this year I feel like from every angle, whether Christian or secular, I am being bombarded with Christmas – from giving to buying to thinking about how to spreading good cheer.

One of the big things about helping with one’s mental health is to live in the moment, to enjoy today for today, to be mindful of the now rather than worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. But what I feel with all this Christmas prep hype, whether good things or not, is that it is starting earlier and earlier and so we are living in the “oh my goodness it’s coming” state of mind rather than, like a good holiday, knowing it is around the corner but not making it a big thing until it gets closer.

As I saw on FB this morning, someone was saying how they are grateful every day and live in today so why should they be doing this end of year stuff. [Interestingly even this end of year stuff is coming earlier and earlier each year. At one time things like Sports Personality of the Year, film reviews for the year, music reviews of the year, etc would all happen in the week between Christmas and New Year or even in the first few days on the new year. ]

So I am not being a Scrooge and I do like Christmas but please, please, please can we start to have all the Christmas hype – whether from Church or elsewhere – nearer to the day rather than 6 or more weeks in advance?

Categories
christmas Mary

Mary

Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

I was pondering a piece by Ordinary Pilgrim this morning around Mary and icons from from Medieval European female monasteries that open up to show Mary with anything from just Jesus to the whole Trinity growing within her

Externally, she is portrayed as a simple mother; on the inside she hosts the mysteries of heaven. 

https://www.ordinarypilgrim.co.uk/blog

So I got to letting my thoughts flow through my pen and what struck me is how we have turned this simple, ordinary teenage girl into something super human; have taken something that could have happened to anyone who was willing into an hierarchical structure with, depending on denomination, either priests and vicars, or with pastors and a pastoral team.

Mary was so amazingly ordinary and yet too often people are not allowed to believe this could happen to them. Or have to take it through a leader of some sort – whether vicar or church pastor or whatever the denomination calls those who stand at the front.

The amazingness, for me, of the Incarnation is that it came to an ordinary young woman in an ordinary town. I’ve often wondered if Mary was the first person the angel came to or whether there were others who said No? It is Mary’s willingness that is amazing. But also each of us can grow something of God within us and take it out into the world. We don’t have to be gifted orators, or want to win everyone over to be a signed up follower of Christ. But each of us can willingly say “I have God living within me and I can take that wherever I go”.

I wonder if the line “your kingdom come, your will be done“, which too often we prayer much too quickly but also see as for something bigger, actually is “let that little seed of you, God, that is growing in me come to fruition today”.

So as I pondered what is being birthed in me this season I also prayed for all who profess a faith in Jesus, and even those who don’t, that they would allow what God has within them grown to be something as amazing as Mary allowed.

Jesus does say we will go on to do more amazing things than he did. Maybe, just maybe, that is allowing God’s incarnation in each of us to grow unhindered into all it is meant to be. Not held back by the culture of our churches, our church leaders, our families, our own hearts that can’t believe God would do that with us. And I also prayed for all church leaders of whatever denomination, whatever stream, that they would not get caught up in the machinations of leading their congregations and be able to let the seed of God that is within them grow into whatever it is God wants it to be.

Mary did not know what Jesus would be like when she said Yes to God’s proposal. She did not know what would come next. In fact she did not even know is she would live through the birth of this child – death in childbirth was very common up until very recently. But she said yes. Am I willing to say yes to this seed that God has inside of me whatever happens to me? Are you?