Tag: acceptance

Categories
Contentment joy

What Should I do With My Life?

I often hear people say “What should I do with my life?” or “What is God’s plan for my life?”. There are loads of courses on how to find out your giftings, your motivations, your best traits, your career prospects, and that doesn’t include the many life coaches out there to help with this. But this quote from a story posted on Fictive Dream really struck me. I’m not sure if this is what the author intended but it is what I got!

The basic story is of a young woman talking to a wizard to find out what she should be doing with her life as she feels like she is at a crossroads, and of how her intention is to be happy.

‘Your work is all that you do, while you’re here. The price of happiness is to remember this each day of your life.’

The Wand Maker by Mike Fox Read more by Mike on https://www.polyscribe.co.uk/

What struck me was that it isn’t what you do but knowing that all you do is what you do. “Your work is all that you while you are here”. Everything we do, whether we intend to do it or not is the “work of our lives/the plan God has for us/our destiny“. And that if we can remember this we will be happy.

So we roll out of bed in the morning and know that from this moment on what we do is our life’s work whether that is writing a blog, walking the dog, chatting with the woman in the shop, gazing out the window, solving the climate crisis, sending that email, doing nothing, reading a book, [add in whatever you’ve been doing this morning/afternoon/evening/yesterday/last week/tomorrow].

EVERYTHING WE DO IS THE WORK WE ARE TO DO WHILST WE ARE HERE ON THIS EARTH.

And if we can remember this then we can be content and happy.

I’ve put the two photos of my dog at the start of this post because whatever he does he is happy whether is it running on the beach or sleeping on the floor cushion he does it wholeheartedly, with joy, with happiness. I’ve just taken him in the car to the pet shop where we got out, bought dog food and bird food and came home again. He was so happy to be out with me in the car. He is now snoring on the cushion with happiness.

So without thinking, without planning, can I just accept that what I do is the work I’ve been sent to do? Can you? Can we all accept that there is maybe not grand plan for our lives accept to be content in all things?

I often think the greatest witness a Christian, or a follower of any other way of life, can show is not their preaching or evangelising but that they love where they are, what they are part of, radiate an inner peace and contentment and don’t have to keep arguing it and expecting everyone to agree. I know I started walking towards God because of what I saw in others not because of what they preached.

So whether it is following Jesus, being a vegetarian, moving to another part of the country, doing what we do, do it with happiness, with contentment, with peace, with job. Because this life is all we have, let us enjoy walking in it.

Categories
peace Tolerance

The Twelfth of July

First appeared on GodspaceLight The Twelfth of July

I find days where one remembers things fascinating. The mixture of things that different people remember on different days. Like the post I did back in February where cleaning out for Lent, loving your pet and social justice were all “celebrated” together.

A strange juxtapose happens again every 12th July, or has since about 2014 when it was decided to use this day to celebrate/commemorate Malala Yousafzai, the amazing young woman who at 17 was shot by the Taliban for advocating and encouraging female education in Pakistan. From around 1795 within the Irish Protestant communities 12th July was the day to celebrate William of Orange’s defeat of the last ever Catholic king of Britain, James II. A victory that is best remembered for passing that law that “no future monarch could be a Catholic or be married to a Catholic” as opposed to the establishment of a parliamentary democracy, representing a shift from an absolute monarchy to parliamentary monarchy.

I had written quite a ranty post about oppression, freedom, holding on to fears and hatreds but after reading both Lily Lewin’s post on Friday 30th June about praying for one’s country and Steve Wickham’s post about tolerance and hospitality in reconciliation I had a change of heart.

I still think that even those commemoration dates might look random God, somewhere in their infinite wisdom, wants to teach us something. Also, I believe, things don’t just happen by coincidence. So I was meant to read those two Godspace articles and I was meant to be wanting to write about 12th July and I know about both the events of the 12th July Orange marches and Malala Yousafzai. So what is God trying to say?

I think it is about praying with an open heart and not a closed heart. We need to have tolerance and hospitality within our hearts w hen we pray as much as when we open our homes to others. I wonder when Jesus said about letting in the beggars etc for a meal that he may have meant having our hearts open to those people rather than having already judged and boxed them into what we think we know already.

What if with the Taliban instead of praying that they cease to exist we prayed not just enlightenment but a full realisation of God and all that means in their land, in their culture. We must remember that is wasn’t that long ago that women in Western countries were deprived of education, of voting rights, of rights with their own money and property, were seen as second-class citizens. Also it was not that long ago when slavery was thought of as just part of God’s plan. And even though most Christians don’t advocate slavery hope often do we turn a blind eye?

So instead of condemning let us ask God in prayer, what is the real desire for these peoples who are remembered whether through Orange marches, through thinking of Malala, and of all the other “celebrations” that occur during July.

I often get a little pang in my heart when I am with Americans who are celebrating 4th of July and wonder what things would have been like for the UK, the US and rest of the world if a form of interdependence had been sort then rather than independence.

I often think that instead of being triumphalistic at this time, whether with the Orange Marches, the remembering of Malala and feeling superior to groups like the Taliban, of the various Independence Days that occur in July, we humble ourselves and pray.

As God clearly says in 2 Chronicles 7:14 that if we, God’s people, who are called to pray for the nations, for ourselves and for others, really humble ourselves, pray, seek God’s face, turn from our self-righteous, know-it-all, fearful, greedy, self-seeking ways, then God will hear us, will forgive us and then will heal the land, whether this is just our town, our country or our whole world. Remember our land is this whole earth we stand on.

When it comes to anything from Northern Ireland’s marching season, the Taliban and their issues with female education, and all the other issues that cover our earth, are we willing first and foremost to humble ourselves and say “God what do you really want me to pray?” Then are we prepared to be silent, to listen, to allow God’s tolerance, generosity and hospitality sweep over us and so it can then pour forth to the nations?

Categories
Ancient Ways walking

Take The Right Path

Taken on this morning’s walk at Abergwyngregen nature reserve by myself

“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls

Jeremiah 6:16

What is the good way to walk? Too often I hear people say that they are at a crossroads and are waiting for God to tell them where to go. The more I go on this God journey the more I think God doesn’t worry too much where I go but how I go.

When the people in the Jeremiah story hear this from God they are not so much in the wrong place but are walking in the wrong way. The “ancient paths” are about walking in truth, in justice, in love, in supporting each other, encouraging each other, looking out for each other, being kind, generous, not being fearful, trusting that God knows the best way.

God doesn’t care what I do or where I go so long as I am walking it out in these ways. Each time I take on more than I should I have become fearful, stopped trusting, and also I get tired and snappy. I’m not being supportive and encouraging to those around me. I slide into wanting to fit in rather than looking for truth and justice. I start moving in logic rather than with my heart. I worry more – about money, about what other people think, about whether I’m “doing the right thing.”

But when I am on those “ancient paths” of truth, justice, love, trust, generosity, am not fearful, etc, then I can hear my heart more, can wander along and look at the flowers, the scenery, hear the birds, hear God, feel free and safe. I can have time to just be rather than to worry about what I’m doing.

Today I had a lovely time. I decided to go on one of my favourite walks. I took photos, enjoyed listening to the dog scampering around, and allowed my heart to chew over something I needed to sort. Interestingly the solution that I felt was not what I expected. But that was because I had let go of my logical side and was into heart mode. I also let go of my plans for after the walk. Usually my “plan” is to go for breakfast and coffee in a cafe after but I just felt my heart tell me to go home. I felt such peace and doing what I believed was the “ancient path” for this morning.

We are always at crossroads. Every moment of every day we have to decide whether to walk out in fear, in logic, in oughts and shoulds, or to walk out in truth and justice and love. And sometimes that can mean doing the self same thing but with a different heart attitude.

I believe it is our hearts that set the energy that buzzes off of us and touches others. What do we want to touch others? What do we want others to touch us with?

Categories
Listening Still

Relearning!

made by https://www.sethceramics.co.uk/

I’m sure I’m not the only human being who is a bit thick at times. Yes I talk about listening with my heart but as it says somewhere in the bible “The heart is fickle” or something like that. Well I’m not sure about you but my heart can get lost in its own stuff at times and it takes a few things to nudge it out again. And the nudges came in shed loads over the weekend.

As you know I’ve got this part time job 4 afternoons a week. It is great. It is right. It also helps that the rotas are not confirmed until the Friday of the previous week so I cannot get into planning because I don’t know when I’ll get that day off. The last couple of weeks it has been a Wednesday but the couple of weeks previous it was a Friday and who knows what for next week. So I have to be patient and wait.

I said to someone when I got this job that it was good because it meant I would have to say No to things but instead I have been filling up those mornings with things. Made all the more sneaky in that they are great things, all of which felt right. But what all these great things did was not only did they stopped me writing they also stopped me from pondering, from thinking, from knowing how I felt.

I managed to justify it all by saying to myself that these were the right things to do. In fact a couple of them were things I had been hoping to do for years. Why is it sometimes those things you had set your heart on are not what you should be doing? At least not at this moment in time because they get in the way of the bigger thing.

The bigger thing in my writing. Not just these blogs but the other projects that need peculating time. But not just that. I have also learned that I need, like we all do really, to have time to feel my feelings and to really know my heart.

It is always interesting how taking time out to know ourselves and be the best version of ourselves is so overlooked!

So on Saturday I’m at a writing workshop and am saying to one of the group that I haven’t written much and she almost gives me reassurance that this is ok because we are all busy. My heart jumped. Busy is a key word and so I tucked it away.

Then on Sunday we went to a ceramics show. Firstly I chatted to a woman who now makes huge slab bird baths and she told me her story; of how she had once been a renowned collectable potter but had felt a call to something else and she’d had to spend time pondering until she found out how all her things connected. Again I felt that heart bump and had to stop and write down the key things that she said

Follow your interests. It is your interests that will take you where you should go. But take time out to find what they really are. It is about being brave enough to take time out.

Then I came across a lady who made the Caretaker bird in the photograph. Some of the info about these birds says how they came out in lockdown but now have disappeared. This bird is about resting, being, drinking tea, listening. I could not leave it behind. I was going to keep it in my study but it now sits on the hall table so I see it as I come and go. And it reminds me to take things slower, to listen, to drink tea, to be rather than do, to have time to look around, to not have to fill my day, my diary, with stuff.

I sat on the grass, wrote a bit on the backs of the business cards I’d picked up and listened to God/The Universe as my husband continued round talking to potters. I realised again I had filled my time so I did not have to listen to my emotions. They had been telling me for a while to give up a voluntary position but I had been ignoring it because I really wanted to do this. But I had to listen when I was getting bombarded on all sides to slow down.

So I cancelled something that only took up 2 mornings of my week but actually took up a lot of my headspace. Once I had made that decision emotions around a family thing came flooding in. All I could say was it was like slit being disturb on the river bed. Now if I hadn’t stopped this thing I think the slit would have stayed put. I think that’s why we keep busy. To stop the slit being disturbed. But the silt isn’t good. It stops the river of me from flowing freely.

So I’ve put in place some QEC time and also been able to spend the last 2 mornings pondering and being. I have felt such peace and not having to fit things in around other stuff. Pondering isn’t something you can fit in anyway. Neither is listening to your heart.

Yes we do all have things we have to do but too often we fill our days up with things we think we ought to do – to look good, to be busy, to feel we belong, etc. Stopping does hurt for a bit but it is better to know and to feel truly than to keep blundering through and taking one’s unhealed bits forward into something new.

I know I’ll falter at this. I know I’ll fill time up again. But I am hoping Beaty, the Caretaker bird on my hall table will keep reminding me of my true purpose.

Categories
regret whole

It’s Not You It’s Me!

Reminded me of a bridge a didn’t cross! Isle of Bute May 2023 photographed by me

After writing Saturday’s post I was reminded of something I regretted. Something I did not take on board as a lifestyle and I wondered why.

Over the course of my Christian life I have done various Christian healing courses – Freedom in Christ, Sozo to name but two. Yet when I started with QEC I was dismissive of these. I must say I just thought it was because QEC was a better fit for me, and at times was maybe a better tool. But I realised recently it was me.

I was expecting someone to “fix me”, to do the work for me, to be my ‘parent’ in all this. Even when I started QEC I wanted my practitioner to be that person I could turn to, be my ‘best friend’, be the one to remind me of what I had to do and when things went wrong I could go to her and she would sort things.

The longer I’ve been doing QEC [4 years now] the more I’ve realised that in fact it is about me not about my practitioner. This whole QEC stuff will not become a lifestyle unless I take the responsibility – not my QEC practitioner, not the Freedom in Christ book or group leader, not the Sozo facilitator, not the person who prays with me, not my church leader, not my husband, not my friends, etc, etc. In fact not even God/The Universe.

All this came about from something that was triggered the other day from something on Facebook of all places. It has made me realise how the things I did with the other healing type ministries were stepping stones to where I am now and I am grateful for that. And grateful for the style of those healing ministries. But also I realised that QEC and ANSing have been working for me because I do not expect someone else to take responsibility for me. I have. somewhere along the line, let go of needing to be a part of something, to be something special in the group, expect someone to care about what I am doing.

I looked back just now on the emails I have saved from when I started QEC and I was having to message in between sessions to say how I was doing. I do now WhatsApp my practitioner but there isn’t quite that “need” now.

So I now realise that I did not get the full benefit from those other forms of healing, not because they weren’t as good, but because I was not as ready to be solid, safe human being and know that working together with God/The Universe and the tools from these healing type things I could stand on my own.

That isn’t in an independent “I don’t need anyone” individualistic way. But in an “I am a whole person and these are things that are helping me become more whole and solid myself”

Categories
choice lifestyle

Lifestyle

Isle of Bute May 2023 photographed by myself

Since doing QEC I have come to realise that it is the things you do regularly that become your lifestyle and it is what you choose to be healed of that helps that lifestyle. Also sometimes, I believe, you hold on to things because actually you quite like them – whether that be a way of looking at life or what you do.

The apostle Paul says about “praying continuously” [1 Thess 5:17] and I remember thinking how that must be impossible. That was because I saw prayer as something set apart, as being something one does with ones eyes closed. But once I worked out that prayer is just a jargon word for chatting with God/being with God I realised I could do this all the time. It has become my lifestyle to know that God is with me all the time and that I can talk with them or not as I feel. And sometimes it is things like “did you just read that text/email/hear that conversation with X? Can we focus on that a wee bit? Can you work with that?” type of conversation. But actually that is no different to conversations with friends, family, spouse, where we can be together talking or not talking and then the conversations veers towards something specific. Same thing.

So one part of my lifestyle is to know that God is with me all the time.

Another part is that I am working on the whole thing of The Lord’s Prayer and specifically the “daily bread” and the “forgiving self and others” parts. So when I feel myself getting anxious or into planning mode I breath, bring my autonomic nervous system back into regulation, and remind myself that what I really need for today will be there. Ok yes I forget but I am working on it.

I’m also after an argument or a time when I’ve done something wrong/upsetting/not right or when someone has done that to me I forgive myself and them. This clears the slate for me to carry on.

As my desk diary says for June “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today” For me that works by forgiving myself and others and by knowing my daily needs will be met.

Another thing that is not a chore/a job to be done is the ANSing. The getting my autonomic nervous system into regulation and balance whenever it flips out. And let me tell you once you get aware of this it happens quite often. Before discovering this whole ANS thing when I felt anxious/fight/flight/freeze/fawn/angry/etc I used to try to do an analysis of what was wrong, what was upsetting me, who had said what and why – very much looking with my logical mind. The more I’ve done with QEC the more I’ve come to realise that some of it I might never know. I might have been a gesture, a smell, a taste, a word, that set off a memory buried in my subconscious that made my adrenalin race and it was so buried that I would never find out why. Or I was just overtired or hungry or both. Very often I would finish up either blaming myself for losing it or blaming the other person for upsetting me. But now my lifestyle choice is to ANS, forgive and let it go.

I am not perfect and I do forget. But what I’ve realised are these are not “things I ought to do to make me a better person” but things I chose to do and how I want my life to be.

My QEC practitioner talks a lot about self-help books and how she sees them as not helpful because there is a lot of psyching someone’s self up to “be a better person” and I agree. But also I think if in reading these books one picks up something that one chooses to become a natural lifestyle choice, not something you feel you “have to” do [remember I am against have tos and ought tos and should dos], then go for it.

I journal because it frees my mind. Although I used to journal to figure things out. Once I let myself run free then it was just another way to get my ANS into balance.

So for me ANSing, forgiving, believing God/The Universe will supply what they know I need daily, and allowing myself to be in a place of constant communication with God/The Universe is not something I have to do but something I just do. It is as much a lifestyle choice as walking my dog, drinking beer in the sunshine and hanging out with my friends. All of which keep me sane and at peace with the world. But also I think it only works when one does it as an “enjoy doing” rather than a “have to”.

Categories
Freeing plans

Planning!

Stratford on Avon May 2023 photographed by myself

[This blog is inspired by a Jane Evans podcast on Facebook from this morning]

I used to be a mega planner. I’d have everything down to the last detail and would stick to it. Unfortunately I’ve passed this on to my children, especially my son.

Why do I say “unfortunately”? Because I am discovering, the more I do QEC, that arch-planning isn’t a good thing. It leads to stress.

As you may have caught on I’ve been enjoying being caught in the lines of the Lord’s Prayer for a while now. It has become my “go to” with the lines “give us today our daily bread” and “forgive us as we forgive others” being key lines.

We were in Guildford for my nephew’s wedding over the bank holiday weekend and the line that came to me before leaving was “I am loved unconditionally each moment of every day, I am safe because I can trust God/the Universe to meet all my needs day by day”

I repeated this as we hurtled down the motorway with huge lorries thundering along. I said it was we were rushing to meet up with my Mum the evening before the wedding and then was ok when we only saw her for 10 mins before she was whisked off it meet her grandson’s new family. The big one was then on Saturday morning when I got up with the dog and he couldn’t open and eye and was refusing food. For Renly to refuse food is a biggie. Well this is where I saw God/the Universe had my back. Our Airbnb host had dogs so recommended her vets which was the only vets in Guildford that were open as normal on a Saturday so no huge emergency fee. We got an appointment for 10.30 which gave us time to go, give the drops to the dog, pick up my daughter and walk to the wedding venue on time. The Airbnb hosts then popped in on Renly during the afternoon and messaged to say he was doing great. And now he is back to normal.

Each time and change of plan, each curve ball thrown, would at one time have sent me into a downward spiral of angst but instead, when I felt my panics coming I calmed myself, brought my autonomic nervous system back into a place of calm and repeated that “I was safe and I could trust God/the Universe to sort things as they knew best”.

On a lesser note today things looked hectic and I had prayed into them and found a calm way through. Then a friend had to cancel our morning meeting. Now again at one time this would have made me angry that they had cancelled because I had spent so long making plans but instead I took a breath, repeated that I “knew the plans God/the Universe had for me” and then waited. Suddenly I had two hours spare in my morning so I asked my heart what it wanted to do. Well what surprised me was the urge to clean the kitchen and wash the kitchen floor. Now as we all know this is often a “have to” chore. Well today it was a joy and a blessing. I finished feeling proud of my gleaming kitchen but also knowing that I had followed my heart.

I know why I used to have to plan. I did it because I needed to feel secure, to feel safe. Now I am secure within myself and the outside world can spin around me and I latch on when my heart leads me to.

A couple of years ago I wrote a piece called Freelancing, in which I extol the virtues of “going for it as a freelancer”. But it was a lot of a pushing for doors to open, for people to notice me, of getting upset when they didn’t. In the last couple of months that has changed. I felt led to take on an afterschool club job four afternoons a week and from there things just seem to have opened up. Those things I was pushing for are coming to me – working with young people, leading writing groups, etc. I think it is because I have stopped planning and pushing for them. Now I am open to see what comes and how it fits into the things I am doing. I am also sure that because I didn’t plan to take the afterschool club job but went because my heart led me that this is why I am happily enjoying it.

Since stopping planning I feel so much more secure than I ever did before. So go on give it a go. Explore those things that hold you back. Trust your heart. Trust God/the Universe.

Categories
Biblical Cultural Diversity

21st May – World Cultural Diversity Day

This post first appeared on Godspacelight.com on 20th May 2023

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Interestingly in planning for this something else popped up and I wrote a piece around King Charles’ coronation to do with cultural diversity. As a good detective says “there’s no such thing as coincidences” and my QEC practitioner is always saying how things come up for a reason that we need to explore. 

So what does come to mind when we talk about “cultural diversity”? What picture/image comes to mind?  And what does cultural diversity look like? 

Meaning according to https://www.dictionary.com/ 

  • the cultural variety and cultural differences that exist in the world, a society, or an institution: Dying languages and urbanization are threats to cultural diversity.
  • the inclusion of diverse people in a group or organization: to embrace cultural diversity in the workplace.

The Modern Cockney Festival looks at how the culture of Cockneys, which was originally a word used for those born within the sound of Bow Bells in London, has morphed and changed and come to embrace all those who feel they can relate to some of the cockney traditions. There are other events like this that are for people who feel they relate to those traditions, cultures or similar, that at one time certain races, genders or creeds may not have. 

There are differences in cultures that we need to recognise, honour and celebrate and I believe we are getting better and better are recognising the big differences, but what about the more subtle ones? 

I live in North Wales and when we moved here we did think that the only differences were between Welsh and English, but the longer we’ve lived here and the more people we have come to know we have found that there are much more subtleties within the land than we originally envisaged. Many of which can get lost within the bigger picture. We’ve had both Anglican church parish boundaries and electoral boundaries changed recently due to population density. But there is a major cultural difference between those who live on the coast and those who live in hills, those who live nearer the English border and those who live on the Western reaches, those who live in the large towns and those who live in isolated villages. Within a population of just over three million people there is a great range of diversities. 

I lived in Belfast in 1996-7 which gave me a feel there for the cultural diversity of the city and the surrounding countryside. I got to know people who were Protestant and Catholic, Unionist and Loyalist, who had moved to the city from a village where everyone knew each other and those who lived in the city but also knew each other. Belfast in the mid 1990s was like no city I’ve ever lived in before. I cannot comment about the rest of Northern Ireland because I never made it over to Londonderry or into the hinterland. The population of Northern Ireland is less than two million and yet so diverse. 

Having lived in both these places I have seen how especially government or media do not honour the diversity of these nations but make judgement calls about what they need as a whole, what they want as a whole, and even what these people think as a whole. There is no space for different wants and needs. 

I know too that I am guilty of this with Native American tribes, with people who live in India, Asia, and all those myriad of countries I have never visited and never had the time to really get to know. Yet Revelation 7:9 says 

After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from EVERY nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands 

I think the reason the bible says “multitude” is because then no one can give an exact figure. I think this is because God understands and knows each different group of people however big or small, however diverse, and is going to make sure they are fully represented in heaven. 

Note the word EVERY in there. Not most, not a few of, not even the majority, but EVERY nation, tribe, people and language will be there whether here on earth they have been recognised at all. 

I believe that we need to stop lumping people into easier to handle homogeneous groups believing we know what they want or need or think but we all need to start listening to, talking to and really finding out how we can all fit together but still stay cultural diverse. 

I think we also all need to be true to our own cultural diversity and who we fit with. I’m working with people who are between 15 and 40 years younger than me. Even those who are 15 years younger than me are of a different generation, have different values, different tastes, remember different music and TV programs. I have to accept that even though I am friends with them I also have a different culture that I relate to and fit comfortably into. 

I do think too often we try to find a homogeneous whole that we can fit into instead of enjoying the over laps. There is nothing to be afraid of in being cultural different to someone whether they are in our street, town, workplace, country, or that we never meet at all. God says “EVERY nation, tribe, people and language” will be standing shoulder to shoulder praising. We’re not going to have to conform to a “holy homogeneous huddle” but will be able to enjoy our different hues, words, styles, etc in heaven. Maybe we could start doing it now.  But also realise how much overlap there is.

How many cultural groups do you belong to? 

Categories
Coronation Cultural Diversity

Cultural Diversity

I’ve been writing a piece for Godspace for World Cultural Diversity Day on 21st May but realised, after having my daughter to stay this past week, that this weekend in the UK is going to be quite culturally diverse.

It is the coronation of King Charles III. There are mixed reviews on what sort of person he is but also there are people coping with getting used to change after having Queen Elizabeth II for over 70 years. Most of us have not known another monarch.

There are some people lining the route of the coronation parade already. Some have been there for a few days so they can get a good space. The mood is joyous and hopefully they won’t get too wet. But then there are others putting up angry tweets about fascism, some angry that a country struggling to support those on low incomes can afford this pageantry, others who are still angry about the ending of his marriage to Princess Diana. There are also some who don’t really care one way or the other. For them is it another public holiday in a month that had two public holidays already so they are either pleased about that or frustrated at having to fit things in to a shorter working week, or having to work harder over the weekend because they are in hospitality or various support services.

The division of those excited by, those angry by and those indifferent too covers all ages, races, religions, genders. There is no one group who can say “all our people think x”. There is a diversity within the diverse groups.

But what I have noticed is that there is not chatting between the groups. Each are putting their stuff up on social media or doing their thing without a thoughts to why others think and feel how they do.

Bunting knitted by my Mum outside her house

This would be a good place, a safe place, to start a conversation about diversity, but it won’t happen. I wonder why not? A thought from my QEC practitioner about something else but that fits in with this is that sometimes people feel so unsafe due to unresolved issues that they would rather keep the other person in the “bad box” by whatever means than chat through differences.

I agree but also even if you are the calm one it can be difficult to talk to someone because the other person is so scared that they can come over as violent, angry, not willing to talk, or maybe not even sure what they really think. If we are too anxious we are in defense mode and so cannot hear anyone else because we need to keep our barriers firmly in place. The only way that will change is if each and everyone of us can admit that we should not be in this highly tense state and be able to heal.

Wouldn’t it have been lovely if this had been the weekend to start on this healing process but instead the dysfunctional British royal family has its own issues it needs to sort. Much of which came out in Prince Harry’s book. And many of these issues are fueled by the media across the globe who like to report the bad rather than the good.

So I pray and leave it to God to work on each and everyone of us to let go and find that true inner peace that is so important to the healing of this world.

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Belong judging

Judging to Belong

Husband and son enjoying karting for son’s birthday. Lots of judging went on during this afternoon as we watched groups of other people also enjoying their day. Many were stage and hen parties. March 2023. Photo taken by myself

I think this might fit in with the last few blogs.

I’ve been pondering judging others and Jesus comment about “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged” Matthew 7:1-2. Yet we do all judge on a regular basis. We are continually putting others into that “good box/bad box” But I think we do it so we can be safe, because we’re scared.

It is easier to make a judgement call on others than really get to know them, easier to put them in a box than lift the lid on them. But I think that is because we want to belong.

Jesus as that we will be judged in the same way as we judge others. I think too often we’ve thought of that as God doing the judging but I think it is each and everyone of us. So if I think of myself with my own internal labels of good/bad behaviour, of what makes a good Christian/writer/person of my age/add your own then I judge that person over there as being either part of my clique or not then I decide if I am going to like them or not, if I am going to let them get close or not. But I do it all much more for my benefit than for theirs. I want to be surrounded by people who will affirm my beliefs, behaviours, tastes, etc so that I have a group I am apart of.

I think there are not just Christian denominations but others groups, but it is the Christian ones I know best, who say if you do x then you are a better Christian than those over there. If you get involved and do things, behave like someone else, but in actuality it is when we are truly who we were made to be, our genuine selves, that we belong fully, especially to God.

I’ve just started a new job four afternoons a week. It is the first job I have ever had, I think, where I haven’t wanted to “fit it” and because of that I am being my genuine self. Yes it has helped that I have got rid of some of the things that held me back from being genuine. I am finding that I am really enjoying the job and I think that is because, even though I am hearing that things are not perfect and that there are things that the old-needing-to-fit-in-me would have been hurt by, I am not judging, but also not needing to temper myself to be “part of the clique”.

There is a freedom in not judging others, in not being fearful of not fitting in with culture one is in. It is not stepping out of the culture but not needing to be part of it, or even not needing to oppose it. Opposing is a judgement call as much as needing to know the “rules” to fit in.

The need to judge other and to belong is a survival mechanism but there is so much more freedom in not having to judge and being one’s genuine, authentic self.

Much of this post came from thoughts I had from a video and newsletter from the daughter of friends of mine who is on mission with Ywam in the Pacific. I felt the only way to end this was by taking a quote from our email conversation.

“I think it is very common to want to do things to get peoples validation and feel like you belong. But in the Kingdom of God you belong by simply abiding. My friend, Julie, introduced me to the song abide by kingdom culture. I love it! It says “there’s no striving, just abiding“, how beautiful that all we have to do is abide in the Lord. And with abiding in the Lord comes being yourself and not having to worry.”

Amaris, Ywam Ships Kona. April 2023