Tag: faith

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faithful fruitful

Be Faithful

Faithful little dog. No apology if I’ve shared this photo before. He is so cute and he is so faithful

Well done good and faithful servant

Matthew 25:23

There is a lot of stuff in organised church about doing things, being busy, making a difference. But you know sometimes life is just hard work and you have to just sit it out, stay faithful to God, stay in the place God’s put you and wait it out.

I did a piece ages and ages ago about a how cormorants have to wait with their wings stretched out drying before they can go back and get more food. Even if they have a nest full of babies they have to be faithful to how they are made and wait until their wings are dry before they dive for more fish.

If God/our hearts tell us to rest then we must be faithful to that and not go rushing off trying to do things – trying to be noticeably fruitful.

Note the word “noticeably” there. By being faithful we are being fruitful because our hearts are healing, refreshing, waiting, faithfully trusting that we are hearing correctly. That is much more fruitful than being unfaithful to the safety instructions we are being given and diving in to the fray again.

At the moment I feel like I am being called to a time of being faithful to writing my story and might just share some bits on here over time. Maybe if my heart tells me. It could be so easy to share because I want to look good, to look like I’m doing something, but would that be being faithful?

If I’m not faithful am I really being fruitful?

Photo by Jay Lockyer on Pexels.com
Categories
endurance hope

Suffering is good for us

Beauty of a dead tree. Isle of Wight. August 2024. Photographed by myself

… suffering produces endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, …

Romans 5:3-4

Yet in the world we live in we take pills, whether prescribed or self-medicated, whether alcohol or drugs, whether taken in moderation or to excess, or buying stuff, watching TV, to elevate our suffering rather than acknowledging that we suffer.

I wrote a piece a while back about acknowledging grief rather than just trying to make it go away and really grief is a form of suffering, but there are loads of other things that cause us to suffer which lead to anxiety and depression, to various illnesses [Read The Body Keeps The Score and other books by Gabor Mate and others like him]

Who of us does not want to be able to endure, to be of a character people admire, to have hope that we can pass on? Yet too often we don’t want to go through the suffering to get there so we fill our lives with stuff, etc.

The Bible also says “Blessed are those who mourn” [Matthew 5:4] which means those who mourn are comforted by God, if they are willing to acknowledge their need. Suffering and pain teach us things, help us in getting closer to ourselves and to God/something beyond ourselves; help us acknowledge our true selves.

A wise person said “there is no hope without the acknowledgment of suffering” and “a denial of suffering is a denial of hope” and yet too often we try to deny our suffering behind so many things.

I was writing a short piece about an older couple I knew many years ago. They had been through a lot – she had lost a lung through TB and told she couldn’t have children, and also they were very involved in CND [the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament] and had been on the original CND marches Aldermaston back in 1958 when fear about the world being destroyed by nuclear war was high. Yet they chose to have children – one of which was my boyfriend for a couple of years – and chose to have hope and to be involved in the lives of others. They very much acknowledged their own suffering and the suffering and pain of the world yet were so full of hope people were drawn to them.

A leprosy doctor [can’t remember the article but do remember what was said] said that from what he see we treat pain as an illness rather than the symptom of the illness. So we treat the pain, the outwards signs, but we do not name and treat the actual problem.

If the above bible verse is true then won’t it happen that the more we treat suffering rather than acknowledge it, surely slowly but surely we will lose endurance, will not gain a depth of character others want to emulate, and so will lose sight of hope?

If we need suffering to have hope then let us be willing to be open about our suffering, name it for what it is, and so grow in endurance and character so we can be a hope to the world!

Categories
faith freedom heart

Faith Without ….

This dog always has faith that I will be there for him. Photographed by myself June 2024

Of course our Upper Room group gathering was awesome with 5, then an unexpected arrival of one who said she might not make it. We talked of all sorts but two things remained with me. One is around thanking/gratitude, which I will try to do tomorrow, and the other was the verse from James

…. faith without works is dead

James 2:26

This came from a discussion about doing and what should we be doing and can we say No and the whole “yoke of slavery” verse that I was chewing over. If we take James 2:26 literally then if we aren’t doing and working then we don’t have faith, surely?

But how does that fit into the verses about resting in God? What is this verse really means “faith without outworkings is dead” – and those outworkings being trusting in God for all things and not having to do everything for everyone ourselves?

What if it is about showing we have faith by not worrying, not getting anxious, not fearing anything, knowing and showing we are loved unconditionally, being open and honest without fear, walking in freedom as I’ve mentioned in previous posts? What if this verse on faith has nothing to do with what we do but has all to do with how we are inside? All to do with the energies we give out to others?

If I truly have faith then I will do and not do what I believe God has for me to do and not do.

God is amazing because I’ve been pondering this post for a couple of days and it seemed to get into a bit of a rant about people doing too much and not resting, etc so which I could feel in my heart was not right. So this morning whilst I was walking the dog I asked God how they wanted this post to go and God reminded me of this song by Bananarama and Fun Boy Three song says “It Ain’t What You Do It’s The Way That You Do It! with that lovely line “and that’s what gets results”

I’ve just listen to the song and it has brought a tear to my eye. It is all about how the heart is and how we need to know the whys of why we do things. If we go in with the right energy, the right heart attitude, leaving our issues, our motives, our needs behind then we can truly do what God wants. Then we are free from that yoke of slavery but if we do good deeds with the wrong motives, with the wrong heart, with the hope that it meets our needs then we won’t get the God results, or as Isaiah says somewhere “our deeds will be like filthy rags“

So it is not about whether you’re busy or resting or saying yes or saying no but it is the way that you do it that will get the results God wants. If our hearts are right then people will look at us and say “wow! whatever they have I want because they know the why of what they are doing”. Then we will be free from that yoke of slavery and able to worship God in Spirit and in Truth!

https://dailyverses.net/

Once again the Bible and a song from beyond the Bible working in harmony! Isn’t God just amazing!!!

Now play the song from the above link and let the words wash over you 🙂

An abridged version of the lyrics courtesy of https://genius.com/

It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it
And that’s what gets results

It ain’t what you do it’s the time that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the time that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the time that you do it
And that’s what gets results

You can try hard (aah-ahh-ah)
Don’t mean a thing (aah-ahh-ah)
Take it easy (aah-ahh-ah)
And then your jive will swing (aah-ahh-ah)

It ain’t what you do it’s the place that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the place that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the place that you do it
And that’s what gets results

I thought I was smart but I soon found out
I didn’t know what life was all about
But then I learnt, I must confess
That life is like a game of chess

It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the time that you do it
It ain’t what you do it’s the place that you do it
And that’s what gets results

Categories
enough prayer

Why Does It Take So Long To Remember to Pray?

Last night this little man was not very well [This is not a photograph from last night :)] He woke about 10.30 and we were up and wandering the streets till about 1pm with him with a squiggie tummy. Thankfully I live in a very safe area and did not see a soul whilst wandering about. And also the promised rain did not appear during the times I was out.

Eventually we crawled back into bed again and he wrapped himself around me like a child with a bad tummy needing a hug. It was then that I prayed for Jesus to heal Renly’s tummy and for me to get a good night’s sleep – what was left of it. Of course Renly was asleep in seconds and slept in until gone 7 and I was asleep not long after and woke when the next door neighbour started his car to go to work just before 7.

What struck me was why didn’t I pray sooner?

From the moment Renly woke I work through a range of emotions. Some of which were: resigned that this is what I had to do; being mad at him for eating some that had upset his tummy; being angry that once he was outside he seemed more than happy to be going for a walk on a street light pavements; gratitude that we live in a safe neighbourhood and do have grass pavements; fed up with myself that I kept getting dressed and didn’t just make him go in the backyard rather than the street; to just a bit fed up with it. Nearly 3 hours it took me before I thought of praying!!!

How often do we all do that? Especially if it is a situation we can cope with? We take the “I can handle this on my own” attitude rather than “Ok Father I need someone to lean on”.

It wasn’t lack of faith or lack of trust because once I prayed I truly believed God would heal my dog and give me the sleep I needed. I just took a while to get there. Perhaps it comes from something deep seated about not wanting to worry God about trivial things when there is so much else going on in the world?

I am grateful that even though I was independent to begin with God didn’t tell me I should have asked soon. No God just got on and healed my dog’s tummy so that we could both sleep.

There’s no reprimanding with God. No blaming. No if onlys. No “you should have asked sooner“. God just always turns up when we turn to God and is there for us. And for that I am more than grateful.

And I only hope I can remember this and pray sooner, give the whole thing to God sooner, and be able to rest in the situation. And not think that my stuff isn’t important ‘enough‘ to bother God with!

Categories
hope Mystery

Hope!

Conwy Beach, 7.10am 6th Sept 2023. Photographed by myself

[This is the first of some more following on from discussions with a friend who stayed with us over the last weekend. She is exploring her faith and asking those “awkward” questions]

I love a good sunrise. It always fills me with hope for the day ahead. Here on this deserted beach yesterday, even though there was a busy day ahead I was filled with hope.

Hope in what you may ask. Well just hope of a great big God, of a great big world, that all my needs would be provided for the day, that I would not walk alone, just hope

I was reading Creed: reexamined beliefs just now. In this Fiona talks about whether what we believe really does bring wholeness to us and to the world. The part that jumped out at me was the bit about Hope and I will requote her quote

“The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”

Barbarba Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

As Christians what do we hope for? I mean not what do we say we hope for but what do we really hope for? Does what come out of our mouths echo what is in our hearts?

Things like do we really believe in going to be with God when we die? Do we really believe God is with us in all that we do? Do we really know we can call on the Holy Spirit whenever and they will be there?

It seems to me that there are a lot of people who still would say they are Christians who don’t go to church but are exploring the things they were brought up with. Things just don’t “work” for them. For instance how can God be a God of love if certain denominations tell us to hate people who are not heterosexual, not living the lives from that denominations view point. How can the Holy Spirit be there to guide us if we look so glum, worry about death so much, are anxious, are fearful, greedy, don’t ask for help? Etc etc.

If we aren’t living the basics – God, as in the whole full Triune God, is love, loves us unconditionally, and is there for us always – do we really believe what we then try to tell others?

Categories
faith Jesus

Jesus Walks On Water

Storm hits the beach – Dec 2021 – photographed by myself

Today the Bible reading in many churches is Matthew 14: 22-33 where Jesus walks on the water. This post is inspired by Lily Lewin’s Freerange Friday post on Godspacelight.com called Walking On Water

Lily’s Freerange Friday posts more often than not encourage imagining oneself there. So whilst I was out walking the dog today I thought about how I would have felt if I was one of Jesus’ disciples on that boat.

Remember not all of them were seamen. We always think of the fishermen and the “go and be fishers of men” line but we do forget that two thirds of the core group were not fishermen.

Now it is as standing joke in my family that I don’t like being too close to the water. These are just two of the many tales I could share! When I was 17 my first proper boyfriend took me for a romantic punt on the River Avon. We did the whole dressing up, had the picnic, we even got the tranquil sunny weather. I was in the boat for less than 5 minutes and I was screaming “take me back. I hate this“. End of romantic day out! One holiday my husband really wanted to go to see the puffins off the Northumbria coast. Out and back and round was a total of an hour on the boat. He’d check it was dog friendly so it was no excuse. Well I was terrified and I’m sure the man driving the boat deliberately hit the waves so we bounced more than we had to. I do have to say that it was worth while though. Puffins are awesome! But I was nearly crying and holding anyone who was close enough the whole way out and back.

So there I am one of Jesus’ disciples. We’ve had a busy day of healing and feeding and crowd control and just need a break. Jesus tells us all to get on the boat. Now I know weather if not the water and can see clouds gathering. So I suggest to Jesus that I’ll just stay behind with him. He’s already said he’s going to pray. I say that I’ll leave him be, explain that like him I need some time out. I need to introvert for a bit. I don’t think it would be good for my mental health to be on a boat with the others. It won’t help me refocus, get grounded. Also the place needs a bit of a tidy up and I’m more than happy to do that. But no Jesus insists and well … he is the rabbi and I am honoured to have been chosen by him so I reluctantly agree.

Well we all know what happens next. The sea starts to swell. The boat starts to rock. It is scary for the sailors, the fishermen. Imagine what it is like for those of us who don’t sail and are terrified of being “too close to the water”. I know I would be so cross this Jesus. This was his idea. He didn’t even come and here I am terrified. Even on that little boat to see the puffins I was sure I was going to die. So I’m imaging being on a smallish fishing boat in the big lake, big enough to be called a sea. And Jesus sent me there.

Along he comes. The storm calms. Peter does his bit of walking on the water. And so all is fine and dandy? Not for me. I’m cross with Jesus for showing up after I’m scared and have made a bit of a fool of myself. Also I don’t get out the boat because I know if I realised I could walk on water I would have just kept on walking back to the shore and not looked back.

This got me thinking – how often have any of us felt like God/Jesus has sent us somewhere and we don’t think they are coming with us. We cannot see or feel a physical presence. How do we feel? Also, and this maybe just me, do we do something stupid because we feel scared and alone and then Jesus comes to us after we’ve done the stupid thing? Are there times when we’ve felt like we’ve stepped out and even Jesus isn’t watching our backs/taking care of the storm around us? Have we ever felt like just getting out and walking away even when Jesus turns up?

I do wonder if too often we’ve allowed this story to be filled with passive characters and not allowed the disciples to be three dimensional, have not allowed them to be fully human. I wonder too if we’ve not let ourselves fully feel how we would have been in this situation. Ok so we know the end of that part of the story – the resurrection, God’s omnipresence, the infilling of the Holy Spirit – so we can react differently. But too often we don’t know the end of our stories or even what is happening in the next part.

I think it is ok to be scared, to be angry with God, to want to walk out and not come back. All those are real emotions. The brave thing is to stay; to stay with God, to forgive Jesus, to learn and grow in faith.

The question isn’t would we have stayed in the boat like the majority of the disciples or got out like Peter, I think the question is would we have obeyed Jesus and got in the boat in the first place even if we were terrified of boats and could see a storm coming?

Categories
acceptance Love

Appreciating Each Other

A skeleton found on a dig at Lindisfarne. Probably 700-1500 years old. Photographed by myself Sept 2022

I start with the archeological dig’s skeleton, because we are all going to die And as an old dog walking colleague once said, his Mum died when she was in her 90s and it was still 10 years too soon for him. And I was reminded of the shortness of life last week when my daughter messaged to say her ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend had died suddenly in the night, probably of meningitis. This girl was only in her mid 20s. Too quick and too soon.

But there was a quote a read on Instagram, which I can’t find again, about how life is short and yet we learn to fear each other rather than love each other. I wish I could find it again because it is really good. Then I heard on Cunk on Earth’s Faith episode, about how Christianity preached love and forgiveness and then killed anyone who would not practice it!!!

These things over this last week have left me wondering why we do not love and forgive more than we hold grudges and fear people. I think it is fear rather than hate. Hate I believe comes from fear. As I keep saying the more I do QEC counseling the more accepting I can be of others, but also the more I see that it is my traumas and fears that used to hold me back from forgiving and accepting people than the people themselves.

This isn’t to say that I am swinging my doors wide open to fill my house full of people. That is something I have learned that I do not like and find hard. That is not to with others but to do with me. But it does mean that I can smile at people when I’m out, engage in conversation where I am listening to them, where I am not worrying about how I will look or if they might “get one over on me”. Instead I am accepting myself and them, giving us both/all our space to be who we are, realising when I react to something someone has said it is as much my issue, if not more so, than their fault.

I think, as I get older, my greatest wish is to be accepting of myself fully, forgiving of myself fully, accepting of others fully and forgiving of others fully. Some of these issues I will have to work through with QEC and other stress/trauma calming techniques. But that is my greatest wish to reach a point where I can appreciate all people and myself, and that all people can do that for each other.

I’m ending this now as I can feel myself going into a rant about governments, etc and I want to keep this post free of that. Maybe next time?? 🙂

Categories
Courage faith

Role Models

Picture of a path through the woods with the sunlight peeking through. Taken by Diane Woodrow
Picture from my morning walk – 14th March 2022 – taken by myself

I was reading Jon Kuhrt’s blog on Herd Immunity this morning – [and I know I use parts of his blogs often, but that is because what he writes resonates with me. I would suggest everyone sign up to follow him.] It was the part about Courage and Faith that I pondered as I was dog walking this morning, and of how to be able to live in Courage and Faith we need to have role models to help us walk it out.

The picture above is of a walk I used to do regular but then, for some reason, I got nervous climbing up the steep track to get to it. Everyone who climbs it says they get out of breath but for some reason I decided it was beyond me. Also there are loads of lovely walks around me that I could do so it wasn’t a great hardship. Then on Friday I met up with a friend for a dog walk. She lives at the bottom of this hill so suggested going up there. And we did. And I realised why I loved going so much – the trees, the light through the trees, the peace, being above the town – and so this morning my dog and I went up there. And we loved it. But we needed that supporter, that role model to encourage us back up.

But that was what got me thinking about living in courage and faith and not getting caught in herd immunity. If one has always been brought up with being fearful, of not stepping out, of not disagreeing with people, of believing what is taught or told from the media, of believing the world is dangerous, of deciding that God only answers prayers if they go a certain way, even that God isn’t quite to be trusted, to never say No because you need to be a “good girl”, to always need friends around you whether they enlighten you or drag you down. All those things encourage people to live in fear, anxiety, distrust, doubt, and feel safe agreeing with their herd, their tribe, their group.

But if one doesn’t have a role model to help your live in courage and faith one can swing in the opposite direction. So when one has been told not to disagree and wants to breakaway then one can swing to being angry and argumentative and always defending their point of view. If one wants to breakaway from being brought up not to trust God or others, and that the world is a dangerous place, one could swing so far the other way that it becomes a blase, “Pollyanna” way of life. If one has been brought up never to say No and wants to change from that, one could move into always saying No even to good things. If one been brought up not to be courageous then one can step out and take too many risks and get hurt or hurt others.

So we need to have role models to help us walk courageously along the path chosen for us. We need to have role models who model true trusting faith in a mighty creator who loves us unconditionally. To find them we need to be bold. To find them we need to test if they are what they say they are. To find them we need to not follow the herd to next big name, the next big issue, the next big thing.

We need to test the waters. We need to be bold enough to look within ourselves. We need to be healed from the need to follow the herd, to be safe with a crowd. That is not to say we need to be on our own but we need to be with people we can be ourselves in all our fallenness and that we can accept their fallibility.

We need to not be swayed by the waves of media which feed our fears but be bold enough to really listen to what God/the Universe is saying to us. Then we too can be role models to others.

Categories
adventure Aslan being me belief Bible blessing christian faith hero U2 unconditional love walking

Why I’m still a Christian

I’ve written around this theme before but can’t find the posts to tag them. I am writing this now because I have been given an journaling exercise that is post-heroic. And I’m doing it without pictures for a change

I “became a Christian”, as the phrase was then, because I met something that amazed and astonished me. Yes I was lonely. I had just had my son and was living with someone who wasn’t his father in a house with other people. It was not a safe time. But something inside me was urging me to change. Some well-meaning Christians came along and knocked on my door. I went to their coffee morning and then I went to their church. I experienced an amazing spiritual encounter where I know that I met with the God who made the universe who told me He loved me and felt like I was being covered in a viscose glittery substance. I have since been told that was a Holy Spirit encounter. To me, at that time, it was like meeting the entity that made me, made my world, looked deep into who I was and how I was living and said “you may not being doing it all right but I like you. Come on let’s walk together.”
Since that time I read the Bible loads, studied Christian doctrine, theology, right ways to be a Christian, been on mission, led prayer journeys and set up prayer groups, done all that stuff and in doing it totally agreed with the U2 song “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” I’ve blogged on this and pondered this. I’ve tried to tame the mystery even though I know in my head “he is not a tame lion.”
I have reached a point in my Christian life where I am no longer wanting to be heroic, no longer wanting to tame the lion, understand the mystery. I have seen God let me down by letting people I know and love die with horrendous timing so that anniversaries of untimely deaths come at a time when we are trying to celebrate birthdays. I have seen God not come through on some dream that I believed He had promised me we would fulfil together. I have been angry and hurt and let down when it felt as if the mystery of God had turned out to be hollow.
Today I turn a corner. No that’s way too dramatic. Today I have decided to let the mystery out of the box and fly. I may never experience the viscous covering again, may never have a request answered as I like, but I know I have reached a point where I want to just hang out with the mystery, where I just want to be with whatever it is that I have tried to box as God.
So I’m still a Christian because I have decided that just as I don’t need all the answers neither does God need to tell them all to me; just as I don’t need to get it right all the time neither does God have to do what I think is right. I might even stop doing but learn to start practising and start just being. Not in that cheesy “oh I’m a human being not a human doing” but in that way that says it’s ok to just be me and for God to just be God, and for other people to just be who they are.
So I am still a Christian because there are no answers, no right ways, no clear paths but I do know that even through those dark paths the mystery that I call God is more than happy to walk with me and all my whinging and moaning and He still says “you may not being doing it all right but I like you. Come on let’s walk together.”

Categories
accepting adventure belief Bible change epiphany faith Jesus mystery of God

The Three Kings

Yesterday I was involved in two Epiphany services and it got me thinking about those “Wise men” who journeyed to see the baby Jesus.

sp2There are 12 verses in the second chapter of in the gospel of Matthew that talk about what happened with them but all we are told about them is “Magi from the east came“, they go to visit King Herod because they know that this is where a king should be found, get told by his advisers that a prophecy says the ‘King of the Jews will be born in Bethlehem’, they go and visit Jesus and then don’t go back to see Herod. From these 250-300 words, depending on translation, the Christian faith has made up a whole mythology about these “Magi” that is now believed.

Because they brought three gifts then it has been decided that there were only three of them. Because we want them to be kind and humble people we talk of what it cost them to travel from wherever to see this babe. All through I feel we have dumbed them down, turned them into something tame and weak. So these are my thoughts on the Magi.

So they must either have been astronomers or astrologers or both or employed people who looked at and read what was written in the stars. That is almost a given. But why did stars-constellationsthey go to visit a new born king? I think it was because the stars foretold how great this King was. Why go and visit a great king? To get great gifts from him. I believe these Magi had money, either of their own or were in a position to tax the people around where they lived. I think they came in a huge caravan of camels and servants and tents and gifts. Why do I think this? Because everything I’ve read about King Herod is that he was a despot and would not have let in three lowly travellers even if they did say they were off to worship the new king. I believe, from all I have read about Herod, that he would have either dismissed them or had them killed. But he welcomes them in. They must have been an impressive sight and he must have known he couldn’t silence them. I believe they came with gifts, not just the gold, frankincense and myrrh that are mention, but much more. I believe the Bible only mentions those three gifts because they are the significant ones. I do believe that the Bible misses many details out. Why say that they gave other things when Matthew wanted to make a point to his readers of who Jesus is?

But you  know I think the most amazing thing that happens is when the Magi meet with Jesus. So picture a huge caravan of camels, of opulence, of power, coming to the house where Mary, Joseph and Jesus are staying. Here I believe it was the same house that Jesus was born in (as in he was born in the place where the animals lived) and that many of the wider family had no left after the census and Joseph was waiting for Mary to be strong enough so they could leave. Maybe even God had told him to stay and we just aren’t told that by any of the gospel writers.

So here they are in this little town when this cavalcade comes through. The town is in up roar. The Magi reach the house. They go in. There they see a normal couple. Remember Joseph was a tradesman and so wouldn’t be poor but wouldn’t be rich. Normal. But something happens to these wealthy, powerful men when they see Jesus.

Matthew says “ On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshipped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.”

What happened to make them bow down and worship this woman and child? What did they see? What happened? Something in meeting with Jesus caused them to change.

Now I’m sure Herod offered them something to come back and tell him when they had found the child but they don’t. They set off. I’m thinking they went quite quickly because Herod doesn’t chase after them but goes off to kill those poor toddlers in Bethlehem.

I just feel that on this day after Epiphany Sunday it would be good to just ponder what happened when the Magi saw Jesus that caused a change in them. And also how often we have preconceived ideas of what “King Jesus” is like but if we truly looked at Him then we would give him the gifts we had intended for another.