Category: Trust God

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let go Trust God

The Greatest Sin

for getting to put God and Jesus in the centre of all we are and all we do.

The sky on our drive home on Tuesday looking towards Eryri photographed by myself whilst in the car hence why it is a bit blurry.

When we go to the Anglican church there is always a prayer of confession which talks about repenting for things we’ve done and things we’ve not done but last week it stuck me that one of things we don’t repent of is not putting Jesus in the centre of things, of not trust that God has a plan through it all. Surely that is one of our main tenants of faith – that God works all things to good [Romans 8:28] – yet too often we don’t believe it. Instead we try to do it on our own, with our own skills, with our own strength. Ok so we might pray that prayer “Jesus help me with my work/family/this situation/this decision I have to make” but then we get back to working out the answer, of putting together pros and cons, putting together contingency plans, and worry and worry and worrying. And so we get stressed, grouchy, and of course that can lead to various health issues if we read Gabor Mate, etc.

Over the last month or so we’ve had loads of curveballs thrown our way from family issues to car issues to boiler issues to getting a rescue dog – something we wanted but maybe the timing was out? I found I was getting more and more stressed and so not being able to see through things and not being able to truly enjoy the new dog.

This is our something good – a new dog called Willow who our old dog Renly gets on well with

We all have deep-seated different motives for why we take on board what we take on board. For myself I wanted to “get it right”, to “please everyone”, and to “be a good girl”, and to “prove myself”. None of which are what God wants.

So how does one put God at the centre? It is really hard work but also really easy. For me it was to trust that God knew that all these things were going to happen at this time. God also knew I could handle them, but not in that way that I had to sort it all out by myself but that I was able to rest with God and let them deal with all the curveballs. I don’t even need to catch the curveballs. That is God’s job.

I do have to be willing to let go of controlling outcomes. Not that any of us can control outcomes anyway but, oh my goodness, we all do try very hard to keep control of all situations, which just leads to more stress. If God was willing to give each of us freewill surely we should let our family and friends have freewill, even if we think we know best or could do better.

So once I’d let go of it being my responsibility for sorting other people I could hear what God wanted me to do in those situations – to be able to leave my old and new dog peacefully with a friend as I went away, to leave relationships for God to sort and not see them as a reflection of me. And I do think we too often see the way our children, especially, behave as a reflection on ourselves and how we brought them up. Instead of being as gracious as God is with us and letting them have the freewill to do what they want. That doesn’t mean we don’t pray for them but it must be a freewill prayer filled with love and grace. I think we can pray “your kingdom come” in both personal and world situations but we cannot pray “your kingdom come and it looks like X,Y,Z” because, for one, that is controlling and, two, we really really do not know the whole situation but God does.

So for me with all that was going on I was able to turn my heart toward God, to trust them in all things, to let go of trying to control and to hear what I am to do. Interestingly this has made settling the new dog into the family much easier and has helped me sleep better. Has it sorted the other things out? No! But, even though I care, I know they are not mine to sort.

So I have put Jesus back into to the centre of my heart and my life – though of course have to keep turning back to doing that again and again and again – and my life becomes much simpler.

God is good when we acknowledge that they are.

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ego Trust God

Prayers or Wishes?

A selection of pictures related me driving – perfect parallel park, Luton van, a couple of walks early in the morning just me and my dog, and then my writing retreat week

I went to a local opticians this past week and she did very through tests on my eyes and found that I might not have great peripheral vision. It is not confirmed as yet. I need some more tests. But for now I cannot drive which has come hard because I so love driving. But in the grand scheme of things it isn’t the end of the world.

What has amazed me is some people’s reactions. Most have been really kind and supportive but from one person I got that I needed to be positive and keep saying that there is nothing wrong with my eyes and get rid of all negative believes that my eyesight is bad. This is hard one because I have always been really shortsighted until 13 years ago when I had lens replacements and went from a minus 21 to minus 0.5 which was totally amazing. But my cornea are stretched and are the cornea of an almost blind person!

I sort of know that if I tell this that my eyes are still bad she will tell me that I didn’t do my statements correctly or didn’t believe enough. That somewhere along the way it will be my fault.

I remember my father-in-law saying that, after his major traffic accident where he suffered brain injuries, people would pray for him and, because he didn’t get better, they would say it was his fault for not believing, or that there was sin in his life. Not helpful at all.

Even though the person who told me to believe in the healing isn’t talking about prayer to me it feels like a similar idea, that there is that potential that if we wish it/believe it hard enough then it will all sort out. And then if it doesn’t sort out then it is our fault. It is all very ego-centric

I was very pleased to come across this phrase this morning in Richard Rohr’s daily meditations which seems very apt

….that the greatest enemy of ordinary daily goodness and joy is not imperfection, but the demand for some supposed perfection or order. 

https://cac.org/daily-meditations/the-mystery-of-the-cross/

Ok there is more going in the meditation but this stood out to me. When one does some of these positive statements or healing prayers or whatever one can get into the trap of calling down what we see as perfection. Note the “we see as perfection.” For me personally, to have perfect peace with whatever the outcome of these eye tests in a fortnight are is the greatest thing I could get. Yes of course I would love to be driving again, would love that freedom of just taking off and being on a beach to watch the sun come up, to pop to the Farmer’s market without having to get a lift, etc, etc. But if that doesn’t happen I want to be able to be so at peace I can feel it in my bones.

So I will ask God for my eyesight to be ok and to be able to drive again because that would be silly not to check in with the Great Creator of the Universe and not ask. And if I wasn’t a Christian I would probably do those positive statements and hope for the best.

But what I want deep down is for this daily goodness, this joy, this peace that passes all understanding, to be settled in my heart no matter what happens.

I’ll post an update in after 28th August to let you know how I get on.

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higher power Trust God

Praying About Elections

Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

It is interesting the response from the losing side when there is a referendum or an election. In the UK I’ve heard calls for proportional representation, or after the Brexit vote how it shouldn’t have been a 50/50 split, and today was reading about the way Trump has won in the US.

Democracy in the modern world is still newish. Yes it comes from Ancient Greek but really that was mainly the elite in the city state. And until recently most of the Western world only let those who owned property and were male vote, or over a certain age. Voting for every adult no matter what their status in the UK only came into being in 1969 – a mere 55 years ago! So we are all still new at it.

I’m picking up lots of newsfeeds, etc from people I know or know of, in the US and they are depressed, upset, confused and more. But then I am only reading ones from people who are like me. I’m suspecting that, if I followed those who did vote Trump I would hear a very different story. I do need to remember that what I hear is only from those I follow who are more like me than not.

One thing though I have been thinking about is prayer. Now I know lots of people who were praying for the US elections. I’m not sure how many were praying “let your will be done, Lord”, how many were praying “God protect our land” or something similar or how many had their own agenda. And I am sure that people on both political camps were praying too. Does this mean God was being dragged back and forth not sure what to do because Democrats were asking for a different result to Republicans?

But this got me to thinking, if we pray for something, are we trying to manipulate God to do our will or are we trusting they will do as they know to be best because they can see the bigger picture.?

If the Creator of the Universe can see the beginning and the end and middle and whatever then do we have to trust, especially when we pray for big things, that all will be as it will be.

How often have you or I prayed for something and it hasn’t worked out as we’d like, even to the point of someone dying, and some well-meaning, slightly insensitive Christian says “that must be God’s will”?

Henri Nouwen talks for how when we pray we shouldn’t come with a list of instructions for God but should come with a list of problems, issues and worries and then spend our prayer time handing them over to God and trusting that God will do as God will do and that our role is just to love and trust our Creator more and more.

So with that in mind, even though I do find the US results strange and unsesttling, though not unexpected, instead of being angry I am willing to spend time in prayer and be asking “what are you trying to show us, God?” and also moving into a place where I can trust that a Higher Power knows so much more than little old me.

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prayer Trust God

LET GO and Let God!

I’ve been staying in County Durham, UK for a few days helping friends clear out their loft as they prepare to move. It also meant staying with my little dog’s bestest friend ever. These two dogs have loved each other since they were puppies. Even if they go over a year without seeing each other they greet each other like long lost friends and just want to hang out together. This does mean that they want to get up early to be together all day so for four mornings I was getting a gentle knock on the door by Djola asking if Renly could come out to play. Of course I indulged and we were walking at 6am most mornings.

Well one morning we were walking down the path when I could hear mooing. A load of bullocks/heifers/young cows had broken out of their field and were moodling about in the wood beneath the path. Some were starting to attempt the climb up from the woods to the path we were on. Anyway I prayed and asked God is they could sort out these cows so it was safe for us when we came back.

Half an hour later we’re on our return journey and 5 cows, one a very large black one, were on the path. So I prayed again! As I walked back towards the village the cows stayed in front of us. I was concerned because I was walking them towards the village and the road. But I also had two dogs with me, and because the footpath is right by my friend’s house I didn’t have leads for either dog!

So I’m praying but also doing what may of us often do when we pray, thinking through solutions that I could do. Interesting how we do that – say we are handing problems to the God who created the WHOLE Universe but then spend lots of headspace and energy trying to think what we could do. Not really handing it over, is it?

The cows are almost at the turning to the track behind my friend’s house when this man appears round the corner with his dog and phone to his ear. He starts to herd the cows back in my direction. I grab both dogs so none of the animals, cows or dogs, get spooked. The cows give us a wide berth and skitter back to where they came from.

The man says “I’ve just phoned the farmer” and we have a chat about cows and that they all seem to be out and he says they’ve probably broken down the fence again.

When we went out in the afternoon for a walk there was no sign of the cows. Problem fully sorted. That local man and his phone were the answers to my prayers.

Simple.

Hopefully that will help me learn to let go totally when I do pray, not hold on a wee bit and see what I can do, and allow God to find the answers as they know best.

Bullocks escaped

Prayer answered

God is amazing

Maybe not quite a haiku but it’ll do!

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thanksgiving Trust God UK Elections

The Day After Election Day

A day break from working through Psalm 23 because yesterday was election day in the UK. It has been a tough choice.

How many people left like this yesterday? A little bit confused and feeling on their own? Photographed my myself 4th July 2024

Do you vote with your heart? Or your head? Tactically? Or just closed your eyes and put a cross?

I can’t tell how many people voted but I’m hoping its a lot because we need to vote. In this country all women did not get the vote until 1928 and it was only in 1969 that the voting age was dropped to 18. This is a democratic right we should all use. At my polling station they were pushing the votes deeper into the box with a big official looking stick so I hope that means lots of people turned out.

The results are nearly all in and in the UK we have a change of government and have moved fractionally to the left. Even if, in my opinion, the UK Labour party are not as left wing as they used to be.

love bit of graphics from Aljazeera news at 8.45am 4th July 2024 with most of the seats in

As you can see it is a great time for those who play with computer graphics. I’m sure if they added some council funding and a few creatives we could go crazy with it.

But seriously what happens now? How much will change? What difference will it make?

The Bible says we are to pray for those in authority. Remembering that when most of the New Testament verses about this were written it was at a time when the Romans were persecuting Christians. Actually before the Romans the Jewish authorities were persecuting followers of Jesus. Even the Old Testament verses about praying for those in authority are written when the Jews were in exile.

So we don’t pray only when we like the government. We don’t pray only when we get the rulers we’ve prayed for. We pray for whoever is in a place of authority.

It doesn’t tell us what to pray which I think we forget. I think there is often a misconceived idea that we can manipulate our leaders by our prayers. I’m not saying we shouldn’t pray that they see the poverty on our streets and eradicate it, or see the mess of our health services and our schools, and our welfare system, and the greed of many. Yes we should pray about that. But I think the big one we need to do is to give them to God and trust that God can speak to them.

For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.

Romans 13:1

I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.

1 Timothy 1-3

So all institutions exist because of God but we are to pray for them with thanksgiving so that they know how to govern so we can lead peaceful lives.

Now to be honest I think that’s much easier than having to tell God what these governmental leaders should be doing. Of course in my nice comfy house in a quiet North Wales seaside town I think I know best. But like most things, whether ruling the country or knowing what’s best for my family all I can do is give them to God.

So with this new government I am hoping that I can also enter a new phase not just in my prayers for the government but in the prayers for my family and friends and can pray with thanksgiving giving them to God and trust God knows best.

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repent Trust God

Natural Order

I’ve ponder the idea that there is a natural order to things on You Don’t Need To Do It and a bit in Trust Is The Key. And I think this is the same for repentance.

Before I met with God I did many things that were not good – out of survival, though my own wounds, through self-centeredness, fear. Probably fear was a lot of the reason. So when I had this big encounter with God – which really needs to be heard rather than read! – I wanted to dive into this whole repentance thing. I got a friend to show me all the verses in the Bible that mentioned sin so I could make sure I repented of everything. I was amazed at how many I needed to repent of one way or another.

Although this was before I found this lovely prayer in the Anglican service

we have left undone those things which we ought to
have done,
and we have done those things which we ought not to
have done

That really does cover most of our lives!

But I thought even then, even in my zeal for meeting with God, there was a natural order of how it worked for me.

Firstly I was accepted by this group of lovely human beings who had got together to evangelise the housing estate I was living on. I was accepted [belonged] to their coffee morning before I went to their Sunday church.

Secondly I had to meet with God and realise how much God loved me unconditionally. And boy was it an amazing encounter. Only then could I start on this journey of repentance. So I had to trust God, believe in and about God and Jesus, and feel I was important to God, special. If I’d been told on that first coffee morning I ever attended that I had to repent and believe I would have high tailed it out of there.

Thirdly though I had to believe and trust that God and Jesus had forgiven me. Actually that was the easiest bit of it. The hardest was going through the journey of forgiving myself because I had done things that had hurt others a lot. But I know I did it because I trusted in Jesus and God to walk with me and leave me high and dry.

Also the whole repentance/forgiveness thing is a totally ongoing thing, which is probably the fourth part. If I believed it was a one off thing and I couldn’t keep coming back to God again and again and again and again and saying sorry and forgiving other people then, I think, I would be a disappointed person.

So daily I ask forgiveness for “those things which I ought to have done, and I have done those things which we ought not to have done” and I am truly sorry. And I forgive those who hurt and upset me whether they did it on purpose or by accident.

But I cannot do those things if God and Jesus are central part of my life, if I don’t trust them moment by moment, don’t rely on them moment by moment.

I do think that repentance and forgiveness should be much a part of our lives that we don’t need to say it but it is in our actions. It is seen when we don’t bitch about people, don’t hold a grudge, don’t worry about things, aren’t fearful, etc. As I explored a while ago, looking at how sinning is really just missing God’s mark, just missing God’s best for us. And anything for holding a grudge and saying bad stuff about people to fit in with others through to worrying and being fearful are the “sins” most of us do. Very few of us murder or steal, but too many of us don’t trust.

I believe we shouldn’t need to tell people but we should be living it day by day – which is what I felt my youth group were trying to tell me and which I shared in Trust Is The Key

Natural order – Trust that God is there for you and loves you unconditionally then repentance and forgiveness will just flow naturally. Or at least I think so.

Categories
Trust God Wait

Jael – Judges 4

From Bryn Cannon’s Pintrest – Ancient World Bedouin Tent

Last Sunday at church we were asked to pick our favourite Bible stories. This story from Judges 4 popped into my head!

Quick summary of Judges 4 – King Jabin, a ruler in a kingdom in North Galilee comes down to attack Israel. Deborah is a prophet and leader in her own right [Yes God is ok with women leaders!] She summons Barak, who we are led to presume is an army commander. She tells him God is going to give him victory over King Jabin’s commander, Sisera. But Barak is a bit of a woose and says he won’t go off to fight unless Deborah goes to. Deborah prophecies that because Barak isn’t going to trust God in all of this then God will give the defeat of Sisera to a woman. When the battle commences Barak, or God, manage to frighten not just the regular soldiers but Sisera as well. Sisera runs away! His entire army are destroyed. Sisera goes to the came of Heber, a Kenite, a descendant of Moses’ father-in-law. Sisera does, what he thinks is a sensible idea, and goes straight to Heber’s tent seeking refuge. Now Jael is Heber’s wife, or possible one of his wives.

Now this next bit, I think is where things get a bit sketchy and are left to the imagination. It says that Jael invites Sisera into the tent. Now we don’t know at this point where her husband, Heber, is, or where the rest of the Kenites are. As you can see from the above picture this isn’t a one man tent.

It says Jael “covered him [Sisera] with a blanket”. Now this is often led to be that they had sex together. I’m thinking, from things I’ve read about soldiers, when they have been fighting their adrenaline is up, their sex drive is up. And here is a woman of interminable age inviting him into her tent. And we know they are alone because of what happens next. I think Jael willingly has sex with Sisera. Not because she is enamoured by his status but because she knows this is the best way, along with the drugged milk, that will cause him to fall into a deep sleep. Remember she is a woman, and maybe a youngish woman but we don’t know. And Sisera is a strong fighting man. She needs him not just drugged but totally sated.

The text says that after covering him with a blanket, then him asking for water and her giving him the milk she covers him with a blanket again. At this point he is exhausted and falls into a deep sleep.

According to the text Jael then takes a hammer and a tent peg and drives it through Sisera’s temple. Now Sisera went to Heber because they were on friendly terms with Jabin and he thought he would be safe. What possessed Jael to kill him? That we will never know. But kill him she did thus fulfilling Deborah’s prophecy.

Why do I like this story?

Well firstly is is two women who are the stars of it all. Even though they are at either end of the status scale – Deborah a leader, Jael possible one of many wives – both go with their strengths. Both of them live out who they are. Deborah doesn’t keep God’s word to herself and hope that Barak, because he’s an army commander, hears God. No she goes and tells him. She does reprimand him but still goes with him into the battle.

But it is that key role that Jael plays that would not have happened if she had been somewhere else. If she had decided that she shouldn’t just sit around in her tent but was off, say, tending the goats, looking after the children, staying close to her husband so she looked like the better wife, or any number of things that a woman of that time, culture and status could be doing. No for some reason she stayed put. For some reason she was willing to entice Sisera under a blanket twice and then kill him. She was willing to be waiting in her home to be used by God, used to bring a victory to a battle.

Also Deborah trust that God will outwork this as God knows best. She gives the prophecy that victory will come by the hand of woman but she doesn’t then go and round up a bunch of women to go into the battle trusting that God will keep them safe. No she says the words, supports Barak, but waits to see what God will do.

I like this story because it reminds me that waiting is good. Not this weird active waiting that seems to be said at times where one isn’t really waiting but is doing things, but just being in situ and seeing what happens. It reminds me too that often I pray for others and get a “word” but then I need to just sit back and let God bring it to pass as God knows best.

For me this is a story of being willing to be in situ and be willing to be used rather than rushing about trying to make things happen.

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Lord's Prayer Trust God Uncategorized

Whose Will?

So two posts in quick succession. This is because I’ve been enjoying my daughter’s company and not had time or headspace to blog.

But I have been praying. And again am stuck on working with The Lord’s Prayer. And especially the line “Your Will be done“.

It made me think of how often we mither [check out the link as it is a north of England expression] at God to do what we think is the right thing. With many situations, whether it is Ukraine, Israel/Palestine, getting things done in my home town, illnesses with people I know, there is much more going on under the surface, hidden histories, that we know little or nothing about, hurts and pains we don’t understand, and so often what we are “telling” God to do is ill-informed. I think this is why Jesus’s advise was telling us to say to God “look I see this situation. I’d love you to be involved in it. Your will be done within that.“

Now I had an interesting thing happen after I was praying for God’s will to be done about a certain person. As me and this person were walking and talking they said something that I could almost see God highlighting for me. It was something very deep with them and shared in a way that I felt led me to ask God if that was a way I was to pray about it. I believe now that God has given me their direction in praying for this person and that God and I are yoked together in this.

I also had another time when I did the “ok it’s your will not mine here” as I was finding certain things with another person difficult. I was also trying to avoid that person. But again God had other plans. There I was walking round my park on my own and they were walking the opposite direction. They greeted me warmly and we walked together. Again I could hear that still small voice saying “this is My will that you walk along side them.” And it was like there was nothing else I had to do but to walk with them.

I can be an organised, planning person. It is a family joke that I like my lists. Often of an evening I write a list of what I want to do the following day as part of my unwind before going to sleep routine. But I also find that I can get into doing this with praying for people; the list with an idea of what each person, situation, etc needs. But this takes away the “your will be done” part of the Lord’s Prayer. I wonder too if these things interfere with the “give me each day my daily bread” part.

So this year I am going to just let God’s will be done, not my will, in how I pray and who I pray for, and just trust and see what happens.

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positioning Trust God

Happy To Be Second

No matter what this looks like it is definitely my cat saying she comes first.

I was reading 24-7’s Lectio this morning. Josh Luke Smith is looking at John the Baptist especially John 1:6-8

There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.

Sometimes with known Bible passages we can switch off or tune into a familiar sermon about them but it was reading Josh’s comment ….

I’m a musician and I’ve been on many tours as ‘the support act’. People haven’t primarily bought tickets to see me, but to see the artist or band that’s headlining the show. My role on stage is to warm up the crowd and set up the headline act for success.

What struck me is how often many of us have wanted to be the headline act but that is not our job. But we get caught up in the shove and grind of pushing to the top. So we trample over others. We elbow our way through. Some do make it to the top whether they are meant to be there or not but because they can push harder, shove better, are louder.

As Josh goes on to to say

God wants me to be fully, creatively myself, without shame or passivity. There is no higher calling, or expression of who I am, than to point towards Christ

But I also think an equally high calling to to encourage others to get to where they are meant to be – whether that is leading a church, leading a group, being a great musician, writer, etc. And it is to say “look at them. Haven’t they done great” instead of feeling that quiet stab of jealousy and wanting to say “you should have known them when ….”

Am I willing to come second? I know I can be ok about point towards Jesus but am I happy about seeing someone in a similar field to myself doing well. Or what is often a biggie – seeing someone’s children “making it” [whatever that really means] when your own are bumbling along just being!

When I first had this amazing encounter with God and realised that, even though I was a mess in the world’s eyes, God thought I was awesome and loved me as I was, I was given a bookmark with “Be Still and KNOW I am God” Ps 46:10. Then when I was with YWAM Scotland one of those on my team drew me a picture of me lying with a cuppa watching the sun rise or set. But still I kept busy, kept elbowing, kept wanting to be more than God intended.

That picture from Mrs Kim on my study wall

After a turbulent year that I made more stressful by getting a part time job to fill a gap God has shown me that I am at my fullest for them when I am calm, resting, there for others.

Yes much as I would love to be a leader, run a ministry, work hard, my calling, my ‘fully creative self’ is being able to have time for others, to drink coffee with them, to listen to them, to be a safe space for them, to encourage them, as well as my writing. So 30+ years from that encounter with God in all their gentle acceptance I think I am finally coming to accept and realise that verse of being still and just knowing God. It follows on then with “and I will be exalted in the nations.”

God is going to be more exalted if I stop putting to be first, stopping pushing for the noticeable ‘ministry position’, that ‘accepted place in a church setting’. So hopefully I am going to enter 2024 being more still, more able to point towards Jesus, more able to be fully, creatively who I am, and just letting God rise into my nation, into those they have placed around me without me having to go looking.

So are you willing to come second?

Categories
crisis Trust God

From Crisis to Crisis

This was my dog’s latest crisis – being trapped on the stair by the cat whilst I hoovered downstairs!!!

We seem to lurch from one media reported crisis to the next. All of which are pretty scary to say the least – whether it is the Russia/Ukraine war or what is going on with Hamas and the Israelites in Israel and Gaza, as well as our lurching UK NHS and education system crisis and the cost of living crisis. We are constantly being pulled to worry about things outside our control. I think this is why in my area at the moment there is so much focus on a local council threatening to ban dogs from its beaches all year round to the new 20 mile per hour speed limits. These are things we can control, things we can do something about.

I had been planning a post about how trivial these complaints are when so much else is going on but over this past week I “got it”. Yes we can send money to UNICEF for Ukraine, Gaza and Israel but we can’t do much to change the situation. But we can sign petitions for both the 20 mph changes and the dog ban on the beaches. We can moan to our local councils, who more often than not will listen to us and definitely will not shoot us. We are so lucky in this county to be able to do that. And, especially with local matters things often change because we could bump into our councilors in the park, in the pub, in the supermarket. And many of them are where they are because local matters are important. We can make a change

We cannot stop the atrocities in the Middle East, in Ukraine, with modern day slavery, with drugs, with all sorts of awfulness that actually we do forget about once it has moved away from the headlines. Even with our own health and education systems, if we are not affected personally we do forget about them.

The media encourages both that feeling of panic and of worry but once we “get used to” what is going on they find something else to cause us panic and worry. So we do then look to something, like dog bans or 20 mph speed changes, to vent that worry and panic on. It is all short term but it does sometimes help.

Prayer is one way to go. Although sometimes that can feel like God isn’t listening. How long does one pray for peace and watch people die? For people to stop abusing those more vulnerable than they are? For people to not need drugs and alcohol to find peace of mind and wholeness? It takes a certain type of person to keep hammering at God on those subjects when nothing seems to be happening.

So how do we trust that God is listening? This I cannot answer. I’m hoping when I get to heaven I will. But I have to have faith. Faith that my little, often half remembered prayers, get heard and thrown into the bigger pot.

He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all God’s people, on the golden altar in front of the throne. 4 The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of God’s people, went up before God from the angel’s hand.

Revelation 8:3-4

Though, like with much of the book of Revelation this is confusing because all these prayers get sent up and given to God then the angels cast down all sorts of nastiness on the earth. But I do have to have faith that God hears, that God listens and most importantly that God knows best.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see

Hebrews 11:1

This isn’t easy in the small things – like the death of a fellow dog walker, the death of an acquaintance from stomach cancer and another acquaintance from secondary breast cancer in this last month. But if my hope and faith isn’t in God then where is it? It can’t be in the media because that is fickle, as are the politicians, the economists, the world leaders, the leaders of terrorist groups, even my employers, parents, etc. They are fickle all of them. All are searching for keeping themselves safe.

God on the other hand doesn’t care what we think of them. In fact God doesn’t care if we give them a gender or not. God made us all so that we can love them completely, love each other completely and unconditionally, and they can love us with relentless conditional love. When we don’t do our part because we are scared, wanting our own way, fickle, fearful, etc then we to often pray “my will be done because I’m scared if you don’t do it my way things will get worse” rather than “your will be done because you know best and I trust you”

So with all this madness of people hating each other, of people fearing each other, of money being the biggest goal, are you, am I, willing to trust handing things over to God? Whether our worries are the wars and poverty in the world or personal things like 20 mph speed limits can we tell God our worries without telling them how to sort it. And will we be able to trust they have heard and trust that they can sort it?