“I’m just looking, Mum” – my dog on the beach 6th September 2023 Photographed by myself
[This is the second of some blogs following on from discussions with a friend who stayed with us over the last weekend. She is exploring her faith and asking those “awkward” questions]
One of those things that comes up in those discussions about God is free will. As in “these things happen because God gave us free will” . But sometimes one does ask why!
I work at a local after-school club and yesterday was really struck by the meaning of “free-will”. It was the first day back and I wanted to give the children ownership of their after-school club so I came up with some great ideas. Did they want to do them? No! All they wanted to do was play hide and seek in the confide space of the after-school club room [a converted double garage] with very limited hiding spaces. All worked very well until they started to fight about who could hide where, who was actually counting, etc, etc. as I put away all my games I’d got out for them.
But it made me think of God and how in the Creation myth God gives humankind this beautiful garden but humankind goes “no I want to find out about good and evil”. Then later on God gives some suggestion on how to live a long, peaceful life – take the 7th day as a full on rest day, take the 7th year as a full on rest year, trust that you will always have enough, believe God will supply in the right timing.
So mankind thinks that really that 7th day is to do some extra-curricular things [sports, church, shopping, etc]. Of course you can’t really not do anything for a whole year because then you’d starve/not have enough so humankind does not give the land a rest or themselves. And then we come down to the “enough”. Humankind then decides they don’t have enough land, enough food, enough, possessions, etc and so some take more than they need. In fact most of us have more than we need or will ever use but we think we’re ok because we can point to others that have even more again. But there are so many in the world who do not have enough. And that’s not God’s fault. That is our greed, fear, and not trusting God.
So like the children in my after-school club who did have amazing things they could be doing, we reject the good because we think we know best and then we fight with each other when things don’t work out. And of course with my friend in her explorations we blame God for all that. Doh!
[Photograph is of my friend, Tessa, who loved life. This was taken by myself 3 months before she died. The UK November weather decided to seasonally sunny so she could enjoy her last trip to the seaside]
In the UK we love a good moan about “seasons”. We bemoan the summer when it gets too hot, too wet, too windy, too cold. We bemoan the winter when it doesn’t get enough snow, too much snow, rain, wind. You get the picture. We Brits love a good natter about the weather and how it isn’t doing what it’s meant to be doing for the time of year. I think the only time there was joy rather than whinging was the spring of 2020 when we went into lockdown and the weather was warm and dry so we were able to get out in our gardens, go for the allotted walks we had permission to do, and in rural areas maybe extend those walks.
I wonder too if we moan about “seasonal spirituality” – as in Christmas is too busy and comes round too soon, the “Church” doesn’t do Easter like it used to, in X denomination they don’t do X-season as well as Y church that we don’t attended because …..
But what does season spirituality really mean? Or at least what does it mean to me?
At the moment I’m not regularly attending a congregation and my husband has had to accept that this is the season I am in. But I do co-run a Christian youth group; although that has not taken place since May due to the majority of our young people being busy. We only have 5 young people so if 3 of them are busy and others don’t want to come because their friends aren’t coming then it doesn’t happen. Myself and my co-leader have to accept this is the season our group is in.
For me seasonal spirituality means not just going with the seasons of the land – spring, summer, autumn, winter – but going with the seasons of my heart, of what I believe God is saying to me, of what I have the energy to do. It is trusting that inner voice, checking that it isn’t just me being obtuse [as in with the not going to church] or people pleasing [as in with the going to church/getting involved with church based activities], and checking in with God to really know what God wants of me in this season of my life.
Talking of seasons, I am now in my early 60s and so I look at life differently to what I did in my early 40s even, and definitely differently to how I looked at life in my early 20s. I need to explore this new season of my life not just rush boldly forward doing whatever. And I think that is the same with spirituality – we often don’t pause, take time out to feel that change of season, but rush forward either doing the same old same old or often getting busier and busier.
Life changed in 2020. There were a lot of prophecies about “perfect vision” and I still believe lockdown, Brexit here in the UK, mass migrations, climate change, the war in Ukraine, and other things are part of the reviewing of the world. And I think we need to pause, to look, to really see what God is really seeing.
Jesus talks about “those who have ears let them hear” and about people being “always seeing but never perceiving” and yet if we don’t take time out to see what the spirituality season is that we are in then we will not hear God’s voice, will not see what God is doing, will not perceive our role in this.
So are we willing to take some time to contemplate what season we are in? To not grumble that it is too busy/quiet/fast/slow/wet/dry/revival/not/etc? And will we just wait until we can really hear what God is doing, really perceive what God is doing and really know our part in all of this. And maybe it is as Christine said the other day our work is loving the world just as it is. How about giving that a go for a while?
A nice piece of Medieval art work. I wish the Openverse [which is where I got the picture from using the “openverse” button on WordPress] would give a reference!!
Anyway why the Four Horsemen on this pleasant Monday morning? Well it comes about because on Saturday night we watched Now You See Me 2 on Netflix. A nice bit of easy listening with good morals, a bit of fighting but no horrid stuff and no sex. Yes there are only two female actors in the whole main cast, only three ethnic characters in the main cast, and other issues but that aside I found it a good easy Saturday evening watch.
But what struck me is the four key characters are known as The Four Horsemen – and automatically I’m thinking “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” from the Bible – the white horse often interpreted as Pestilence carrying a bow, the red horse of War carrying a sword, the black horse of Famine carrying scales, and the pale horse which is Death. One of the interesting things that the leader of these Horsemen in Now You See Me says as they are performing their final tricks of the film – [paraphrased] “We are the four horsemen. Our job is to reveal what is“
That really struck me. Often it is interpreted that the biblical horsemen are sent as a punishment, a judgement but what if they are there to reveal what is, to reveal what is really in our hearts. There are multiple interpretations even in the short piece from Wikipedia that I’ve shared. So I might be as “right” as anyone else.
We live in a time when we see the horrors of pollution, over mining of our plants resources, mass scale farming with its pesticides and fertilizers, plastics filling our oceans, climate change. There are wars and the mass migration of people groups caught in the horrors of war which are then rejected from the countries they run to. Again there is the migration of people due of famines which have come about because of over farming, climate change and wars. The scales are very much tilted towards those with money and not to a fair shared world. All of this leads to death. There are many colours that death can be but I like pale best because it is insipid and can fade into the background. But as well as those who die in wars, from famines, from trying to cross to safer countries, there are those who feel so hopeless they take their own lives, who die of cancers because of the lifestyles now led, who get killed by cars, planes, etc. Death is all around and much of it is violent and unnecessary.
Ok so The Four Horsemen in Now You See Me were not just about revealing corruption and bring things into the open but were about putting things right. So we can sit and bemoan the state of the world. And if you come across any group of people in the pub, on a dog walk, in a cafe, at home with friends, etc they/we are bemoaning the state of the world. Bit by bit it is revealed to us. But we need to do more than moan.
A while ago I wrote about how the world is caught up in logic and not listening to the heart, the deep heart. [Check out this post but also search “logic” on my blog page to get other posts that all roll together] And I think that is where the problem lies. Logic causes us to panic, to become overly anxious but kicks in the “freeze” mode of our automatic nervous system. So we don’t act. We get increased mental health and learning difficulties because we are focusing on logically trying to sort the situations and so our anxieties levels are running on an all time high and then we are logically trying to get them turned off!!
So how do I listen to what I hear these four horsemen reveal in my quiet little North Wales seaside town and know where I fit into the picture of not only revealing but of changing?
Firstly I can breath, ANS regularly, and keep my energy levels calm so that when I go out into the world I take a pool of calm with me.
Secondly I can pray. Not telling God what to do but by quietly listening to what God is saying. Quietly really hear in my heart not what I want the answers to be but what God, the Creator of this Universe, really wants in these situations. Some of what I hear won’t make sense to my logical brain but I have to trust the Creator that they know what they are on about.
Thirdly I can do those things that will help; turn off lights, think sustainably, buy ethically, be kind and generous to others, love my neighbour as I would like to be loved, believe I have everything for my daily needs, forgive and know that I am forgiven, not put things into judgemental good/bad boxes, etc. [ I say “etc” because I know there are so many other things that are relevant for each of you reading this. For some it is to write what they are called to write, to paint what they are called to paint, to work at the jobs they are called to work out. And sooooooo much more]
I just want to share this YouTube video from The Grays Haven Music called REST. God’s work is done and we just need to Rest, to know our part and to trust in them. I don’t in anyway think this means do nothing but, I think, it does mean don’t fuss, don’t worry, trust and listen to what your part is in the already done work of God, Jesus and Holy Spirit.
I came across this idea from a Writer’s HQ newsletter and cannot find where to find out much more. This phrase “psychological privatisation” comes from Mark Fisher, who wrote Capitalist Realism: Is There No Alternative?, which I have not read but it is the quote from Goodreads and the paraphrasing from Writers HQ then what happened with the majority of the Jubilee beacons that got me thinking.
Disclaimer – I am not being negative of the Jubilee beacons. I think they were amazing and I loved both the turn out in my town and the whole concept, and the video by George Frost which I have taken this still from. I just think with all these things combined they are saying something about the times we are living in.
So I’ll start with the quote from Mark Fisher that was on Goodreads
“Instead of accepting the vast privatization of stress that has taken place over the last thirty years, we need to ask: how has it become acceptable that so many people, and especially so many young people, are ill? The ‘mental health plague’ in capitalist societies would suggest that, instead of being the only social system that works, capitalism is inherently dysfunctional, and that the cost of it appearing to work is very high.”
Or as Sarah put it – and I paraphrase the paraphrasing –
Work and life demand too much of us so we are exhausted so we don’t ask our fellow human beings for help, for a better way of doing things. Instead we “try to make ourselves more efficient, push ourselves harder, buy into mindfulness and productivity strategies”, journal more, “and think the problem lies with us and not all the bullshit going on out there.” So we try to be “better” humans, more organised, do more, go faster, earn more, use our leisure time more “wisely”, then all would be fine.
All this stops us being more creative with our solutions and also more connected. It affects our mental health, leaving us more depressed, more anxious, more insular. It also, because we are tired, causes us to accept this crazy status quo and not be able to look for something different. Or even see that this is not working
So then along comes the Jubilee beacons. Now beacons of old were to send messages between communities either to say the enemy was in sight, a monarch was on their way, or as was had a long the North Wales coastline – a series of beacons that said a certain ship had been sighted off the coast of Anglesey and was on its way to Liverpool docks; that it had made a successful crossing. Beacons were for connection and for “passing it onwards.” The ones that happened on 2nd June all did happen at the same time with the same tune played and the same words said. Brilliant. But our little beacon did not see any other beacons and could not be seen by any other beacons. Also once everyone started to go home it was turned off and the burner taken home. There is no residue of a bonfire on our beach, whereas in times past these beacons would be left to burn out so everyone had a chance to see them.
I have a vague memory of lighting Jubilee beacons for the Queen’s 25th Jubilee, but they involved climbing to the top of a hill where the beacons of old were light and then the beacons were light one after the other. It all does happen very quickly.
But I think these beacons this year were a sign of how we are less connected at a deeper level. We are tired after the long pandemic, Brexit, strange election results in this country and the US, a war in Ukraine, the instability of life. Even with regard to the monarchy there is an instability. the Queen is not going to live much longer and then what? We don’t know. And when we try to talk about it we talk without listening.
I think the beacons were a sign. They were wonderfully organised, were efficient, used people’s time “wisely” but actually did not connect one community to another. At least not in a deep, supportive, holistic, “we need to change what we’re doing” sort of way. No trusting each other to “pass it on”.
And finishing the line of Edwin Starr’s song – War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! – and I think that is one of the things that breaks my heart the most, not just for this invasion by Russia into Ukraine but for all the other wars, conflicts and atrocities that are going on across the world – many of which have been going on so long they don’t make headlines any more. They are old news and no one cares.
Because we live in an age of instant news we know moment by moment what is going on in Ukraine. I wonder if World War One would have panned out differently if people could have seen videos from the trenches and seen the waste of life. Because whether medieval war or modern war or all wars in between that is all that is ever achieved by war – loss of life.
Ok so the leaders are no longer riding into battle but one day they will died. No matter how invincible Putin or despots think they are, or even good leaders for that matter, they will all die. And they will be remember in various different ways by the generations that follow them in certain ways but they will still be dead, along with all those they led into this war.
My heart aches to know of the civilians in Ukraine who are taking weapons against fellow human beings. To see women making Molotov cocktails sitting together chatting is heartbreaking. No one should want to hurt or main another human being but they are being led down that road.
So maybe the Edwin Starr song should say “War, what is it good for? Encouraging innocent people to hate others”. And that is the saddest thing to me.
The picture at the top was taken by my son in January 2019 on maneuvers in Estonia. Even though I have mixed emotions about my son being in the army I am also proud of how he is developing as a human being. But also I love this photo because it shows such beauty with the sun rising and glistening off the snow and the tank.
One of my prayers will be that there is beauty comes from not just this atrocity but from all the awful things that going on through the world. I want a world full of hope to live in and I see it within some of the disadvantaged young people I work with. I just pray they can taken it onwards across the world to touch even the hearts of people like Putin, Trump, and others whose names do not come to me at the moment.
With hope we will not be afraid – or so I believe.
Aspirational Adventures 