This morning there was a sunrise very much like this over my park as I was walking the dogs this morning. What struck me was that all of us said “wow look at the sunrise” and no one said “look at the darkness”. We were all focused on the light.
I think this is what Jesus wants for us all. Not for us to focus on the darkness within us or within our world but he wants us to focus on his light shining and chasing away the darkness.
One of the things my QEC practitioner suggests is to not try and analyse why we feel a certain way – as in not try to look at where it comes from – and to not blame self or others or our past or our memories or whatever, but to change the now. Basically to look at the light of where we are now, to put in those new beliefs and to move on changed and healed.
I think Jesus, Light of the World, wants us to focus on their light, on the new creation we are growing into, and to let go of the darkness; our fears, anxieties, our not “enoughs”, our shoulds and oughts. Basically to let go of guilt and shame and to walk in the freedom and healing that light brings.
As we all know from dog walking as the sun comes up it is much easier to see not only who else is in the park but also to pick up dog poo when it gets lighter. We focus on the light and things are easier.
So even though the days are getting shorter I am going to do my best to focus on the 8 or less hours of daylight we’re getting but also focus on the light that is Jesus even in the dark.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:1-5
Too often, I think, we see the “darkness” as the world around us – wars, greed, poverty, world leaders, etc etc and we pray that “they” will change. Yes those things are darkness things. But I think too often we forget the darkness within each one of us, the darkness that makes us fearful, anxious, worrying, not able to give freely, not able to fully lean on God and trust them, that makes us always need answers rather than to live in the mystery.
For me this video from Instagram says much clearer what we can be like when we let the darkness take over and also how we can be. [Do try to watch it all because it helps make this post make better sense if you watch all of it]
So are we willing to do the work, to let Jesus, who is the light of the world, shine into our own dark places? Are we willing to surrender our dark places to a God we cannot see, often cannot understand, and who sometimes seems to do things we rather they didn’t do?
But if we are willing to do that via whatever means that change the thoughts that are so deeply imprinted in our minds then we can be like the guy on the video – at peace and appreciating what is around us.
In the book of Matthew there is a piece Jesus is supposed to have said about not knowing when he will return and how we need to be ready. Matthew 24:40-41 says ….
40 Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. 41 Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.
Common preaching is that this means that the one believing will be taken to heaven or the one who doesn’t believe will go to hell. All quite clear and simple. And it comes with the warning [in the preaching] that we who believe should be evangelising like crazy so that we don’t lose the person who is working beside us.
But what if it just means that life is full of unexpected turns and that we don’t know when our end or those around us – colleagues, friends, family – will die and go to whatever comes next?
Death is one of those things that, even if expected, still comes suddenly. My friend Tessa knew roughly when she was going to die, and put a lot of things in place, still didn’t know the exact day. I remember when we took her to the seaside in November she was planning to come back again in the spring but died in the February. Those of you who’ve been following me for a while know there are friends I’ve lost suddenly. [My end of year newsletter talks of a collections of sudden things that happened this year]
So we do not know when so we need to always be prepared for the unexpected – whether that is the person next to us being whisked away to wherever or things we’d hoped for not happening. In all of it we need to be in that Still place and be knowing that God is God and they are in charge.
Yes I think that section in Matthew 24 from verses 36-44 is about being prepared I think, as we seem to do too often when exploring the Bible, have made it too clear cut. I think it is simpler but deeper and puts God, not us, into the centre.
“Bestill, andknow that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10
This was a verse that was given to me on a bookmark over 30 years ago when I first met with God and I’ve been pondering it every since.
What struck me in church on Sunday was – this is not a moment in our day when we take a “mindfulness moment” but it is a lifestyle. The whole of our life and our existence should be still, calm, at peace, knowing that God has it all covered and that our whole role in the whole salvation of all the peoples of the world is just to be still and to know that God is God. But I think too often we see this as a moment not a whole.
So we take a moment to be still and then we go back to worrying, doing it in our own strength, stressing, when we can just still our whole minds and bodies and believe
This isn’t easy but, from what I’ve learned from QEC and being able to bring my autonomic nervous system into line regularly then it is possible to keep “resetting” and returning to that still and trusting place whenever we notice we’re not there 🙂
The story focuses on Faye, a five year old girl, who climbed Ben Nevis in a blizzard to raise money for Glasgow Children’s Hospital. But if you read this and other articles they says how her dad, Craig, is an experience ice climber, meticulously planned the route and made sure he had all the necessary kit needed. This does not detract from Faye’s amazing achievement but she couldn’t have done it without good fathering. And I suspect a father she trusted, who encouraged her and who she’d done lesser climbs with beforehand.
This, to me, seems to fit in with the last two posts of mine. If we “yoke” ourselves to Jesus and trust God knows what’s going on we can scale any difficulty. God has done all things before us. Like with Craig, God isn’t surprised when bad things come our way. We just need to tuck in behind our perfect Father/Parent and know they will not let us come to any harm.
Looking at Faye’s face I suspect she wasn’t worried at all because she knew she could trust her Dad not to let her come to harm. I am suspecting Craig gave her words of encouragement to keep her going; words she could hear because she knew he meant it. Even though it was an arduous climb in bad weather Craig knew they had the right kit and the right stamina and knew they could do it and so he passed this on to Faye.
Too often we get to a place where the going looks too tough and we stop listening to the voice of God encouraging us. Some of that, I suspect, comes from parenting we’ve received where we haven’t been encouraged, where at times our parents are the ones who’ve put the limits on us, passed on their fears and worries, not walked that path so don’t want us to because we might get hurt.
I know as a parent I was guilty of doing that but that came from me not listening to God as I parented. So I put in my fears, my limitations, my expectations, etc on my children instead of trusting God with parenting my children and letting myself take on that easy yoke that Jesus promised.
We could all do with being more like Faye with our heavenly Father and trusting that they know the route, have got the kit that is needed, and hear their words of encouragement so we can make it to wherever we are meant to be going without fear.
I’d just read the verse “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” [Matthew 11:30] and the commentary around it was how Jesus, being the other oxen, takes the biggest load. I didn’t agree so husband and I were chatting about it in the car as we drove south on Sunday.
Most of the preaching I’d heard was around the idea that Jesus is the other oxen in a dual yoke, and talk of how a younger oxen used to be yoked with an older oxen to learn the trade and how Jesus was the older oxen. But my husband said he’d heard that the Pharisees teaching was called a yoke and that what Jesus was saying was that his teaching was easy compared to the Pharisees teachings. So the teachings were the yoke over the oxen.
Who puts the yoke on an ox? The ploughman. So this got us to thinking what is Jesus is the ploughman, which then comes back to The Greatest Sin post about letting go of control and trusting God. The ploughman knows where the ox needs to go prepare the land and then later to harvest the land. The oxen has no idea. Though I do suspect, like my dogs, they do know what they are doing after a while but still need to be guided.
So with this thought in mind we need to start trusting that Jesus/God is with us guiding us. Too often we go somewhere or do something and “invite God into the situation” with a prayer. But if we are letting God guide us then they are there with us and they have got it covered. It is them leading us to plough the furrow not us deciding which furrow to plough – if we are willing to let them. It makes it more than just acknowledging God in a situation but it means knowing God is fully in that situation and has led us that way so we are there.
Too often we do the acknowledging once we’re there but I think this is another one of those verses that should be read differently – as in “acknowledge that God is able to be trusted and is in control and that way your paths will be straight”, or something like that. Ok so it doesn’t scan quite as nicely but, for me, it makes more sense. Or maybe even “Wow God is in all of this because I let my heart trust them and let them take over“?
So it isn’t so much me taking God into a situation but Jesus guiding and leading me into the situations. Again it takes the onus off me to remember and lets Jesus be the guiding steerer to my life.
for getting to put God and Jesus in the centre of all we are and all we do.
The sky on our drive home on Tuesday looking towards Eryri photographed by myself whilst in the car hence why it is a bit blurry.
When we go to the Anglican church there is always a prayer of confession which talks about repenting for things we’ve done and things we’ve not done but last week it stuck me that one of things we don’t repent of is not putting Jesus in the centre of things, of not trust that God has a plan through it all. Surely that is one of our main tenants of faith – that God works all things to good [Romans 8:28] – yet too often we don’t believe it. Instead we try to do it on our own, with our own skills, with our own strength. Ok so we might pray that prayer “Jesus help me with my work/family/this situation/this decision I have to make” but then we get back to working out the answer, of putting together pros and cons, putting together contingency plans, and worry and worry and worrying. And so we get stressed, grouchy, and of course that can lead to various health issues if we read Gabor Mate, etc.
Over the last month or so we’ve had loads of curveballs thrown our way from family issues to car issues to boiler issues to getting a rescue dog – something we wanted but maybe the timing was out? I found I was getting more and more stressed and so not being able to see through things and not being able to truly enjoy the new dog.
This is our something good – a new dog called Willow who our old dog Renly gets on well with
We all have deep-seated different motives for why we take on board what we take on board. For myself I wanted to “get it right”, to “please everyone”, and to “be a good girl”, and to “prove myself”. None of which are what God wants.
So how does one put God at the centre? It is really hard work but also really easy. For me it was to trust that God knew that all these things were going to happen at this time. God also knew I could handle them, but not in that way that I had to sort it all out by myself but that I was able to rest with God and let them deal with all the curveballs. I don’t even need to catch the curveballs. That is God’s job.
I do have to be willing to let go of controlling outcomes. Not that any of us can control outcomes anyway but, oh my goodness, we all do try very hard to keep control of all situations, which just leads to more stress. If God was willing to give each of us freewill surely we should let our family and friends have freewill, even if we think we know best or could do better.
So once I’d let go of it being my responsibility for sorting other people I could hear what God wanted me to do in those situations – to be able to leave my old and new dog peacefully with a friend as I went away, to leave relationships for God to sort and not see them as a reflection of me. And I do think we too often see the way our children, especially, behave as a reflection on ourselves and how we brought them up. Instead of being as gracious as God is with us and letting them have the freewill to do what they want. That doesn’t mean we don’t pray for them but it must be a freewill prayer filled with love and grace. I think we can pray “your kingdom come” in both personal and world situations but we cannot pray “your kingdom come and it looks like X,Y,Z” because, for one, that is controlling and, two, we really really do not know the whole situation but God does.
So for me with all that was going on I was able to turn my heart toward God, to trust them in all things, to let go of trying to control and to hear what I am to do. Interestingly this has made settling the new dog into the family much easier and has helped me sleep better. Has it sorted the other things out? No! But, even though I care, I know they are not mine to sort.
So I have put Jesus back into to the centre of my heart and my life – though of course have to keep turning back to doing that again and again and again – and my life becomes much simpler.
My daughter now works at Everyman cinema and when I was visiting her recently we went to enjoy the decadence that is Everyman Cinema – comfy seats, free popcorn with one’s very expensive ticket, a cup of mint tea with real mint in it. And we watched One Battle After Another It is fun, cliqued, predictable in places, and gently shoot-em-up. Very escapist.
But this is what struck me. So when they go into hiding Bob is told codes and passwords that he must remember just in case. But he gets disillusioned, fed up, complacent, and becomes an alcoholic drug addict and forgets the codes and passwords. So when their old enemy resurfaces years later he can’t remember what to do.
It made me think about our Christian life. Along the way we do learn ways of keeping in touch with God, of casting our burdens, families, problems etc on to God. Then life gets easy and we get complacent. We often think it is how we do things and that we can pray harder, be better, work harder, do more, etc and then things will sort themselves out. We forget the “codes and passwords” that hold us there with God. We forget that there is something more out there than just us and it is “not my might nor power but by [my] Spirit says the Lord”[Zechariah 4:6]
Like Bob we fill ourselves with things that numb us rather than keep us alert. We miss what is going on around us, miss when the enemy swoops.
As the film unfurls and the enemy gets more intense so Bob connects with others who, even though they don’t know the codes know honour and friendship, and it is through this that slowly but surely he remembers the codes at the right time.
We all need people around us who are going to befriend us, and that we befriend, whether we can remember the “codes and passwords” back to God or not. Care and love for each other whether we say we are Christians or not is one of the key codes, I think.
I am grateful for this film for reminding me to keep myself awake and remembering all that God has done, is doing, and will do for me. Just a few days after watching that I’ve been hit by the enemy’s tsunami and could so easily have been sideswiped but I remembered that there is someone greater than I who created the whole universe who knows the beginning from the end, who knew this was coming and knows what the outcome is, who has promised to work to the good of all who love them. So as this latest tsunami tries to sweep away my foundations I shall remember the codes and passwords and will pray, will hand everything to the Creator of The Universe who loves me unconditionally and will hide in the shadow of their wings. [Psalm 57:1]
There are also many different types of mustard seed, as this picture above shows. There are those that are made into mustard, those we put on salads, black mustard seeds, yellow mustard seeds, and there are ones that grow into those big trees. But that is like our faith. We all have many different types of faith. Some are different types of faith in different people and some are different faiths in the same person.
For instance you can have faith for healing, for people to come to know Jesus; faith for a peaceful death, for a word of knowledge for someone; faith in trusting God that they will lead you the way you are meant to go, that you’ll have enough money; etc etc etc.
When I was with YWAM on mission I had faith that it was the right thing for me and my children, that we would always have enough money for what we needed [actually I had that in general every day life which made being a home schooling single mum much more peaceful because of the faith that God would provide – and we never went without]. Now my faith is a different shape and size and I have faith for different things because life is different now I’m married and my children are over 30!
So like the mustard seeds faith comes in different shapes and sizes for different people and for different seasons in life. Someone once said that more people get healed by prayer in developing countries because the people have to have faith in God and prayer because they do not have the medical services we have – which we often come to rely on more than God and prayer.
Sometimes the better off we are the less we rely on God and our faith can be wobbly and falling over because we think we can do it ourselves. But there is so much in our Western world that we need faith for – God to provide the right leadership for a start because it is often the decisions made in the West that affect the developing countries more than it does here.
But each of us must take our faith the size of a mustard seed and, I think, ask God firstly what we need to have faith in and secondly who we need to be leaning against
On Sunday our vicar gave us all a small packet with a mustard seed in and used it to expanded on the story Jesus said about having faith the size of a mustard seed.
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Matthew 17:20 and Luke 17:6
And we were all told to take this home, plant it and see how big it had grown by Christmas.
I worried the whole time I was going to lose it so as soon as we’d had lunch, and before taking the dog for a walk, I made sure mine was safely planted and watered.
When I pondered my attitude to this, it reminded me of when I first really met with God and how I knew from that moment on the The Creator of The Universe loved me unconditionally even though I was a single mum and not living the best life. The faith I got from that moment I was terrified of losing and so I did everything I could to water it, to grow it, to nurture it – reading my Bible, praying, going to Christian conferences, reading Christian books, going to church, being involved with church, going on mission, etc, etc. Ok there have been times when I haven’t done any of those things and have wombled on with God in a contented way still. I have never lost that faith, have seen it grow, have seen it tested, have seen it wobble, but, for the most part, have always trusted.
So I got to wondering what other people might have done with their mustard seed representing faith. [this is all speculation and not about anyone specific]
some left it at church – which is often where we can all leave our faith and do not take it home and use it at home.
some have it in their pockets still and will find it on and off when they put that coat on again – again a bit like we do with faith and find it and then forget it, then find it again but never really take it out.
some will keep it in their “going to church jacket” and will bring it out each time they are at church – which again we are all great at doing, of having great faith when we are with a company of other believers but struggle when we are on our own.
some will have lost it as they walked home – which again is what happens to faith often. The hassles of life get in the way and we lose our faith that God can.
some will have seen it as just another daft thing and won’t have engage with it – again that is what can happen when we talk about things like God working all things to the good of those who love him [Romans 8:28]. It can seem a daft thing and so we ignore it.
some will plant their seed but then will forget about it and it won’t grow, or it will grow a little bit but won’t be nurtured.
some might expect someone else to plant it for them, a spouse, friend or someone else they know – and again we all too often lean into someone else’s faith rather than our own. It is important to have friends with faith around us to hold us up but we cannot rely just on their faith. We do need our own too.
And some won’t have believed in it at all and found it all total nonsense.
Interestingly I was reading that the mustard seed is an easy seed to grow. It doesn’t need much to grow from this tiny seed to a plant that you can then use the leaves of in all sorts of cuisine. Though interestingly the article also says that economically there is no reason to grow mustard seeds, although the novelty value is good – being able to produce a jar of your own mustard to share with friends. Again this is an interesting point to take back to our mustard seed of faith. How many of us think what’s the point? Nothing will change, nothing will happen, or even “I can do it quicker myself”.
Maybe the “novelty value” has something to say to us about our faith, and about that inner feeling of connection with something higher than us.
Faith is the moving of those mountains of sickness, of poverty, of inequality, of war and aggression. But it is also that inner peace, inner, tranquillity, inner joy, inner trust, inner knowing that I am not alone, that I am love unconditionally by the Creator of The Universe. And that with that tiny bit of faith I can grow, I can flourish and maybe it is because of my faith that the birds can find shelter?
Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”
Luke 13:18-19
Or as David Marks says in Garden Focused – key reasons for growing mustard in the UK is to use it as a green manure on the soil. Now I’m all up for being a fertiliser for all things God!
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