Tag: prayer

Categories
nutrition psalm

Psalm 23 – Part 3

River walk at St Asaph. Photographed by myself April 2024

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures,

Psalm 23:1-2a

If I was being good and doing things in chronological order this one should be part 2 but hey ho! This is how I do things. Like I say I don’t promise to even do the whole Psalm but you never know. I am learning to be me more and more and more.

When we were talking about this at our house group last Friday one of my friends said something along the lines of “God leads us, we just have to follow. We don’t have to go hunting for our own food stuff“.

How often have we stressed and pondered and angst to know where to go and what to do when all along we just needed to stop, listen to God’s voice – which we are promised as his sheep we will hear [John 10:27] – but how often do we stop and listen to that voice? How often do we think we know best? Or that we don’t really hear that voice?

Perhaps we don’t trust that God cares enough about us, that we aren’t loved unconditionally. That’s a lie of the enemy! God loves each and everyone of us unconditionally and knows what is best of us. God knows where the best grass for me is – hence quite forcefully nudging me to put a very vulnerable prayer request on a WhatsApp prayer group I’m part of. But God knows that will help me as much by articulating it in WhatsApp as getting my dear friends to pray about it.

My lush fulfilling grass and yours or someone else’s won’t be the same because even though we are compared to sheep we aren’t really. We are uniquely made human beings with different personalities, different needs, different past hurts, different expectations, different skills. But all of us need to stop angsting and start trusting that the Creator of the Universe wants to lead us to the best grass for our needs because God is our parent, our carer, our maker, and our friend and wants to best for each and everyone of us no matter what circumstance we are in.

So just

STOP/WAIT

LISTEN

TRUST

and believe the Good Shepherd knows what is best for you.

Categories
freedom wallowing

When The Going Gets Tough

You Are Loved by Rossie Henderson-Begg https://rossiehb.art/ with the tea drinking covid bird underneath

What do you do when things get tough? Do you retreat into the toughness and wallow there waiting for someone to lift you out? or do you see where life is going to take? Do you go with the currents of life and trust that “all will be well and all will be and all manner of things will be well” – Julian of Norwich

I’m sharing the picture above to encourage you to sign up to my friend, Rossie’s newsletter which you can find on her website if you click the link above. Here is a young woman who has walked through tragedy, sadness and defeat, but has found a way to journey through it. She isn’t one to wallow.

Many people, whether Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, other religions or none, choose between sliding into a pit of despair when something happens – big or small – that doesn’t reach their expectations, or rising above it and accepting it as life. This can the tragic loss of someone too young and too soon, or it can be a dream that didn’t come to fruition, a relationship that they didn’t want to end that ended painfully, an exam not passed, a job not got, etc. And I’m not saying these things are not horrendous. But some people choose to stay there and wallow, almost waiting for someone to pick them up and out of it – but it can often seem that no matter what is suggested they will find a way to stay where they are.

For each of us though there is a way up and out of it.

For Rossie it is her painting, amongst other things, – which she has now bravely gone and turned into her profession. For myself it is my writing – especially the free writing – but also chatting with people. I also love to help others find that freedom and release via writing. My writing groups are not “writing for well-being” per se but they are also not for people who really want to get a book published. They are for people to explore life, the universe, their feelings, etc, via the power of creative writing!

One of my biggies too is to be outside, especially by the sea, but my local park does the same. Just to walk and enjoy the simplicity of the natural world and all its wonders helps me to get outside my own troubles, issues, and disappointments.

Prayer and connecting with God is also another amazing way. But I do think to do that one has to want to trust God to be there, not to sort things out but to hold, to love, and to listen, for prayer to turn one’s heart around. Not the situation, but one’s heart. Too often, I think, there is a disappointment with God because he doesn’t sort things as the person praying would like – doesn’t heal, bring back from the dead, restore the relationship, make the dream work out as one hoped.

Healing via QEC is another one for me. I know others who’ve found a sense of healing through Sozo, talking therapies, and many other ways. But these things must be used as a place to be freed not to prolong things. The same is true is prayer. There is no point keep mithering at God that things didn’t work out as you wanted but, like with the above therapies, it has to be a way to be healed and to move on.

My point from this post is to say that my friend could have wallowed in her grief and despair, even whilst doing her painting, but she chose not to. [check out her photo on her website] But I know of many others who choose to stay in that place. And for some I think they stay, not because they like it, but because they believe the world is a scary place and so it is better to stay in their fear, anxiety, sorrow and loss, than to step out and get slammed all over again.

There is always a choice – to stay and wallow or to find a way out of that place.

    If you check out my earlier blog – Diane’s Daily Thoughts – you’ll see I am talking from experience. And this blog from March 2012 only shows a snapshot of my journey through disappointment, loss and other shit. When someone read my Day of The Dead post they said “I didn’t realise you had dealt with so much loss”!

    Categories
    friendship mithering

    Uselessness

    Latest flowers from Hilltop Garden Flowers photographed by myself June 2024

    Does the title of this blog jar with you? How often do we think we should be useful? should be “doing something worthwhile”? Even with God we think we ought to be useful – even when we stop to pray we think it should be useful and praying about stuff to help God with their sorting out of the world.

    Now I am not against social justice or supporting and helping other people. I fully agree with James’ words that “faith without works is dead” [James 2:26] but I do think, as much as that means working with God and supporting people and nature and issues that need support, I think it also means a faith that works in the knowing there is enough and that when I pray “God’s will be done” that I have changed something. That change doesn’t happen because I’m amazing but because I believe God is amazing.

    I have really been enjoying this latest run of meditations from Henri Nouwen looking at solitude with God. And it is in here that he explores the ideas of us emptying ourselves of everything as we come before God, knowing God has enough for us, but also is great enough to sort the whole world out by themselves.

    In James’s example as well as saying about when you see someone hungry or in need you help them, the example he uses at the end is Rahab. Rahab believes that the God of the Israelites is greater than the gods of her people so, as well as hiding the spies, also ties a red cord to her window so that she gets rescued and becomes part of the Israelite nation. So more than just doing good things!

    In Nouwen’s meditations he says how we need to empty ourselves of everything to truly be with God. That also means all our anxieties and worries. I think sometimes when we come to God to pray about something we come with it as an anxiety so that when we do pray about it we are praying from a place of nervousness or fear. We are not praying from a place of openness and trust. So we often pray “God, can you just do x,y&z” rather than “Amazing God I trust you and place this situation into your hands to do as I know you know best” and then leave it with God.

    Jesus said to his followers that he now called them friends not servants [John 15:15] which means he now saw them as people to hang out not to tell them what to do, or them to ask things of him. I met with a friend the other day. Whilst we were together we chatted, shared our lives, suggested supportive things to each other, but on the whole just unloaded a bit. At the end she said she enjoyed being with me because she could say things to me that she would like to say to the people concerned but struggled to say. She isn’t going to now say those things to the people we were talking about but she says she now feels like she can deal with the situation. I know that I feel the same too when I’m with friends I can be myself with. Like I’ve left a bit of something that was on my mind with them. Not for them to fix but because they are my friends.

    I think that is a bit like God wants. Not for us to come to God to get them to sort out things but for us to unload, to empty ourselves but then we can sit in companionable silence with God because we are empty. And we can then know that actually God, the Creator of the Universe, doesn’t want to be with us because we can help them with their plans for humanity but so that we can know how “useless” we are before them but how loved we are.

    Nouwen also believes that as we empty ourselves of our need to be useful so we give more room for others – friends, family and enemies – to join with us and to sit with us and our amazing God. He believes that when we are trying to be “useful” to God we try to control the situation too much.

    In the Lord’s Prayer Jesus said “”Focus your light within us and create your reign of unity now. Your will come true in the universe [all that vibrates] just as on earth [all that is material]” [Aramaic version] or “your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

    Empty ourselves of mithering at God and open ourselves up to being loved for our uselessness by the awesome creator of the Universe who was and is and is to come!

    Categories
    Distractions enough peace

    Distracted By Many Things

    Single focus dog. Photographed by myself Cardiff April 2024

    This week I have been distracted by many things. I’ve got 3 workshops I am running with funding from Creu Conwy which seemed to have taken ages to finalise but now are imminent. The first two are next week! Also they are in the evening – one from 5-7pm and the other from 6-8pm, times when I am usually in that downward curve energy-wise and just want to mooch about and watch TV. Though I have had a few nights where I have been functioning after my 6pm deadline – once with a new churchy-style group that we’ve started in my house and a couple of trips to the cinema with hubby. But I’m panicking about these workshops because I will have to be the one who is fully alert.

    It has amazed me how quickly I get distracted. I’m also doing an online writing course which is great but again is making me worry about that old adage of “not having enough time”. How many times have I written about not having enough. Perhaps I need to be reading my writings not just writing them??

    But it also means that, even though I have been reading my Bible meditations and thinking I’ve not been thinking deeply. Not letting things penetrate into my heart.

    This week’s Henri Nouwen thoughts are about Celebrating and how one needs to be in that moment to really celebrate, how lots of what and when we celebrate is a going through the motions rather than actually celebrating. So the event is something that sits between the stress of planning and the anticlimax after the event, but that celebration should be a lifestyle thing. I need to remember that I am to enjoy running these workshops and not just caught up in the preparation and then the feedback.

    So once again I am like Martha [Luke 10:38-42] where Jesus says “Martha you are worried about many thing but the better thing is to sit at my feet like your sister“.

    I was worrying about things. Ok not little things. These things are quite big – running these writing workshops, not being too exhausted because of the time I am doing them, getting the work handed in for the writing workshop I have paid for, and the having enough sleep, time, ability!

    Interestingly the other night I was awake worrying about, of all things, having enough energy and enough time, exasperated by being awake from 3.30-5.30am. I had a full day in front of me and a long list of planning not just for the workshop but other things that I had to do. But, as you’ve probably already guessed, I got everything that needed to be done on the list completed and even managed to stay up till 10pm with my husband watching TV as well has having walked my 10,000+ steps. It was as if God was saying “look you can do it. All will be well”.

    Also I do know I have the ability to run these workshops. I do an amazing job every Tuesday fortnight with my regular group and can pull things from the depths of my brain when needed. I know I can do it but I get distracted and once I get distracted I move away from God and also move away from celebrating the joys of being alive.

    As I’ve said before though, there is an order for how this comes about. To really be able to feel I have enough I need to be at Peace. From that place of Peace comes a deep Joy and only then do I believe I have Enough. And what has gone on this week is that I had to realign my autonomic nervous system back to a place of peace – which does just take a few moments of breathing and looking at the window, of remembering what I have to be grateful for, and forgiving myself and others. For me going through the Lord’s Prayer but an Aramaic translation, helps me.

    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/88875792626618323/

    Only then do I start to remember that deeper joy that is a bedrock not a happy feeling. And it is then that I feel like I have enough. Today it means I can say “I have enough time to do a blog post – with many pictures – before going away for the weekend even though my first workshop is Tuesday”.

    My whole thoughts have been consumed by these workshops to the point where a friend asked me for coffee and I said I was too busy!!! And also nearly didn’t go south with my husband to see his Mum which has now turned out to be a trip to see my Mum too. Goodness me! Fancy me thinking I don’t have enough time to see family or friends! As well as the Lord’s Prayer I did have to have a chat with my covid-bird to be reminded that friends and cups of tea are important.

    Picture first shared on Relearning June 2023

    Categories
    may day prayer

    May Day

    Renly says “Happy May Day” with a glass of isle of Bute gin. Photograph taken May 2023 by myself

    The sun is shining here in North Wales and it was shining last May on the Isle of Bute where we holiday this time last year. The sun is really welcoming in the season and the weather feels different. We are again about to go on holiday [so no blogs for abut 10 days]. This year we’re off to the North Yorkshire coast, to a place I’ve wanted to visit for a couple of years. Not the area but the cottage – hot tub, gin bar, 2 mins walk to the beach, properly dog friendly. I’m hoping it is as wonderful as my expectations.

    I’m not sure about you but a new month always comes with expectations to me. I love to turn over the calendar, see what the picture is, see what we’ve got planned. After 20+ days the current month starts to look jaded. I’ve read what we’re doing enough by then. Many events have passed. But now we are on a new month with the first week of it taken up with holiday!

    But I wonder what happens when we don’t have things to look forward to, when we don’t have expectation about some planned event.

    Where there is no vision, the people perish…

    Proverbs 29:18

    Proverbs tells us that without a vision, without a hope for the future, people perish or cast off restraint, which can mean they just go their own way, get caught up in things that will take their minds off where they are now – drugs, alcohol, binge watching, mental health issues, etc. And I am sure it is what leads to greed, wars, fear, hatred.

    As I look forward to my holiday I think about those migrants whose fears for themselves and their families outstrip even their desire to stay in their homeland. All I can do is pray for them, realise that not everyone is as privileged as I am, but also not allow myself to get drag down into that place of no hope. If I don’t have hope for a better future when I go on holiday all I am doing is escaping – like the person who gets wasted on drugs or alcohol.

    Strange as it sounds, I believe, that if I can hold that juxtapose position of praying for migrants, for those who don’t have, etc, along with enjoying my holiday, my life, the sunshine, then I can be of more good to the world around me, have a more sustained prayer life than if I was either miserable and depressed about the world or totally pollyannaish about it all or escapist.

    So as the sun shines, as I pack for my holiday, I hold those who don’t and can’t do this up in prayer to God. And I have found the most wonderful thing is that if I am truly trusting God then I can give this stuff I am led to pray about to God knowing that God will do what God knows best to do – day after day after day.

    Categories
    dog prayer

    A Little Trip Away

    This is a photo from April 2015 when the dog and I were off on a train to see my daughter in London but he still has that same excited face whenever i start to pack.

    My husband can go off on trips and the dog doesn’t seem to get so excited by it, or nervous. But if I put a bag of any kind – whether holdall or suitcase – but my side of our bedroom and start to add clothes to it Renly gets clingy and won’t leave my side. He knows something is going on.

    Well this week we aren’t going far. It is my first trip to see my Mum this year. We left it would be good to leave it until the storms of winter had passed so it was safer driving down. The last time I went in December I had a storm follow me down the M6/M5 most of the way. Well tomorrow we travel down in the aftermath of Storm Kathleen, which I think is the first storm since the one I drove down in at the end of the last year!!!!!

    If it rains I have to pray more, not just for my safety but because my faithful traveler, who used to enjoy a good road trip, has got scared of the noise of the swish of the rain under the car as we drive along. So it will be 4-5 hours of the radio up loud and me praying that angels calm my dog.

    To me honest last time it was only the praying that angels hugged my dog and kept him calm that stopped him barking not the £15 calming spray I lathered the inside of the car in!!!

    Again it seems a bit of a lesson still being learned – Pray sooner!!! Hopefully this trip I will learn that and trust that God and the angels will travel with us and keep my road-trip companion calm and quiet.

    So even though I’ve got a growing list of things I have ideas for blogs on they are going to have to wait until I return next week and see if they are still ideas I want to pursue or whether things have moved on.

    Have a good week X

    Actively waiting for the train. April 2015

    Categories
    enough prayer

    Why Does It Take So Long To Remember to Pray?

    Last night this little man was not very well [This is not a photograph from last night :)] He woke about 10.30 and we were up and wandering the streets till about 1pm with him with a squiggie tummy. Thankfully I live in a very safe area and did not see a soul whilst wandering about. And also the promised rain did not appear during the times I was out.

    Eventually we crawled back into bed again and he wrapped himself around me like a child with a bad tummy needing a hug. It was then that I prayed for Jesus to heal Renly’s tummy and for me to get a good night’s sleep – what was left of it. Of course Renly was asleep in seconds and slept in until gone 7 and I was asleep not long after and woke when the next door neighbour started his car to go to work just before 7.

    What struck me was why didn’t I pray sooner?

    From the moment Renly woke I work through a range of emotions. Some of which were: resigned that this is what I had to do; being mad at him for eating some that had upset his tummy; being angry that once he was outside he seemed more than happy to be going for a walk on a street light pavements; gratitude that we live in a safe neighbourhood and do have grass pavements; fed up with myself that I kept getting dressed and didn’t just make him go in the backyard rather than the street; to just a bit fed up with it. Nearly 3 hours it took me before I thought of praying!!!

    How often do we all do that? Especially if it is a situation we can cope with? We take the “I can handle this on my own” attitude rather than “Ok Father I need someone to lean on”.

    It wasn’t lack of faith or lack of trust because once I prayed I truly believed God would heal my dog and give me the sleep I needed. I just took a while to get there. Perhaps it comes from something deep seated about not wanting to worry God about trivial things when there is so much else going on in the world?

    I am grateful that even though I was independent to begin with God didn’t tell me I should have asked soon. No God just got on and healed my dog’s tummy so that we could both sleep.

    There’s no reprimanding with God. No blaming. No if onlys. No “you should have asked sooner“. God just always turns up when we turn to God and is there for us. And for that I am more than grateful.

    And I only hope I can remember this and pray sooner, give the whole thing to God sooner, and be able to rest in the situation. And not think that my stuff isn’t important ‘enough‘ to bother God with!

    Categories
    Holy Week pondering

    Thank You For Walking Through Holy Week with me

    Abergwyngregyn Nature Reserve, Gwynedd, North Wales. Photographed 2nd April 2024

    I want to say a huge thank you for journey with me and my random thoughts through Holy Week and beyond. I don’t know about you but I’ve really enjoyed marking this space and looking at things a bit differently. I’m not sure about you but for me, sometimes, to turn things on their side helps deepen my faith, whereas looking at things the same way as I’ve always done can make things a bit stale.

    This morning I cemented my Holy week and beyond thoughts by taking myself for a walk at one of my favourite places. It is a walk of about 3-3 1/2 miles and takes about 90 mins. It is by the sea looking across the Menai Straights but with the sounds of the A55 North Wales Expressway and the main Holyhead to Cardiff railway line running always to the other side. It is a place where my dog can be off the lead for the whole 90 mins which I enjoy for him as much as for myself. Also a 3 min drive from the walk is the most wonderful community cafe where the dog gets a free sausage and I get a wonderful breakfast so very much a win-win!

    I saw one other person on the whole walk and he was standing peacefully looking out to sea and we just exchanged that polite “Morning” before going back to our own thoughts. I have lots of thoughts from it which I will share later on, maybe.

    But I will end these Holy Week and beyond ponderings with a prayer by Walter Brueggemann that Joshua Luke Smith shared on yesterday’s The Main Event email

    On Generosity

    On our own, we conclude:

    there is not enough to go around

    we are going to run short

    of money

    of love

    of grades

    of publications

    of sex

    of beer

    of members

    of years

    of life

    we should seize the day

    seize our goods

    seize our neighbours goods

    because there is not enough to go around

    and in the midst of our perceived deficit

    you come

    you come giving bread in the wilderness

    you come giving children at the 11th hour

    you come giving homes to exiles

    you come giving futures to the shut down

    you come giving easter joy to the dead

    you come – fleshed in Jesus.

    and we watch while

    the blind receive their sight

    the lame walk

    the lepers are cleansed

    the deaf hear

    the dead are raised

    the poor dance and sing

    we watch

    and we take food we did not grow and

    life we did not invent and

    future that is gift and gift and gift and

    families and neighbours who sustain us

    when we did not deserve it.

    It dawns on us – late rather than soon-

    that you “give food in due season

    you open your hand

    and satisfy the desire of every living thing.”

    By your giving, break our cycles of imagined scarcity

    override our presumed deficits

    quiet our anxieties of lack

    transform our perceptual field to see

    the abundance………mercy upon mercy

    blessing upon blessing.

    Sink your generosity deep into our lives

    that your muchness may expose our false lack

    that endlessly receiving we may endlessly give

    so that the world may be made Easter new,

    without greedy lack, but only wonder,

    without coercive need but only love,

    without destructive greed but only praise

    without aggression and invasiveness….

    all things Easter new…..

    all around us, toward us and

    by us

    all things Easter new.

    Finish your creation, in wonder, love and praise.

    Amen.

    Categories
    Holy Week Wednesday

    Holy Wednesday

    My little dog, Renly, and Mikey the greyhound who I walk twice a week. Photographed 25th March 2024 by myself. Both dogs but both not only very different in size but in temperament. Mikey is very nervy and scared of his own shadow whereas Renly would take on the world

    I am really enjoying working my way through Holy Week, looking at things differently and see what God reveals to me, and then sharing it with you.

    Today the verses read in churches are Judas betraying Jesus [Matthew 26:14-16] and Mary anointing Jesus at Simon the Lepers house [Matthew26:6-13] Interestingly the gospel of John puts Mary anointing Jesus as six days before Passover and the day before Palm Sunday. But I’m going with the Matthew order because it suits my story letting and the point I’d like to make. See we all change things to suit what we would like to say 🙂

    So there are three key people in these stories –

    • Judas, who has followed Jesus for about three years, has been picked as one of the top twelve, knows Jesus intimately, was there when Peter said “You are the Christ”, and yet wants to force Jesus’s hand. It is like he has worked out, though what he has heard from Jesus, what the ultimate goal is, and so he wants to take control, do things his way and move things along a bit. He knows that the high priests want to do something to get rid of Jesus, but I think Judas believes that if he takes control then Jesus will smite all who are oppressing the people. Really following from Jesus’s trashing of the temple the religious leaders were exploiting the people in their worship as much as the Romans were exploiting the people in their regular work life. So Judas had it worked out and “knew” he could sort things out.
    • Simon the Leper, was high up in society, has money and influence, and sees in Jesus maybe a kindred spirit. He knows this is someone he needs to get in with, to get to know better. He can pick up that there is something about Jesus that he likes and wants more of. So he invites Jesus to a meal to chat with him, to find out more about him, to work out whether he is worth supporting.
    • Mary, the woman who “wastes” an expensive perfume anointing Jesus. Tradition says she could have been a prostitute but we don’t know, but from Simon’s reaction she isn’t the sort of person who should be messing with the man he might sponsor. We never know where she gets the perfume. It has been said she saved it up from her prostitution work, but that was a lot of perfume so either she was a high-class prostitute or she was quite old. I do like the idea of her being a high-class whore and that some of the men eating with Jesus at the moment, and maybe even Simon himself, had known her intimately and it had been some of their money that had paid towards that perfume. Anyway wherever it came from she doesn’t care. She is so in love with this man and sees so much in him that she wants to just abundantly worship him and not give a stuff what anyone else things.

    So we have

    • The believer who wants things done their way
    • The almost believer who wants more proof before they commit
    • The abundant worshiper who crazily worships without need control, details or proof.

    So which one are you? Which one am I?

    I would say I’m all three.

    • Sometimes I get mad at Jesus because I believe I know what the right way would be, what God should/shouldn’t do. But then I and either God doesn’t tell me what I want to hear, or for a situation I don’t get the answers I think are right for that given situation. This is because God see the bigger picture. But I still, at times, would like to force God’s hand.
    • Sometimes I am wary of committing and would like a bit more proof, please. Like that whole thing of not being open about what I believe, not telling people I’m praying for them. But also at times not praying or doing because I’ve felt I’ve been let down by God before and so I don’t quite trust them.
    • And then there are times when I need no proof and don’t care what the outcome is or what other people thing but just trust in Jesus and am able to worship with a free heart.

    I believe all three of these people appear at this part of the story to help us see who diverse we are. None of these people are wrong [Jesus had to be crucified so it wasn’t Judas who did it but it was God’s plan – another blog maybe???] All were doing what we all do at certain times during our Christian walk – getting mad and trying to control God, wanting more proof, unhindered worship.

    I think we need to learn to be kinder on ourselves and realise God knows us fully, loves us fully, died for us fully, and so it is ok to roll between these different ways that we accept Jesus, but also at the end of Monday’s post, come back to forgiving – ourselves, each other, God – and not feel guilty for “getting it wrong again”

    Also when I think too often we think of singing as singing. And there is nothing wrong with that. But as when Mary anoints Jesus she is worshiping by making a bit of a spectacle of herself and giving away something important. Sometimes, I think, that for me that can listening to the old ladies I see on my dog walk and not judging, not telling them what they should do, but really listening, and then giving it to God afterwards. Sometimes it is chattering to the birds and the trees and the sea and the sky and telling it how amazing it is.

    With Mary it moves back to that thing from Palm Sunday of what would I be willing to give to Jesus in extravagant worship, like with the laying of the coats in front of the donkey?

    Categories
    Holy Week Monday

    Holy Monday

    A wild sea has pulled a bouy from wherever it was attached. For me this is what Jesus does on “Holy Monday”. He causes a storm and pulls things that people were using for protection loose.

    My two favourite stories happen on “Holy” Monday. One that no one can get their heads round where Jesus curses the fig tree and then when Jesus really lets loose in the temple and kicks arse.

    The cursing of the fig tree is told in one go in Matthew 21:18-22 but in Mark it is split into two halves with the trashing of the temple put between the curse and the explanation, which I think is great story telling. {Mark 11:12-26]

    Picture Mark’s storytelling. Get him sat with you in a room. You are gathered round waiting to hear all this. You also know that this is the week leading up to Jesus’ death.

    So Mark tells of the glorious peaceful procession into Jerusalem. Then it is like Jesus has one of those blips like we all do when something wonderful has happened. We get grouchy at the deflation of things. How many times have you done something amazing, celebrated your success then felt like you could fight the world the following day? Or is that just me???

    But remember Jesus knows that is going to happen in a couple of days time. Or maybe he doesn’t know it is this Passover but knows that his death has to come one a Passover soon and it could be this one.

    This past week I’ve had a cough, been shivery and also felt just yuck, but I remembered it was the anniversary of both my sister and my friend’s deaths. Both of which were unexpected and traumatic. My body was reacting and going into fight/flight/freeze mode because it was remembering what was going to happen.

    Jesus knew what was going to happen. And I suspect he knew it was going to be this Passover because it is said that this one was a long one [Might explain more in a later post]. The signs were right. I think, if Jesus was truly human then he was scared too.

    Anyway he is going into Jerusalem on those days of preparation for this long Passover and sees a tree looking good but with nothing to feed anyone from. Then he turns up at the Temple and it is a mess of capitalism and corruption. Looking good but not feeding anyone. The temple laws are being obeyed – people having to have the right things for the right sacrifices – but it was not being obeyed with the loving heart of God.

    Jesus needs things right before he dies. This is not how people should be called into worship and connect with God. They need to be free of rules and be able to come as they are. Jesus was preparing the temple for his death and resurrection. Like giving it a spring clean.

    Slight detour but …. before I go on holiday I like to give my house a super clean, tidy, change the bed, having everything tidied, clean and in order. So that when I come back from holiday I come home to a lovely looking house. It is a reason why I don’t have house sitters. They might keep it clean but things won’t be as I’d like them. I do wonder if this is what Jesus wanted with the temple – for it to be spring cleaned and as it should be so that when he rose again the following week things were “in place”.

    But also I wonder if he was setting things up so the leaders were angry enough to want to get rid of him. Was this another of those God-plots where God makes sure everything is in place for what they want to do?

    I do love how Mark bookends the temple episode with the fig tree. It gets cursed on the way in and then on the way out Jesus use the dead tree as a metaphor to talk about having faith. It finishes with Jesus saying

    Whenever you stand up to pray, you must forgive others for what they have done to you. Then your Father in heaven will forgive your sins.

    Everything you ask for in prayer will be yours if you only have faith

    Mark 11:25-26 and 24

    It is great storytelling. Clear out the greed and need for order and to “get things right”. Stop looking good but not being nourishing to others. Then forgive those who’ve done you wrong [people and God] whether they are sorry or not. And then you can ask for anything in prayer with faith. And God will answer you as God knows best. Trusting in your heavenly Father and not in what you think is a good idea.