Categories
being real no agenda

Tis The Season Of The Resolution

I’m randomly scrolling through Facebook and watching TV and entering into 2026 with a sense of chilledness with a dog either side of me snoring gently.

As I Facebook-scrolled I came across two contradictory posts. Now as a Christian I know there is an expectation that I should follow this one

but something in this made me uncomfortable. I also find it amusing because it is posted by a church leader. I wonder how he’d feel if I went into his church and did things to upset him????

Also I do think religious leaders are doing a great job and I wouldn’t want to deliberately upset them. There are times when, yes they do make mistakes, get things wrong, get too caught up in one theology or way of doing things, but I know I wouldn’t like the job. I’d love doing the sermons and hanging out with people but I’d hate to try to lead an organisation full of fallen, sinful, often unpopular people. So yes there are times when I know I’ve upset religious leaders but I didn’t set out to do that. Also I’m not sure Jesus did.

I think Jesus loved those people so much that he wanted to help them see that their rules and religiosity weren’t doing them any favours. Though my daughter used to say that she thought Jesus was upsetting the religious leaders of his time by doing healings on the Sabbath. To me that is a great question to debate. Maybe another blog post???

Also if we take the verse “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” [Romans 3:23] means that everyone we hang out with are sinners. Though I’m sure this person is meaning noticeable sinners, those ones we can chalk up as “look at who I’m being friends with”.

For me I choose my friends by who God places across my path and who I feel led to be with. Some are people others like and some are ones others don’t, but I can’t think of any who would be labelled “unpopular”. Also by the time they are my friends I wouldn’t notice whether they are popular or not. They are just “my friends”, the lovely eclectic mix of them. Also it is why I did personal new year messages to my close friends, because they are not a generic “friendship group”.

Unfortunately this isn’t the post that I reacted to initially but by the time I tried to find it -and it was almost directly opposite of the above about being careful who you’re friends with because you need to look after your own heart and well-being. That old adage of “put your gas mask on first” which I’ve seen many Christians think isn’t “Christ-like” and have charged in hurting and being hurt.

Anyway this the nearest I can find. It’s from Tiny Buddha – and often I find I can relate to the Tiny Buddha posts more than the evangelical Christian ones.

To me this is the God I follow, this is the Jesus I see in the gospels – someone who noticed what was around them, who loved people so much he was willing to give his whole life to them, was grateful always even to the end, saw the beauty in things and took things slowly. I think Jesus did what he did because he was going slow, was deeply observing things, and did as he knew needed to be done at that moment in time. I don’t think Jesus picked his friends because they were “sinners” or unpopular or any other criteria. I think he picked them because he saw them and knew them for what they truly were. And that’s how I want to be.

Yes I will do my best this year to walk with kindness, love and mercy, but also with peace, dignity, gratitude and trust. I’ll be my best not to pick those I see and the things I do with any agenda other than what I notice as I move gracefully through the day – with a manic dog on each arm [Definitely getting a 3 year old chug is a lesson in patience and perseverance!!! 🙂 ]

Willow and Renly, Newborough Beach 28th December 2025

Categories
harvest mature

Harvest

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This Sunday was Harvest Festival at our church followed by a church lunch. I’m not sure if all churches do this but ours seems to be pudding filled. So one eats soup and a bread roll then overdoses of puddings and finishes up with a sugar headache later in the day. Or maybe that’s just me.

Anyway our vicar was talking about Harvest and its meanings and I was struck by the parts about how harvest is about bringing in mature crops, crops that were at the end of their growing seasons, and if they weren’t harvested they would go rotten in the fields. These then generate income for the farmer and nutrition/food for both the farmer and whoever they sell their produce to. Harvest is all part of our global economy. Without it we all die – literally. I think for so many of us that buy from shops and supermarkets we lose the importance of this. Even though who do have allotments or grow in their garden they still are not fully reliant on what they produce for their livelihoods or to feed themselves.

With those thoughts in mind it makes this verse seem slightly different –

Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

Matthew 9:37-38

Now I’ve always taken this, and probably heard it preached, that this meant we were to go out and evangelise the poor lost people, put them on the right track, and teach them about Jesus. But if you think about the crops being mature, being ready, important for the economy and likely to go rotten if not harvested I think it puts a different spin on it.

I wonder if Jesus meant for us to look at people and to see that they were more than ready to be harvested. They weren’t immature people needing us to treat them like they know nothing, but were/are people who know a lot, have a lot to offer and are able to feed us who are already in the church. It is a waste to just bring it into barns and store it for some unknown future. The harvest has to be inputting into the economy immediately. In fact it is integral to the ongoing life of the community.

I wonder too if Jesus’ disciples understood something more than we do when Jesus said this. Back in Jesus time the multitudes who were following Jesus would have believed in the One God who led them out of Israel and made them a people group and would have been looking for the Promised Messiah. Really, I think, what Jesus was saying was that his disciples was that they needed to take these mature crops/people and bring them fully into His Kingdom – which is what happened at Pentecost. When “those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day” [Acts 2:41] they didn’t have to them go on Bible study courses, discipleship courses, how to be part of our church courses. No. They were accepted as mature and ready and it was left to God the Holy Spirit to train and lead them. Yes it is said they did listen to the apostles teachings [though I wonder if that was just the disciples and those who had travelled regularly with Jesus just saying what had gone on and not a sermon of what had to/had not to be done] but it did not preclude them from being part of things.

I think we need to be looking at those we know, those we come into contact with, and realise which ones are mature and ready to be harvested. Then we need be willing to let them loose into the church and trust that God will do as God knows what’s best to do.

I know one of my biggest frustrations when I first was “harvested” was being held back and told I was not “mature”. According to the description of what harvest is and the Matthew 9 verse those who are harvested are mature and ready to contribute to the life of the Kingdom. Ok they will maybe mess things up a bit, make things a bit untidy because they don’t “know the rules” [which are often manmade anyway!] but is that really such a bad thing?

Categories
joy truth

Gifts of …

part two of thoughts from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe Musical

https://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/narnia-peters-susans-lucys-father-137608235

Father Christmas gives the Pevensie children gifts which he says are gifts of “joy and truth” – which is interesting as they are weapons but I’m not going down that one. Though after reading Richard Rohr’s latest about how direct non-violent action is about

redistribut[ing] the tension that is already there and puts it back where it belongs—at the source.

https://cac.org/daily-meditations/peacemaking-is-not-niceness/

maybe swords and arrows are a good representation of joy and truth but also of hope, peace and freedom?

But these gifts need to be used. Peter couldn’t kill the wolf if he kept his sword in his scabbard. Lucy couldn’t heal unless she used drops of her potion. In Prince Capsian the children couldn’t have come back if the horn had not been blown.

I believe all of us have been given gifts to make this world a freer, more peaceful, more joyful, safer place and yet too often there is the cry of “why don’t they do something” when it could be us.

Ok so I’m not going to be Prime Minister or anything major in business, in technology, on leadership worldwide, but I can via using my gifts of encouragement, of writing, of being able to chat to people, change one person at a time, who would then go on to change someone else and so on and so forth.

It is said there are only six degrees of separation between one person and the next – ie that each of us are only six people away from connecting with each other. And some of us are even closer. My next-door neighbour was telling me how when she was visiting a new friend she looked at her wedding photo and saw one of her close friends on that photo. Turns out my neighbour’s friend had been close to her new friend when her new friend got married.

So think this through – this means that each of us are six people or less, away from someone of influence. So if we are kind and helpful to the person in the park, they can take that kindness and encouragement to the next person in their sphere and so on. Very much the change the world one starfish at a time [this is an interesting read because it talks of the origins of this story too!]

So today I pledge to go out and use my gifts of chat, of encouragement and of words to help those in my sphere to know freedom from fear, know hope, know peace, know joy and trust. And from there to be able to fully live their lives as they are called to do so they can use their gifts for joy, trust, hope, peace and freedom.

Categories
freedom unite

What Would You Unite For?

On the last day I drove my car [even though I didn’t at that time know it was the last day] I went to see a matinee of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. It is story I’ve got a lot of affinity with because I read it many times to my children when they were little and then played Mrs Beaver in a Bath City Church version twelve years ago.

The musical is great, though challenging at the beginning because the Pevensie children are all played by actors with dark skins which got me thinking about how that could have been possible. We’ve all just assumed they were white. Although it does say Lucy has fair hair so …. But it is good to be challenged to rethink what we’ve just taken for granted.

From the musical came a few questions I’ve been pondering. One of which relates back to the Unite marches and the division that could be seen there.

There is a point in it that they talk of Freedom from the White Witch. The White Witch is seen as bad because she makes it “winter but never Christmas”. But interestingly she has a large following who don’t seem to be following her through fear but for other reasons we never get to know.

I wonder, if we really talked to those people on the marches, instead of just presuming we know what they think, but get allowed to look through their Truth window what we would really see.

Over the weekend we chatted with some lovely friends and we got on to the empowered/powerless talk and the “why don’t they just get a job?”. We are all educated, all well read, all reasonably confident. We’ve all been willing to get on and do and we see our kids getting on and doing. Theirs are 10 years younger but still you can see how they deal with life. My daughter is going through a tough time at the moment but she is proactive and walking through it. They, and we, are all empowered people. We would all probably unite behind someone who would give everyone their freedom, support all, bring everyone “up” in the world.

Yet I look at a friend’s family who are addicts, keep getting in trouble with the Police, keep waiting for someone to help them up but are not able to do it themselves. They are, for whatever reason, powerless. I could see them uniting around someone who would tell them they are in the situation they are in because it is someone else’s fault.

But then on Sunday I went back to church for the first time in ages [I have popped in and out but this felt like a coming back] and during a very interesting sermon one of the things that struck me was, firstly the whole thing of knowing Jesus, but more importantly than that it was knowing that we were loved and accepted just as we are. And we need to know that deep deep in ourselves before we take it out to others. This, I believe, is where true empowerment comes from. Yes many are blessed/lucky to have it within themselves and to know, whether through understanding parents, friends, or healing, that they are accepted powerful human beings. But I think, even those who lead and look powerful are deep inside hurting and are not really and truly free.

But how do we know we are loved? I think too often the Church sees love as the congregation doing things, not of being and being accepted but of doing things for the Church and for God. But I think we need to, as Christine Sine said Slow Down a bit and see the wonder, the wonder not just around us but within us. Each of us are amazingly created people if we only believe that, if we are only bold enough to let others see our Truth window, for us ourselves to see our own Truth window.

Here’s a poem for Christine that talks of slowing down, of seeing the wonder. And as she says it is seeing the pain and suffering as well as the breathtaking beauty.

Walking in the fastest pace for noticing
Slow down,
Walking is the fastest pace,
For noticing,
For paying attention,
To the pain of our suffering world
And the breathtaking beauty
Of its wonder.
Slow down,
Look, listen, touch,
Anchor yourself to the earth.
Absorb the input of your senses,
The details that speak
Of your aliveness,
In a world that seems consumed
By death.
Slow down,
Hold onto the sacrifices
Of love and compassion,
Be generous,
Embrace diversity.
Sit in awe and wonder
Of the One
Who is making all things new.

Christine Sine - Meditation Monday [22nd September 2025]

So how do we unite for Freedom? I think, we need to know we are loved and accepted for who we are not what we do, and need to slow down, see the wonder within and without, and work out what Freedom really means to us.

Categories
truth vulnerable

Truth Window

For a while, but definitely since the “Unite the Kingdom” marches in London on Saturday, I’ve been wanting to write a post with my thoughts around it. Then this morning I read this great piece by Messy Nessy about the 13 Things they’d found on the internet recently and the first one, the Truth Window, jumped out at me.

A truth window is an opening in a wall surface, created to reveal the layers or components within the wall. A small section of a wall is left unplastered on the interior, and a frame is used to create a window which shows only straw, which makes up the inside of the wall. The possible vulnerability of a truth window to moisture intrusion is sometimes raised as a concern.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_window

For me it is that idea of being able to see what something/someone is made of and this idea of being vulnerable that I found exciting and interesting and much needed. We all need to know what is really going on inside people, inside ourselves, and be willing to be vulnerable both by what we show and what we see. Too often all we see, and all we show, are those outer walls that we have build and thickened and made strong because we think it makes us safe when it is our vulnerability with each other that truly makes us safe and truly makes us united.

I hope as I share on here and on my Substack I show a little of my truth window, my vulnerability. But also I hope I am willing to notice other people’s truth windows and see what they are really made of inside and not what they have plastered themselves over with in the hope of staying hidden and supposedly safe.

Categories
eyes hope

Curve Balls

So as I told you in my last post I’d been told that I’d been told not to drive. Today I got confirmation that my driving days are over. Thanking God that I had lens replacement surgery 13 years ago and so my vision forward is fine and I can still read and write. But now it is official that I can’t drive again. I’ve been thrown a curve ball

in the sport of baseball, a throw in which the ball curves as it moves towards the player with the bat:

something unexpected and difficult to deal with that changes a situation:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/curveball

I must admit I never knew the baseball term, curve ball, but the other definition is correct. Though really it doesn’t feel difficult to deal with . It just feels something to deal with that is unexpected. Yes it does change my whole situation and make life very different. I will no longer be able to get in the car first thing in the morning and go to a deserted beach. But I do have a friend who used to be a bus driver who is going to help navigate getting to far flung places. The other day I did get the bus to the beach and realised what an advantage there is. I could get off the beach at one place. Walk for a couple of miles and then get on a different bus further a long the beach. I didn’t have to go back to where I’d started and get my car.

I love this quote from Jon Stewart ….

‘the unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life,

is that there is no core curriculum.

the entire place is an elective.’

-jon stewart

Found on I don’t have my glasses on ….

I think too often we expect to be able to choose that core curriculum, make those decisions on what we want our life to be. In many self-help books we are told this is what we should do – set goals, make place, know where we want to go or we won’t get there. And ok yes there is some truth in that but I think we always need to be ready for when life takes us off that core curriculum, when an elective is chucked in front of us, when we have to dodge or catch that curve ball. But too often when those things get thrown at us we react badly because it is not what we wanted, not what we think we deserve, not what we think should happen in our lives that we are struggling to control.

So not being able to drive was not my plan for my life at this moment in time, but then, as I explore writing my memoir tales, a lot happened in my life that, even though I let happen, even orchestrated, it wasn’t really what I wanted. The awesome thing now is that I can lean into God, trust God let me know and full believe that they know their plans for me which is to give me a future and a hope – and that hope only comes, I believe, through my trust in them.

At this junction I can choose whether to have hope or whether to be in despair. I choose hope.

Categories
ego Trust God

Prayers or Wishes?

A selection of pictures related me driving – perfect parallel park, Luton van, a couple of walks early in the morning just me and my dog, and then my writing retreat week

I went to a local opticians this past week and she did very through tests on my eyes and found that I might not have great peripheral vision. It is not confirmed as yet. I need some more tests. But for now I cannot drive which has come hard because I so love driving. But in the grand scheme of things it isn’t the end of the world.

What has amazed me is some people’s reactions. Most have been really kind and supportive but from one person I got that I needed to be positive and keep saying that there is nothing wrong with my eyes and get rid of all negative believes that my eyesight is bad. This is hard one because I have always been really shortsighted until 13 years ago when I had lens replacements and went from a minus 21 to minus 0.5 which was totally amazing. But my cornea are stretched and are the cornea of an almost blind person!

I sort of know that if I tell this that my eyes are still bad she will tell me that I didn’t do my statements correctly or didn’t believe enough. That somewhere along the way it will be my fault.

I remember my father-in-law saying that, after his major traffic accident where he suffered brain injuries, people would pray for him and, because he didn’t get better, they would say it was his fault for not believing, or that there was sin in his life. Not helpful at all.

Even though the person who told me to believe in the healing isn’t talking about prayer to me it feels like a similar idea, that there is that potential that if we wish it/believe it hard enough then it will all sort out. And then if it doesn’t sort out then it is our fault. It is all very ego-centric

I was very pleased to come across this phrase this morning in Richard Rohr’s daily meditations which seems very apt

….that the greatest enemy of ordinary daily goodness and joy is not imperfection, but the demand for some supposed perfection or order. 

https://cac.org/daily-meditations/the-mystery-of-the-cross/

Ok there is more going in the meditation but this stood out to me. When one does some of these positive statements or healing prayers or whatever one can get into the trap of calling down what we see as perfection. Note the “we see as perfection.” For me personally, to have perfect peace with whatever the outcome of these eye tests in a fortnight are is the greatest thing I could get. Yes of course I would love to be driving again, would love that freedom of just taking off and being on a beach to watch the sun come up, to pop to the Farmer’s market without having to get a lift, etc, etc. But if that doesn’t happen I want to be able to be so at peace I can feel it in my bones.

So I will ask God for my eyesight to be ok and to be able to drive again because that would be silly not to check in with the Great Creator of the Universe and not ask. And if I wasn’t a Christian I would probably do those positive statements and hope for the best.

But what I want deep down is for this daily goodness, this joy, this peace that passes all understanding, to be settled in my heart no matter what happens.

I’ll post an update in after 28th August to let you know how I get on.

Categories
peace solitude

Content With Solitude

This is where I was sat when these thought came to me. I’m going to try to work out how to get them onto photos but just wanted to share them today

Also want to link this to blog from Deepak – Choosing Happiness in all the Wrong Places because I think we are saying similar things with different words.

Solitude – a place where you can sit with the chattering monkey thoughts and let them slowly settle to the river bottom; where you can stay in that place of peace and wait to see what rises again to the surface

Diane Woodrow – June 2025

Being alone doesn’t mean that all that random “monkey chatter” isn’t there. You don’t feel instantly serene and at peace with yourself and the world. But, I believe, if you don’t sit alone for long enough and allow those monkey thoughts to settle, then wait and allow what God/The Universe wants you to consider at that moment, you will never reach peace with yourself.

So to me when I sat by the sea, just me and my dog, I let the thoughts that were bubbling in me about various things rise to the surface then fall to the depths. I didn’t try to pick any out to think of but waited to see what rose up. I then gained some interesting insights into myself and why things unfold as they do and also about a project that looked like it was failing but was going the wrong way. But I had to sit without an agenda, without people pleasing, and trusting to listen to my heart.

Solitude is a place where you can be fully in love and fully trusting in yourself and just being

Dollar Glen, Scotland – June 2025 – photographed by myself

Solitude is glorious when you can see and know yourself in all that you are – your strengths and weaknesses, hurts and joys, mistakes and triumphs – and know that you like and love yourself just as you are at this moment in time.

Solitude isn’t a place of loneliness. Loneliness can happen in a crowd, especially when you are trying to be someone you are not, when you are trying to please others, when you are afraid to reveal who you really are, when you don’t feel like you fit in.

Solitude is a place of calm, of peace, of being, of knowing who you fully are, of knowing what you fully want to do.

Solitude, I believe, is something you can take into a crowd and enjoy who are you with because you are being fully you with no agenda for yourself or for those you are with. Things don’t have to go a certain way because you are calm within yourself for all that time of being alone.

But this can only come about if you are willing to take time out from the noise and hassle of the life we lead, can let go of those monkey chattering thoughts and listen to your heart.

Solitude can be glimpsed through a porthole. Lady’s Tower, Elie, East Neuk, Fife. Photographed by myself June 2025

Categories
confident playing more strings

Strings To One’s Bow

From Openverse

This post came about from an interesting conversation in which when I said something like “as you get older you get more strings to your bow” the person hearing thought of the strings on the instrument not the bow. And interestingly when I did the search using “strings on a bow” I got lots of pictures of violins or guitars. But the bow is the thing you play the instrument with not those strings you run the bow across.

I wonder if we like it to be the instrument because that is unchanging whereas the bow can gain strings, can change how it plays, and also, if I remember from my long-ago violin playing days, the bow was the part that needed regularly waxing so it moved smoothly across the strings.

I do think it is true that as we get older we do gain strings to our bows, with experience, with learning, with exploring, and with healing. Confidence grows. We just know more stuff.

For instance I run writing groups for both adults and school children. I do them mainly with some basic notes but am continually pulling things from the depths of my brain, altering, changing, rehashing, being able to answer questions, etc. This isn’t because I am super intelligent but it is that I have been around a lot. I’ve read a lot. I’ve been to lots of other writing groups. I’ve listened to others. I’ve a love of learning. Things are just in my head. And I have gained confidence in myself that I can do this. They are the strings to my bow.

Interestingly I’ve been doing some emotional support work in a local school via an organisation using their tools but the whole time I was finding I was “playing a scratchy tune.” I wasn’t playing cleanly. It was not good. In the end I gave up on their tools and went back to having a rough plan and going with the flow – allowing my bow to flow smoothly over the strings.

I’m not saying I am better than the organisation but to play a tune that was harmonious for me and the lad I was working with I had to use my own bow, so to speak.

My husband has just gone for a new job and what he found at the interview as that as they asked him about certain things he was able to say “I’ve done that with X that I used to work with”. He has gain strings to his bow over the different jobs he’s had, the different things he’d been involved with, the different people he’s worked with. His bow has grown fuller.

Even now as I grapple with a new laptop [mine died on holiday. Thank goodness for ‘the cloud’ that stored all my writing] because of the experiences of setting up other laptops over the years I have skills and this time it didn’t take as long [apart from getting solitaire up but then maybe that is the gods of laptops telling me I don’t need that!!!]

So let us all enjoy our bows as they gain their strings and allow them to flow smoothly over the instruments that are placed in front of us.

my daughter and my son about 20 years ago at my mum’s enjoying a jamming session one Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately neither of them has continued playing an instrument
Categories
Flexible interesting

Be Flexible

https://dailyverses.net/2025/6/3

I know I’ve written about being flexible before but I love it when a Bible verse pops up in my inbox that is so relevant to my day.

Today looked like being a full day so I journaled how best to fit everything in, had my plan ready, and then the day changed shape. Firstly those who come to the writing groups I run steadily cancelled one by one so that now it looks like there might be just one person but she hasn’t got back to me just to confirm. But even if she does running a writing group for just one person is very different to running it for 5-6.

Then I drove up to school where I’m doing some emotional support work with a lad to get told that someone was in from SEN to observe him and after some discussion between myself and the deputy head we decided that it would not be beneficial if I took him out of class.

Change! Change! Change!

I know at one time I’d have been really angry about things and also not sure what to do, but today yes I did have a little “oh my what shall I do?” moment but was able to ANS [realign my autonomic nervous system], breath, and thank God for this space in my day. Not that at the moment I need great spaces because life seems pretty chilled at the moment – with even a holiday approaching on Friday.

Again at one time I would have panicked that I have all this free time and I should be filling it but now I trust to God/The Universe that they know what’s going on and that it is ok to just be rather than do.

And to also remember this from Matt Kelland

So now today I’ve done this post. Then I will do some more major decluttering of my study because I bought 3 wooden crates on Sunday and am having a revamp. It looks good but there seems to have been an explosion of paperwork from somewhere, which probably needs recycling! Either that or I’ll sit in the garden and read a book!