A collage of Greek roadside shrines www.amusingplanet.com, an Irish roadside shrine https://catholicgadfly.blogspot.com/2012/06/catholic-marian-roadside-shrines.html, and a memorial on roadside in North Wales www.dailypost.co.uk
I could have added more – the Dunblane school shooting of 1996, the UKs only school shooting thankfully, or the floral tributes for Princess Diana back in 1997, and the many tributes that are now found in the UK on roadsides, beaches, and other public places.
The first time I saw a roadside shrine was when I visited the South of Ireland in 1980. There were not things like that in mainland Britain at that time. The next time was when I was in Greece in 1987. That was quite scary because I had hitched a lift in a truck carrying potatoes across the mountains of Pelaponese. The truck was speeding along and the driver was pointing these small shrines out and telling me in broken English that this is where people had died and of how their families would come to pray leave flowers, light candles, leave trinkets and pray for their souls. Well I must say it got me praying that I would not join them.
When I first got to really know God in 1992 the small charismatic Christian group I was part of said these shrines were Catholic or Greek Orthodox superstitions and that one did not pray to ones deceased family or friends once they had died. Dead was dead so to speak. At the time I hadn’t really lost anyone I was close to so I just accepted their word for it. So even though I found these shrines beautiful, moving and fascinating I allowed myself to dismiss them as superstitious nonsense like the good newbie Christian I was!
Then came the school shooting in 1996 where people from across the country, myself included, were sending flowers to be laid outside the gates of the school. I don’t know why other people did it but I did it because my son was of a similar age and at a school whose building looked similar. It was my way of expressing my grief and solidarity.
Princess Diana’s death followed close of the heels of the school shooting and the streets of not just London or the place she died but across the country were littered with flowers. I did not get involved with that, probably because it did not have the same effect on me as the school shooting.
Now it is not uncommon to see wilting flowers on the side of the road or on a park bench. Or like the above picture which shows the boy’s football shirt plus flowers, photographs, etc. Especially when grief is fresh this is what people need to do. They need to find a place where they can show their grief.
My pondering is – why have things changed so much? It is like that stiff upper-lipped Britishness of holding everything in is morphing into a more open Mediterranean show of emotion. Death is no longer something that is hidden behind somber church services and quiet tears. There is no longer the embarrassment of showing emotion.
I feel too as if we are moving away church involvement in death and so we need these places to focus our grief. Now. for whatever reason, a funeral can be up to a month after the death of someone. In the case of a roadside trauma it can be months or even over a year until the inquest can come to a conclusion as to what happened. Until there can be closure.
When theses roadside expressions of loss and grief started to appear on roadsides I found it odd and wanted to look away. Though in both Ireland and Greece I enjoyed looking. Perhaps for me it was that here, in a place I knew, someone was saying “look someone I loved died here” and that frightened me of my own mortality. I don’t know. But now I say a prayer as I go past for the person who has died and all the family and friends they leave behind.
Perhaps also as we go for more natural burials and more cremations and there are less and less gravestones we need a focus not just for our grief but for the grief of our fellow human beings?
Last night I saw Dan Snow, The History Man, speak at a local theatre. One of the many things that he said that struck me (so be warned there could be many more blog posts to come) was that he knows people say, generally behind his back, that he is only doing what he does because of his family. He paused before saying “Yes I am.” He went on to say that because his parents both had a love of history, that his father was in television broadcasting, because they had money and could afford to go not just to historic places close to home but across the world, that yes that is why he is stood on this stage now. He is doing what he does because of where he comes from.
Aspirational Adventures 