Tag: Creator of the Universe

Categories
alert remember

One Battle After Another

My daughter now works at Everyman cinema and when I was visiting her recently we went to enjoy the decadence that is Everyman Cinema – comfy seats, free popcorn with one’s very expensive ticket, a cup of mint tea with real mint in it. And we watched One Battle After Another It is fun, cliqued, predictable in places, and gently shoot-em-up. Very escapist.

But this is what struck me. So when they go into hiding Bob is told codes and passwords that he must remember just in case. But he gets disillusioned, fed up, complacent, and becomes an alcoholic drug addict and forgets the codes and passwords. So when their old enemy resurfaces years later he can’t remember what to do.

It made me think about our Christian life. Along the way we do learn ways of keeping in touch with God, of casting our burdens, families, problems etc on to God. Then life gets easy and we get complacent. We often think it is how we do things and that we can pray harder, be better, work harder, do more, etc and then things will sort themselves out. We forget the “codes and passwords” that hold us there with God. We forget that there is something more out there than just us and it is “not my might nor power but by [my] Spirit says the Lord”[Zechariah 4:6]

Like Bob we fill ourselves with things that numb us rather than keep us alert. We miss what is going on around us, miss when the enemy swoops.

As the film unfurls and the enemy gets more intense so Bob connects with others who, even though they don’t know the codes know honour and friendship, and it is through this that slowly but surely he remembers the codes at the right time.

We all need people around us who are going to befriend us, and that we befriend, whether we can remember the “codes and passwords” back to God or not. Care and love for each other whether we say we are Christians or not is one of the key codes, I think.

I am grateful for this film for reminding me to keep myself awake and remembering all that God has done, is doing, and will do for me. Just a few days after watching that I’ve been hit by the enemy’s tsunami and could so easily have been sideswiped but I remembered that there is someone greater than I who created the whole universe who knows the beginning from the end, who knew this was coming and knows what the outcome is, who has promised to work to the good of all who love them. So as this latest tsunami tries to sweep away my foundations I shall remember the codes and passwords and will pray, will hand everything to the Creator of The Universe who loves me unconditionally and will hide in the shadow of their wings. [Psalm 57:1]

Merinda Nagel on Pintrest

Categories
freedom new

Trusting The Flow

Looking across Red Wharf Bay May 2025 Photographed by myself

What do I miss since no longer being able to drive? It is the above that I miss most of all. I miss being able to drive to where I want to go on my own when I want. Actually it is that “being able to do what I want when I want” that I am finding hardest.

I’ve always struggled with being boxed in and needing the space to do what I want when I want. That is probably why I didn’t settle in office type jobs but went for hospitality or youth work because, even if the hours were set, what went on was so random. There is something for me about being tied in that makes me panic.

But during my QEC sessions and spending time journaling I’ve learned to work these issues through. Even with the not-being-able-to-drive thing I’m working out my own freedom with it. But then something happened and I realised how easily I [and probably you] can fall back into those old pathways, those known ways of being even if they didn’t fit back then and don’t fit now.

We’ve got a new vicar at our church. He called a meeting last week where he set out his vision for the church. There were lots of opportunities to volunteer for things and at the meeting I was really super enthusiastic and was frustrated that there were no sign up sheets. But then when I was on the bus I was really really tired, like exhausted tired. Then when I got to the beach and was pottering along with my dog enjoying the sea and that freedom I felt like I didn’t want to do anything and was moving into being cross. Yes even though one of the vicar’s main points was “don’t feel like you have to do anything” I was still cross at feeling like I “had to” do these things I was good at.

But this is where things have changed, where all that healing has come to pass. Or as an old YWAM leader once said – I’m learning to walk the new green pathways.

Somewhere in Scotland. May 2022. Photographed by myself

What he meant by this is that whenever we do something we create a known way of going and we stick to that whether it is right or wrong, helpful to us or not. When we get into healing we start to see how wrong those paths are for us, how they are not beneficial to us but we can only make the new paths by walking them. Too often, even when we’ve had healing of any kind we think it hasn’t worked because we are still doing the same old same old. Still walking those same old paths. We need to start walking across a new grass filled field and make new paths. We need to walk new ways. We need to mark out new pathways that fit with who we really are rather than who we think we should be. And we can only do that by walking them.

That first me after the meeting was the old “look at me and like me” me but I’ve changed and am now more willing to say “yes I could do that but I need time to write, to read, to walk alone [even if that is more complicated and needs more thinking about – and thus more time] and also to bump into friends and other random people to chat with as I feel God leads me. I can now be honest with myself and say I must be careful not to let myself take on too much as I’ll feel frustrated by it.

For each of us our new pathways are different, which is what can make it hard to walk them. We get so used to following the herd, of doing what makes others happy, of fitting in so we don’t have to think, that we often just following along. But then of course we either get tired, get resentful, get sickness and illnesses, get angry, and also don’t fulfil are full potential, are full who our Creator truly made us to.

I know The Creator of the Universe loves me just as I am and I believe my role in life is to know that fully and to share that fully. But I am beginning to realise that I can’t do that by being busy, by getting tired and resentful, etc. So I need to walk my new pathways – those I can choose and those, like with the driving, that have been foisted upon me – and trust what is really out there for me

Renly enjoying a “new path” April 2023 Photographed by myself

Interesting coincidence. This was the reading from Henri Nouwen on the day I wrote this blog piece.

Discerning God’s Will
Small, seemingly insignificant events, ideas, and life circumstances can become occasions to discern God’s will and calling in your life. Both inner and outer events and circumstances can be read and interpreted as signposts leading to a deeper understanding of the way the Spirit of God is working in our daily lives…. We have the freedom and responsibility to look at our lives with the eyes of faith and a heart of trust, believing that God cares and is active in our lives.
https://henrinouwen.org/meditation/ 1st October 2025

Categories
ego Trust God

Prayers or Wishes?

A selection of pictures related me driving – perfect parallel park, Luton van, a couple of walks early in the morning just me and my dog, and then my writing retreat week

I went to a local opticians this past week and she did very through tests on my eyes and found that I might not have great peripheral vision. It is not confirmed as yet. I need some more tests. But for now I cannot drive which has come hard because I so love driving. But in the grand scheme of things it isn’t the end of the world.

What has amazed me is some people’s reactions. Most have been really kind and supportive but from one person I got that I needed to be positive and keep saying that there is nothing wrong with my eyes and get rid of all negative believes that my eyesight is bad. This is hard one because I have always been really shortsighted until 13 years ago when I had lens replacements and went from a minus 21 to minus 0.5 which was totally amazing. But my cornea are stretched and are the cornea of an almost blind person!

I sort of know that if I tell this that my eyes are still bad she will tell me that I didn’t do my statements correctly or didn’t believe enough. That somewhere along the way it will be my fault.

I remember my father-in-law saying that, after his major traffic accident where he suffered brain injuries, people would pray for him and, because he didn’t get better, they would say it was his fault for not believing, or that there was sin in his life. Not helpful at all.

Even though the person who told me to believe in the healing isn’t talking about prayer to me it feels like a similar idea, that there is that potential that if we wish it/believe it hard enough then it will all sort out. And then if it doesn’t sort out then it is our fault. It is all very ego-centric

I was very pleased to come across this phrase this morning in Richard Rohr’s daily meditations which seems very apt

….that the greatest enemy of ordinary daily goodness and joy is not imperfection, but the demand for some supposed perfection or order. 

https://cac.org/daily-meditations/the-mystery-of-the-cross/

Ok there is more going in the meditation but this stood out to me. When one does some of these positive statements or healing prayers or whatever one can get into the trap of calling down what we see as perfection. Note the “we see as perfection.” For me personally, to have perfect peace with whatever the outcome of these eye tests in a fortnight are is the greatest thing I could get. Yes of course I would love to be driving again, would love that freedom of just taking off and being on a beach to watch the sun come up, to pop to the Farmer’s market without having to get a lift, etc, etc. But if that doesn’t happen I want to be able to be so at peace I can feel it in my bones.

So I will ask God for my eyesight to be ok and to be able to drive again because that would be silly not to check in with the Great Creator of the Universe and not ask. And if I wasn’t a Christian I would probably do those positive statements and hope for the best.

But what I want deep down is for this daily goodness, this joy, this peace that passes all understanding, to be settled in my heart no matter what happens.

I’ll post an update in after 28th August to let you know how I get on.

Categories
fulfilment repentance

Woman At The Well

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/ancient-draw-well-arabian-village-uae-71733394.jpg

I’ve always related to the Woman at the well story in John chapter 4 because when I met Jesus I’d had a couple of husbands and the man I was living with wasn’t my husband. He wasn’t even the father of my child. And I met with God in this amazing powerfully tangible way that no amount of scepticism can ever take from me.

But the bit I struggled with was the “living water” thing. It was often preached that this living water would go stale if we didn’t keep giving it away and that, so long as we kept going to church, hearing sermons, doing stuff that needed doing in church and in mission, telling people about Jesus, etc then this living water was always going to be replaced. And that if we didn’t, well then the living water would go stale. It did appear that to keep this living water flowing there was a lot of stuff for us to do.

But I’ve just read Tim Keller’s book Encounters With Jesus and he thinks it isn’t quite like that. This living water is inner healing for us.

[Jesus] … is talking about deep soul satisfaction, about incredible satisfaction and contentment that doesn’t depend on what is happening outside of us

pp 26-7

The woman at the well wasn’t getting true inner satisfaction with her relationships. What made the change inside her was when she let God “quench her thirst,” let God fully fill her up in her inner most being, in that part of er heart, our hearts, that are longing for unconditional love, to be safe being ourselves, that place where total contentment comes from.

So doesn’t matter what our relationships are like, what are jobs are like, what our planet is like, etc etc, we feel this inner peace, this inner joy, this inner contentment. And we don’t need to do any of those things that church says to keep that inner healing, inner peace, that “living water”. It is a total free gift from God. In fact doing those things that some sermons tell us so that we keep that “living water”, so that we never thirst for deep contentment again, are actually us trying to sort out the outer situations when what Jesus promised is that inner deep place of our hearts; to be healed of the traumas and neglects of childhood, of other people, of misunderstanding something and so getting hurt by it, of a deep felt need for something. This is the living water, this place where we will never thirst or chase for it elsewhere.

I think the reason that the people of the town came rushing out to see Jesus is not just the words the woman said, but that they saw a change in the countenance of the woman. They saw something deep had change within her and now their husbands, sons, brothers, male relatives, were safe from her because she no longer needed a man, a relationship, to find her deep inner peace, her inner fulfilment.

Like many I do forget or am aware of that “living water” and might at times be looking to other things – relationship, a good writing session, being noticed and heard – to fill those spaces but really I need to stop. I need to remember where I was 34 years ago, remember the encounter I had with God, and allow the living water to touch that place within me again, to heal me again, to remind me again.

One definition of repentance is to turn 180 degrees and be facing the other way and whenever I’m feeling like I’m looking for something else to heal me, to give me fulfilment, to fill that hole, then I just need to turn around and stand in that living water again, that acceptance of Jesus just as I am. And remember I am loved unconditionally by the Creator of The Universe no matter what I do say or act.

Categories
faith simple

Why Do We Have To Make It Hard?

St Monan’s, East Neuk, Scotland. Photographed by myself June 2025

A little rant!

I’ve just read two blog posts by two people who are big in the Christian mover/shaker scene. I rate both of them which is why I get their posts but in both of them they talk about how following the Christian faith is hard work, and you know that bugs me.

I’ve been a Christian over thirty years now and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Ok sometimes I forget how amazing it all is and get grouchy about it but really it is amazing and it underpins so much of life in general.

For instance – we all know, whether Christian or not, that forgiving others and ourselves is beneficial to ourselves, often more so than it is to the others, who often don’t know we’re mad at them. We all know that to let go of things is so much easier, even if, whether Christian or not, we struggle sometimes to do that. We all know its right.

In fact most of us know, whether Christian or not, that it helps to believe in something/someone that is bigger and more encompassing than we are. Those who attend Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous or other organisations like that say that things change when they give their addictions to something/someone bigger than them whoever they identify that or call it. The main difference for me from my reading of the Bible is that I call my bigger being God and believe they love me unconditionally.

It is this unconditional love bit that for me makes being a Christian easy. I don’t accept the rules and regulations that religious streams try to say one should do, say, act like, believe. I just know that I am loved by something so much more amazing than me, some being that created the whole universe.

So if the Creator of the Universe loves me unconditionally then why should pottering along making mistakes, forgiving myself, getting hurt by others and forgiving them, doing my best to be kind, supportive, encouraging to others be hard? Why should the whole thing of trusting that all will be well and all will be well and all manner of things will be well, to quote Julian of Norwich, be such an issue?

I remember going to one gathering and the leader said that he was the leader of the church there and that Christians were a broken people and he was more broken than any, and thinking to myself “well I’m not going there.” I want to go somewhere that’s led by people who are confident that their God loves them unconditionally, that they are forgiven and so can forgive others, that they can be generous with themselves, their time, money, hearts, because they have more than enough, that they have no fear of lack. I don’t want to go somewhere where leaders find it hard work, where they struggle with their faith, where they are “broken”.

I fully believe I have been made whole by Jesus, can write my life story and all the crap that’s in it knowing I am forgiven and I am forgiving those I write about, and knowing that, through God, I can trust my heart, enjoy being with myself.

If God thinks I am amazing and worth loving unconditionally then who am I to question them????

my dog chilling after being carried in his new old dog’s backpack knowing he is safe and loved just for being him. Photographed by myself June 2025

Sometimes we all need to be more like my little dog who is accepting his limitations, allowing himself to be carried when need be, and relaxing into the safety of being loved by his two humans.

Categories
fruit glory

Who’s Fruit?

From https://dailyverses.net/2025/2/2

This verse jumped out at me this morning.

Who do we want to bear fruit for? I think often it is so we look good, so people will say “What at good person” or even better “what a good Christian” or even “I’d like to be a Christian because of the example that person lives.”

I think all those are admirable but to me this verse says we should be bearing fruit for God the Father’s glory so that God the Father can delight in us being God the Son [Jesus’s] followers.

So we are doing and being and “bearing fruit” [whatever that means] not for any egocentric reason but because we just delight in God.

I remember when my kids were little we would do craft projects or snuggle on the couch to read from the latest Horrible Histories magazine not because there was some great educational benefit but because we loved being together. Our “fruit” was in hanging out together being family. I do think too often now when either my adult children visit or we go to visit them we feel we should “do something” so we can say there was purpose [fruit] in traveling all that distance, when maybe we’ve actually missed the point.

I think too often with God we put on events, do church, have meetings, talk to people about God, because we think that is what “bearing fruit” is all about. But that isn’t bearing fruit for God’s glory or showing we are Jesus’s disciples. I think “fruit” isn’t something tangible, not something we can say X number of people attended this event, made this commitment, took Bibles, even got healed. I think the fruit being talked about here is that deep stuff where we learn to trust God more, even when things go wrong; when we can live in a place of deep joy and peace no matter what; when we can accept ourselves just as we which is what God does with us; when we can believe God, the Creator of the Universe, loves us unconditionally and we can love ourselves and others unconditionally.

I truly believe this “fruit” Jesus is talking about here doesn’t come with targets, attainments, no new converts but is a deeper love of self, others and of trust in God, the Creator of the Universe, loving us unconditionally. Then we are truly disciples of Jesus and would be willing to go anywhere, do anything, know our end goal but not have to put in boundaries to get there but be able to go with the flow.

I think “going with the flow” is another fruit of being a disciple of Jesus.

So bearing the fruit that is the glory of Father God, I think, involves sliding into a deeper place with them and no longer trying to achieve, attain and be noticed.

Categories
life The Jesus Way

I Am The Way, The Truth and The Life – Part Three

Small dog full of life in the snow. Photographed by myself January 2025

So yes as you would expect part three is looking at Jesus saying “… I am the Life”

I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full

John 10:10

I think this is another one that means different things to different people. What I see as having life to the full is not the same as others.

I’ve written a couple of pieces around thoughts of what doing life meant to me back in 2015 – here and here Just glancing back at them I would say my thoughts haven’t changed much, though I have because of the QEC work I’ve done, the clearing out of traumas rather than just regular counseling.

The Alpha booklet says Jesus came to deal with things that spoil our lives and deal with our guilt, and I would add that he also came so that we would know that The Creator of the Universe loves us unconditionally, which I think we can often only fully see when we have cleared out the detritus from our childhood.

So when I am feeling lonely I am not living the fullness of life. When I get angry about something someone said that hurts me then I am not living the fullness of life. When I am trying to people please because I want to be loved then I am not living the fullness of life. When I am doing things because I ought to or should do, whether that is a job, a hobby, a way of dressing, an acceptance of something, then I am not living the fullness of life.

I do think we can still be angry about somethings but then we need to check in with God to see if there is anything they want us to change, either with ourselves, with the other person, with the situation. I think we can still work and do hobbies and dress in a certain way so long as we are doing it because we get a feeling of contentment from doing it but not because we ought to. Even with loneliness we can still stop and ask God what it is that this feeling is saying to us.

Actually any feelings we get – whether those we label as positive or those we label as negative feeling – I think, we need to take them to God and ask what these are showing us about ourselves.

And as I wrote this last paragraph I realised that alwasys taking what we feel, think, say, back to the God who loves us Unconditionally then we start to walk in the truth.

Revelation – it is not Jesus is three different things – Way, Truth and Life – but that Jesus is all three of these rolled in together. Jesus is the WayTruthLife and if I can walk in going back to God to find out the Truth of my thoughts and actions then I can be fully alive and can then be walking in the way of God.

When I do this I realise that I am a writer and very often I think through my pen or the tips of my typing fingers, that truths become revealed as I write rather than beforehand. So for me that is my Way,Truth,Life. What is yours?

Categories
Believe present

God is with me ALL the time

Sunrise Christmas morning over my park December 2025 Photographed by myself

I was led in bed the other morning thinking about praying when a thought struck me. What if I really believed God was with me all the time? How would that change my thoughts?

It took me back to those thoughts around why organised religion likes the idea of Jesus being born in a stable away from the family so that one would have to go to him to worship him. But it is probably Jesus was born in a safe warm place with family around him. Yes the shepherds and wisemen went to him but for everyone else he was just there.

What if I believed that the Creator of the Universe was just here with me as promised?

The first thought is “I would behave ‘better'” whatever ‘better’ means.

But actually if I really believed that the Creator of the Universe was fully with me it would change my thoughts. How could I not like myself if God loves me? How could I think negative thoughts about myself when God wants to be with me? How could I regret the life I have if God is here with me?

That doesn’t mean my life is perfect, or for that matter has ever been perfect. I have made loads of mistakes, doing things I wish I hadn’t, had things done to me I wish hadn’t been done, but as and when those things cross my mind I repent and forgive – forgiving myself as much as others. Releasing myself and others from any hold that our pasts might have on us [and past can be in the last 10 minutes!!]

I am now working on getting my head round fully believing that God is with me all the time not in some place I have to go to; that I can talk with them all the time because they are here with me and not is some far off place.

I need to be aware of what I think and feel about myself then that good energy can go outwards and onward to others. Remembering always that we can only love others as we love ourselves, only forgive others as we forgive ourselves. And all this is possible because the Creator of the Universe is not just walking with us but is in bed with us, watching TV with us, eating with us, going to work with us, going for a walk with us, and even going to church with us. This not because they are some creepy voyeur but because they love us so much they cannot bear to be apart from us because we are AWESOME just as we are.

Categories
climate change unconditional love

Storms, Storms and More Storms

This is what has been going on in my house over this weekend as Wales get battered by Storm Darragh.

Compared to many places across the globe the UK gets off lightly with extremes of weather. Oh we get weather and don’t we Brits like to talk about it. Even if you have nothing to say to anyone as you pass in the street you can always say things like “nice day” “bit cloudy/windy/rainy/sunny” “bit cold/hot/wet/dry” “its come early for winter/spring/summer/autumn” Always a something and generally a disgruntled something.

Well for the first time I think we’ve had a red weather warning. Our local Victorian pier is breaking up with the battering it is getting. Trees are coming down. Roads are blocked. Electricity is down. Christmas markets are cancelled and we’ll all be late doing our Christmas shopping!!!

But it isn’t like some places even in America where twisters and floodings and fires are becoming a thing. I was amazed at the lack of news about the fire in Ventura, California, which happened during the US elections. I only knew about it because one of the houses destroyed belonged to friends. I wonder how many other environmental disasters there are that we never hear about?

Yes environmental disasters! Because that is what this extreme weather is – an environmental disaster brought on by climate change.

I would say this isn’t normal but I think it is going to become the new normal. But also it is to be expected.

6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are the beginning of birth pains.

9 “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Matthew 26:6-13

Ok so it doesn’t mention floods and uncontrolled fires and extremes of weather, etc, but that sort of thing does appear in poetic form in the Book of Revelations later in the Bible. Worth a read as you look at these global weather phenomenons.

I’ve been doing some pondering around being a Christian, Jesus, and the whole suffering thing – encouraged by a friend last night as we were driving home. She was saying about trusting God in the storm [we were driving back from a concert as Storm Darragh was approaching North Wales] but I was then saying how many Christian friends or friends of friends I’d known who’d died in car accidents, etc. They died. We suffered grief. God didn’t stop it from happening.

Interestingly in the above verses it doesn’t say God will stop it from happening. In fact it says these things MUST happen. Too often, especially the evangelical charismatic branch of Christianity, has said God will stop us suffering. But this isn’t what Jesus says to his followers just before he dies and before the authorities turn against his followers. He says that it is only the one who stands firm who will survive.

Now I don’t think that means that we won’t get hurt, battered, lose things and people important to us. I think it means that we must stand strong in the faith that the Creator of the Universe and the one who is allowing all this chaos because they knew why loves us all unconditionally and will give us the peace and joy that transcends all understanding.

So I am grateful that I have a lovely warm solid house to be sheltered in, that we have lots of food, that we live in a town and so don’t have to get the car out, but above and beyond all that I am grateful that The Creator of The Universe loves not just me but all my family, friends, acquaintances, and even people I don’t like and don’t know, unconditionally.

[Though of course my very human side also wishes that we could have a weekend where we didn’t have to worry about the weather and could just go for a nice long walk and lunch out!!! 🙂 ]

Categories
faith suffering

Hope Inside

Baby seals at Angel Bay, Conwy. Photographed by myself Oct 2024

The seals, whether with babies or alone, always make me smile. There is something hopeful about them. I’ve been told that their numbers started to increase when the wind turbine were put in the sea because this made it harder for big fishing trawlers and so the fish population could increase and so things like seals could increase too.

At our last Upper Room gathering we finished up, after many roundabout routes, looking at the verse

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you – 1 Peter 3:15

But what is our hope? Is it just that we believe we’ll go to heaven when we die? I don’t think that’s what was meant. To be something that people will ask us about our hope has to be visible. It has to be a hope that we have enough time, energy, money but it has to be more than that. I know lots of people who don’t have a faith in God that believe that, especially after they’ve done some inner healing.

As I write this I can feel myself struggling to know how to put the hope I feel inside. It makes me realise why believers need to gather together. When we were all sat around the table together we could encourage each other and remind each other what our hope is, what goes on in our lives that we lean on God for, what goes on that we know without it we couldn’t make it.

One of the Alcoholics Anonymous steps is to give things to a higher power. Most addicts say that once they can pass things to a higher power, whether they call that power God or not [and sometimes names are not important] they let go of trying to fix things their way. Their hope for their future was placed in the hands of a higher power.

Someone recently suggested that even if we are not addicted to something noticeable we are too often addicted to our own way of doing things. They were working through the twelve steps replacing the word “drink” with “think” and handing over their thinking to a higher power.

I believe that hope comes when we fully acknowledge ourselves, fault, failings and all, and hand them over to a higher power. As I’ve said before we must not pretend we haven’t suffered because suffering is what produces the hope inside.

So if I was asked I could, hopefully say, that the hope I have inside comes from knowing that I can hand everything over to a higher power, to the Creator of the Universe, who will help and guide me, heal me and help me become all I was meant to be, and loves me unconditionally even if I get lost along the way. And that I don’t need to go back to those old ways of survival but am, is it says in the Bible, “born again“, which as I’ve said before I don’t think is a one off experience.

My hope is that even if I mess up I’ve not severed communication with the Creator of the Universe, I don’t have to go back to my old ways, but can grab on and hand things over again and again and again, and move to that place of acceptance of myself as who I truly am.