rape – Aspirational Adventures

Purim

If you don’t know the story then read the whole book of Esther, an amazing woman who stood up to a mighty king and saved her people.

Taken from the Velveteen Rabbi, a female rabbi I’ve been following for years who gives a great insight into my tradition and where its roots are. New Work for Purim

Yesterday at church we talked about the Temptations of Jesus but also talked a lot about things we’d given up, or taken up, for Lent – that Christian tradition which remembers Jesus time in wilderness and leads us up to Easter and used to be a time of fasting but now we cheat and do thinks like just give up chocolate, or going on Facebook, or drinking alcohol, or swearing, or take up something that seems noble!

As a child I used to get really confused that Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness and was only out for a week or so before he was crucified.

But whilst Christians are thinking of fast, or side-tracking real fasting and giving up something, the Jewish community has the festival of Purim where there is wild partying and celebrating because God saved his people from destruction via an obedient and very brave young woman who was chosen by the Persian despot Xerxes for sex purposes. The Persians ruled over the known world with a huge empire that, like the Romans, treated anyone outside the elite like they were subhuman. Xerxes has got rid of his Queen because she didn’t do as he said and then got all the beautiful virgins [teenage girls] from across his kingdom, who were then prepared for one night with him. One night where he would rape them and if he liked what he got he might have them back but if not they were defiled and put in his harem for the rest of their lives! Esther was raped by him but apparently he liked what he got and so she was invited back. She was so brave to go before him because she could have been killed but she is clever as well as beautiful and manages, though very clever means, to save the Jewish people from destruction. [Read the story]

Lots of this sounds very familiar to what we are hearing in the news at the moment – powerful rich men who choose innocent young women, rape them and then discard them, and also don’t own up to their wicked deeds.

But what I wanted to share – before I went off on a rant – was that we need to look at what Rachel says in the top image; of stepping out, of realising these are the only days we have and we need to do right in them, of showing our true colours.

I wonder if, as Christians, it might be time to use Lent to stand up and be counted, to stand before kings, before leaders, to stand up for the oppressed, to really shout “your kingdom come, your will be done” and stop all this shimmy shamming and pretence of “aren’t I good to give up chocolate/learn a psalm every day/etc”.

My prayer for myself today from the above is “strengthen in me the deep desire to stand up for what is right”.

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Changing Attitudes

Last night we started watching Liar on Netflix and it made me realise how much women’s attitudes to sex on a date have changed – for the better.

Synopsis – A teacher goes on a date with a surgeon and accuses him of assault the next day.

When I was dating 35+ years ago I know me and my mates would half expect that we would have sex at the end of the night to “pay for the night out” so to speak. That didn’t mean we were compliant but just that we almost did not respect ourselves. I know that if many of my generation had woken up the following morning, like the Laura does, and believed we had not given consent but had been raped we would have just got on with our day. We would not have gone to the Police. Possibly even would not have told anyone. It was just what happened.

Even though the series looks as if it will unfold into something much deeper for me I am hooked by the way Laura stands up for herself. But also that her sister, Katy, at least in this first episode, is willing to support her. I know that even my most caring friends 35+ years ago would have just told me to get over it.

In fact I was assaulted by a boyfriend, and quite badly knocked about, and was encouraged by my boss, a Turkish hotel owner, to go to the Police about it. It did go to court but only because I had a lovely female Police officer who would not let me drop it. But the judge’s verdict was that it was my own fault for staying with this man. I’m not sure if things have changed that much there!

But for me it was seeing Laura, and I’ve seen too with my daughter and her friends, that many of them will now say ‘enough it enough and we expect to be treated with respect’.

So even if the many attitudes have not changed I was encouraged to see the protagonist in this series and also what I see from my daughter and her friends no longer being as me and most of my friends were.

Maybe it should not be the women who have to stand up for themselves but it is still a better way than my generation that just accepted having sex as part of a night out.