Tag: new

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freedom new

Trusting The Flow

Looking across Red Wharf Bay May 2025 Photographed by myself

What do I miss since no longer being able to drive? It is the above that I miss most of all. I miss being able to drive to where I want to go on my own when I want. Actually it is that “being able to do what I want when I want” that I am finding hardest.

I’ve always struggled with being boxed in and needing the space to do what I want when I want. That is probably why I didn’t settle in office type jobs but went for hospitality or youth work because, even if the hours were set, what went on was so random. There is something for me about being tied in that makes me panic.

But during my QEC sessions and spending time journaling I’ve learned to work these issues through. Even with the not-being-able-to-drive thing I’m working out my own freedom with it. But then something happened and I realised how easily I [and probably you] can fall back into those old pathways, those known ways of being even if they didn’t fit back then and don’t fit now.

We’ve got a new vicar at our church. He called a meeting last week where he set out his vision for the church. There were lots of opportunities to volunteer for things and at the meeting I was really super enthusiastic and was frustrated that there were no sign up sheets. But then when I was on the bus I was really really tired, like exhausted tired. Then when I got to the beach and was pottering along with my dog enjoying the sea and that freedom I felt like I didn’t want to do anything and was moving into being cross. Yes even though one of the vicar’s main points was “don’t feel like you have to do anything” I was still cross at feeling like I “had to” do these things I was good at.

But this is where things have changed, where all that healing has come to pass. Or as an old YWAM leader once said – I’m learning to walk the new green pathways.

Somewhere in Scotland. May 2022. Photographed by myself

What he meant by this is that whenever we do something we create a known way of going and we stick to that whether it is right or wrong, helpful to us or not. When we get into healing we start to see how wrong those paths are for us, how they are not beneficial to us but we can only make the new paths by walking them. Too often, even when we’ve had healing of any kind we think it hasn’t worked because we are still doing the same old same old. Still walking those same old paths. We need to start walking across a new grass filled field and make new paths. We need to walk new ways. We need to mark out new pathways that fit with who we really are rather than who we think we should be. And we can only do that by walking them.

That first me after the meeting was the old “look at me and like me” me but I’ve changed and am now more willing to say “yes I could do that but I need time to write, to read, to walk alone [even if that is more complicated and needs more thinking about – and thus more time] and also to bump into friends and other random people to chat with as I feel God leads me. I can now be honest with myself and say I must be careful not to let myself take on too much as I’ll feel frustrated by it.

For each of us our new pathways are different, which is what can make it hard to walk them. We get so used to following the herd, of doing what makes others happy, of fitting in so we don’t have to think, that we often just following along. But then of course we either get tired, get resentful, get sickness and illnesses, get angry, and also don’t fulfil are full potential, are full who our Creator truly made us to.

I know The Creator of the Universe loves me just as I am and I believe my role in life is to know that fully and to share that fully. But I am beginning to realise that I can’t do that by being busy, by getting tired and resentful, etc. So I need to walk my new pathways – those I can choose and those, like with the driving, that have been foisted upon me – and trust what is really out there for me

Renly enjoying a “new path” April 2023 Photographed by myself

Interesting coincidence. This was the reading from Henri Nouwen on the day I wrote this blog piece.

Discerning God’s Will
Small, seemingly insignificant events, ideas, and life circumstances can become occasions to discern God’s will and calling in your life. Both inner and outer events and circumstances can be read and interpreted as signposts leading to a deeper understanding of the way the Spirit of God is working in our daily lives…. We have the freedom and responsibility to look at our lives with the eyes of faith and a heart of trust, believing that God cares and is active in our lives.
https://henrinouwen.org/meditation/ 1st October 2025

Categories
Bible new

Everything Is New In Christ

Cornwall early morning August 2022 – photographed by myself stylized by Google

The liturgy for yesterday morning was 2 Corinthians 5:14-17 [the new creation passage] with Dave Bilbrough’s I am a new creation and the sermon with the caterpillar to butterfly analogy all thrown into Sunday morning.

But I got to chewing this over. Do we really emerge from caterpillar to chrysalis to butterfly and that’s it? What happens to those who back slide, loose faith, etc etc? Do they just “die” and that’s it? And what about those people who say they are Christians but don’t quite look like new creations. I know the me of 30 years ago isn’t the me of now but I didn’t change instantly. I am very much a work in progress.

So anyway we got to chewing over this verse – which I think we all should be doing rather than just accepting the interpretation of the person at the front or some book or blog we read.

The NRSV version that our church uses says

From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once knew Christ from a human point of view., we know him no longer in that way. So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!

Not “you are a new creation” but “there is a new creation”. We no longer look from a human point of view but from the point of view of Christ. And Christ Jesus looks at us with no condemnation, no fear, no anxiety. He doesn’t look at us as if we are an issue, a problem that needs solving or sorting. He looks at us with unconditional love.

So this go me thinking – especially as we approach election time – as how do I look at the political situation in my town, my country, my world? At the education system, the health system, the emergency services, the welfare state, etc, etc, etc? The ecology system, global warming, pollution, etc?

I have to say that more and more I am learning to look at my fellow humans as people that I need to learn to love unconditionally and not problems that need solving or people I need to judge – however kindly that might seem at times.

Talking of people – in the park yesterday someone showed me how looking at someone in Christ was. Now I don’t know where this fellow dog walker is with God but we all walked passed this person sat on the bench drinking a can of beer at 8am. Some of us nodded but some walked on without noticing him. This fellow dog walker stopped chatted to him, noticed he had a swollen arm and suggest ways he could help himself. When I said something about getting this drinker to hospital the dog-walker said how this man had to choose for himself. He made me see this other man as a human being with choices he could make and not an issue that needed sorting.

Henri Nouwen’s says

Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken. But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering.

What we desire most is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick cure for it. As busy, active, relevant [people], we want to earn our bread by making a real contribution. This means first and foremost doing something to show that our presence makes a difference.

And so we ignore our greatest gift, which is our ability to enter into solidarity with those who suffer. . . .

Those who can sit with their fellow man, not knowing what to say but knowing that they should be there, can bring new life into a dying heart. Those who are not afraid to hold a hand in gratitude, to shed tears of grief, and to let a sigh of distress arise straight from the heart can break through paralyzing boundaries and witness the birth of a new fellowship, the fellowship of the broken.

Henri Nouwen’s meditations

Note the highlighted in bold part!

But finding a quick cure is not “being in Christ” but is being in self. So to be “in Christ” we all need to be seeing our fellow man and our world through the eyes of new creation. Nothing changes but the way we look at things.

For instance have you ever been somewhere and before you’ve gone you’ve thought “this is going to be hard work and I know I’m not going to like it” and guess what? Yup it is hard work and you didn’t enjoy it. But what happens if you say “I do find these situation hard but I want to go and I want to enjoy it and I want to flourish and see others flourish”. Guess what? You go and you have a good time and something good comes from it. Etc, etc.

When we look through the eyes of Christ, the eyes of God, which is what I think “in Christ” means – looking through Christ/God’s eyes and heart, then we see the whole world and everything in it with unconditional love. That doesn’t mean it is perfect. That doesn’t mean we should just let it be. But it means we can look with love and compassion not at a problem needing fixing.

Like I say I am getting better at doing this with people but with the bigger things like climate change, people trafficking, our crazy political leaders – national and international, our health care, education, welfare, etc I am still working on.

I am a work in progress but my heart is to learn to burrow deeper and deeper into Christ so I can see with their eyes that “the old has passed away” and be able to exclaim “see everything has become new!”

Categories
Born again Spirit of God

Born Again!

Newborough Beach, Anglesey July 1st 2023 Photographed by myself

There is no better place than a windswept deserted beach to contemplate a theological conversation that I had with a friend a few days earlier.

We were tossing around the idea from John 3 where Jesus tells Nicodemus he must be “born again” if he wants to see the kingdom of heaven. This has become a bit of a “thing” in evangelical circles about having to be “born again” to be a “real Christian”. It has become another way of judging who is really in and who isn’t.

I do remember at my wedding a gate-crasher [longer story there] asking my father-in-law who was a devout Christian and who had encouraged many people to know and follow Jesus, if he was born again. My father-in-law was flustered at this question and because he hesitated got a short sermon from said gate-crasher about the importance of being “born again”.

The beach gets “born again” twice a day. The beach I walked on yesterday will not be the same as the beach today. I am always amazed with my local beach, that I walk on regularly, how often the gullies in it change, the stones gets shifted about, the flotsam and jetsam change regular. Born again beach!

“So as Ordinary Pilgrim, Fiona Koefoed-Jesperson, says in her latest Substack post, we should spend a lot of our time asking questions like “What if this bible story can be interpreted differently?” So running with the conversation earlier in the week and the beach I got to thinking about wondering what God wanted me to see in this story.

Perhaps it isn’t a one-off-prayer-event but a daily thing. Perhaps I need to let go of my earthly birth, the things that tie me to this land, the ways of and/or issues from my parents, the things I’ve picked up – good and bad, things I’ve accepted from teachers, preachers and friends. Maybe I need to put all earthly things away and not rely on them. Maybe every moment of every day I need to be “born again” in the Spirit.

Nicodemus asked “How can someone be born when they are old?” Or maybe that is “how can I let go of my habits and hurts and feelings and ways of being now I’m an adult who leads and teaches others?” As we get older we get more and more set in our ways of doing and being. More afraid of looking like we don’t really know. We believe we have to know what is right and what is wrong.

I am loving working at the after-school club/nursery. Not just because of what I learn from the children in my care but what I learn from the young adults I am working with. The majority of the staff are younger than my children but I go with an open heart wondering what I can learn each time I go in. One could say that I am “born again” in my way of working in childcare each day.

But I know too that the only way I can have this attitude is if I let go of some of those issues and attitudes of my own. I can only go in and be told by an 18 year old what to do if I am walking in the Spirit of God and have been healed of hurts and issues of needing to be in charge because I’m older.

John 3 also says that one can only see the Kingdom of God if one is born of the Spirit. I am sure lots of people on the beach yesterday didn’t see the Kingdom of God but I did -whether it was in the pounding waves, the moody clouds over the mountains or the expression of my dog when he had to paddle through a pool on the beach that came up to his belly. But I also know there are days when I don’t see the Kingdom of God when I’m walking because I am walking in my human self. I’m walking in the flesh.

So I have come to believe that this story isn’t something we should base a doctrine of in/out on but should be something we incorporate into our daily lives moment by moment because we do fluctuate between walking the Spirit and walking the flesh.

But the amazing thing about God is that they don’t see us as either in or out but as fallible humans who sometimes get it and sometimes don’t.

I don’t think Jesus was talking in a teachery “you must” voice when he said this to Nicodemus and whoever else was there. But he was saying “look I know you’ll forgot so why not as you notice you’re walking in your humanness remember that you are actually Spirit people [and I think that applies to all people whether those who admit to being Christian and those who don’t] and can be reborn daily. In fact you can be reborn moment by moment as and when you need.

My dog showing how exciting it is reaching soft sand. He does this every time and during walks too. Life is just a wonderful born-again moment again and again and again for him.