Tag: disciples

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fruit glory

Who’s Fruit?

From https://dailyverses.net/2025/2/2

This verse jumped out at me this morning.

Who do we want to bear fruit for? I think often it is so we look good, so people will say “What at good person” or even better “what a good Christian” or even “I’d like to be a Christian because of the example that person lives.”

I think all those are admirable but to me this verse says we should be bearing fruit for God the Father’s glory so that God the Father can delight in us being God the Son [Jesus’s] followers.

So we are doing and being and “bearing fruit” [whatever that means] not for any egocentric reason but because we just delight in God.

I remember when my kids were little we would do craft projects or snuggle on the couch to read from the latest Horrible Histories magazine not because there was some great educational benefit but because we loved being together. Our “fruit” was in hanging out together being family. I do think too often now when either my adult children visit or we go to visit them we feel we should “do something” so we can say there was purpose [fruit] in traveling all that distance, when maybe we’ve actually missed the point.

I think too often with God we put on events, do church, have meetings, talk to people about God, because we think that is what “bearing fruit” is all about. But that isn’t bearing fruit for God’s glory or showing we are Jesus’s disciples. I think “fruit” isn’t something tangible, not something we can say X number of people attended this event, made this commitment, took Bibles, even got healed. I think the fruit being talked about here is that deep stuff where we learn to trust God more, even when things go wrong; when we can live in a place of deep joy and peace no matter what; when we can accept ourselves just as we which is what God does with us; when we can believe God, the Creator of the Universe, loves us unconditionally and we can love ourselves and others unconditionally.

I truly believe this “fruit” Jesus is talking about here doesn’t come with targets, attainments, no new converts but is a deeper love of self, others and of trust in God, the Creator of the Universe, loving us unconditionally. Then we are truly disciples of Jesus and would be willing to go anywhere, do anything, know our end goal but not have to put in boundaries to get there but be able to go with the flow.

I think “going with the flow” is another fruit of being a disciple of Jesus.

So bearing the fruit that is the glory of Father God, I think, involves sliding into a deeper place with them and no longer trying to achieve, attain and be noticed.

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Holy Week maundy thursday

Maundy Thursday

I don’t believe that Jesus’ “Last Supper”, that final Passover meal where he reveals everything was like DaVinci’s painting.

Leonard Da Vinci’s Last Supper painting – Wikiart

I think it was a much more chaotic affair with families and friends and children and noise. The nearest I could get from my photos was when they did the conga at my son’s wedding back in December 2021. Some people loved it. Others really did not. And I think the goings on at that meal would have been similar. Some would have loved it and some would have not. Maybe they wanted to hear Jesus and someone was chatting. Maybe there were kids charging about as kids can be known to do. Perhaps that was why John was leaning on Jesus chest. Not as a sign of affection but so he could hear properly!!!

I am a bit of a planner, especially when it comes to an occasion. My son and his wife were planning their wedding for nearly a year, and much of that was so they could get the venue they wanted. How many of us on a lovely Sunday lunchtime struggle to find a pub or restaurant that is free because there are only limited spaces and other people have booked in advance?

For me one of the amazing things on this Passover day is that it is only on the actual day that the disciples say “Where do you want us to prepare the Passover meal?”.

Now we know Jerusalem is packed full of people because of the crowds who greeted Jesus on Sunday and then those who shout “Crucify him” later on. This is a big celebration where families come to be together. I’m wondering if the disciples’ families had come to join them too? It would be wrong almost to celebrate this huge occasion in the Jewish calendar away from your loved ones, I think. Also would Jesus have done this big reveal to just the clique of 12 or would he have wanted to include all those people who were not in the chosen 12 but had been following and supporting him for the years of his ministry? So we’re possibly looking for a venue and food for between 13-100 people. But nothing has yet been arranged.

Now as a planner, the one who says to my husband on a Saturday afternoon that if we are thinking of having Sunday lunch out we should book somewhere on said Saturday afternoon, would have struggled not having a place to go. But had everyone got to that point, remembering things like the feeding of the 5000, etc, where they trusted Jesus that he would come through with something.

Perhaps they had learned from the tale of Mary and Martha where Martha is told she is worrying too much about other things, about preparing, when being with Jesus and listening with him is the most important. So they believed by now that Jesus would come through. Trust! Belief!

We don’t know who the two disciples were that finally asked what the plan was for that evening. Though in Luke it says it was Peter and John [Luke 22:7-13]. But when Jesus tell them to “follow a man carrying a water jar” [Mark 14:13] they don’t say “what???” as many of us might do. They trusted and obeyed.

But it is not just his disciples/followers who trust but that of the man who owns the room where they have the Passover meal. We are not told who he is or how he fits into everything [plot hole!!] but whoever he was he had kept his room free for whatever reason when there must have been people clamoring for it. He could also get hold of and prepare enough food for the 13-100 of them that came.

For my son’s wedding we had to give our menu choices about two weeks previous so the hotel could get everything in and prepare it. We were about 35-40 people in total for the main do. And even for the meal with just family before the wedding [about a dozen of us] we still had to have our menu choices in a couple of days early. But on the day Jesus says “yup this is the time and this is where it will be” and everything comes together in time.

I did first think of how long the lamb would take to cook but have you ever made flat breads and salads of bitter herbs? These things are really time consuming – especially if it was for so many people. But it was done and done well. Well enough that Jesus had time to explain what was going to happen next.

For me my “lesson learned” is to not expect to know in advance. The more I’ve gone through healing I’ve realised that having to tightly ordered plan for everything is a control thing that is to do with anxieties from past traumas and so I am learning to let it go, learning to trust the process, learning that if it doesn’t happen then the world won’t end.

I wonder if Jesus’ disciples had reached that point of not having to control things [apart from Judas], of not having to have all their ducks in a row, and had got to a point of believing that Jesus would make things happen as they were meant to happen? And if they didn’t happen then that was ok.

I can only hope and pray that I can move more towards that place so that worries are no longer there. Not that I have to give them to Jesus but that they are just no longer there because I live in a place of knowing that no matter what Jesus has it covered – like those disciples appear to have got to with the Passover meal.

Categories
faith Jesus

Jesus Walks On Water

Storm hits the beach – Dec 2021 – photographed by myself

Today the Bible reading in many churches is Matthew 14: 22-33 where Jesus walks on the water. This post is inspired by Lily Lewin’s Freerange Friday post on Godspacelight.com called Walking On Water

Lily’s Freerange Friday posts more often than not encourage imagining oneself there. So whilst I was out walking the dog today I thought about how I would have felt if I was one of Jesus’ disciples on that boat.

Remember not all of them were seamen. We always think of the fishermen and the “go and be fishers of men” line but we do forget that two thirds of the core group were not fishermen.

Now it is as standing joke in my family that I don’t like being too close to the water. These are just two of the many tales I could share! When I was 17 my first proper boyfriend took me for a romantic punt on the River Avon. We did the whole dressing up, had the picnic, we even got the tranquil sunny weather. I was in the boat for less than 5 minutes and I was screaming “take me back. I hate this“. End of romantic day out! One holiday my husband really wanted to go to see the puffins off the Northumbria coast. Out and back and round was a total of an hour on the boat. He’d check it was dog friendly so it was no excuse. Well I was terrified and I’m sure the man driving the boat deliberately hit the waves so we bounced more than we had to. I do have to say that it was worth while though. Puffins are awesome! But I was nearly crying and holding anyone who was close enough the whole way out and back.

So there I am one of Jesus’ disciples. We’ve had a busy day of healing and feeding and crowd control and just need a break. Jesus tells us all to get on the boat. Now I know weather if not the water and can see clouds gathering. So I suggest to Jesus that I’ll just stay behind with him. He’s already said he’s going to pray. I say that I’ll leave him be, explain that like him I need some time out. I need to introvert for a bit. I don’t think it would be good for my mental health to be on a boat with the others. It won’t help me refocus, get grounded. Also the place needs a bit of a tidy up and I’m more than happy to do that. But no Jesus insists and well … he is the rabbi and I am honoured to have been chosen by him so I reluctantly agree.

Well we all know what happens next. The sea starts to swell. The boat starts to rock. It is scary for the sailors, the fishermen. Imagine what it is like for those of us who don’t sail and are terrified of being “too close to the water”. I know I would be so cross this Jesus. This was his idea. He didn’t even come and here I am terrified. Even on that little boat to see the puffins I was sure I was going to die. So I’m imaging being on a smallish fishing boat in the big lake, big enough to be called a sea. And Jesus sent me there.

Along he comes. The storm calms. Peter does his bit of walking on the water. And so all is fine and dandy? Not for me. I’m cross with Jesus for showing up after I’m scared and have made a bit of a fool of myself. Also I don’t get out the boat because I know if I realised I could walk on water I would have just kept on walking back to the shore and not looked back.

This got me thinking – how often have any of us felt like God/Jesus has sent us somewhere and we don’t think they are coming with us. We cannot see or feel a physical presence. How do we feel? Also, and this maybe just me, do we do something stupid because we feel scared and alone and then Jesus comes to us after we’ve done the stupid thing? Are there times when we’ve felt like we’ve stepped out and even Jesus isn’t watching our backs/taking care of the storm around us? Have we ever felt like just getting out and walking away even when Jesus turns up?

I do wonder if too often we’ve allowed this story to be filled with passive characters and not allowed the disciples to be three dimensional, have not allowed them to be fully human. I wonder too if we’ve not let ourselves fully feel how we would have been in this situation. Ok so we know the end of that part of the story – the resurrection, God’s omnipresence, the infilling of the Holy Spirit – so we can react differently. But too often we don’t know the end of our stories or even what is happening in the next part.

I think it is ok to be scared, to be angry with God, to want to walk out and not come back. All those are real emotions. The brave thing is to stay; to stay with God, to forgive Jesus, to learn and grow in faith.

The question isn’t would we have stayed in the boat like the majority of the disciples or got out like Peter, I think the question is would we have obeyed Jesus and got in the boat in the first place even if we were terrified of boats and could see a storm coming?