Month: March 2024

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Easter Easter sunday

Easter Sunday

Would you have got up at dawn on Easter Sunday to anoint a body that had been dead for 3 days?

I’ve only ever seen one dead body and that was of my sister who had been dead only two days and had something done to her that made her look like she was sleeping. I know there are some traditions where burial is an open coffin but again the body had been preserved and made to look nice. This was Palestine in spring. I’m presuming the women knew Joseph of Arimathea had taken Jesus’ body and laid it in the tomb was because they did know where to go.

I still think they were really brave to be willing to go to deal with that level of decay, to speak with Joseph of Arimathea- not just a man but who was probably above their station. Jesus is continuing his ministry, even in death, of breaking down gender, cultural and class barriers.

From https://cbnisrael.org/2021/02/02/biblical-israel-first-century-tombs-and-burial/ Read the whole article. It is really insightful

Now as we know from an article I wrote a while back, I love a good sunrise. But I like that because it is my time out, my time to connect with the world, my time alone. Would I have wanted to visit the tomb of my friend who I had seen murdered on a cross for all to witness knowing there would be guards around? But also I think there would be other people there too. I don’t think the women who went to Jesus’ tomb were the only people to go to their loved ones to either anoint their bodies or just be visit their grave.

I do think we often think it was just the women, however many of them it was, who were there. Like no one else would have died over that period. Like no one else would have had to be buried quickly because of the Passovers.

We build up this serene picture of the Marys and maybe a couple of other women, going to this garden type place, as the sun rose and there being no one else about.

I think Mary didn’t recognise Jesus because she wasn’t looking at him because he was one of many others there. She was not surprised or perturbed that there was a gardener in this graveyard. I do think she only spoke to him because he was walking alone. I don’t think she even looked him in the face. It was him speaking her name that made her look up at him and really see who it was.

How often do we walk around and not really see? We don’t see the pain, the love, the fear, the masks, etc on people because we have our heads down dealing with our own sh*t, our own losses and grievances, wanting our own questions answered – which is where Mary was when she asked this man if he knew were Jesus was.

The other day I bumped into an older lady I hadn’t seen in ages and as we were chatting. I don’t know how it came about but said something along the lines of how her eyes are dry where she is crying often. [She lost her husband 4-5 years ago and her daughter 2-3 years ago] and I just made some joke about how when I laugh I cough. I was thinking of something else, wanting to get to the park in the hope of bumping into a friend, and had just stopped to make polite conversation. I was not really looking at her. I was not really listening to her. I wonder how often I do that and God doesn’t highlight it for me?

We all are busy. We all are caught up in the moment. I think we are often too frightened to be vulnerable ourselves so we hide behind our control.

To me this whole scene around Jesus’ tomb talks about going where we feel called no matter who else is about, not being afraid to ask the questions even if we don’t know who we are really asking them of, but then being willing the whole time to keep our heads up, our eyes open, be really present in that moment and who knows what or who we might really see.

In churches across the country today the person at the front will say “He is risen” with the congregational response of “He is risen indeed” but I have started doing my best to say that every morning. Jesus did rise on Easter Sunday but he is now fully risen all the time which means for me to really see him and all his amazingness I need to be continually in the moment of knowing “He is risen indeed” and being able to be vulnerable, to not need to control the situations but to just see what happens.

Taken at Easter 2022 on my local beach and in my local park. Abergele, Conwy. Photographed by myself

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Holy Week Saturday

Easter Saturday

Easter Saturday is the day in churches where the altar is stripped, where the church is laid bare, where things wait. But I believe during that space between crucifixion and resurrection Jesus was really busy. As Henri Nouwen says in a recent mediations

I don’t think you’ll ever be able to penetrate the mystery of God’s revelation in Jesus until it strikes you that the major part of Jesus’ life was hidden and that even the “public” years remained invisible as far as most people were concerned. Whereas the way of the world is to insist on publicity, celebrity, popularity, and getting maximum exposure, God prefers to work in secret. You must let that mystery of God’s secrecy, God’s anonymity, sink deeply into your consciousness because, otherwise, you’re continually looking at it from the wrong point of view. In God’s sight the things that really matter seldom take place in public. . . . Maybe, while we focus our whole attention on the VIPs and their movements, on peace conferences and protest demonstrations, it’s the totally unknown people, praying and working in silence, who make God save us yet again from destruction.https://henrinouwen.org/meditation/ 26th March 2024

One of those “majorly hidden” parts was during those three days.

As a child I found the whole thing that Jesus says he’ll be in the tomb for three days and three nights but that the church calendar had him only dead for two nights and a half day on Friday, a full day on Saturday and then he was up really early on Sunday. That is not three days and nights at all.

Apparently as the church got more organised it decided to have Jesus crucified on a Friday and risen on a Sunday to stop people being idle for too long.

Until the 4th century, Jesus’ Last Supper, his death, and his Resurrection were observed in one single commemoration on the evening before Easter. Since then, those three events have been observed separately—Easter, as the commemoration of Jesus’ Resurrection, being considered the pivotal event.

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Good-Friday

I heard one time that when Jesus died it was a time when there was more than one Passover at the same time. So the regular Passover to celebrate the exodus for Egypt but also the Jubilee Passover when slaves were set free, land was allowed to lie fallow, debts were cancelled, etc. – which seems about right with what Jesus was saying he was all about. As well as a regular Shabbat.

So if we move Jesus death forward by a day – at the start of the Jubilee Passover – then get the three nights before he rose again. But we also get the Jewish peoples thinking about not just being freed from slavery but the whole redemption thing that goes on with Jubilee. As well as the whole resting and trusting God to sort things – which can be easy to say when we’re in a good place but remember these people were oppressed.

So over what is now known as Easter Saturday which is a bit of a down day it was the time period – of probably 3 days and nights – when Jesus was battling with various things that stop us trusting and believing in God – slaves to our own ways of thinking and being, to our own issues and ways of dealing with life, caught up in our own debts and over work of ourselves and our land.

Whether Jesus was battling a real life devil and gaining those keys of hell from that devil we will never know, but there is enough “sh*t” in all of us that needs battling with to set us fully free that Jesus would have his work cut out there.

So instead of using this is an “oh my what do I do with it day” I’m going to do some journaling and free writing around what things I need to battle with in my life and hand over the Jesus. Remembering all the time that he has already won the battle but he won it in secret.

And it is that secret which is the mystery.

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good friday Holy Week

Good Friday

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

In the gospel of Matthew [Matt 27:46] Jesus is quoted as saying Psalm 22 “My God, my God, why did you forsaken me?” which has allowed for many debates, books, and sermons about what was really going on that this moment of Jesus’ crucifixion and why Jesus said those words and why he felt/was abandoned by God.

But what if he didn’t actually say those words! Have a conversation with someone and then an hour later both of you sit down and write down what was said. I bet both accounts are different.

Here’s a thing – when one writes historical fiction the writer only has so much to go on and so will, using the information they have from many sources, will put words into the historical character’s mouths. These are real people who did say real things but maybe not as is written in the books.

But what if that is the same with Jesus? Jesus, I believe, is a real historical person who really did stuff, who really died and really did rise again. But I’m not 100% sure he said what he is quoted as saying.

Each of the gospel writers has an audience they are writing for so each pulls in from difference sources the message they want to convey; the same as all writers do. Also every thing about Jesus came from memory because I don’t think anyone understood really who he really really was until after his resurrection.

To go against this feeling of God forsaking him on the cross Henri Nouwen says

Jesus suffered and died for our sake. He suffered and died, not in despair, not as the rejected one, but as the Beloved Child of God. From the moment he heard the voice that said, “You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests,” he lived his life and suffered his pain under the Blessing of the Father. He knew that even when everyone would run away from him, his Father would never leave him alone.

Henri Nouwen DAILY MEDITATION | MARCH 20, 2024

I think instead of saying “this is what Jesus really said” we need to say “this is what the gospel of Matthew quotes Jesus as saying” and we then wonder what Matthew’s reasoning behind that was. Did Matthew feel that way when Jesus was crucified?

Nouwen is saying, and does in many of his meditations, that once one knows one is a beloved child of God, loved unconditionally, then one knows that even when one screws up God doesn’t leave. Read Job. He knows that no matter what God is God doing God stuff that Job will never understand.

Maybe Matthew misquoted or had an agenda in his gospel writing that we do not know today. Don’t you wish you could talk to the gospel writers, all of them even the ones the early church didn’t put in the Bible, and ask them why they wrote what they wrote and what it meant to them?

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Holy Week maundy thursday

Maundy Thursday

I don’t believe that Jesus’ “Last Supper”, that final Passover meal where he reveals everything was like DaVinci’s painting.

Leonard Da Vinci’s Last Supper painting – Wikiart

I think it was a much more chaotic affair with families and friends and children and noise. The nearest I could get from my photos was when they did the conga at my son’s wedding back in December 2021. Some people loved it. Others really did not. And I think the goings on at that meal would have been similar. Some would have loved it and some would have not. Maybe they wanted to hear Jesus and someone was chatting. Maybe there were kids charging about as kids can be known to do. Perhaps that was why John was leaning on Jesus chest. Not as a sign of affection but so he could hear properly!!!

I am a bit of a planner, especially when it comes to an occasion. My son and his wife were planning their wedding for nearly a year, and much of that was so they could get the venue they wanted. How many of us on a lovely Sunday lunchtime struggle to find a pub or restaurant that is free because there are only limited spaces and other people have booked in advance?

For me one of the amazing things on this Passover day is that it is only on the actual day that the disciples say “Where do you want us to prepare the Passover meal?”.

Now we know Jerusalem is packed full of people because of the crowds who greeted Jesus on Sunday and then those who shout “Crucify him” later on. This is a big celebration where families come to be together. I’m wondering if the disciples’ families had come to join them too? It would be wrong almost to celebrate this huge occasion in the Jewish calendar away from your loved ones, I think. Also would Jesus have done this big reveal to just the clique of 12 or would he have wanted to include all those people who were not in the chosen 12 but had been following and supporting him for the years of his ministry? So we’re possibly looking for a venue and food for between 13-100 people. But nothing has yet been arranged.

Now as a planner, the one who says to my husband on a Saturday afternoon that if we are thinking of having Sunday lunch out we should book somewhere on said Saturday afternoon, would have struggled not having a place to go. But had everyone got to that point, remembering things like the feeding of the 5000, etc, where they trusted Jesus that he would come through with something.

Perhaps they had learned from the tale of Mary and Martha where Martha is told she is worrying too much about other things, about preparing, when being with Jesus and listening with him is the most important. So they believed by now that Jesus would come through. Trust! Belief!

We don’t know who the two disciples were that finally asked what the plan was for that evening. Though in Luke it says it was Peter and John [Luke 22:7-13]. But when Jesus tell them to “follow a man carrying a water jar” [Mark 14:13] they don’t say “what???” as many of us might do. They trusted and obeyed.

But it is not just his disciples/followers who trust but that of the man who owns the room where they have the Passover meal. We are not told who he is or how he fits into everything [plot hole!!] but whoever he was he had kept his room free for whatever reason when there must have been people clamoring for it. He could also get hold of and prepare enough food for the 13-100 of them that came.

For my son’s wedding we had to give our menu choices about two weeks previous so the hotel could get everything in and prepare it. We were about 35-40 people in total for the main do. And even for the meal with just family before the wedding [about a dozen of us] we still had to have our menu choices in a couple of days early. But on the day Jesus says “yup this is the time and this is where it will be” and everything comes together in time.

I did first think of how long the lamb would take to cook but have you ever made flat breads and salads of bitter herbs? These things are really time consuming – especially if it was for so many people. But it was done and done well. Well enough that Jesus had time to explain what was going to happen next.

For me my “lesson learned” is to not expect to know in advance. The more I’ve gone through healing I’ve realised that having to tightly ordered plan for everything is a control thing that is to do with anxieties from past traumas and so I am learning to let it go, learning to trust the process, learning that if it doesn’t happen then the world won’t end.

I wonder if Jesus’ disciples had reached that point of not having to control things [apart from Judas], of not having to have all their ducks in a row, and had got to a point of believing that Jesus would make things happen as they were meant to happen? And if they didn’t happen then that was ok.

I can only hope and pray that I can move more towards that place so that worries are no longer there. Not that I have to give them to Jesus but that they are just no longer there because I live in a place of knowing that no matter what Jesus has it covered – like those disciples appear to have got to with the Passover meal.

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Holy Week Wednesday

Holy Wednesday

My little dog, Renly, and Mikey the greyhound who I walk twice a week. Photographed 25th March 2024 by myself. Both dogs but both not only very different in size but in temperament. Mikey is very nervy and scared of his own shadow whereas Renly would take on the world

I am really enjoying working my way through Holy Week, looking at things differently and see what God reveals to me, and then sharing it with you.

Today the verses read in churches are Judas betraying Jesus [Matthew 26:14-16] and Mary anointing Jesus at Simon the Lepers house [Matthew26:6-13] Interestingly the gospel of John puts Mary anointing Jesus as six days before Passover and the day before Palm Sunday. But I’m going with the Matthew order because it suits my story letting and the point I’d like to make. See we all change things to suit what we would like to say 🙂

So there are three key people in these stories –

  • Judas, who has followed Jesus for about three years, has been picked as one of the top twelve, knows Jesus intimately, was there when Peter said “You are the Christ”, and yet wants to force Jesus’s hand. It is like he has worked out, though what he has heard from Jesus, what the ultimate goal is, and so he wants to take control, do things his way and move things along a bit. He knows that the high priests want to do something to get rid of Jesus, but I think Judas believes that if he takes control then Jesus will smite all who are oppressing the people. Really following from Jesus’s trashing of the temple the religious leaders were exploiting the people in their worship as much as the Romans were exploiting the people in their regular work life. So Judas had it worked out and “knew” he could sort things out.
  • Simon the Leper, was high up in society, has money and influence, and sees in Jesus maybe a kindred spirit. He knows this is someone he needs to get in with, to get to know better. He can pick up that there is something about Jesus that he likes and wants more of. So he invites Jesus to a meal to chat with him, to find out more about him, to work out whether he is worth supporting.
  • Mary, the woman who “wastes” an expensive perfume anointing Jesus. Tradition says she could have been a prostitute but we don’t know, but from Simon’s reaction she isn’t the sort of person who should be messing with the man he might sponsor. We never know where she gets the perfume. It has been said she saved it up from her prostitution work, but that was a lot of perfume so either she was a high-class prostitute or she was quite old. I do like the idea of her being a high-class whore and that some of the men eating with Jesus at the moment, and maybe even Simon himself, had known her intimately and it had been some of their money that had paid towards that perfume. Anyway wherever it came from she doesn’t care. She is so in love with this man and sees so much in him that she wants to just abundantly worship him and not give a stuff what anyone else things.

So we have

  • The believer who wants things done their way
  • The almost believer who wants more proof before they commit
  • The abundant worshiper who crazily worships without need control, details or proof.

So which one are you? Which one am I?

I would say I’m all three.

  • Sometimes I get mad at Jesus because I believe I know what the right way would be, what God should/shouldn’t do. But then I and either God doesn’t tell me what I want to hear, or for a situation I don’t get the answers I think are right for that given situation. This is because God see the bigger picture. But I still, at times, would like to force God’s hand.
  • Sometimes I am wary of committing and would like a bit more proof, please. Like that whole thing of not being open about what I believe, not telling people I’m praying for them. But also at times not praying or doing because I’ve felt I’ve been let down by God before and so I don’t quite trust them.
  • And then there are times when I need no proof and don’t care what the outcome is or what other people thing but just trust in Jesus and am able to worship with a free heart.

I believe all three of these people appear at this part of the story to help us see who diverse we are. None of these people are wrong [Jesus had to be crucified so it wasn’t Judas who did it but it was God’s plan – another blog maybe???] All were doing what we all do at certain times during our Christian walk – getting mad and trying to control God, wanting more proof, unhindered worship.

I think we need to learn to be kinder on ourselves and realise God knows us fully, loves us fully, died for us fully, and so it is ok to roll between these different ways that we accept Jesus, but also at the end of Monday’s post, come back to forgiving – ourselves, each other, God – and not feel guilty for “getting it wrong again”

Also when I think too often we think of singing as singing. And there is nothing wrong with that. But as when Mary anoints Jesus she is worshiping by making a bit of a spectacle of herself and giving away something important. Sometimes, I think, that for me that can listening to the old ladies I see on my dog walk and not judging, not telling them what they should do, but really listening, and then giving it to God afterwards. Sometimes it is chattering to the birds and the trees and the sea and the sky and telling it how amazing it is.

With Mary it moves back to that thing from Palm Sunday of what would I be willing to give to Jesus in extravagant worship, like with the laying of the coats in front of the donkey?

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Holy Week Tuesday

Holy Tuesday

Exploring new paths. Near Ryde, Isle of Wight. Saturday 9th March 2024. Photographed by myself. This is what I hope to do with my look through Holy Week, to explore new paths, and to walk them whether they look inviting or not. I hope you enjoy my journey with me

So as we progress through “Holy week” we reach Tuesday, which is like a down-day. You know that day when you’re on holiday when you’ve done all the best things first because you were so excited to be away then you want to save things for the rest of the week. There is that day mid-week where you just chill out, chat, read books and take stock. Well I think Jesus used this day for just that reason.

This is the day where he spends time preparing his disciples for what is going to happen and how to cope with it all. He explains not just his death but how the worship of God has gone astray in Israel and how he is to redeem it. It is those sort of stories that one hears but probably doesn’t fully understand until after it has happened.

We seemed to spend this past weekend bumping into people who shared about theirs or a close family member’s impending operations or about their parents aging and how they were coping. Most seemed to get the facts but then were in gentle denial about what was really going on. As an outsider it was easier to see more rationally then those closer to the issue.

I think that was the same with the disciples. They could probably have recited everything Jesus had said to someone else but that doesn’t mean they fully understood the implications. They were too close. We, on the other hand, stand 2000 years beyond the events. We know the outcome. But we also don’t have that same relationship with the living Jesus as those disciples did; no matter what we say about having “a relationship with Jesus”. I don’t believe it is the same as the walking physical relationship those disciples had.

So Jesus does his best, as a caring loving friend, to prepare his friends for what he knows to be the inevitable end of this facet of his relationship with them.

As I’ve explored in The Trauma of Grief, there was huge difference in the processing methods of my grief when someone close died traumatically compared to how I coped with the death of my friend from cancer who was able to give away her possessions and say goodbye to everyone. Yes I do have a goodbye email from Tessa sent on the Sunday before she died.

Even though Jesus’s death was humongously traumatic, he used his last fully “down day” to do the equivalent of sending that goodbye email. He did his best to let them know the whys and the wherefores and the whatevers of what he knew was going to happen. I’m sure he did it so that they could grieve his death fully and be ready to be reunited with him rather than them getting stuck in the trauma of grief.

This day isn’t Jesus last time of showing compassion but, as each of the gospel writers writes, it appears to be a day he takes out just for those closest to him.

Could we do that? I hope I can. I hope I’m not too busy wanting to do but can just spend time being with those I love, saying my goodbyes and giving my reassurances. For me this is the lesson I am learning from this day of Holy Week

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Holy Week Monday

Holy Monday

A wild sea has pulled a bouy from wherever it was attached. For me this is what Jesus does on “Holy Monday”. He causes a storm and pulls things that people were using for protection loose.

My two favourite stories happen on “Holy” Monday. One that no one can get their heads round where Jesus curses the fig tree and then when Jesus really lets loose in the temple and kicks arse.

The cursing of the fig tree is told in one go in Matthew 21:18-22 but in Mark it is split into two halves with the trashing of the temple put between the curse and the explanation, which I think is great story telling. {Mark 11:12-26]

Picture Mark’s storytelling. Get him sat with you in a room. You are gathered round waiting to hear all this. You also know that this is the week leading up to Jesus’ death.

So Mark tells of the glorious peaceful procession into Jerusalem. Then it is like Jesus has one of those blips like we all do when something wonderful has happened. We get grouchy at the deflation of things. How many times have you done something amazing, celebrated your success then felt like you could fight the world the following day? Or is that just me???

But remember Jesus knows that is going to happen in a couple of days time. Or maybe he doesn’t know it is this Passover but knows that his death has to come one a Passover soon and it could be this one.

This past week I’ve had a cough, been shivery and also felt just yuck, but I remembered it was the anniversary of both my sister and my friend’s deaths. Both of which were unexpected and traumatic. My body was reacting and going into fight/flight/freeze mode because it was remembering what was going to happen.

Jesus knew what was going to happen. And I suspect he knew it was going to be this Passover because it is said that this one was a long one [Might explain more in a later post]. The signs were right. I think, if Jesus was truly human then he was scared too.

Anyway he is going into Jerusalem on those days of preparation for this long Passover and sees a tree looking good but with nothing to feed anyone from. Then he turns up at the Temple and it is a mess of capitalism and corruption. Looking good but not feeding anyone. The temple laws are being obeyed – people having to have the right things for the right sacrifices – but it was not being obeyed with the loving heart of God.

Jesus needs things right before he dies. This is not how people should be called into worship and connect with God. They need to be free of rules and be able to come as they are. Jesus was preparing the temple for his death and resurrection. Like giving it a spring clean.

Slight detour but …. before I go on holiday I like to give my house a super clean, tidy, change the bed, having everything tidied, clean and in order. So that when I come back from holiday I come home to a lovely looking house. It is a reason why I don’t have house sitters. They might keep it clean but things won’t be as I’d like them. I do wonder if this is what Jesus wanted with the temple – for it to be spring cleaned and as it should be so that when he rose again the following week things were “in place”.

But also I wonder if he was setting things up so the leaders were angry enough to want to get rid of him. Was this another of those God-plots where God makes sure everything is in place for what they want to do?

I do love how Mark bookends the temple episode with the fig tree. It gets cursed on the way in and then on the way out Jesus use the dead tree as a metaphor to talk about having faith. It finishes with Jesus saying

Whenever you stand up to pray, you must forgive others for what they have done to you. Then your Father in heaven will forgive your sins.

Everything you ask for in prayer will be yours if you only have faith

Mark 11:25-26 and 24

It is great storytelling. Clear out the greed and need for order and to “get things right”. Stop looking good but not being nourishing to others. Then forgive those who’ve done you wrong [people and God] whether they are sorry or not. And then you can ask for anything in prayer with faith. And God will answer you as God knows best. Trusting in your heavenly Father and not in what you think is a good idea.

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Holy Week Palm Sunday

Palm Sunday

I planning, at least at this end of the week, to do a blog post for every day of what the Western Christian Church calls Holy Week. So we start with Palm Sunday.

Being brought up in an Anglican church every Palm Sunday we would get give Palm crosses. Little things of dried palm leaves woven into a cross.

As children we would then use them as swords and fight each other on the way home. The meaning totally missed!

But it got me thinking about the palms that were allegedly strewn as the feet of the donkey Jesus was on as he rode into Jerusalem. How big were they? Where did they come from? Who thought of it first?

Did you know that is it only in John’s gospel that it states palm leaves? In the other three gospels it says people lay their garments or cut rushes to lay in front of Jesus’ path. Always interesting how Church tradition picks on one thing and we all decide that was what it was.

I have just googled palm leaves and found out they are not as big as I thought. They would not have been that hard to gather and wave and strew.

They are a good size but not huge. I think this procession is a bit awesome. Though its a shame they aren’t stood at the side of the road so we could see how a donkey would have managed walking over them

But then this morning my husband went to church and this is what he came back with – being held by a small cuddly donkey I bought from the Isle of Wight Donkey sanctuary.

My first thought when I saw it was the Doug Horley song “Have we made our God too small?” Do click on the link and have a listen.

But in truth I do wonder if we have made our God too small. We give out small dry crosses when at the time the people grabbed whatever was nearest and acted out an honouring. In ancient Near Eastern cultures it was seen as customary to cover the path of someone seen worthy of honouring. So here were the local people maybe not quite realising who Jesus was but understanding he was something worth honouring, and so they honouring him with whatever they had at hand; whether their cloaks, palm leaves or reeds. That doesn’t matter. But they took what they had to hand to honour Jesus as he boldly but peaceably rode into the main capital city just a few days before the biggest Jewish festival of the year.

We do do this. Look at pictures of when our royalty die or are crown.

Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral parade. See the flowers being thrown.

But we almost keep the whole doing that for Jesus as something quiet. I do know some churches do parades on Palm Sunday. The ones I’ve been involved in have been small, almost embarrassed affairs where we all huddle together for safety and talk to each other hoping not to engage with anyone else!!!

I was going to say if we really got the enormity of the whole Palm Sunday thing what would we do, but we have to remember these people mention in the gospels – whether fully true or exaggerated by writerly poetic license – did not know what the significance of Jesus riding on a donkey into Jerusalem meant but they still turned up. They still made a bit of a fuss. They still gave of what they had.

I think, because it is mentioned in all four gospels, it did happen and it was a big enough event for many people to say they remembered it. It is alleged that Mark interview Peter for his gospel, and also we have to remember that both Matthew and John were there. So even if they remember it slightly differently once they knew the significance it still happened.

Oh and I’ve also realised that we see Sunday as a day off or a day to be at church but for those ancient Near Eastern peoples it was a working day. For the Jews it was the first day back at work after Shabbat. They took time out of their working day to watch this enigmatic person ride by on a symbol of peace when they were in a country oppressed by a strong military junta. Now that is even more amazing!!!

So again what would I do, what would you do, if we were there and if we knew Jesus was coming to our town? We don’t know this is his final Sunday but we do want to do something honouring. We are willing to take time off work for this.

What would we do? I don’t think we would just shyly wave and fiddle with these woven things we get given at church on Palm Sunday. I’d like to think I’d take off my new DryRobe and let his donkey trample over it and not feel either disgruntled or proud that I had done that. What would you give?

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hope plans

What Plans?

Where are we going? says the little dog trusting that his owners will not let him down. Clwyddian Hills 17th March 2024 Photographed by myself

I will come to you and fulfil my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places

Jeremiah 29: 10-14

This came up in a Bible reading the other day it and got me thinking. So often we hear sermons or have a poster with the highlighted bit – “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” – or a version of that. And we see it as God having some great plan for us that we need to seek out and only when we find this right plan will be prosper, have hope and a future.

I hate to say it but whatever we do we have a future. There is no choice is that one. Also having hope, I believe is a state of mind. You can be in the perfect place, with the perfect weather, with those people who are kind and supportive, with the best of the best around you, but you can still feel like you are missing something, that things are not hopeful. Just look at all the famous successful people who take their own lives to have evidence of that. But also look at those people on holiday who just look a bit sad. Hope comes from the inside.

But also look at what Jeremiah says around those verses that so many know so well. It says that God will bring us back from a place where we have felt deserted, where we have allowed the worries of the world to overwhelm us. I do think “captivity” is being caught up in the worries of the world and not living in hope, not realising that no matter what’s happen the Creator of the Universe loves each one of us. That doesn’t mean outside circumstances will be great but inside of us we can call on the Lord and be heard. We can be freed from the captivity of our own making.

But here’s the catch – we need to seek God with all our hearts. Not just the bit that wants the Creator to make things right for us, but that is willing to say “here’s my heart. Even the grumpy bits. But even those bits are seeking you because I know you love the out-of-sorts parts of me as much as the parts I show to the rest of the world when I’m trying to show I’m doing ok.”

So are we willing to seek God with all our hearts so God can release us from our own captivity. [Remember at this point in the history of Israel they were in exile because they put things before God] and trust that whatever we do – whether that is chatting to someone in the park or sorting out climate change – that this is the plan God has for us and through that we have hope because hope in inside of us because we hang out with God?

I also think plans God has for us are also the things that make our hearts sing and so we don’t have angst and beat ourselves up but we need to slow down and listen to our own hearts. But of course that means we need some silence, some trust, and maybe that hope!

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Clean Monday procrastinating

Clean Monday – 18th March 2024

This will also appear on Godspacelight at some point this week

Spring in my local park – March 2024. Photographed by myself

I did a piece last year for Clean Monday and only just remembered as the ideas fell into my head to write a piece this year

This year’s is taking a very different tack. I won’t go over what I wrote last time. You can read it if you want. This year I am much more focused on the cleaning angle.

Until March 2020 I rented the top two rooms out in my house with Airbnb. This meant that almost every day I was having to scrub down my house, check for dust, hidden dog toys, that we’d not left anything just lying about. It was a hard job but at that time I had the grace for it and almost enjoyed it. Then enter lockdown and Covid. My daughter lived with us for eleven of the main sixteen months. My husband was now working from home. There was no thought of anyone coming to stay over the 2020/21 period. So no real worry about keeping things too clean.

Lockdown ended. Daughter went back to her own town and back to work. Husband has continued working in the top small bedroom, venturing into his office occasionally but not regularly. All this gave me time to re-evaluate whether I wanted people staying in my house; to which the answer was No. The grace had gone and so it was time to move on with what I did with my time.

I’ve got more into my writing, into praying, into study, into coffee with friends. Life has changed. But so has my love of doing housework.

So with spring slowly appearing I have decided I need to give the house a real spring clean. I wrote the list. I planned out the rooms – what needed doing and how. I checked I had the required tools and products. I even checked the date to see what would be good one to start. What better date than today?

Or maybe tomorrow? Or when it’s warmer? Or just before we go on holiday? Or when we come back from holiday? Or just before certain friends come to stay? Or maybe I need to buy a steamer or a handheld hoover? Or perhaps I’ll do the car first? Or the garden? Or the dog?????

But then I realised how much I can be like this with my Christian life. I make the lists of what I want from this season, what books to read, the journal to write in, put an allotted time in my diary – and then …. Well there is always tomorrow. Next week. After the holidays. After friends come to stay. After I’ve bought a certain book. Perhaps the dog needs big hike in the woods and I could pray then/write poetry then/get closer to God then.

EXCUSES! Nothing more than excuses! A fear? Of what? Of the changes God might make?

Aren’t we good at finding plausible excuses?Yet the Bible has much to say about not putting off to tomorrow what you can do today. I thought there were only one or two but Open Bible has collected 46!!! Forty six bible verses that pertain to doing things when you say you’ll do them and not putting them off! Oh My Goodness!!!! That has certainly surprised me.

So perhaps I will get on and start on those spring cleaning chores. Though I think I’ll listen to Christine’s Liturgical Rebels podcasts as I do. Covering both the physical cleaning and a bit of spiritual cleaning too. And hopefully the biggest thing I’ll learn is not to put off till tomorrow what I am more than capable of doing today.