old people – Aspirational Adventures

Melmerby by Carl Bendelow is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

Prejudice is a fascinating thing. We’ve all got it no matter what we think. For instance how many people reacted to my idea yesterday of using the talents of young drug dealers and educating them for big business in a negative way? [Thank you Ritish for your positive response] But how many of us deep in our hearts react negatively about certain people groups without really thinking. If we realise then as educated people we do often check ourselves and say sorry but often we don’t quite notice.

I’ve been reading No Place To Call Home by Katharine Quamby about gypsies and travelers in the UK especially those evicted from Dale Farm in the early 2000s. It amazed me how many things I read that I went “oh goodness that’s what I thought” only to discover that this was a minority not the majority, encouraged by media and TV programs like “Traffic Cops”.

Interesting fact – Gypsies and Travelers are not seen as an ethnic minority group in their own right! I wonder if this is because they are mainly Catholic?? That old throw back to anti-Catholicism. Another age old embedded prejudice.

We all judge people, subconsciously by their appearance, what they say, how they say it, even where they live and what car they drive.

I’ve just started watching a series of the fictionalised life of Griselda Bianco, a ruthless drug dealer. But it is interesting how she gets missed when she starts in the 1970s because both other dealers and the Police cannot believe it is a woman running the operation. In this account it is a woman detective in the Miami police who first notices but the other detectives won’t take any notice of what she is saying because she is a woman. Again that prejudice of how it could not be a woman who would deal in ruthless drug related activities and how a woman could not have worked it out!

I could list many stories where the author uses that clever twist of it being a woman not a man who committed that crime, playing into our stereotypes, into our prejudices.

I am trying really hard to ponder how often I look at someone and judge them before knowing them, or judge a people group without knowing all the facts.

Take the idea of the kids hanging out in the park versus the old people hanging out in the park. Immediately we’ve got different narratives running through our heads for the reasons they are there – one more noble than the other!

Jesus says

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you

Matthew 7:2

So let us be careful with anyone, even if we think we know the truth, let us be careful we are not stepping into our own well-worn, subconscious prejudices.

Why do you care for those you care for?

Types Old Believers Maxim Dmitriev by J. Paul Getty Museum is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

This quote from Henri Nouwen’s meditation for today really brought me up short today and got me thinking. There is always something thought provoking in them but, for myself as a youth and children’s worker, made me ponder.

To care for the elderly means then that we allow the elderly to make us poor by inviting us to give up the illusion that we created our own life and that nothing or nobody can take it away from us.

Meditations – 26th June 2024

How much of any church outreach is directed towards the elderly? The focus is generally on the young with the tag of bringing in new people and families; often with the hope that they will then volunteer to do things and so ease the burdens of church ministry.

Working with young people does help to give a young attitude to life but can it also help us pretend we’re still young, and not having to admit to the inevitability of death. . There’s that phrase about being “seventy years young” or whatever, rarely admitting to the fact that life is passing us by and we aren’t going to live forever.

I know there are some people who will feel this is not a “good” topic to speak of and that we are to almost pretend it won’t happen rather than be preparing towards it. I know people in their 70s and 80s who still don’t have a funeral plan or have put in people to be powers of attorney over their estates, as if by not doing it one can avoid the conversation.

Even as I got more and more involved with youth work I did wonder why there was never much out there for older people. Most of the charismatic churches I was involved in had no elderly ministry at all. And even some of the more established denominations, even though they did many funerals and taking communion to the housebound, had no form of outreach to the elderly. Nothing where they were taking Jesus to those whose end of life was definitely getting closer.

I love Nouwen’s idea that by caring for the elderly we minister to ourselves by helping each of us realise that we “create our own life” and that “nothing or nobody can take it away from us.” That we can do all these mediations, well-being courses, fitness regimes to “stay young” as if that is going to stop you from eventually getting old and dying.

Perhaps as well as keeping our bodies and minds as fit as we can we also need to be keeping our spirits and souls clean and ready to meet with God. As I watch my mother’s husband descend into dementia and his body deteriorate it does make me think about how, before that happens to myself and to those I love, I want to be “right with God”. I want to have a pure heart and clean hands [Psalm 24:4] so that whatever happens I am ready to meet with my God.

I may carrying on doing the youth and children’s work that I do and may not get into working with the elderly but I do hope that I can let go of “the illusion that [I] created [my] own life and that nothing or nobody can take it away from [me]” and can keep God dead centre no matter what.