The other day I learned that original meaning of the word “Inspiration” was defined as the “immediate influence of God” and the idea was closely linked to writing (rather than other art-forms) as it described how those who wrote holy books were influenced by a higher power to do so – according to the lovely Grace of Wordfoolery.
She goes on to say about how it comes from Old French and Latin to blow into or breathe upon, and figuratively to excite or inspire somebody.
She does say more about how it came into its modern usage but you can read that. What inspired me was this whole thing of this immediate influence of God, especially to writing, and this whole breathing upon or blowing into.
I just love the idea of God blowing on to my writing – whether it is these random ponderings on here or the stories, etc I write. For me God inspired writing does not have to just biblical based or mentioning God. Or even things like CS Lewis or Tolkien allegories. I think God inspired writing can be anything and for me this definition of the word “inspiration” means God can breath into or blow upon anything whether I, or other writers, acknowledge their influence.
I often do some breathing exercises before I write because it helps me focus, but I think now I might do some with intention to get some of that “immediate influence of God”.
Belated reflections on St Stephen’s Day, which was yesterday. 26th December. Interestingly it fits in with, what I felt was a bad BBC drama, Vigil. In one episode the main character has been captured by suspected Middle Eastern terrorists and the British soldiers come with their drones to rescue her. It is only when someone looks up that there can be a positive identification made by facial recognition software. Someone facing downwards, side-wards or anyway other than directly up cannot be recognised.
Now here’s the verse from the story of Stephen that struck me. Do read the whole story if you don’t know it.
54 When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. 55 But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 56 “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
Acts 7 54-56
Now I know God knows us all whether we look up at them or not [which actually those back viewing the drone footage knew everyone anyway] But with those viewing the drone footage they needed this full on head upwards facing the camera identification to either rescue or destroy.
I know heaven isn’t “up there” and hell “down there” but I do wonder if we look upwards as we go through life, whether walking, talking with friends, working, etc whether we connect with God more so.
I know that there is prostrating prayer, bowed down prayer, but how often do we encourage prayer with heads raised? Would Stephen have seen that amazing vision if he had bowed his head and accepted his lot?
I wonder if he lifted his head in defiance to the anger of the religious leaders. [For those who don’t know he then gets stoned to death] I don’t expect he did it to receive that vision. I do wonder, as I spend time with this story, if God blessed Stephen because he was bold enough to look upwards, to see the sun shining, to hear the birds singing, to graciously rather than fearfully accept his fate.
As 2023 ends and 2024 is coming I hope that I can lift my head more to God, to the wonder of my world, to the joy of being, and for the health of my body, and no longer allow the pessimism that can so easily engulf to drag my head downwards thus hindering my well-being.
I don’t normally fill my posts with bible verses but for the past few days these Bible verses has been buzzing about in my head. Firstly –
Trust in the Godhead/the Universe with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge God in all you do and God will make your paths straight
Proverbs 3:5-6
There has been some stuff going on, and still is, that I’m not 100% sure about. But this verse, one that gets handed out regularly to those who are just starting out on their journey with Jesus, keeps buzzing around. And I have realised something …. It doesn’t mean just acknowledge the Godhead in the Christian activities you do, the things you think are “good” things, but it means acknowledge God in EVERYTHING YOU DO.
So that means in work, in family life, in church life, in therapies, in sport, in walking the dog, in making meals, in talking with people, etc, etc, etc. Now that doesn’t mean dropping God into all things, or even trying to be “holy”, whatever that means. I think it just means remembering and knowing that God is in all that you do – almost whether they are acknowledge or not. But it makes a huge difference when they are acknowledged.
For for instance I was somewhere and things were not going as I would have like and I was feeling a bit tense, but once I took myself off, did some deep breathing, did some remembering of the QEC things I had done and making sure I placed my whole trust, not just a bit of it, in God’s hands I felt so much calmer.
From there I acknowledge God in all that was going on and let go of what I thought was right and proper [my understanding] and from that moment things just went smoother. And things can only go smoothly if the path is straight and level.
Ok I had to keep coming back to that point of breathing, of remembering the QEC stuff and placing my trust in God not in my understanding, but each time I did I felt more at peace.
It did not change the situation but it changed my heart, changed my direction, changed what I was thinking and feeling.
Now I stand at a place where I feel I am waiting for something to happen. I can either wait for doors to open or I can volunteer for things and fill my time. Whilst pondering this another bible verse came to mind
Stand at the crossroads and look, ask for the ancient paths. Ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your soul
Jeremiah 16:6
And I feel like as I am trusting God with all my heart and acknowledging them in all my ways so it means I have to stand and look and ask. I don’t know what my ancient ways are, but I do know that I’d love to go and do whatever gives my soul rest.
And I don’t think rest means doing nothing. I think it means doing what we are meant to do, doing what keeps us in flow, what gives us life.
So volunteering might be the right thing, waiting for doors to open might be the right thing, getting my writing out there might be the right thing. But for now I am going to stand, wait, ask and trust with all that I am, that God will let me know and give me peace as to which way to walk; that I will see those straight paths.
Above Abergwyngregan taken by myself 22nd March 2022
I am always amazed at my body when I listen to it. At the point when this photo was taken my heart was pumping and my breath was ragged. But that is to be expected.
I had chosen this path on a whim, though had had a bit of a look at the map the day beforehand, and I had walked the opposite way with my husband many years ago. But as I was going down the path from this point I noticed the pylons and I was very high above them. I could see the popular path to the waterfalls way below me but things seemed all wrong. So I sat down, got out my phone and tried to work out where I was. I couldn’t get a good signal and started to panic. I was on the top of this mountain surrounded by sheep and thought the path I was on could be wrong. My heart started racing and my stomach cramped and then my legs started to ache. I was at a point where I could convince myself that I could not go on. So I remembered my QEC work, got my autonomic nervous system [ANS] away from fight/flight mode, listened to my heart, put my phone away and continued along the path. This was about 45 minutes into my walk. The path curved left in a while and I went under the pylons and along to the waterfalls and back to my car.. I had been on the right path all along.
But what surprised me most of all was that as soon as I got my ANS calmed and started walking again my legs stopped aching and I did the next 75 minutes of my walk with not an ache. The pain in my legs was due to my fears. Interestingly my sister-in-law says she knows when she is nearing the end of a walk, no matter how long, because her legs start to ache. I know it is often seen as a form of encouragement to say “nearly there” but maybe that makes our bodies start to ache thinking we are nearly there.
I remember years ago when some famous politician’s car was blown up in the tunnel under the Houses of Parliament. One thing he said after was that even though he could not feel his legs he believed that no major blood vessels had been damaged and that he would survive. He said he had seen many young men on the battle field die because they had believed the injuries were fatal when they weren’t. Ok so different to my aching legs from fear that I was on the wrong path but also similar.
Another interesting thing with my body is that from Thursday or Friday I felt short of breath and it stayed with me till Monday. I even did a covid test to check I was negative. As you know from the My Sister post it was 10 years ago that my sister died. Well also 10 years ago a really close friend committed suicide. Eight years ago this same time period my son broke his collar bone playing rugby. Six years ago the same weekend my daughter had a major break up with a boyfriend and I helped her move from London to Cardiff. And then of course 2 years ago this self same time we went into lockdown. It was only when I was catching my breath at the top of yesterday’s climb that I realised over that whole period of last weekend I was holding my breath waiting for something bad to happen. Nothing did so now I can breath again. Again fascinating how my body remembered those incidents and was preparing itself.
I do think too often we are too busy and don’t listen to our bodies. Or we have so many other things piled around us that our heads are making too much noise to be able to really listen. Listening to our bodies takes time. Listening to our bodies means slowing down. Listening to our bodies takes understanding. Listening to our bodies means not judging them. Listening to our bodies means having a sense of awareness. It also means not being afraid to look back and ask “what happened then?”
I know this is a question I keep asking but – are we willing to slow down and really listen? to ourselves and also to the world around us?
Aspirational Adventures 