believing – Aspirational Adventures

Easter Saturday is the day in churches where the altar is stripped, where the church is laid bare, where things wait. But I believe during that space between crucifixion and resurrection Jesus was really busy. As Henri Nouwen says in a recent mediations

I don’t think you’ll ever be able to penetrate the mystery of God’s revelation in Jesus until it strikes you that the major part of Jesus’ life was hidden and that even the “public” years remained invisible as far as most people were concerned. Whereas the way of the world is to insist on publicity, celebrity, popularity, and getting maximum exposure, God prefers to work in secret. You must let that mystery of God’s secrecy, God’s anonymity, sink deeply into your consciousness because, otherwise, you’re continually looking at it from the wrong point of view. In God’s sight the things that really matter seldom take place in public. . . . Maybe, while we focus our whole attention on the VIPs and their movements, on peace conferences and protest demonstrations, it’s the totally unknown people, praying and working in silence, who make God save us yet again from destruction.https://henrinouwen.org/meditation/ 26th March 2024

One of those “majorly hidden” parts was during those three days.

As a child I found the whole thing that Jesus says he’ll be in the tomb for three days and three nights but that the church calendar had him only dead for two nights and a half day on Friday, a full day on Saturday and then he was up really early on Sunday. That is not three days and nights at all.

Apparently as the church got more organised it decided to have Jesus crucified on a Friday and risen on a Sunday to stop people being idle for too long.

Until the 4th century, Jesus’ Last Supper, his death, and his Resurrection were observed in one single commemoration on the evening before Easter. Since then, those three events have been observed separately—Easter, as the commemoration of Jesus’ Resurrection, being considered the pivotal event.
https://www.britannica.com/topic/Good-Friday

I heard one time that when Jesus died it was a time when there was more than one Passover at the same time. So the regular Passover to celebrate the exodus for Egypt but also the Jubilee Passover when slaves were set free, land was allowed to lie fallow, debts were cancelled, etc. – which seems about right with what Jesus was saying he was all about. As well as a regular Shabbat.

So if we move Jesus death forward by a day – at the start of the Jubilee Passover – then get the three nights before he rose again. But we also get the Jewish peoples thinking about not just being freed from slavery but the whole redemption thing that goes on with Jubilee. As well as the whole resting and trusting God to sort things – which can be easy to say when we’re in a good place but remember these people were oppressed.

So over what is now known as Easter Saturday which is a bit of a down day it was the time period – of probably 3 days and nights – when Jesus was battling with various things that stop us trusting and believing in God – slaves to our own ways of thinking and being, to our own issues and ways of dealing with life, caught up in our own debts and over work of ourselves and our land.

Whether Jesus was battling a real life devil and gaining those keys of hell from that devil we will never know, but there is enough “sh*t” in all of us that needs battling with to set us fully free that Jesus would have his work cut out there.

So instead of using this is an “oh my what do I do with it day” I’m going to do some journaling and free writing around what things I need to battle with in my life and hand over the Jesus. Remembering all the time that he has already won the battle but he won it in secret.

And it is that secret which is the mystery.

Maundy Thursday

I don’t believe that Jesus’ “Last Supper”, that final Passover meal where he reveals everything was like DaVinci’s painting.

Leonard Da Vinci’s Last Supper painting – Wikiart

I think it was a much more chaotic affair with families and friends and children and noise. The nearest I could get from my photos was when they did the conga at my son’s wedding back in December 2021. Some people loved it. Others really did not. And I think the goings on at that meal would have been similar. Some would have loved it and some would have not. Maybe they wanted to hear Jesus and someone was chatting. Maybe there were kids charging about as kids can be known to do. Perhaps that was why John was leaning on Jesus chest. Not as a sign of affection but so he could hear properly!!!

I am a bit of a planner, especially when it comes to an occasion. My son and his wife were planning their wedding for nearly a year, and much of that was so they could get the venue they wanted. How many of us on a lovely Sunday lunchtime struggle to find a pub or restaurant that is free because there are only limited spaces and other people have booked in advance?

For me one of the amazing things on this Passover day is that it is only on the actual day that the disciples say “Where do you want us to prepare the Passover meal?”.

Now we know Jerusalem is packed full of people because of the crowds who greeted Jesus on Sunday and then those who shout “Crucify him” later on. This is a big celebration where families come to be together. I’m wondering if the disciples’ families had come to join them too? It would be wrong almost to celebrate this huge occasion in the Jewish calendar away from your loved ones, I think. Also would Jesus have done this big reveal to just the clique of 12 or would he have wanted to include all those people who were not in the chosen 12 but had been following and supporting him for the years of his ministry? So we’re possibly looking for a venue and food for between 13-100 people. But nothing has yet been arranged.

Now as a planner, the one who says to my husband on a Saturday afternoon that if we are thinking of having Sunday lunch out we should book somewhere on said Saturday afternoon, would have struggled not having a place to go. But had everyone got to that point, remembering things like the feeding of the 5000, etc, where they trusted Jesus that he would come through with something.

Perhaps they had learned from the tale of Mary and Martha where Martha is told she is worrying too much about other things, about preparing, when being with Jesus and listening with him is the most important. So they believed by now that Jesus would come through. Trust! Belief!

We don’t know who the two disciples were that finally asked what the plan was for that evening. Though in Luke it says it was Peter and John [Luke 22:7-13]. But when Jesus tell them to “follow a man carrying a water jar” [Mark 14:13] they don’t say “what???” as many of us might do. They trusted and obeyed.

But it is not just his disciples/followers who trust but that of the man who owns the room where they have the Passover meal. We are not told who he is or how he fits into everything [plot hole!!] but whoever he was he had kept his room free for whatever reason when there must have been people clamoring for it. He could also get hold of and prepare enough food for the 13-100 of them that came.

For my son’s wedding we had to give our menu choices about two weeks previous so the hotel could get everything in and prepare it. We were about 35-40 people in total for the main do. And even for the meal with just family before the wedding [about a dozen of us] we still had to have our menu choices in a couple of days early. But on the day Jesus says “yup this is the time and this is where it will be” and everything comes together in time.

I did first think of how long the lamb would take to cook but have you ever made flat breads and salads of bitter herbs? These things are really time consuming – especially if it was for so many people. But it was done and done well. Well enough that Jesus had time to explain what was going to happen next.

For me my “lesson learned” is to not expect to know in advance. The more I’ve gone through healing I’ve realised that having to tightly ordered plan for everything is a control thing that is to do with anxieties from past traumas and so I am learning to let it go, learning to trust the process, learning that if it doesn’t happen then the world won’t end.

I wonder if Jesus’ disciples had reached that point of not having to control things [apart from Judas], of not having to have all their ducks in a row, and had got to a point of believing that Jesus would make things happen as they were meant to happen? And if they didn’t happen then that was ok.

I can only hope and pray that I can move more towards that place so that worries are no longer there. Not that I have to give them to Jesus but that they are just no longer there because I live in a place of knowing that no matter what Jesus has it covered – like those disciples appear to have got to with the Passover meal.