Categories
oughts passion

My Passions

One of my passions – encouraging other people to enjoy creative writing – whether adults in libraries or community centres, or children in school. Check out more of what I do with writing groups on my Barefoot At The Kitchen Table website

In Christine Sine’s newsletter to those of us who write for Godspacelight she talked about writing into her passion. This is probably one of the bests prompts I’ve had in ages. I have tried writing what I ought to write. I even set up a Substack account to write about writing for well-being but it’s failed. Why? Because, much as I love free writing for my own well-being, I wasn’t writing into my passion. I was trying to be something I wasn’t. I even tried putting in a regular structure to when I blogged but I’m afraid that isn’t me.

How often to do we do that – try to be something we are not? Whether it is in what we write or what we do? I think of many times when I have done something – job or ministry – that is so significant but isn’t me. Too many times to remember. It could even be something I’m good at, have talents in, but it isn’t my passion. I suppose if one jargoned it up I could say it wasn’t “my calling.”

As I’ve got older I’ve learned more and more not just what my skills and talents are but what I am passionate about. I love people, though I need time alone with a book too. If I’m honest my perfect day would be to go for a dog walk, coffee and breakfast with a friend or family member, have a rolling, random conversation that covers deep and meaning as well as trivial and silly; come home and write a blog piece on something that either the conversation has trigger or that was buzzing in my head; and finish the afternoon on the couch have a read of a good book, then maybe some intense Netflix drama with a glass of red wine to finish the day. Somewhere in that I’d like to ponder writing a short story or flash fiction, though maybe never get to write it; I’d like to email someone I enjoy writing to; run a writing workshop where I encourage others to get the most from putting pen to paper; and probably free write or journal myself.

But I can get into thinking I “ought to” write X, Y or Z; I “ought to” be connecting with a certain person or group and “ought to” be doing something with them. But that is my “oughts and shoulds” and not my passion coming through.

I’ve just read Timothy Keller’s The Prodigal God in which he talks of the older brother attitude being the one that says “its not fair” when God doesn’t do as we think they should do because we were “good Christians”. My “ought to” comes, I think, from a place that is where I’ve decided what a “good Christian” or a “good writer” would/should do. It isn’t coming from a place of my passion.

I think for all of us there are times when we do not run with our passions for many reasons; a need to fit in, a fear of missing out, having been told by a parental figure that life isn’t meant to be about fun, or whatever. I’m sure we all, if we allow ourselves to really hear our hearts, can come up with many reasons why we don’t follow our passions in work, in writing, in church stuff, in life in general. All of them have some truth in them but remember the devil goes around like a angel of light. The one who keeps us away from our true selves does it subtly not overtly. If it was overtly we would notice and rise above it. But it is filled with limited truths and comes from people who do care for us and want the best for us. But it is still lies if it keeps us from our passions and our true selves.

I’m grateful to all the healing that I’ve received so I can hear God clearly, hear my heart clearly, and be bold enough to step out into my passions. I’m also bold enough now to walk away from when I’ve try to do something that looks good but isn’t me; when I’ve done an “ought”. But this has come about because I know God loves me unconditionally all the time – not just when I get it right/write 🙂

Below are some pictures of some of my other passions. I do need to take more photos of coffee with my friends too

Categories
Looking well-being

Looking Up

My dog is always lifting his head up to me 🙂

Belated reflections on St Stephen’s Day, which was yesterday. 26th December. Interestingly it fits in with, what I felt was a bad BBC drama, Vigil. In one episode the main character has been captured by suspected Middle Eastern terrorists and the British soldiers come with their drones to rescue her. It is only when someone looks up that there can be a positive identification made by facial recognition software. Someone facing downwards, side-wards or anyway other than directly up cannot be recognised.

Now here’s the verse from the story of Stephen that struck me. Do read the whole story if you don’t know it.

54 When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. 55 But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 56 “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”

Acts 7 54-56

Now I know God knows us all whether we look up at them or not [which actually those back viewing the drone footage knew everyone anyway] But with those viewing the drone footage they needed this full on head upwards facing the camera identification to either rescue or destroy.

After reading this passage about Stephen I wonder if God needs us to look up to be able to fully show us things. Interestingly if you walk with your head upright on your shoulders then your breathing and your digestion are improved. If your head is even down a little bit then this makes it harder for your body to digest or your lungs to work to their full capacity. But perhaps it is also easier to worship God if our heads our upwards.

I know heaven isn’t “up there” and hell “down there” but I do wonder if we look upwards as we go through life, whether walking, talking with friends, working, etc whether we connect with God more so.

I know that there is prostrating prayer, bowed down prayer, but how often do we encourage prayer with heads raised? Would Stephen have seen that amazing vision if he had bowed his head and accepted his lot?

I wonder if he lifted his head in defiance to the anger of the religious leaders. [For those who don’t know he then gets stoned to death] I don’t expect he did it to receive that vision. I do wonder, as I spend time with this story, if God blessed Stephen because he was bold enough to look upwards, to see the sun shining, to hear the birds singing, to graciously rather than fearfully accept his fate.

As 2023 ends and 2024 is coming I hope that I can lift my head more to God, to the wonder of my world, to the joy of being, and for the health of my body, and no longer allow the pessimism that can so easily engulf to drag my head downwards thus hindering my well-being.

Do you fancy giving it a go too???